Gift for everyone

Gift from ????

Title of the gift: Nightmare

Pairing: Jinyoung x Reader

How many words: 3564

Rating:  U

Warnings: None

Note to my giftee: Merry Christmas! I hope you like it.

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Nightmare

You and Jinyoung had been each other’s biggest annoyance for as long as you could remember. Your very first memory of Jinyoung involved Jinyoung ruining the sandcastle you’d just built. His very first memory of you involved you kicking him in the shin. Neither of you could remember in which order these things had happened or why but since you’d both been only four years old at the time neither had mattered. Especially since you were both as stubborn as each other. You’d decided you didn’t like Jinyoung and he’d decided he didn’t like you and that had been that. Whenever you and your sister ended up at his house for a playdate or he and his sisters ended up at yours you did your best to ignore each other.

And then you’d both started school. Being the same age and living in the same neighbourhood you’d started school together and since your teacher knew your sisters were friends she’d assumed you and Jinyoung were friends too. Because of this she’d placed you at the same table. This had meant you’d spent half of your first year at school arguing with Jinyoung about stupid things like who got to use the red crayon first or trying to beat each other to the head of the line when it was your table’s turn to line up for breaktime or lunch. In the end your teacher had gotten sick of the bickering and separated you but this hadn’t stopped you arguing with each other at every other opportunity. You were sure you’d had her close to pulling her hair out more than once.

As you’d gotten older the bickering became less frequent and was replaced instead by a near constant battle to better each other. If you were in the classroom it was a competition to see who could get their hand up the fastest to answer a question. If you were in the playground it was a competition to see who could catch the most people in a game of tag or climb the highest on the climbing frame. Looking back on it now it had been kind of fun. Having someone to compete with stopped things from getting boring at least.

Then high school had come along and with it had come a temporary truce. Starting high school meant you’d both been thrown into a completely new set of people and a new social circle. And since Jinyoung was the only person from your primary school who’d ended up in the same class as you, you’d automatically gravitated towards him. Jinyoung might have been annoying but at least you knew what to expect from him and it seemed he’d felt the same way about you because he hadn’t protested when you’d taken the empty seat next to him that first day.

But this temporary truce had been… well temporary. Soon you’d both made your own friends. And since your friends and his very rarely interacted you’d naturally drifted apart. And this might have been fine, just because you were spending time with different people that didn’t mean you couldn’t be civil to each other. But then you’d joined the line for lunch one day and overheard Jinyoung talking about you. You hadn’t caught the whole conversation but you’d heard someone mention your name. And Jinyoung’s response had been ‘I have to talk to her, her sister is friends with my sister. And okay yes, she might be pretty but she’s kind of a nightmare.”

You hadn’t known why the words had hurt you so much. Jinyoung was always calling you names to your face, he was always teasing you and that had never bothered you before. But hearing him say those things about you to another person, to someone who didn’t know you, it had stung. It had taken you right back to when you were four years old and he’d kicked over your sandcastle. And what was worse was you didn’t know what to say. You wanted to tell him he was obnoxious and full of himself but if you did it would just back up his assertion that you were a ‘nightmare’. So in the end you hadn’t said anything at all. You’d left the lunch line before he could notice you were there and when he’d sat down next to you in class that afternoon you’d ignored his ‘hey’ of greeting and any furhter attempt he’d made at conversation.

Jinyoung had seemed unconcerned at first but when the silent treatment you’d settled on giving him had lasted the rest of the week he’d had the gall to ask you what your problem was.

So you’d told him. You’d told him that yes, you might be a nightmare but he was petty, vindictive, and two-faced and you didn’t want to speak to him ever again.

Jinyoung had looked hurt and confused at first. You’d even thought he might apologise. But after opening and closing his mouth a couple of times the look of bemusement on his face had vanished and his expression had hardened. ‘Fine’ he’d said before telling you he didn’t like talking to you anyway.

And that was it. That was the end of the civility. You’d gone back to competing with each other in class, annoying each other whenever you had the opportunity to and ignoring each other whenever you had to visit each other’s houses.

