*5 years ago*

    The phone rang loudly, interrupting the two adults in the bathroom. Namjoon rushed to the kitchen and grabbed the phone off the hook, pressing it to his ear.

    “Hello, Kim Namjoon. Who is this?” He rushed out, breathing deeply to calm his heart. He could hear Minha in the bathroom throwing up, and he winced at the state she was in.

    “Yes, this is Dr. Kim calling from the hospital. We have the results from Choi Minha’s urine and blood tests. We would like to see her immediately to discuss the results,” Dr. Kim said, voice heavy with what Namjoon could only assume to be worry.

    “O-of course. We’ll be right over, but she isn’t doing too well. She’s throwing up and has a fever, I was about to get her ready when you called.”

    “Very well. Get her to my office and we’ll examine her and the baby. Thank you.” Dr. Kim quickly hung up and Namjoon rushed back to Minha’s side, using a wet rag to wipe her face.

    “The doctor called, they have the results for your tests. He wants to see us immediately,” Namjoon whispered, helping Minha into their bedroom. “How are you feeling?”

    Minha sighed and pulled on a clean dress and leggings, clinging to Namjoon’s arm for support. “I feel like absolute crap and like I’m about to pop any minute now. I can’t believe I have another two months still.”

    “We can get through this, don’t worry. Doctor Kim is going to help us,” he promised, helping Minha in the car before rushing to the hospital. She squeezed his hand tight, forcing herself to take slow, deep breaths. “We’re gonna figure out what’s wrong, and we’ll get through this.”

*~*

    “You have preeclampsia. It’s not a common problem we see in pregnancies here, and it has a very high risk in birth complications,” Dr. Kim explained, holding the charts for Minha’s tests.

    “Wh-what does that mean? What can we do to treat it? Will the baby be okay? And Minha?” Namjoon shot a million questions at the doctor, while Minha sat on the table in silence. All she could think about was her plans for the baby’s future, making sure Namjoon could take care of their baby the right way.

    “Minha has continuous high blood pressure even though she is an extremely healthy young lady and a condition known as proteinuria. Proteinuria is when there is a presence of protein in her urine. There is currently no cure for preeclampsia, I’m sorry,” the doctor apologized.

    “What does this mean for her and the baby?” Namjoon’s heart sunk into the pit of his stomach, and tears brimmed his big eyes.

    “There’s a high risk of death for Minha. If she doesn’t, it could lead to , kidney and liver failures, fluid in the lungs, seizures. It is recommended to just let this disease take its course, and pray for the best. It may also lead to premature birth, but you are at seven months right now, so the chance of an early birth may be lower,” he sighed.

    Namjoon fell silent, at a loss for words.

    “I suggest you two talk this over, thank you for coming in today. I am deeply sorry for this,” Doctor Kim said. “The nurse will be in to help you check out.” He silently walked out, closing the door behind him.

    “Minha…? Are you ready to go…?” Namjoon finally spoke up, gently taking her small hand in his. The pregnant woman nodded and slowly slid off the table, following Namjoon and the nurse out.

    The ride back home was silent, save for the radio playing quietly in the background. The couple walked into their house and let their puppy, Monie, out of her cage. She bound happily to Minha’s side, her fingers when she sat on the couch.

    “Joonie? Hun, come here,” she called, patting the couch seat next to her. Said male walked over and slumped next to her, laying his head in her lap. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

    “I’m scared. I’m so scared about this… I can’t lose you, Minha. There has to be something we can do to fight this. I-I love you so much,” he confessed, teary eyes meeting gentle ones.

    “I love you too, Namjoon. You are better than anything I have ever wished for in my entire life. You have given me more than I could ever imagine. But, I don’t think we should try fighting this. I want you to give our baby the best life possible. I know you can do it, so please, do it for me. This baby needs his father, and you need this baby. I’ll be okay. I promise I’ll still be here, in your heart. Forever,” she whispered, brushing the blonde strands back from Namjoon’s forehead.

    He sat up quickly so he could look her in the eye. “Minha, I can’t let you do this. I-I can’t lose you. If you go, then I’ll go with you. Minha, please, I need you…” His voice cracked on the last word and tears finally fell, dropping onto their intertwined fingers. “We can always try again for another baby.”

    “Namjoon, please… You need to listen to me. You knew how risky this pregnancy was when we found out I was pregnant. You know how long and how hard we tried. We’re lucky that we have this baby. There’s not another chance, this is our only one. So I need you to promise me that you’ll give this baby the best life possible. Please, Namjoon… This baby’s life is far more important than mine. I’ve lived my best life with you, now you need to let this baby live his,” she pleaded, one hand still intertwined with Namjoon’s while the other cupped his cheek and wiped his tears away.

