Note to my giftee: happy holidays!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Early Morning Show with Kim Yugyeom

“Hey—”

    “Wanna guess what I’m gonna say next?” you grumbled, becoming even more annoyed when you heard a small laugh on the other end.

    “Do you know what time it is, Kim Yugyeom? It’s three in the morning. Why the hell are you calling? Go find somebody else to bother and let me sleep in peace.”

You had to admit that Yugyeom knew you pretty well; save for the silly high-pitched tone he used to impersonate you, his impression was spot-on. Before you had a chance to reply to him, Yugyeom started speaking again.

“I just needed to talk to you.”

“Needed?” you said. “How urgent is this talk that you felt the need to call me in the middle of the night?”

“Y/N, come on,” Yugyeom whined. “Just hear me out.”

“Are you aware of a thing called a bedtime? Don’t know about you but it’s just a bit past mine right now.”

“This is important though.”

You highly doubted the significance of this conversation but figured that the earlier you agreed to listen to him, the sooner you could fall back asleep. “Fine. Whaddya want.”

“Woah, seriously?” Yugyeom sounded genuinely surprised at your agreement, and you immediately regretted your decision. Perhaps if you had said no one more time, he would’ve left you alone and you would’ve been able to sleep, but dammit, it was too late for that now.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m such a good friend. Actually, though, what is it?”

Yugyeom fell silent on the other end and your brows furrowed in concern. A silent Yugyeom was not a good Yugyeom.

“Gyeom?”

“Y-yeah?” he replied after a beat.

“What do you want?!”

“…SIKE. Haha, goodnight!”

The call disconnected and you fought the urge to chuck your phone at the wall.

⁂

“Sorry about yesterday. That was the practical joke segment of the show,” Yugyeom said, blissfully unaware of the damage his call had done to your nighttime routine and consequently, your ability to properly function during the day.

“If you’re sorry, why are you calling at 3 a.m. again? And what show are you talking about?” You pinched the bridge of your nose with one hand and tightened your grip on the phone with the other.

Yugyeom chuckled. “I said I needed to talk to you, didn’t I? And it’s The Early Morning Show with Kim Yugyeom. Duh.”

You scoffed in disbelief. “Some great ratings this show must have. Going ‘SIKE’ and hanging up on me must have been so entertaining for your viewers.”

“Hell yeah it was. But don’t worry; I’ll be serious this time, I promise.”

“You better be.”

Yugyeom adopted a squealing tone as he cried, “Ooh, I feel so threatened. Please don’t hurt me, Y/N—”

“I’m gonna hang up,” you sighed, exasperated.

“Wait, no. Serious, I’ll be serious.”

You gritted your teeth as you braced yourself for Yugyeom’s ‘serious’ talk. It was probably some stupid matter like if a hot dog was a sandwich or not. In the five years you had known Kim Yugyeom, when had he ever been truly serious?

“Y/N, what do you think of me?”

You made a face that would’ve sent Yugyeom into a fit of laughter had he been able to see it. “What kind of a question is that?”

“C’mon, it’s weird, but answer it. For the sake of the show,” he insisted.

“For the sake of the show, my .”

“What I think of you? That’s a hard question,” you murmured. You fought to keep your eyelids open for the sake of Yugyeom’s imaginary early morning show.

“You were nice at first but now that I know you better you’re the most annoying person on the planet. Oh, but do you wanna hear the good stuff or the bad?”

Yugyeom quickly corrected you. “The audience wants to hear the truth.”

“The truth? Gyeom, would I ever lie to y—don’t answer that. Okay, honestly… you’re a really good friend. You’re the only friend who calls me at stupid times to guest on a dumb self-gratifying show and whines when I complain for completely valid reasons, but you’re also the one who notices right away when something’s off. You somehow balance your obnoxiousness with your kindness so that you’re just nice enough that I haven’t considered seriously planning your death. I’ve said too many nice things about you. Can I stop?”

“And let the viewership ratings drop? You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would but uh, I appreciate having a friend like you, even though you talk a lot and make fun of me all the time.” You ran out of things to say and apparently so did Yugyeom because nobody made a sound for a few moments.

“Hey, Gyeom,” you said. “You know what’s weird? I feel like I don’t actually know you too well.”

“We’ve been friends for four years though. And we text, like, every day.”

“Yeah, but think about it. We’re always talking about stuff in the present and nothing deeper or personal. We’ve really only talked about ourselves on the surface.”

When Yugyeom finally spoke, his serious tone was still present.

“We gotta get know each other better.”

It sounded more like an order than anything because of his choice of words.

“Yeah, it wouldn’t hurt to, I guess,” you replied.

Yugyeom chuckled. “You can expect some questions on the next episode of the show. Anyway, thank you for guesting on our show today.”

“Sure. Am I getting paid for this?”

“Your payment is me wishing you sweet dreams.”

“What a waste of time,” you muttered, which only intensified Yugyeom’s laughter. “‘Night, Gyeom. Don’t call again.”