And with you both being as stubborn as teenagers as you had been when you were toddlers this had lasted the entirety of your high school career.

Then high school had come to an end and there was no reason for you to see Jinyoung at all. He moved away to study drama, you moved away to study history and you’d thought that would be that. Maybe you’d see him sometimes if you were visiting your parents when he was visiting his but you’d no longer have to deal with his annoying face every day. It was a good thing you told yourself. You should be happy.

And you were for a while. But then you’d realised that even if you hadn’t gotten on that didn’t mean you hadn’t been a big part of each other’s lives. Through all the ups and downs of growing up Jinyoung had been a constant, an annoying constant maybe but a constant nonetheless. And now you were in a brand new place with brand new people, trying to navigate it all, trying to work out who you could trust and who you should make friends with and it was all so scary. There was no Jinyoung there to fall back on, not this time. Because yes, Jinyoung could be a giant pain in the but at least you knew where you stood with him. There’d been that one blip back in high school where you’d forgotten you weren’t supposed to like each other but that hadn’t lasted long. You thought he was annoying and he thought you were a nightmare. It had been simple and it had been easy and you found you missed it.

Missed it enough that when you went home that Christmas you hadn’t tried to wheedle your way out of going next door to visit your neighbours. You’d agreed to deliver the card and the Christmas Cake your mother had made for them without question. And when Jinyoung’s mother had taken them from you with a smile and asked if you wanted to come in for some hot chocolate you’d eagerly taken her up on her offer.

And when you’d been ushered into the sitting room and Jinyoung had looked up, eyes first widening in confusion then expression settling into a frown you’d found yourself smiling like an idiot.

“What are you doing here?” he’d asked when his mother had left the room, sounding none too impressed to see you there.

“I’m here because your mother loves me and she invited me in for hot chocolate.” you chirped as you took a seat on the couch across from him, happy nothing had changed. “Why are you here? Have you run out of clean clothes and need mummy to do your washing for you?”

“No, I’m here because I’m a good son and I know my mother would be sad if I didn’t come home for the holidays.” Jinyoung had replied. “And she only loves you because she doesn’t know you. She still thinks you’re her friend’s adorable youngest daughter when you’re really just a smart who knows how to act cute when it counts.”

Even that hadn’t been enough to make your smile fade. In fact you’d only smiled wider. “I’ve missed you.” You’d told him unashamedly.

And Jinyoung had looked surprised for a second before offering you a shy smile of his own and telling you he’d missed you too.

You’d left his house that day after exchanging numbers and somehow managing to get Jinyoung to promise to keep in touch.

Jinyoung had kept that promise. He’d been the one to message you first, wishing you a happy new year.     And whenever the conversation between the two of you lapsed Jinyoung had been the one who would drop you a message out of the blue, asking you how your day had been or if you’d eaten.

And then one day his ‘Have you eaten?’ had been followed by ‘If you haven’t I’ll treat you’.

You’d reminded him you were in different cities so unless he knew your address and was planning on getting food delivered to your door that was an empty promise.

He’d told you that you weren’t in different cities, he’d was in town for the weekend and if you didn’t want a free meal then he’d find someone else to treat instead.

After some back and forth, with you accusing him of making things up and him insisting he really was in town and really would find someone else to spend time with if you didn’t agree to meet up you’d finally agreed to let him treat you to dinner.

It had been the first time you and Jinyoung had socialised outside of school without being forced to by your families and it had been nice. Okay, Jinyoung had snapped at you for helping yourself to food from his plate and you’d told him he was a smarmy -up when he’d switched on the charm and managed to get more free side dishes from the restaurant owner but if you hadn’t have bickered at least a little it would have been weird.

Then you found yourself walking back to your apartment with Jinyoung at your side, telling him you’d had fun and it would be nice to do it again.

Jinyoung nodded then went quiet. For a moment you thought you’d ruined it. He was going to tell you tell you he’d only dropped in on you because he’d been in town and it had been the polite thing to do, you could feel it.