    Namjoon was silent again for a few minutes. He knew Minha was right, but he spent years trying to get the girl of his dreams to fall for him, and it finally happened and now she’s being taken away from him. They had their whole future planned. He was going to propose to her on the beach at sunset as they took a horseback ride. They would wed back home in Ilsan in his father’s backyard. The white flowers would just be blooming, making everything look bright and beautiful.

    “Joonie, say something…”

    “I… I don’t know if I can, b-but… I’ll try. Minha, I promise you I will try my damned hardest to make sure he’s okay…” He forced back sobs as he brushed a strand of Minha’s hair behind her ear and pulled her so their foreheads were resting together.

    “I promise, that I will never leave your heart. As long as you don’t forget about me, I will always be in here..” Her delicate hand rested on top of the soft cotton shirt Namjoon wore, and she could feel the pounding of his heart under her fingertips.

    “I could never forget you or your beauty, ever, Minha. I swear on it.” Soft lips pressed to Minha’s in the softest kiss before he dried their tears. “We have about two months. You just started your seventh month. How about you make a bucket list of things you’ve always wanted to do, and we’ll complete them to the best of our abilities.”

    Minha giggled and nodded, pecking Namjoon’s lips again. “That sounds amazing. I love you.”

    “I love you too Minha. More than anything.”

*~*

    Three weeks had passed since the devastating appointment, and Namjoon and Minha had just returned home from lunch with Yoongi and Hoseok out on the water. Minha had grown up on the seaside, and had wanted to have one last meal on the water she grew up near, so Namjoon had driven the four of them to the river where they had lunch on the ferry.

    Namjoon was downstairs feeding Monie when Minha let out a loud scream of pain, followed by the sound of something hitting the floor.

    “Namjoon! My water just broke!” She screamed, staring at the jewelry box now shattered on the floor in front of her. Seconds later, Namjoon appeared in front of her with a pair of slip-on shoes and was helping her into them.

    “Are you positive, Minha? The baby isn’t due for another month and a half,” he frowned, rushing to pick up the pieces of the box.

    “I wouldn’t be standing in a puddle of my own bodily fluids if my water didn’t just break, now would I?” She snapped, a wave of contractions hitting, causing her to scream in pain.

    “, , , . Um, get you to the car. Right, yes.” He rushed back to her side and carefully guided her to their car, where he quickly laid towels on the seat to keep it from getting ruined before rushing back inside and coming out with their overnight hospital bags.

    “Just drive, Namjoon! Dammit!” She sobbed, squeezing the armrest of the seat in a death grip.

    “Okay. Um, I just, okay. Driving.” He quickly backed out of their driveway, nearly taking their mailbox with them as he fumbled for his phone to call the hospital and let them know they were on their way. “Just breathe baby, it’s gonna be okay.”

    “Don’t tell me to ing breathe, Namjoon! If you kept your in your pants, we wouldn’t be in this situation!” Namjoon knew Minha was only raging because she was in pain, so he kept quiet and focused on driving.

    Half an hour later, she was situated in the hospital bed, the same doctor that had delivered the news scrubbed in to help deliver.

    “Alright, Minha, I need you to breathe in deep, count to ten, and then push, okay? Just relax, and follow my voice. Breathe deeply and count to ten,” Doctor Kim instructed, standing between Minha’s raised legs. She nodded and concentrated on her breathing, holding tight to Namjoon’s hand.

    “You’re doing great sweetie, keep going,” Namjoon whispered, wiping the sweat beading on her forehead.

    She momentarily paused to kiss Namjoon and take a breather before returning to pushing, her muscles contracting tightly, making her scream in pain.

    “God, I hate you so much Namjoon,” she sobbed, resting her head on his shoulder.

    “I know baby, I know. I’m sorry,” he replied, keeping his eyes away from her lower regions. He had heard about the males fainting, and he really didn’t want to be in that situation.

    Minha spent another hour pushing, finally collapsing into the sweat-soaked sheets at the sound of her baby’s cries filling the room. The doctors and nurses moved quickly to clean the baby and Namjoon got to cut the cord, grinning widely at his girlfriend.

    “What is it?” She whispered, smiling up at Namjoon.

    “Congratulations, it’s a boy,” the doctor said, handing the bundle of blue to Minha. She let the tears fall as she cradled her baby close, kissing his eyes, nose, and lips softly.

    “Doctor Kim, her blood pressure is plummeting,” a nurse called, checking the heart machine Minha was hooked up to. He rushed over and took the baby from Minha, who had quickly fallen pale and looked like she was struggling to breathe.

    “No! Minha no! You can’t go! Please!” Namjoon screamed, rushing to her side. “Please Minha! You can’t!”

