The morning light trickled in through the sheer curtain. It streamed in like flamboyant guests, not waiting for an invitation nor an open door. The soft rays cast square onto the marbled floor, reflecting onto several objects in the room which decorated it otherwise simplicity. 

Slowly and reluctantly, Seungri uncovers his face. The air had grown slightly warm as he felt it through his uncovered skins. He blinked few times in an attempt to help his eyes adjust to the brightness of the room and when he's about to move, he feels an arm settled closely around his waist. 

Seungri looked back and saw Jiyong still sleeping so soundly beside him. Carefully, he rolled onto his side so that he could see Jiyong's face.

In sleep, Jiyong's features were much more softer. The lines that usually creased his brows were already replaced by the youthful appearance that matched those of their age. His chest rises and falls in accordance with slow, shallow breaths. He looked peaceful, and honestly, Seungri wished that Jiyong wouldn't wake up anytime soon because, in sleep, those horrible thoughts won't bother him.

He brushed over the Veela's mussed hairs, admiring how soft it feels through his fingers. He had never bothered to acknowledge this before but now, it occurred to him that Jiyong's hair is really soft, and touching it reminds him of a Samoyed dog's fur. It's was lush and thick but still so silky to the touch. But even so, Jiyong would always trim his hair to make it look thinner and then, the Veela would put some hair products to make it look less fluffy and more professional but Seungri quietly thought that it's a waste.  It would be great if he just let it grow the way he would look less intimidating. Seungri thought, if Jiyong had this look when he claimed him that day, Seungri might've taken his time to consider. 

"Owww," comes a weak groan and Seungri quickly pulls his hand back as if it's burning. He was  too deep in his own thought that he didn't realize that his fingers has caught up in the tangle of Jiyong's hairs.

"Uh...sorry," he said when Jiyong's eyes crack open. He watch in embarrassment as Jiyong slowly rubbed his head. It must sting, Seungri thought but decide not to do anything since it'll make things more awkward than it already is. "Did I wake you up?" He asks instead, but feel more stupider afterward at the obvious question. 

"It's okay. I need to wake up afterall," Jiyong said with one of his stupid, adorable smiles. "But I do hope that it'll be less painful the next time you wake me up."  He continued, and his grins grew even more wider when he notice how Seungri began to blush. "A kiss on the lips, might be less painful... perhaps."

Jiyong counted seconds until Seungri push himself up and threw a pillow to his face, and he laughed when his mate did. "Shut up," Seungri retorted. Jiyong catch the pillow and set it to the side. After a while, his laugh slowly died down, and then it's gone. Just like that, everything went quiet. 

Seungri watched as the Veela rolled on his back, rubbing his tired eyes with the heels of his palm. He noticed how both of Jiyong's eyes were a bit swollen and then, there's this profound sadness, fatigue engraved on the Veela's face. 

Jiyong looked so worn that it seems like his old self had been dowsed with cold water. As if the laugh earlier doesn't mean anything. He's not used to this 'Jiyong', it unnerved him. He wanted Jiyong to give freely like he always does but now, it seems like he won't. Jiyong moved his hand more slowly, like they're heavy, like it's an effort to move when he don't want to.

"You're staring," Jiyong said. The Veela rolled over and lay his head on Seungri's laps. He reach for Seungri's hand and intertwine their fingers together. "Something on your mind?," he mumbled as he grazed his lips agaisnt his mate's knuckle. 

Silence slips in as Seungri felt Jiyong's lips moves on his skin. It was warm and soft. In seconds, jiyong pulls Seungri closer, sharing his heat as easily as he share his heart. Seungri used to thought that after Lucas, he would never let anyone come close to his heart, but Jiyong is so different. 

In life, Seungri had never known a person who always seem to have the right motivations, even when he's in wrong or distraught. There's a purity in Jiyong's mind, naivety perhaps. That Jiyong had always had more to give, even after he had lost so much. 

And the longer he stayed close with Jiyong's warmth, the tighter his chest start to feel.

"Seungri?"

Jiyong touched Seungri's face with his fingertips, and uncertainly, he looked down. The Veela plored at him with those pretty hazel eyes, those beautiful, sad, hazel eyes. "It's nothing," he said with a small smile in place. "How are you feeling today?". 

"Oh, right. Well... my eyes still feels sore."

"That much was obvious." He smiled when he wasn't sure what else should he said. He's not used to comforting people, and it wasn't a rare situation that he's still wasn't sure what to do with such information. 

"I guess so huh? It's just that... I don't know. Yesterday, it's been a really long day." 

"You can talk to me, if you want to," It was meant to be ligh - hearted, a way to get Jiyong a little more out of his mind and a little less...sad. Because that's what the Veela looked like at the moment. "But, if you aren't okay with talking about it yet, we don't have to."