But he hadn’t told you any such thing. Instead he looked up at you and said “I’m sorry you know.”

“Sorry for what?” you asked, slowing to a stop, thrown by the seriousness of his expression.

“For not being nicer to you when we were kids.”

“I wasn’t very nice to you either.” You reminded him, still feeling slightly bemused. You couldn’t remember Jinyoung ever apologising to you for anything before. It was a brand new experience for you and you didn’t know what to make of it.

“That’s not really the point.” He told you.

“Then what is?” You asked, still trying to work out what was going on.

“The point is… well the point is… you were never a nightmare…” he said quietly.

He sounded unsure of himself and that only confused you more. Jinyoung was usually so confident. It was kind of disconcerting. “I was.” You assured him. “I could be a total nightmare when I wanted to be. My parents can testify to that.”

“You know what I mean,” he argued.

Only you didn’t. And you told him so.

Jinyoung sighed. “I mean that I never meant what I said to Youngjae that day. I know what you heard and I want you to know I didn’t mean it. I wanted to tell you then that I didn’t mean it then but I just didn’t know how. If you I told you I didn’t meant it I’d have to tell you why I said it and that would have been embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing?” you echoed, still not entirely sure what he was trying to get at.

“Yes, embarrassing.” He repeated. “I told him you were I nightmare because I just wanted him to shut up. He kept telling me that you were pretty and that he wanted me to introduce you to him and I’d had enough, I wanted him to stop. I didn’t know why but I didn’t like that he wanted to get to know you better, I didn’t like the idea of him getting in between us even though there wasn’t really an us. Maybe it was because I’d known you longer, I kept telling myself. If you were going to be wasting your time on anyone it should have been on me.  So I told him you weren’t that great and that he could do better. But it was a lie. You were great.. I mean you are great… so yeah, I’m sorry I said those things and hurt you.”

Well… that was kind of adorable. “You don’t have to apologise,” you told him, fighting a smile, “We were friends, kind of… and you were never one for sharing your friends. Remember when we were playing dodge ball at break and Jaebum chose Hyunwoo for his team first before he picked you and you threw a fit?”

“I didn’t throw a fit.” Jinyoung argued, sounding much more himself. “I just explained to him calmly and clearly that he’d made a mistake and should have picked me.”

“Sure you did.” You’d been eight years old. He’d thrown a fit.

“I did.” Jinyoung insisted. And then the nervousness was back. “But that’s not it.” He carried on. “It’s not that I didn’t want to share a friend. It was… well it was because I didn’t want him to tell you that he liked you and then for you to end up liking him back. Because… well because I liked you. I’ve always liked you. That’s why arguing with you has always been so fun, if I’m annoying you or provoking you then your attention’s on me, isn’t it? You might not like me when I’m bugging you but at least you’re thinking about me and not anyone else.”

You were speechless. Jinyoung had just told you that he liked you. That he’d always liked you. And from the way his ears were turning red you were guessing that was more to it than him just wanting you to be friends. Maybe that was what it had been in the beginning, when you were younger but you were pretty sure that it wasn’t what it was now. And the more you thought about it the more sense it made. ‘She might be pretty’, that’s what he’d said to Youngjae all those years ago. You hadn’t thought much of it at the time, you’d been too focussed on the part where he’d called you a nightmare. But why say it at all if he hadn’t thought it? Why not tell Youngjae you were ugly and a nightmare?

And with a start you realised you’d done the same thing. ‘He might be handsome’ you’d told a friend when she’d told you she was thinking about asking Jinyoung out. It was your last year of high school and you should both have been focussing on your upcoming exams but talking about boys was a lot more fun ‘but he’s handsome and he knows it. You don’t want a boyfriend like that’. You’d told yourself at the time that you were just being a good friend. Yes Jinyoung was handsome and clever and talented but no one wanted a show off for a boyfriend, did they? But maybe it hadn’t been entirely selfless. Maybe it had been entirely selfish. Maybe you hadn’t wanted her to date Jinyoung because you liked him more than you wanted to admit. Maybe it had hurt so much when Jinyoung said those things to Youngjae, not because of what he’d said but because it had been Jinyoung saying the words.