“Goodnight… Wait—”

It sounded like Yugyeom had been wanting to say something, but it could wait until next time. After all, you were counting on him to continue the conversation tomorrow.

⁂

“What did I say before I hung up last night?”

Yugyeom snickered and launched into a high-pitched chirp. “‘Night-night, Yugyeom oppa. Sweet dweams! I luv you!’”

“Not even close. And please don’t make calling me at three in the morning a habit.”

“I thought it was two.”

“Two forty-one is closer to three than two. So whaddya want this time—I mean, what’s the subject of the show today?” you asked, rather than attempting to argue.

“You!” Yugyeom sounded suspiciously perky and you continued with heightened caution.

“What exactly about me are you asking about?”

You could sense Yugyeom’s grin radiating through the phone. He’d prepared something, hadn’t he? Sure enough, he took a deep breath and adopted the voice of a pompous show host.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to The Early Morning Show with Kim Yugyeom. So far you’ve seen the prank segment and the confess sesh; now it’s time for the Q&A, where we ask your submitted questions to the celeb of the week!”

“Oh boy.”

“Today, we’ve brought back our most special guest, Y/N!” Yugyeom cheered and applauded while you mentally facepalmed.

“So, Y/N, how do you feel to be here?”

“Tired.”

“No worries; this segment will wake you right up! Let’s jump into the first question, shall we?”

You sighed. “We shall.”

“Alright! One curious viewer asked, ‘Why are you vegan?’”

You hadn’t been expecting an actual question from him, much less a three a.m. interview on this stupid show, so it took you a while to formulate sentences with some coherent thought behind them. “Well, I used to be vegetarian. My dad was always talking about how poorly animals were treated in the food industry, and not eating meat was our family’s way of taking a stand against that. Later on, when I started doing my own research on the topic, I decided to switch to veganism to calm my conscience, and it worked, so I’ve stuck with it ever since.”

“Huh.”

You were kind of taken aback by Yugyeom’s reaction. “What do you mean, huh?”

“Nothing. It’s just… I never knew that.”

“O…kay?”

Yugyeom sighed heavily and you barely stopped yourself from saying ‘that’s my line’.

“I don’t know, Y/N. It’s been three years since you’ve moved and I just think we’re growing apart and I— I don’t want that to happen.”

Taken by surprise by Yugyeom's honesty, you stammered, “O-oh, that’s—”

He cut you off before you could finish.

“We’re getting sidetracked here. Let’s move on to the next question: what do you enjoy doing in your free time?”

You clucked your tongue and shook your head. “Gyeom, I thought you’d know.”

“Of course I know.” Obviously a bluff. “Now let’s not make the viewer wait too long for your response.”

“I would never. Okay, well, I love spending a fair amount of time sleeping, especially when it’s dark, like at…” You paused to check the time on the bedside clock. “Two fifty-six a.m.”

“Are you sassing the viewers, Y/N?”

“Sorry. Wait, why am I apologizing—whatever. In my free time, I like to listen to music or dance. That’s basically it.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Not really, but I suppose I’ll have to. I mostly listen and dance to whatever songs are popular at the moment. I guess I sing along too, but I’m not the best.”

“How did you get into these hobbies?”

You hesitated. “Yugyeom, you know how.”

Yugyeom wasn’t going to budge until you answered, so you sighed and carried on. “I used to have a friend that wanted to be an idol, so he’d practice dance a lot. Eventually, I grew interested in the things he was doing and joined him for fun.”

You could’ve stopped there. You should’ve stopped there, but instead, you kept on speaking. “Those times were the happiest moments of my younger years. The good old days, am I right? But they didn’t last very long. My family suddenly packed up and moved across the globe to follow a job opportunity for my mom. Before we left, I’d wanted to meet him one more time, but I never got a chance to, and I… I haven’t seen him since.”

“Do you miss him?” Yugyeom softly asked after some hesitation.

“No.”

Even more quietly, he replied, “That’s a gigantic lie.”

Neither person filled the long silence that followed.

“Sorry, I have to hang up now,” you said abruptly and ended the call as quickly as you could.

⁂

“It’s been a while.” Yugyeom sounded somewhat disappointed.

“Yeah. I’m… sorry for what happened last time.”

You could hear the frown in Yugyeom’s voice. “It’s fine.”

Suddenly his frown was gone, replaced by the usual irksome cheeriness. “Anyway, you actually called me this time! And you’ve been complaining about me waking you up in the middle of the night—now look who’s awake at three in the morning.”

“Couldn’t sleep,” you muttered—a half-truth. You had been fast asleep until around two-thirty, when you had suddenly woken up and hadn’t been able to go back to sleep, and you knew exactly why.

“Is that so?”

“Dammit, Yugyeom, your careless calls have caused my formerly perfect sleep schedule to shatter into fragments of shallow, unfulfilling rest that will fail to sustain me throughout the following day and leave me feeling constantly tired, only to have me suffer through the cycle all over again. Out of every one of your phone contacts, you chose to call the only person in a different timezone than South Korea. Something’s not right here.”