"I mean...yeah, yes. It's okay, I guess. But I just... I don't want to a problem. You know?"

Guilt washes over Seungri's heart as he heard that. It's not the Veela's fault to think like that because his behavior doesn't exactly encourage Jiyong to open up to him. Setting that aside, Seungri hoped that it's not too late for him to change that yet. 

And, If there's any way Seungri could've guessed what Jiyong was thinking at that moment, it probably through his eyes. Jiyong's eyes were brilliant hazels, in every shades of pale and golden brown spreading out to a darker brown border. When he was jovial, they were warm, lovely and sparkled with mirth. When he was downcasts, they seems to grow dim and dark.

At that moment, it was the latter. 

"You had sacrificed so much for my sake," Seungri said, tentatively as if he's treading on thin ice. "So at least, at times like this, please let me do this much for you."

The conversation lulled to a stop, and for brief moment, Seungri wondered if he said too much or if he tried too hard. But the moment Jiyong nod, that one simple action took all his worries away.

"Okay," Jiyong said. His voice was so soft it's barely more than a whisper. "Thank you." 

"Yeah," Seungri smiled. He waited for Jiyong to talk and when he did, Seungri make sure that Jiyong knows that he's listening to every words.

"Yesterday...nuna was so upset that I didn't took her words. I guess she was used to me listening to her and didn't object to whatever she told me to do because she know best what is good and bad for me." Jiyong smiled tiredly. However the grin on his face dissapeared almost as quickly as it had come. "But how can she decide that if it's about my bond? Whether or not, I want to keep it, or with whom I decided to give my heart to...it's all for me to decide. No matter how hard, she just couldn't take that away from me." 

Jiyong was quiet for a moment and Seungri tried to think of something to say but he knows the best that all he can do for now is just listen. He run his fingers through Jiyong's hair and the Veela closed his eyes momentarily at the touch. "I've always know how much she loved me, and I know for fact what she do was just her wanting me to be happy but I just couldn't take it. Not the way she tried to manipulate you, or how she lied to you. It was too much but what can I do when she's my own sister?" 

Watching this all unfold made Seungri feel sick. He wished more than anything that he know what to do, that he's not part of the problem. "I'm sorry," he said as his hand stop caressing Jiyong's hair.

"Don't be," Jiyong grabbed his hand and pressed a soft kiss on the middle of his palm. "I act all mighty and high, saying that I would defend you and keep our bond safe but in reality, I couldn't do any of those. I let her hurt you and I can't change the way you felt about this bond." 

"What do you mean?" Seungri asked. "I thought, I've already told you -"

"I know," Jiyong cut in, stopping Seungri's word short. "I never blamed you or anything but I could feel it, you have no confidence in me or in this bond right?." Then, the Veela dragged himself up and for the first time, Seungri felt the distance between them. "I know I should've let you go...but I just can't."

Seungri's thought ran a mile in a minute. He did know what Jiyong meant by that, but there's this uncertainty that lingered in him. Long enough to make him doubt everything. That one voice at the back of his head that had kept on telling him that what So Hyung told him wasn't a lie, and that he don't deserve any of this. 

Jiyong was there, but he was looking so out of his reach and Seungri felt like his heart had constantly falling.

"Tell me," Jiyong said suddenly, and Seungri was taken back to the moment. "What else should I do to change your mind Seungri?" and the smile that Jiyong gave him was so soft. More of a careful upturn at the corners of his mouth and more than anything, Seungri hoped his feelings waren't written all over his face, or at least Jiyong wouldn't catch any of them but of course, he did. 

Jiyong always did... 

But the thing that a heart like Jiyong don't deserve is him, and all of his dumb insecurities. Jiyong's who's like the stars on the dull, dark skies and Jiyong, who he was finally sure he was losing his heart to. How was Seungri supposed to go and hurt him like that?

Seungri opened his mouth to say something, anything at all to comfort Jiyong, but he was so tongue - tied. The anxiety sat on his chest made it ridiculously hard to breathe. Unshed tears burned his eyes and - oh god, all of this is just so frustrating. He wanted to be there for Jiyong, but at the same time, he felt like he doesn't deserve it.

"I know things would probably be better if I listened to nuna," Jiyong said again. That was a lie. Maybe it would for Seungri, but he for sure knew he couldn't take it. "But I'm a coward... I could never let you go."

And Seungri tried, but he can never unheard the hurt that filled Jiyong's voice and the aching of it all gnawed at his insides. "It's not your fault Jiyong," he said finally and it felt like he was spiralling. Everything coming unhinged and all of it was so bad. "And everything that I told you last night wasn't a lie. There really isn't anyone else that I want to be with other than you but that was not a right decision." Seungri pulled in another shaky breath, still feeling so undone. "Because I've hurt you in so many ways and you deserve so much more than this Jiyong."