“I mean it.” Jinyoung continued when you didn’t have a response for you right away, finding some confidence from somewhere. “You’re smart and you’re funny and you’re beautiful and I’m so glad we’re talking again. I like spending time with you and I’d like to spend more time with you in the future if you’d let me.”

“I… I…” you still didn’t know quite what to say. “… yeah…” you settled on at last, “… I’d like that too.”

“Good.” Jinyoung said with a smile and he was taking your hand in his. “Good… I’ll walk you home then. And maybe next weekend we can do something else.”

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You’d spent most of your weekends together ever since and most of your holidays too. And now it was Christmas again and you were standing in front of your bedroom mirror, biting your lip as you looked over your outfit. You’d visited Jinyoung’s parents so many times before but you’d never been this nervous. But then this time would be different. This time you weren’t visiting as the little girl who lived next door or as the sister of their daughter’s best friend. You were no longer a little girl and your sister wasn’t going to be there. No, this time you’d be walking through the door as their son’s girlfriend. And you had no idea how they were going to react to that. It had you feeling anxious and jittery.

And then your bedroom door was opening and you turned to see Jinyoung standing in the doorway. “Do we have to go?” you asked him.

“Yes.” He said, making his way in and shutting the door behind him. “They’ve been looking forward to having us for weeks.”

“We can tell them I’m ill.” You suggested. “Rearrange and visit after new year…”

“No we can’t.” Jinyoung reasoned. “Putting it off isn’t going to make you any less nervous about it. And I don’t know why you’re so worried anyway. My parents love you, you know that. They probably like you more than they like me.”

“They only love me because they don’t know me.” You reminded him, paraphrasing his words from a year ago. “I know how to act cute when it counts, remember? But what if once they get to know me properly they don’t like me anymore, what if they decide I’m not good enough for you…”

And Jinyoung was rolling his eyes.

“Don’t do that!” you muttered. “I’m being serious. What if they do?”

“They won’t.” Jinyoung insisted. “If anything they might decide I’m not good enough for you.”

“Don’t be stupid.” You mumbled, not feeling much better. It was a legitimate worry. Jinyoung was really close to his parents. If they told him that they thought you weren’t right for him then he’d end up listening to them eventually, you were sure of it.

“You’re the one being stupid.” Jinyoung told you and he was suddenly right in front of you, brushing your hair behind your shoulder, making you meet his eye. “Our parents just want us to be happy, don’t they? So when they see how happy I am when I’m with you there’s no way they’re not going to love you.”

“You’re happy when you’re with me about fifty per cent of the time, if that.” You pointed out. “The rest of the time we still bicker like children.”

“Maybe…” Jinyoung conceded with a smile, “… but that works for us. If we didn’t argue about everything and anything that would be weird.”

“Yeah… yeah it would be weird.” You agreed, giving a small smile of your own. “But I mean it… what if they think that’s a bad thing?”

Jinyoung sighed. “They won’t. And even if they do, it’s not their business. It’s our relationship not theirs.”

“But…” you started to say, intending to argue some more but you didn’t get the chance to.

Because Jinyoung’s hand was suddenly at your waist and his lips were on yours.

Kissing you to shut you up was something Jinyoung had tried more than once and usually it resulted in you pushing him away and scolding him only to end up kissing him anyway two minutes later. This time though you found your hand going to grip a handful of his shirt so you could pull him closer and deepen the kiss. Scolding him for his lack of manners… that could wait until later you decided. He tasted like peppermint you realised, your mother had clearly been handing candy canes out at the door again and peppermint was supposed to be good for your nerves.  At least that’s what your sister had once told you. So kissing him… it was practically medicine wasn’t it? So yes, the kissing was helping not hurting. And if that was the case then telling him off could definitely wait.