[To those who don't know ^ That's what Brian Joo looks like in this chapter]

 

'Every day I just can't control~. Every night the loneliness, my love~. Eh..Eh..Eh.. So beast (In the cube!)'

 

After they left, Yong Jinkyong started dancing to the upbeat electronic beats of SHOCK, as she opened her eyes to show an intense glare while the rap started to echo but in her mind, flashbacks briefly appeared.

 

'Can't breathe, like freeze, my body's getting stiff like ice (Why! Why!)'

 

As the heavy snow slowly piled up on top of the girl's body, she saw her blood mixed in with the fallen snowflakes that came from her cut open palm. Her arms lost feeling as now all that there was is her consciousness.

 

'Hey dear, stay here, I'm going blind (Why Why!)

 

The girl managed to fight back some of life after leaving for a minute when now the snow had frozen her completely yet she still had the strength to look through frost blocking all sight which covered her open eyes . But as she surrendered to the cold, she left with one word: "Why?"

 

'No way losing my way, why are you drifting away?'

 

She wasn't completely dead as her mind helped by trapping her in a dream as the girl stood in a white blouse dress covered in icicle trails going down her arms & legs too. Gentle winds blew dust in her face as she squinted, trying to reach out for the familiar figure in the distance.

 

'I don't want to get hurt, but what can I do with my love struck heart?'

 

"No! Don't leave! I love you too much to let you go!" The girl started to run with her arm still trying to grab the dark looking person from behind but the dust made it difficult as she tripped. While she let fresh tears fall, desperately grabbing at the sand, there was a single plain arrow in her back.

 

Jinkyong swung her arm as she spun like a hurricane before beginning to follow the moves of the current singer but her eyes now resembled what her name meant, glistening like the ocean.

 

'I can't hear anything right now. I can't see any light as well. This has happened after losing you, I can't grab a hold of anything.'

 

The floor underneath her suddenly became a quicksand pit then turned into a bottomless pit as the girl didn't scream but kept crying as she madly swung her hands around, hoping to search for something to stop her from falling down the soundless pitch black hole that never seemed to end.

 

'It's coming to a stop, It's coming to an end. A part of me disappears as well.'

 

Slowly, starting from the center of her chest, the girl began to fade away like sprinkles of light as they also fell farther down than her. She screamed after noticing it too late as already there was a gaping hole that could fit a person through was showing on her body.

 

'I realized after closing my eyes, you are starting to fade in to nothing.'

 

Now dropping quietly while laying on her back, she didn't care as the hole grew bigger the more she fell away as sparkles of light. Glancing back up at the way she fell in, the girl saw the same figure she couldn't catch now looking down the hole but white light engulfed everything.

 

There was a pitter pat as her tears landed while she was in the still position before the chorus, eyes slightly red and blotchy after rubbing them as she started up again, more strength this time.

 

'Every day I shock (SHOCK!) Every night I shock (SHOCK!) I'm sorry I just want to find you again. Every day I shock (SHOCK!) Every night I shock (SHOCK!) Don't go because I am in this much pain oh!'

 

One whoosh of warm air filled her chilled lungs as she cracked open her stiff eyes but not able to see things clearly still. Yet when the girl turned her head not enough for someone to notice, a figure she recognized to be a guy was holding her hand with his head in the blankets. 

 

Her eyesight was blurry but in her partial consciousness, the girl saw brown hair, a black hoodie sweater and a ring on the right index finger that matched 'his'. "Where did you go, huh? You left me with sliced, stabbed and shattered heart."  

 

Her breath started to disappear again as she tried to smile but her muscles were aching so as a final gesture, she twitched the hand he was holding and as the girl went back to unconsciousness, the boy looked up.

 

'Come to me oh oh oh tonight so so crazy! Come back back back to me! (I'm waiting you you!) Oh oh oh tonight so so crazy! I am really going to lose it, heartbreak my shock!'

 

Jinkyong was now trembling throughout her whole body but it was unnoticeable as she payed too much attention at showing power in her dance moves making the ground shaking a bit.

 

'Hey ya, wake up! When I regain my focus you're no longer here.'

 

Blinking her eyes, she opened her eyes halfway just to see the boy that left her. The girl smiled as she opened to say his name but her vision returned just then as it wasn't who she wanted. It was him, and he was teary eyed and seeming joyful.

 

'Oh lalalalalala, now you're laughing like a crazy person.'

