Numb. That was all Taehyung could feel. Like the ice-cold hands of reality had torn through his chest, clutched his heart and was slowly beginning to spread the numbness through every vein in his body. Until he could feel nothing at all.

He turned away from her in a trance, his chest aching with every breath it took, his mind whirling with the new information it had been fed, scrambling to piece it all together.

It all made sense now. The sudden surge of warriors that had come to Taehyung’s aid on the battlefield. The dramatic shift in the tide of the battle within the past few days. Their unexpected win over an army double their initial size and strength. It was no miracle. It was the result of an alliance. An alliance Taehyung had been completely oblivious to.

All around him, their army celebrated, drinking, laughing, cheering, dancing and feasting. His eyes caught short glimpses of them but, soon, they only became a blur of colours and shapes to his unfocused eyes. He knew they were cheering, but he could not hear anything other than his own heart beating loudly in his ears. Had his body been this exhausted a few moments ago? Why could he only now feel every scrape, every bruise on his body so potently?

For a split second, his gaze landed on his own group of friends as they chattered cheerfully and basked in each others presence. And he could not help but feel a stab of envy at the happy reunion they were allowed to have. The happy ending they had been granted while Taehyung and Chaeyoung’s future crumbled right before them.

The world spun around him more and more with every heavy step he took away from her. He needed to think. He needed to force himself to understand. He needed to breathe. And he could not do any of those things with her so near. Turning away when she was already so miserable crushed his heart into a thousand pieces, but he feared that one more look into those pained, glistening eyes would be the certain death of him.

“Tae, wait,” she pleaded, and he could hear her hurried footsteps before she reached out to grab one of his cold, numb hands, “please give me a chance to explain.”

He froze at her touch, his body welcoming it like it needed it more than anything else in the world in that moment. His eyes drifted shut, absorbing the pain that seered through him upon hearing the crack in her voice. The way her fingers trembled. How uncertain her touch had become. As if he would ever possess the power to reject it.

Perhaps, given the time and the space he could force himself to smother the pain in a deep recess of his heart, but knowing that she was experiencing the exact same emotions made it infinitely harder. He could handle tragedies, he had been dealt a series of them in his lifetime, but her sadness was something he could never endure.

“Please,” she whispered again, and Taehyung did not have to turn around to know she was crying again.

But he did turn around. With a deep breath, he pushed aside all instincts within him to run, to hide, to protect himself, so that maybe, just maybe, he could ease some of the pain residing behind those dark eyes he loved so much.

He did not meet her gaze. He was not strong enough for that. But he did manage a silent nod. That was all she needed. Immediately, her fingers tightened around his and she turned around, leading him towards one of the large tents in the corner of the camp.

She sat him down on a wooden bench in the center of the tent before pulling up another stool and sitting directly in front of him. Her hands twitched towards his for a brief second and he could almost see the internal battle she fought with herself as she tried to decide whether or not to hold his hand. After a few seconds, though, she thought better of it and dropped both her hands onto her lap, clasping them tightly together. Still unable to look into her eyes, Taehyung kept his gaze carefully trained on those hands.

After releasing a deep breath, she began.

“I am so sorry Taehyung,” she exhaled shakily, “I never ever meant to break your trust, and it was certainly never my intention to cause you any more pain than you have already endured for my sake. But so much transpired during this war. Unexpected attacks, heartbreaking losses, things we never anticipated.”

She was beginning to play with her fingers anxiously and Taehyung stared at them in a confusing mixture of empathy and longing. His hands itched to calm the nervousness in hers, but he couldn’t. Because they were no longer his hands to hold.

“Only a few days after you left for the western base, I received news that Lisa had been captured by Jaehyun and his family. They had attacked her while she fought in the south and then took her back to their northern palace. It was a strategic move. They knew how important she was to me. That I would do anything to save her. And unfortunately, the only thing they wanted was the throne. God, Taehyung, I tried to offer them anything else I possibly could. I even told them I was already betrothed but they could not be stopped. And as they held a sword to Lisa’s neck, I had no choice but to accept their terms.”

Anger boiled through Taehyung’s system like a raging volcano. His eyes hardened and his jaw clenched. The Jungs had used Chaeyoung’s love and turned it into a weakness – something they could benefit from. They had stripped her of her freedom and forced her to make an impossibly painful decision. One that had evidently killed her spirit.

“When you proposed to me, I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. For once, I allowed myself to hope. That maybe there would finally be a light at the end of the dark tunnel that has been our lives. Because it didn’t make sense. Why would the universe cross our paths only to rip us apart from each other at the end?

“Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I should have stayed away when you told me to. Maybe that would have made this all hurt a little less.”

Taehyung sighed, blinking back the wetness behind his eyes when he witnessed the tear drops falling on her hands. And he could no longer restrain himself.

He reached out and grasped her hands, effectively ceasing their fumbling. For a moment they simply sat there, both of them drowning under the weight of the words they weren’t saying.