Yugyeom just laughed. “Not my fault you moved.”

“Since you stopped in the middle of the Q&A, shall we resume from where we left off?”

You thought for a moment. “Nah. Let’s do something different. How about I ask you stuff?”

“What kind of show has the guest interview the host?” Yugyeom believed this to be a preposterous idea, but you were adamant in your suggestion to the point where he relented.

“Fine, but this is one-time thing,” he said, just to be extra sure that you knew. “Ask away.”

“Question number one! Why’d you start calling instead of texting?”

“Because you’re so slow at replying, it’s like snail mail.”

“C’mon, I’m not that slow, I usually reply within the week,” you protested. When Yugyeom didn’t respond, you slowly admitted, “Okay, maybe I am. Understandable.”

“And ‘cuz I wanted to hear your voice,” he added.

“Unfortunately, the feeling is not mutual. Question number two: What are your true intentions?”

“Huh?”

You suppressed a scoff. “Don’t play dumb with me, Gyeom. What’s the reason for all this? Suddenly calling, making up a game show and asking insightful questions, turning serious at random times. Not gonna lie, you’re acting pretty shady.”

Yugyeom sighed. “I guess I’ve been caught.”

“Darn right you have. Now fess up.”

“I’m gonna be really honest…” Yugyeom said, which you highly doubted would be the case. Nonetheless, you were dying of curiosity. Finally, on the fourth episode of The Early Morning Show with Kim Yugyeom, the solution to the ongoing mystery would be revealed and you’d maybe have a chance to fix your sleeping schedule.

He cleared his throat but made no attempt to speak.

“Hello?” you asked. “Don’t leave me on a cliffhanger.”

When Yugyeom finally spoke, his voice was an embarrassed whisper.

“Y/N, I think I love you.”

⁂

Of all things, you blurted out, “Hey, I was right.”

Yugyeom probably hadn’t expected such a reaction, judging by the amount of time it took him to say “Huh?”

“I knew you weren’t gonna be honest,” you said.

“But I’m being serious—”

You cut him off with your laugh. “C’mon, Gyeom, don’t lie. You don’t think you love me, you know you love me.”

“For some reason, I don’t feel like I’m being taken seriously here,” he muttered.

“Oh, I highly disagree. I’m just trying not to show that I’m freaking out by acting confident and hoping that pretending will do any good. Same as what you’ve been doing.”

“Huh? Was it that obvious?”

You quashed any hope left in Yugyeom by saying, “Very.”

“What? How?!” he exclaimed.

“You checked that I held you in high regard before attempting to confess but chickened out at least once. Of course, that was a hunch so I didn’t say anything, but I guess I was right.”

“Not exactly. You just kept hanging up before I got around to doing it,” Yugyeom insisted.

“Sure.”

“It’s the truth, I swear! Anyway, what did you mean when you said you were freaking out? Is… is that a bad thing?”

“Ah. Nooo?” You dragged out the words as long as you could.

“So you feel the same way?”

To admit how you felt embarrassed you so much, but you managed to push out a “Maybe…”

“Okay, Y/N…” You could only suspect that Yugyeom’s nerves were getting to him once more.

He tried again. “Y/N, I have one more question for you. Your answer will single-handedly determine the fate of The Early Morning Show with Kim Yugyeom. Are you ready?”

Steeling yourself, you replied, “Yeah.”

With a near-booming voice, Yugyeom proclaimed, “Last question: Do you love me?”

In an instant, all of your brazenness vanished. “Changed my mind. I’m not ready.”

“Oh, too bad. 53 seconds left.”

“What, I’m on a time limit?”

“Yes. Kiki, do you love me?”

You answered through clenched teeth. “It’s too early in the morning for this crap.”

“40 seconds,” Yugyeom sang.

This time limit made for a really stressful situation under which to decide the fate of this early morning show. That, and the fact that Yugyeom had just confessed his feelings for you.

“30 seconds!”

Alarms were going off in your head. What do you do when your best friend of four years professes his love to you? But more importantly, would you be able to reciprocate those feelings?

Then suddenly, a thought hit you:

Are you stupid, Y/N?!

He was the one who always noticed when something was wrong, and he was the one you could turn to for comfort even when he and you were continents apart. For four years, he was your favourite person to talk to, even if the conversation never ran deeper than daily anecdotes and funny happenings. He’d come up with a make-believe show to mask how he wanted to try and get to know you better. What else could you ask for from a guy?

“15 seconds.”

Yet all you’d done was repay him with your true feelings hidden behind cold words. Somehow, though, he’d survived the Ice Age. Maybe it was time for a new era. Perhaps, you thought, it was time for another episode of the show, with the same special guest as always.

“10—”

“I love you, Yugyeom.”

And thus, it was decided that The Early Morning Show with Kim Yugyeom would go on.