cont.

“We should break up.” Wendy said in a weak voice as she wipes her tears. She was firm even if her knees felt weak. Chanyeol was shocked. He didn’t comprehend well the words, “break…up?” his heart broke. He was in disbelief, he had never truly loved a girl wholeheartedly. “I know I don’t deserve you but not like this.” Wendy replied “Chanyeol”, she held his hands tightly, “I love you... but this has been hard for me. We need time to find ourselves and focus on our career.” Chanyeol was trembling while hearing this, he pulled her into a hug. “I love you more than you can imagine but if this is hard for you, I will let you go. I am so sorry for being a jerk but always remember, I love you Son Seungwan.” He said while he kissed her lips, one last time. He didn’t want it to be that last time. She was crying again, she loved him but the break-up was not for her. She realized that Chanyeol needs time to be alone. She doesn’t want to be a hindrance to his career as she focus also on hers. She also thought of their fans, of the people around them.

“If that what makes your heart at ease, then I will do.” Chanyeol said as he left while crying. She went back to her dorm and cried her heart out. She can't bear to see him in that state. She didn’t want to do this but she wants him to be happier as he rediscovers himself. She thought maybe Chanyeol preferred the partying out and maybe she was really boring for her or she was just unsure. She was scared. Red Velvet members were worried but they didn’t ask anything. Good thing there was no schedule for that day so they decided to leave her alone since she wanted that whenever she’s sad about something but it was just too much of a something. She realized she decided to let Park Chanyeol go. She heard a knock, it was Irene, “We’ll not ask you what happened but please do eat. We’ll leave your food here and go buy some stuff, take .”

She was not okay. He was not. Both decided to tell their members while they didn’t explain much about it. They just said, “We broke up,” and decided to move on by focusing on their careers. No member from both groups dared to ask why. It was obvious no third party was the reason. They thought Wendy and Chanyeol were head over heels for each other and they were a perfect match. He coped up with songwriting, making music, playing bowling, intensely practicing dancing every hour of the day. She was doing the same things plus baking and was exhausting herself with practicing too especially in dancing. Chanyeol even tried baking even if it reminds him of Wendy especially when they were baking together. He gives baked goodies even to their managers and staff like how she does it. He didn’t want to forget Wendy, she can never be replaced in his heart. He wants their relationship to remain as a good memory as he said, he can never love another person wholeheartedly. It was and will always be her.

“You don’t need to be that hard on yourself.” Seulgi said as she gives bottled water to Wendy after a run of rehearsal. “It’s okay, I’m fine. You’re all good, I should not be weakest both in visuals and dancing.” She joked but Seulgi was concerned. “Wendy-ah, you’re a great artist. You should not degrade yourself.” Wendy hugged her, “I’m really fine. I was just joking. Thank you Seulgi for being with me ever since.” Seulgi patted her back, “You’ve worked hard and you’ll get through this.” She didn’t want to forget him too. She just wants the best for him, she thought that this would be the best for the both of them.

“More, let’s play more.” Chanyeol said as he scored the highest while playing bowling with Baekhyun. “I mean we have been playing for 14 hours Yeol. We should go home, we still have a practice tomorrow.” Baekhyun sighed as he replied. “Okay then. You can go ahead, I’m okay. I can manage.” Baekhyun nodded and with a worried expression, “Ok, I’ll go ahead but I don’t want you to tire yourself out. Take care of yourself too. Please go home after another round of playing.” Chanyeol nodded with a smile.

Wendy and Chanyeol were really good in hiding their feelings even during public events. They pretended that nothing happen and were just merely bowing to each other at year-end awards. They were smiling but their eyes were longing for each other. He was doing great, EXO was winning awards and representing Korea globally while Red Velvet was slaying with their “Perfect Velvet” album being able to pull off concepts well. Both were able to put on smiles on their faces for their fans. It’s because they genuinely love their fans and also their members, their families.

She loved him and hated herself for letting him go. She hated that he did let go, maybe he deserves someone better. He loved her and hated himself for letting her go. He hated that she did let go but she really deserves someone better.

They still loved each other but maybe, being apart was a good choice, maybe.

i love and hate you

all at the same time

i hate you as much as i loved you

it was a lie when i said it was okay

telling myself that i knew

if i only could hate you

but i just can’t stop loving you

Song: Love and Hate by BoA