 

He stood right in front of her, he was only inches away, but when she tried to take him back, he was suddenly some place else much farther than before. She witnessed him smile then going into a chuckle before belting out a chorus of loud, insane haha's, making her spring up in her bed.

 

'I'm struggling every day against the clashing waves of loneliness'

 

"Hey, you. Hey, your senior is talking to you, raise your head. Did you do something wrong?"

 

Three girls in their high school uniforms surrounded her as she had already been beaten up to the state where her clothes were dirty, her hands and lower legs were a red mess and her face turning purple near the corners of .

 

"Of course she did something wrong. This had our prince wrapped around her little finger this whole time, and now that she doesn't need her dog, she sent him away to Japan!"

 

The short, black&brown haired girl gave her a slap across a reddened cheek that made her hair cover her face again. This was the tenth time this year but since she gave them any response, they kept abusing her during lunch breaks or after school.

 

"HEY! LISTEN TO ME, ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING?!"

 

The lead girl, a long haired blonde, grab her by her new shoulder length brown hair by the scalp and yanked till her face was close to the blonde's and visible.

 

"A hooker like you shouldn't even be able to go to school, much less Anyang High School. Go back to the strip club you came from, you worthless trash!"

 

All three of them picked her up in certain places before tossing her down a stick covered hill, her body rolling all the way down to the bottom until she stopped propped up against the soccer goal post. Even after all that, her eyes never changed from their emotionless state.

 

'I can't (forget you) for the rest of my life.'

 

The boy that was at her hospital bedside took her to his own house since she now lived there for more than a month now as his second room was now hers. After he left, finishing up on bandaging and tending to her injuries, the girl looked over at the broken glass frame holding his picture.

 

Suddenly feeling a sudden need for oxygen, Jinkyong rushed to the window after pausing the CD, gasping for a long period before blowing air out slowly before restarting from where she stopped.

 

'If I knew it was this painful, I would have never lost you in the first place.'

 

Sitting up with the pillows against her back, she went through the same cycle that had been going on every night since that day. The girl hugged her blanket covered knees, letting her tears soak into the fabric as her shoulders shook.

 

'Oh come back to me one more time, my shouts disappear into the darkness.'

 

"RETURN TO MY SIDE ONCE MORE, PLEASE!" The girl yelled into the full moon night as she stood by the tree that had the carving from 4 years ago as it still had her blood smeared over it. She slowly fell into a kneeling position, clutching the pain in her heart that reappeared. "Please........."

 

'You, who stabbed my heart, I'm in pain every time I think of you.'

 

Her parents watched from the seats just like everyone else watching the Anyang High School graduation ceremony as she accepted her diploma and a plaque for staying in the top scores in all the years shes been here. The girl smiled happily as she looked at the crowd.

 

After handing all her stuff to her parents, she broke away to go visit the boys house again who was now her closest friend along with three others. But she didn't take more than ten steps before a hand grabbed her collar and pulled her behind a tree.

 

"Are you happy that you got out alive? You looked so smug standing up there, it's like you forgot all about your almighty Prince, the one that you happen to throw away like he was nothing."

 

It was the three girls again as they were back to see the ceremony just to bother her afterwards. But this time it was different as once she heard the word, it caused a sting in her heart.

 

"Still not talking to us? Hey don't you know something, even though we are officially out of this school doesn't mean we aren't older than you. Do I have to teach you the same lesson again?"

 

Keeping her head down the whole time, she felt the sting suddenly grow into the feeling of getting cut very deeply with every single word they said but her heartbeat in her ears were growing louder with each passing moment.

 

"Tsk, I guess your still a goody two shoes girl who's learned how to not talk to strangers. Let's fix that horrible habit shall we?"

 

The blonde brought a hand up for the hardest slap ever given but after the pain built up to a point, she suddenly grabbed the wrist tightly which caught the other three off guard.

 

"No, you look here." She felt something burning in her heart as she spoke, "You should watch your mouth because last time I checked, your not my seniors anymore." as it began to make her feel strangely good.

 

"What? Ha, this jerk thinks she is better than us. Come on, lets show her why she is just garbage!"

 

They came at her with fists and kicks but they were all reflected by her own then the tables turned as the blonde, black&brown and the pink haired girl started getting bruises all over their faces as she let go punch after punch.

 

After a few minutes, the three girls fled with nosebleeds, purple bruises and one was limping when they accidently missed and kicked a oak tree WAY too hard causing their ankle to twist.

 

She was breathing very hard as her bangs covered her eyes but her expression was blank until it slowly morphed into a smile which scarily became a content smirk.

