dancing daisy

3928 and counting by cutetani66

Posted by: dancingdaisy • request info — Last Edited: 13/03/2016

Author: cutetani66

Story Title: 3928 and counting

Main Personas: Lee Donghae, Lee Hyukjae

Story Genres: Realistic Fiction, Romance

Story Status: Completed

Story (projected) Length: One-shot

Story Description: It has been nine years and Donghae is still keeping a count of kisses they have shared. Hyukjae is still unaware of that little fact. 

Reviewer: hwayoung31

Comments: I’m a huge EunHae fan myself , looking forward to more work from you, keep going and Fighting!

Story Title (5/5)

Posted by: DANCINGDAISY • grading — Last Edited: 13/03/2016

I really liked the fact their shared kisses reached that combination of numbers and still going on. The title was very relevant to the story and the ideas you wanted to convey and so it was a good choice.

Description and Foreword (5/10)

Posted by: dancingdaisy • grading— Last Edited: 13/03/2016

The description was simple and straightforward. 
However you mentioned as a genre “ An overdose of cavity inducing sweetness and romance set in the idol world” I didn’t seem to find a lot of the romantic stuff I had expected and overdose of sweetness mentioned.
The foreword was just you venting out your emotions as to how simple pictures inspired you to jot this one shot down (typical  fangirl feel hehe)

Appearance (9/10)

Posted by: dancingdaisy • grading — Last Edited: 13/03/2016

• Poster and Background (4/5)

No poster was used but the pictures you added and Gifs gave out a cute and lively feel to your story, and as to your background the simple infinity with love hints to the never ending love of EUNHAE.

• Font-size and Readability (5/5)

I didn’t find any trouble with it.

Plot Development (33/40)

Posted by: dancingdaisy • grading — Last Edited: 13/03/2016

• Originality (10/10)

since I didn’t come across a similar idea or theme as yours
I really admired how you made the members know a secret about Donghae one after the other and that some even helped not unveiling them.

• Setting, Theme and Mood of the story (15/20)

It was like a diary entry and you made us a part of it by mentioning the confessions done and the involvement of the other members even the addition of hyukjae’s mother was very cute.

• Consistency and Flow (8/10)

It was consistent not too fast or too slow just the right amount of flow, ideas were organized and laid out in a very natural manner , however it lacked some emotions or emphasis may be describing how each diary entry felt would add more fluffy feel to it other than that i found it cute and funny.

Character Development (9/15)

Posted by: dancingdaisy • grading — Last Edited: 13/03/2016

• Point of View Used (3/5)

You used the 3rd pov and I found it interesting but at the same time , the delivery of how things were lacked . You got me curious of how both the main characters felt in detail.
You did mention the emotions  how Donghae felt yet they seemed not enough to get through the amount of sweetness you wanted to convey. As for Hyukjae I was very intrigued you did mention that he is more of an action person than talking so maybe 
e.g. describing a little about how their dates went. Adding the little gestures both did and shared would make this story more lovelier than it already is.

• Evolution of the Characters (6/10)

part from Donghae being overly in love was made obvious and how much he cares the character remained the same because hyukjae character still remains a mystery throughout the whole story.

Grammar and Writing Style (10/15)

Posted by: dancingdaisy • grading— Last Edited: 13/03/2016

• Grammatical Errors (4/5)

There are evident ones I’m very sure you are aware of and would be able to correct them on your own.

• Choice of words and use of language (6/10)

I really liked the vocabulary used it is obvious you like learning as you write to try to convey the ideas and feelings you have in the closest manner to the image in your head.
My only comment is that the paragraph division could be improved and I see potential from you.

General Evaluation / Over-all Enjoyment (3/5)

Posted by: dancingdaisy • grading— Last Edited: 13/03/2016

I definitely enjoyed some points mentioned in your story as well as the whole concept of diary entries and counting the most memorable moments they shared.
With improvements and more fresh ideas like these you’ll shine even more.

I hope this simple review doesn’t put you down instead make way for more improvements and personally your eunhae feels really hits roof you can write masterpieces with that alone with some thoughts and time :)

Total Grade (74/100)

Posted by: dancingdaisy • grading — Last Edited: 13/03/2016

► 74%

Thank you for requesting! Do request again! It was a pleasure to review your story, it definitely has a great potential.

Please reread the rules and regulations! And don’t forget to credit us and leave a feedback! (not just a 'picked up. thank you.')
Upvotes are absolutely welcomed! c;

Sorry for the delay!! The reviewer (hwayoung31) actually had this drafted up on mar 5 but as I was really busy with my exams and had a little short hiatus, I wasn't online and couldn't update ;c Sincere apologies to cutetani66 for the long wait! - dancingdaisy

AFFILIATES: 001 // 002 // 003 // 004 // 005 // Credit