Write something that someone told you about yourself that you never forgot.

I know this old and I think about from time to time. I guess sort of like a reminder of how my life was in the past and how it is now. I'm not sure how to explain it really. But I'll try my best. 

When I was in Jr. High, about 8th grade, I was going through a hard time because of my parents divorce, my sister had gotten kicked out creating more tension around me. 

Anyways, I was in school one day and I started talking to this guy whom, I had known for a while. We never spoke much until this one time for class because we had it together and at the time, the teacher was putting assigned seating so we could get used to seating with other people who weren't are friends. So for me, I'm quiet don't talk much unless I was reading or answering questions. The guys started talking to me and we wanted to know more about why I looked sad and stuff. 

At first, I didn't want to give him much info that might hurt me later.. but I don't know. I started talking to him more and more and we made me smile, laugh and I guess I started to like him but not really. I was just needing some attention because of how I was. Depressed. We ended up changing numbers and I would call him all the time and we would talk and stuff and then one day.............he just stopped talking to me. 

He didn't talk to me in class. 

The teacher changed our seating arragments again. So I was in the back by myself with two other guys I knew but I didn't talk to them much. As for the guy, he ignored me and I never knew why. So me... being me.. I wrote him a letter and told another friend of mine to pass it for me. She did and later that day, she didn't know how to tell me the news of what he had told her.. 

He read the note and gave it back to her. 

His words were... "She got too clingy and wouldn't leave me alone... so I had to ignore her..." 

Clingy.

CLINGY.

I became clingy to him.....

At first, I didn't see it in myself. I really didn't. I was 15. 

But as I stayed away from him like he wanted. I always put up a poker face around some people to keep to myself. I did eventually notice that I was CLINGY... I ended up losing a few friends.. who I thought were friends and in the end I knew that trust is always broken. I just didn't understand why I came on a till strong and wanted attention? I guess its because at home, my dad and I were fine and talking but we were hurting because of what we were going through. 

As I call it... Bad memories for me. 

So there you have it. Something that someone said to me.. that I'll never forget was "CLINGY" 

Why? Because a year later, the same patterned happened. I was really close to another person and he cut me off and it was like I came to fault again. It also happened around the same month as I lost the other person. I felt at that moment maybe something was wrong with me. Why did I become like that? Why? If I was, I should be just home and away from everyone. 

That's when my depression started and wished for everything to go away. 

That was my bad experience for the one word I was reminded. I still think of it and try not to be clingy now around those I'm with. But then when I'm not around people wonder where I am and want me around. So I feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong now than I was back then? I don't know... seems confusing. 

- - - - - 

Now that I wrote about the bad.... let me tell you something good. 

I can't really remember when I was told this.. but my aunt told it to me. I don't hear it often from anyone else. 

One day we were talking and she told me words that touched my heart. 

She said.. "You're a kind person with a good heart. Someone like you shouldn't be taken advantage of.. You help out your family a lot and they love you. You are also a hard worker because people see it here (when I was working.) If your parents saw you working.. they should be very porud of you. Because I know I am. Your heart is speical..." 

At first, I thought she was just being nice but when she told me the same thing again but from another person, I was surprised and I enjoyed hearing those words. I never got to hear those words from my parents. Kind of sad... I know. But I mean I shine in my own way and others can see it. 

I've also seen it in myself when I work and some co-workers see how much I put into my job and they enjoy my friendship. I've noticed that I get along better with those a bit older than me and enjoy my company. I CAN'T say it wasn't like that when I was younger because I felt lost while being in my teenage years. I sometimes want to go back and change it but we know that's not possible. 

I just have it as blurred memory.... and to forget... its better isn't it? 

Maybe not... but I just remember the good and not the bad to balance myself out. 

A/N: There you have it... Day Two. It's not edited.. and if I have typos, I know some is understandable. I know its only my second one.. but this really makes me think.. lol