Seungri pressed the heel of his hand against one of his eyes. His head ached and this whole situation was just . "You deserve someone who's going to treat you like you hold the world inside your hands Jiyong," and then he swiped at his eyes, teardrops wetting his fingertips. "And I can't be that, I don't deserve it." I don't deserve you hung unspoken in the air, and that was it. Seungri came undone, all of the broken pieces of him falling apart, unglued. "You should've just let me go."

As soon as Seungri look at Jiyong's face, he regretted opening his mouth, because Jiyong looked so hurt. 

"Jiyong, I -"

"No," Jiyong cut him off, eyes staring into his own. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't deserve it,"  and oh,  the muscle in Seungri's jaw tensed, everything tensed. He had no right to feel so hurt by that, no right at all. Wasn't this what he hoped for so long? Wasn't he trying to push Jiyong away? wasn't he? He rubbed his eyes roughly, angry at the tears that seems to keep on falling. 

And then, after what felt like an internity, Jiyong touched his face and before he know it, the Veela kiss him on the lips. It was tear - filled and once they pulled away, Jiyong was staring at him. "But you do, can't you see that Seungri? You spend so much time trying to build your walls, acting like someone who isn't bothered by anything...but doesn't that get lonely?"

Yes. Seungri thought, Lonely like a crowded room, but he kept that thought buried deep in him. 

He tried to turn his face away, but Jiyong had his palm on his cheek. The red, tear - rimmed eyes were staring back at him. "You're so much more better than this. No matter what my sister said, or in what way she tried to convince me otherwise, I would always choose you, because I know you. The real you, and I care about the real you so much more than you will ever able to understand. Don't you get that? Seungri, love, I refuse to stop here just because you don't think that you're good enough for me, or whatever. You don't have to be good enough, you just have to be you. I wish you could see that."

And that hurt. Because even now, even after Seungri spent the whole time dismissing their bond as nothing but a burden, even after he took Jiyong's heart and tore it to pieces, even now Jiyong still saw the best in him. This had to be a fatal flaw. Jiyong was going to cut himself on Seungri's rough edges some day. 

Jiyong was quiet for only a moment, but it felt like years. "What had happened in the past doesn't matter anymore," he said. "I know everything you do was just you trying to protect yourself from getting hurt...and I can fight for this bond even if I lose everything, but I'm not strong enough to do it by myself Seungri."

Seungri didn't say anything and the truth is, he couldn't even look at Jiyong's face because when he do, he was just reminded of how much he'd hurt Jiyong. Reminded of every hurt expression that he'd caused over the past months of them being together...and it hurt so damn much. 

"Look at me, please," Jiyong put his finger under Seungri's chin and gently push his face upward. "You thought you didn't deserve all this?... I just think that you didn't give yourself enough credit," and Jiyong kissed his lips gently. "I've always love you. The way you tried to help everyone, especially when they doesn't deserve it. I love the way you pushed me out of my comfort zone, and how you teach me to see things differently than what it was. I love the sound of your voice, every scars and marks on your body. They remind me of how strong you are, to keep on fighting even when it seems almost impossible to fight. I love the way you smiled, your laugh, your eyes. I just... love everything about you, Lee Seungri."

Jiyong kissed his tears away and he rest their forehead together. Their faces was just couple of inches away from each other and the whole situation seemed far more intimate than it had right to be. Their eyes met each others, both heavy with emotions.

Seungri could feel it when he gazed into those beautiful hazel orbs, how Jiyong's emotions were so high that he can feel them leap back right into his eyes. It's like they are sparks ready to fly, even admist these sadness and it feels like Jiyong were making him, his ground to stand on. It's as if the usual scales of human emotion just don't apply to Jiyong. It can't be easy to be in that kind of mind, to live in it, to feel it but Jiyong is not him and Seungri finally thought, to hell with it all. He was so ing done, so completely and utterly done.

He was tired of hurting Jiyong

He was tired of running away

He was tired of it all. 

"Even if one day you change your mind," he said, and his mind was running so fast it was already too late to go back now. "You definitely can't forget what you said to me. You definitely couldn't take it back." With a little bit confidence in him, he shifted closer to Jiyong. He held Jiyong's hand and turn his head to the side so he could press his lips on Jiyong's palm. "I will stay, as long as you want me to."

"Do you mean that?" Jiyong asked and if his heart had stopped before, it was nothing compared to the way Seungri makes him feel at the moment. 

"Don't make me repeat it Jiyong," Jiyong was dumbstruck, absolutely dumbstruck. His heart literally jumped when he sees the lovely blush spreading across Seungri's face.

"No!," Jiyong cuts him off as he quickly. His face morphed from sadness to shock to the brightest smile Seungri had ever seen on him. "If you say that, I wouldn't dare to believe otherwise." and he mean that, but then, Jiyong want something firmer, something that he could tightly grasp on. "T-then, do you like me enough to give me a kiss?". 