    “Take care… of him… O-of Jungkook… I love you…” She gasped, eyes closing at her heart monitor flat lined.

    “NO!” He screamed, dropping to his knees next to her bed. “P-please, Minha… I love you… D-don’t go…” He sobbed, clutching to her hand.

    “Time of death, 5:43 pm. Get the baby to NICU right away.” Doctor Kim signed off on Minha’s charts and the baby’s paperwork, slipping both into their respective files. “Can I have a word with you, Namjoon?” Said male nodded and slowly stood up, choking back sobs as he followed the doctor into the hall.

    “I am deeply sorry for your loss, Namjoon. I know I haven’t had the chance to get to know you and Minha during this pregnancy, having just taken over for Doctor Lee a few months ago, but I know you two were deeply in love and ready for anything. Minha is in a better place, I promise that. And she would want you to care for your son as if she was still around. We do have therapists that specialize in postnatal depression if you feel like talking to someone may help you. Obviously, your case is a bit different than the mothers who suffer from depression after giving birth, but they are always there to help. Here’s their card if you change your mind.” Doctor Kim slipped a small business card into Namjoon’s palm, patting his shoulder. “Jungkook needs you. Don’t give up on him now. He’s also being moved to the NICU, ask one of the nurses at the desk and they’ll be able to give you a badge.”

    Namjoon nodded and stumbled to the waiting room, collapsing in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs. A few lone soon-to-be fathers and family members sat around, some anxiously tapping their feet, one was sipping hot coffee.

    “New father? I remember my first born. It’s not easy, let me tell you. We’re waiting for our third,” one man spoke up, leaning back in his seat. He seemed the most relaxed in the room. “Jung Daehyun.”

    “K-Kim Namjoon…” He replied, taking a tissue from the man. “Your wife is having your third? Aren’t you allowed back?”

    Daehyun chuckled. “No, she’s our surrogate. My husband, Youngjae, is back with her. I went back with our first child, Jongup. Then we adopted our second, Baekhyun. And now it’s his turn to go back. It’s a boy, we’re gonna name him Jaebum. How about you? Is your wife still back?”

    Namjoon stiffened slightly. “No… No, she uh… She didn’t make it…”

    Daehyun’s mouth fell open in shock, instantly regretting opening his mouth. “I-I’m sorry… I didn’t realize… That was so stupid of me to say, I apologize. I-is the baby…?”

    “No, he’s fine, I think? He was born prematurely, they took him to NICU… I’m waiting on a couple friends actually…”

    “Of course, of course. I’m really sorry for your loss… Hey, if you ever need advice, let me know. I’m available as long as my kids didn’t flush my phone,” Daehyun chuckled, writing his name and number on a scrap of paper before handing it to Namjoon. “I put Youngjae’s on there as well, in case you can’t reach me.”

    Namjoon nodded and looked up when he heard someone shouting his name. “Namjoon! Oh my God, Namjoon, I am so sorry!” Hoseok ran into the waiting room and nearly tackled the male in a hug, sobbing into Namjoon’s neck as he practically squeezed the life out of him.

    “Hey, thank you for coming,” he whispered, not trusting his voice as he started crying again. Daehyun stood awkwardly to the side before he saw his nurse walk into the room, and he pat Namjoon on the back before disappearing.

    “Come on, let’s move the sob circle somewhere else so we don’t freak out the dads waiting for their news,” Yoongi sighed, gently tugging the younger two to the front lobby.

    “Where’s the baby?” Hoseok asked a few minutes later, wiping his eyes with a tissue.

    “NICU. Gotta go to the desk and find out where he is, then they’ll give me a badge to use to see him,” Namjoon explained, leaning into Hoseok’s side.

    “Okay. Let’s go do that then. I know you’re dying to see him,” Yoongi smiled, tugging his best friend to the front desk. They quickly got the information and followed the nurse, stopping just outside the room the babies were kept in.

    “There he is…” Hoseok whispered, face squished against the glass window as he peered down at the baby boy in the bassinet.

    “Jungkook. Kim Jungkook,” Namjoon whispered, the corners of his mouth twitching into a small smile.

    “He’s so small.”

    “Yeah, like Yoongi.”

    *smack*

    “Ow! Yoongi!”

    “You deserved it, Hoseok. Not my fault I was born short.”

    “Alright, you two. That’s enough.”

a/n hi please don't kill me. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's a flashback to when Minha (oh I gave her a name) gave birth to Kook. he was born prematurely, at 7 and a half months. I don't know anything about pregnancies and I'm not a doctor so don't quote me on any of the information in this chapter. I tried. And I apologize for anyone's tears. That is all.