 

'I'm here standing without moving, stop the time because I can't move on.'

 

Jinkyong seemed like she was in freeze frame as there was drips of black eyeliner in the drop of tears on the floor as she had stopped crying but her makeup was ruined. Despite that fact, she came into motion again as she showed ferocity while dancing to the chorus.

 

'Still in my dreams, I can't hear your voice or see it.'

 

The girl looked at her watch before lifting her head up to see her gang which included her best friend, giving him a quick handshake before a shoulder bump.

 

"So how have you been?" The boy asks as he wraps a arm around her shoulder in a friendly way since he knew what would happen if he went any farther than that.

 

"I'm fine, been getting those dreams again. I feel deaf and blind as usual, but it's OK. I've seen it so many times it's getting boring." There was no emotion in her voice but there was a smile showing.

 

"Don't worry about it too much. I'm worried for you, you know that right?" He sighed slightly before stepping closer to her, patting her back and then giving a small, soft arm hug. "He left us with a responsibility which I promised to upkeep until he returns."

 

"Yes, you've told me that many times now. I understand it clearly. If I ever need you, I'll just call." The girl smiled as they entered the CAFE but in her heart, there was no happiness existing.

 

'But, if you are happy after our break up, then it's ok for me to handle this pain.'

 

It's been 2 years since the painful incident as now the girl was 19 years old and at this time of month was the exact same as that heartbreaking day except this time the tree had crusted blood on it and she had already started dating a guy she used to hate but now found decent.

 

Her best friend has repeatedly warned her about her new so called boyfriend as he thought something was fishy since her current boyfriend was acting so nice to her when back then he was a complete stalker, but she ignored his warnings.

 

Who knew that mistake would cost her life....

 

Jinkyong popped to the techno beats before the final chorus until she leapt up higher than people would expect to while wearing 6 inch heel boots as she landed with barely a sound as now her moves resembled that of a fighter, every swing and kick was like a aimed hit.

 

'This song is not over, get SHOCK!'

 

As the final loud boom note struck the room creating a endless echo, she stumbled over to the CD player as she pressed eject, took out the disc but suddenly drop it as she collasped shaking against the boom speakers.

 

Jinkyong stared at her hands that were now uncontrollably trembling as she felt herself unable to stop them from moving as she gave up, dropping an arm on the ground as she catched her breath.

 

Soon she was back to normal as she didn't feel tired at all anymore but her fingers didn't stop twitching. At that moment, her pocket vibrated on the ground before slipping the phone out.

 

Looking at the screen, she couldn't help but let a happy smile spread along her lips then she pressed the new message notification as it popped up out of a little letter emoticon.

 

"Jinkyong~ah. What are you doing right now? I is currently resting after finishing our performance stage! Why don't you come for a visit, the boys want to really meet you! Reply me back :3 "

 

-from Hongki Oppa.

 

Jinkyong giggled at how childish his text was before she sent back her own response:

 

"Haha, I hope it went well! And yes I'll come, I was planning to visit you guys anyways. See you in ten minutes! -Jinkyong~"

 

Standing up normally, she skipped down the stairs before hopping into the passenger seat of her personalized van, taking a nap only to wake up inside the KBS broadcast building parking lot.

 

"Ang~!" Stretching while making a cute sound, she stepped off before skipping again up the stairs this time as she pushed open the door to the backstage area where all the idols were in the halls or in a waiting room.

 

"Jinkyong~ah!" She heard a familiar voice as she whipped her head with a bright smile on her face as she opened her arms to accept the hug from the black haired boy with a slight 8:2 part.

 

"Brian! How are you? I haven't seen you in ages! Just kidding, I saw you last week but it's still good to see you!" Brian Joo smiled after they broke the hug as he laughed at her joke.

 

"Same here, girl! Now what would you be doing here, isn't your debut set for later in two days?" He gave his usually questionable raise of his eyebrow as they conversed in english.

 

"Yes I know that, but you probably know who sent me a text message calling me here." Jinkyong nudged Brian while viewing the message as he laughed along with her since it was kinda obvious at this point. 

 

"Ah, then if your wondering where he is." He turned around to face the opposite direction as he pointed to the door second closest to where they were. "FT Island's waiting room is right there!"

 

"Thanks Brian! I hope to see you again. Oh and this time, it is gonna be on me, my treat!" Jinkyong left too fast before he could have a word of protest as she slightly tip toe jogged to the room.