“Tae,” she finally breathed, another tear soaking their hands, “say something, please. Your silence is deafening.”

Taehyung opened his mouth and then shut it again repeatedly, his mind too exhausted to form the right words.

“What do you want me to say? What can I possibly say to describe the sea of emotions I am drowning in with every tear you shed? How do I describe the unendurable pain that is crushing my chest right now?” he finally asked in a quiet voice.

She dipped her head and sobbed silently, her quivering chest causing his own eyes to burn.

“I am so sorry, Tae, hurting you is the worst thing I could ever do and it seems like I somehow manage to do it all the time.”

“It’s not your fault,” he murmured, finally raising his gaze to meet hers as he brushed her tears away with one of his thumb, “you did what you had to do. What a queen would do.”

“But I don’t want to be a queen,” she shook her head adamantly, her vulnerable eyes piercing his, “not if it means I lose you in the process.”

“I don’t think the world cares what we want, Chaeyoung. We don’t always have the luxury to choose who we are or who we want to become in this life. Sometimes our paths are chosen for us before we can even begin to discover what it is we truly want.”

dropped open at that, every word piercing her expression with more and more devastation. The pain was so palpable on her expression that he hated himself for saying any of it.

He could no longer handle the heartbreak. Could not bear seeing her like this. Could not endure another moment suffocating under her tortured gaze.

Anger, pure and vengeful, suddenly overpowered all other emotions as he longed to bring justice to the one that had invoked such suffering in her. There was no way he would allow Jaehyun to win so easily. He would fight for her till his last dying breath no matter the consequences. After all, he had nothing left to lose.

Taehyung jumped to his feet, his expression dark and his fists clenched furiously by his sides.

“Wait, Tae, where are you going?” Chaeyoung scrambled to chase after him as he stormed out of the tent within a few short seconds.

Before she could even register what was happening, Taehyung was already searching the camp with a murderous glint in his eyes. Like a tiger hunting for its prey. It did not take long to spot him, sitting around a campfire, laughing and eating with several soldiers celebrating by his side.

Taehyung did not hesitate to rush towards him, cracking his knuckles and neck briefly as he stormed towards the man who had destroyed their future.

Chaeyoung, finally understanding Taehyung’s intentions, reached out to grab his arm hastily, “no Taehyung, don’t. All of these soldiers are his, they will have you surrounded within seconds. And you’re already injured –“

“I don’t care.”

“They will kill you,” she cried, panic rising to her voice as she tried, once again, to hold him back.

He finally stopped and turned towards her slowly.

“There are worse things than death, Chaeyoung,” he said softly, gently removing her hand from his arm, “living a life without you is one of them.”

Before she had time to react, he swivelled around and closed the distance between himself and Jaehyun. And before Jaehyun had the chance to react, Taehyung swung his fist across his face with a deafening smack that reverberated through the camp. Jaehyun stumbled off his seat from the impact, barely having time to regain his balance before Taehyung had pounced on him again. He was only able to land a few more blows before Jaehyun recovered and began to properly defend himself.

And just as Chaeyoung had predicted, Jaehyun’s soldiers had pryed Taehyung off him within the next few seconds. Jaehyun rubbed his jaw in irritation, his eyes furious as he met Taehyung’s vicious, hateful glare. Taehyung fought against the tight hold of the six soldiers that held him back, writhing and attacking with any part of his body he could. Meanwhile, Chaeyoung stepped in between the two men who were milliseconds away from engaging in a full-on battle, her hands pressed against Taehyung’s chest to restrain him.

“You ing bastard, who the hell do you think you are to do this to her?” Taehyung sneered at Jaehyun, tilting his head around Chaeyoung’s body to throw him a hateful glance, “kidnapping her closest companion, forcing a taken woman into an unhappy marriage, have you no human decency?”

“And you?” Jaehyun snapped back, pushing past Chaeyoung to grab Taehyung by the collar, “seducing a princess, proposing to a woman way out of your league, and defiling her before marriage? And you dare speak to me about human decency?”

“Defile? That was my own choice,” Chaeyoung snapped, swivelling around to address Jaehyun furiously, “unlike this marriage.”

By then, Taehyung had freed himself from the clutches of Jaehyun’s soldiers and flung himself at the other man, instantly tackling him down to the ground. But before he could inflict any more damage, dozens of soldiers came to his aid, prying Taehyung’s body away and beginning to attack him from all sides.

He could feel the exhaustion of the war finally accumulating and claiming his consciousness. But he could not give up. He wanted to fight. To make Jaehyun feel even a smidge of the pain Chaeyoung felt. Each blow – to Taehyung’s face, his ribs, his gut, his legs – resonated through him numbly. He fought to stand up after each one, determined to keep pushing forward. Desperate to hold on.

But there were too many of them. The attacks kept coming. Until the world around him began to blur and dark spots began to invade his vision. Until he could no longer physically keep his eyes open. And only when he finally fell to the ground in defeat did the pain finally end.