Seungri flushed brightly at the request but he realized that he didn't hate those feelings anymore. That, at least make one thing clear to him that he really do likes Jiyong. The Veela seems to had grown on him, and he was at the beginning to get used to it. 

"Seungri," when Jiyong called his name, Seungri feels like every nerve in his body stood on end. 

They sit close enough that their face was so close with each other that he could easily land a kiss on Jiyong's lips if he wanted to, and oh did he want to. With his heart ringing in his ears, Seungri gently cupped Jiyong face and lightly pressed his lips on jiyong's. The kiss lingered just long enough for Jiyong to feel assured. 

"You...you do like me?" Jiyong asked once they parted, completely in awe. Lee Seungri liked him. And there was no second - guessing about it this time, no possibility that this was just a dream. This time, it was real. 

Seungri nodded, only once, a quick movement but enough to make Jiyong feels like he was soaring. 

*

Jiyong carefully stare into Seungri's eyes, with his thumb were grazing on the skins nearby. He had always thought that Seungri got the prettiest eyes he ever seen. They were deep, earthy brown - the color of the earth after torrential rains. But there was something else in it. They held secrets and yet, he can learn so much from it; he can love Seungri; he can help Seungri on his journey through life as he feels every raindrop and bite of winter wind. He can lead Seungri to the sunshine, show him new spring growth and nesting bird - prove to him that there is still enough warmth for his beating heart. 

But only if Seungri let him in. 

"You would really stay by my side right?". He can't help but to ask, even when he thought that he needed to stop talking. To stop demanding more and accept what Seungri had offered to him but god, he thought,  I needed you so much.Seungri nodded, and Jiyong already feel like he could give a world to this person. He put his finger on Seungri's chin, tilting up his face. 

*

Seungri was expecting Jiyong to kiss him again, but the Veela tilted his chin higher than that. Next thing he knew, Jiyong was leaning down toward his neck and then he felt Jiyong's lips pressed on his neck. There was nothing Seungri could do with the shivers that run through his body. Jiyong moved his lips along the length of his neck. The fingers on his chin moved down to his hips and then, Seungri felt the scrape of teeth gently pulling at his skin. 

Without thinking, he reached up to grip Jiyong's shoulder because he needed something to anchor himself on. And he was grateful for this anchor when Jiyong decided to his skin and close his lips around that spot and continue to . 

"," Seungri gasped. He leaned onto Jiyong's warmth, pratically pressing his neck on Jiyong's lips while Jiyong wrapped his arms around Seungri's back. He pushed Seungri further and eventually they ended up on the bed, with Jiyong hovering above him. 

The Veela press a soft kiss on his lips before he continue to run his mouth all over Seungri's neck. Seungri let out a breathy sigh whenever he felt Jiyong's tongue on his skins and the light bite of his teeth. Seungri felt his head swimming. He was completely focused on Jiyong's lips and the hand that keep on gripping his sweatshirt as if he's hanging on the last thread of his self control. 

Then, after what that had felt like an internity, Jiyong finally pulled away. Seungri was in daze when he caught Jiyong's eyes on him. 

*

"I've said this, and I'd said it again if you asked," Seungri said.  "Right now, the person I wanted to be with is you. Maybe I would have, if you'd been later in coming to lay your claim on me or if I hadn't had an escape plan to preoccupy me. But now, you see, I don't. Okay?"

And then he flicked Jiyong on the nose. He'd been so scared before, but when he said that to Jiyong, his chest feel more lighter than it was when he's holding the feelings in, and everytime Jiyong asked, he had become a little bit fearless. But when Jiyong didn't say anything, he had to ask, "You will believe in me right?". 

"Always," Jiyong said. It was more like he was sinking. But Seungri was there with him, and he had never felt so warm before. Jiyong smiled as leaned down and covered Seungri's lips with his own. He kissed him passionately, slowly holding down on Seungri's wrist. All he wanted is to feel Seungri. 

Kissing Seungri felt like everything. As soon as their lips touched, a spark ran down his body and Jiyong felt his entire being was burning as he moved their lips moved against each other. Seungri;s lips were soft and Jiyong knew that he could never grew tired of it. If Seungri let him, he could kiss it all day long and it felt more wonderful when Seungri kissed him back. 

"Thank you for giving me chance," Jiyong said as their lips parted. "I promised that I will never let you down."

 Seungri smiled at him and pulled and prodded across the bed until Jiyong was lying in another position that was evidently more comfortable for Seungri, from the way he immediately snuggled up against Jiyong's side."Thank you too for not giving up on me. I will try to open up more, and love you as much as you deserve Jiyong."

Lying with his wings half - crushed in this new and improbable position, his nose smashed against Seungri's shoulder, Seungri's arms uncomfortably tight around him...

Jiyong never wanted to be anywhere else.