 

Knocking like a maniac on the door, she speedily ran to hide on the side of the door where it opened as just then, Choi Minhwan, the drummer of the band, popped his little head out.

 

"Who is it~?" The youngest member of FT Island sticked his head out even more to glance around as he blinked, never did he expect Jinkyong to suddenly leap out from her hiding spot and put him in a headlock then giving a light noogie.

 

"W-w-what!? H-hey! Wait, who are you!? Ow!"

 

The other members all looked up from their places to see her drag him over to a couch to sit down but still headlocking and rubbing her knuckle softly on Minhwan's head who was waving his arms.

 

"Hey Jinkyong, you know you can let him go now." 

 

"Fine. You never let me have fun fooling around these days, Jonghun." She pouted to the leader of FT Island, Choi Jonghun who was busy reading a magazine on the table who replyed with a sly chuckle before flipping a page.

 

Minhwan reacted fast after he was released, moving as swift as a bird, he sprang off his seat to turn his head this way and that while shouting, "WHO, WHO WAS IT? WHERE?!"

 

Jinkyong gave a cute smile as she held up her hand with her palm spread wide open making the youngest member turn with a angry face but once he saw her, it became a flustered look.

 

"O-oh, hello Miss Jinkyong" Minhwan bowed deeply to give a polite apology even though he was four years her senior yet she was older than him but he did this regularly when he saw her.

 

"Minhwan, she's your junior and besides, she's told you many times that you don't have to be formal because she's a noona." Out of no where a blonde haired boy with it parting to the right suddenly grabbed a seat beside her as he looked at his fellow member.

 

"That's right! I think I'm the only one allowed to be close since we are same aged friends!" This time a cedar coloured boy with zig zag cutted hair ends sat down besider her and put an arm around her.

 

Jinkyong glanced to her right at bassist Lee Jaejin before switching to her left to look at main vocalist Lee Hongki, the very culprit who sent her that text as they both were smiling back at her.

 

Opening to answer, she didn't get a chance to answer as at this moment the door opened having the final member of FT Island waltz into the room after disappearing for some time.

 

"Seunghyun~goon!" Faster than anyones eye could see and almost immediately standing up off the couch, she ran towards the rhythm guitarist and second vocalist with a huge smile, giving him a warm friendly hug.

 

"Jinkyong! What are you doing here? Wait don't tell me, Hongki told you come visit us again?" Song Seunghyun patted her back  then stood back to see how well she was since the last time they met.

 

"You got that right, again!" She giggled lightly while placing a hand over until glancing over at the two members she left behind did she finally realize that they were both pouting cutely.

 

"Aw, don't worry, I love you guys too" Jinkyong's sudden words caused the two of their faces to suddenly become bright and happy again as their giddy smiles returned to they're former glory.

 

The door swung open a second time, "FT Island, please make your way to the backstage area for the interview along with B2ST and Brian Joo." as a KBS Music Bank employee with a headset on announced it loudly into the room then leaving faster than they came.

 

"Yes, coming." Jonghun placed his magazine down before walking out along with Minhwan, Jaejin and Seunghyun but Jinkyong followed them as she and Hongki lagged behind the group.

 

When the rest of the members went in the backstage room, the lead vocalist stayed outside with her as they were about to say goodbye until she brought up a personal question for both of them.

 

"How's Hyunki doing?" Jinkyong again felt her face smiling but inside there wasn't a hint of glee but Hongki knew this all too well since they have been best friends even way before he had debuted.

 

"He's doing very well and he's enjoying his job as a professional photographer. In fact, you might get to see him some day, I heard he got a job offer to work for Cosmopolitan." Hongki smiled caringly as he lightly caressed her head.

 

Her happiness returned at his kindness as she looked up at him then stood on her tip toes or the very end of her boots, holding his shoulders to help balance, as she whispered into his right ear.

 

"Thanks for being my second best friend all these years in place of him."

 

Hongki showed his usual cheeky grin, "No problem, I would do anything for a friend of mine." but as he opened his eyes to glance to his left, his smile gone immediately and he automatically stiffened.

 

Jinkyong felt him suddenly freeze up in place as she tilted her head while still showing joy as she wondered what made him like this until she followed his line of sight, her expression dieing once she saw the black haired boy standing six feet away from them.

 

Yong Junhyung, the only person she didn't want to see, was watching them hold hands.......

 

Song is B2ST - Shock Japanese Version 

(Personally, I like this version than the original, Idk why)