for monet<3

***

Seungri waited until Jiyong left before he throw himself on the mattress. He cover his face with both of his palm, rubbing them on his face as he let out a long sigh. 'That was so ing close', he thought, laying on his back. He gather Jiyong's thick comforter in his arm and hug it close onto his chest. The problem inside his pants was gradually dissapearing right after he saw So Hyung's face earlier. It amazes him sometimes, how cold she is, that she didn't even blushed at the sight of them and also, not to mention, how irritating that she seemed so used of breaching other people privacy. He knews that she's Jiyong's brother but she should at least learn to knock the door. 

But still, if she didn't interrupt, he wonder how far he had already gone with Jiyong by now. Jiyong seems so serious and they would probably ended up finally doing 'that'. Seungri rolled to his side, pressing his face onto the comforter. His cheeks feels hot when he remembers how it felt to be touched by Jiyong, and to be kissed by him and how those light shone on him, how it makes him remember how it felt to be alive. Everything that Jiyong does had felt so good and he almost lost himself into those pleasure. 

Now he gets it, why people say being a mate to a Veela is a bless. If it's not him who had felt it, he wouldn't believe it. Jiyong is always so tender towards him, but this time, he wa so much more intense. The kiss, had been just so mind blowing.

He could still feels Jiyong's lips on his, and a hot demanding tongue in his mouth, and then the dull pain at his neck where Jiyong had bit him. He didn't believe he let it happen, and that, when his heart beats so fast when Jiyong touched him. He wouldn't dare to call that 'love' just yet because he don't want to make the same mistake as he does with Lucas. 

Lucas. Seungri felt like everything stops and start moving backwards when that name comes across his head space. It brings back memories and a reminder, of why he was so scared of loving something a little bit too much and why he was better off alone.

He knew that Jiyong and Lucas were different, he wouldn't even thought of comparing them both but still, it was so hard to not think of any possibilities that he might get his heart broken again, just because he decided to let his guard down and give his heart freely to someone else. It's so hard to not being sceptical when you had spent half of your life being abused, cheated and used that you don't know what to believe anymore. Seungri remembered it, loud and clear, how Jiyong asks him to tell him that he's in love with him too, but he couldn't. The first thing that come through his mind when Jiyong said that is words of rejection that he'd probably said if Jiyong didn't kiss him after that.

Seungri shakes his head and spread his arms wide, staring at the starry ceiling of Jiyong's bedroom. He tried and remembered all of the things that Jiyong had doen for his sake up until now and one of the many little things that Jiyong consider for him. Like the starry ceiling above his head. He once told Jiyong how much he liked it, and now almost everything in this room is changed and replaced, except for the ceiling. Jiyong let it be that way because he said he liked it. Seungri closes his eyes. He has to believe in Jiyong, after what the Veela done for him, he should at least stop being sceptical. 

* 

Jiyong closes the door behind his back and slowly leaned onto it. He can't help hunching down to his knees since his face can't stop the blushing and, the fact that he still have a bit of problem with that lower part of his body. He tries to calm down since he can't see So Hyung yet in that condition, but it's so hard when his mind can't stop playing those images of Seungri writhing beneath him, with his half lidded eyes and his swollen, red lips... and how Seungri's skins felt when he touched it. His laboured breath, and the way Seungri, with his usual cold demeanor, and his undifferent expression changed into that new Seungri just now, who's clinging on him like his life depend on him and his kisses.  Like Seungri really want him, and love him.

Jiyong felt his heart skip a beat at this. It seems almost impossible that he could fix their bond but now, it's really happening, that perhaps Seungri would accept him as his rightful Veela, that Seungri would want to keep this bond for a lifetime. A while ago, when they're indulging each other, he remembers how he could almost feel it. A flicker that shows him that their bond had come to life. Seungri was writhing beneath him, with his cries and a wriggling that let him know how much Seungri liked being with him, perhaps even without the bond.

It's is the right things to do. We both liked it, and at that time, we both could feel it. This, and what had happened just now between us isn't a misguided lust because Seungri wanted it too by the way he kept pulling me in, the way he returned all of my kisses.

Jiyong trace his fingers on his lips. Perhaps he should go back in and continue where they le--

"Jiyong?"

Jiyong lift his head up immediately when he heard So Hyung's voice. She was standing not far from him, staring at him warily.

"Are you alright?", She asked, and he nodded quickly. So Hyung looked upset that she dismissed her concern quickly. "Won't you come with me downstairs for a minute?"

Jiyong straighten himself up and walk towards the stairs, but then So Hyung turns around, "You seems like you need to freshen yourself up first. See me after you finish," she said, and glided down the stairs. His cheeks were flushed as he quickly walks towards the bathroom at the far end of the hallway. 

*

Jiyong finish everything quickly and head downstairs to meet So Hyung. He still had his head in the clouds, thinking about how beautiful Seungri is and about their progressing bonds. Months ago, he doesn't even dare to imagine himself kissing Seungri but now, it's happening and the happiness in him had keeps on overflowing. He couldn't help grinning like idiot at the thoughts of it. 

He stops by the mansion's living room entrance and stands there for a minute to regain his composure. He knows So Hyung would be happy to see him like this, but it would still embarassing to look like a highschool boy who just had his first kiss.

But it was hard, when every nerve and cells in his body prompted him to smile, both of his wings don't listen well too. They had keep on fluttering for quite a while now. At the end, Jiyong breathe deeply and leans back against the wall. He let the happiness in him soak right into his bones. Like the gentle sun rays in the morning, he felt the warmth spreading across his entire being. Jiyong closed his eyes and savoured the feelings. After a moment, he straighten himself and smoothed the crease and crinckle on his shirt and after a few more calming breathe, he walked into the living room where So Hyung was waiting for him.

"Nuna," he called as he approach his sister. So Hyung simply nodded to acknowledge him being there. There's something about this felt quite off but Jiyong quickly brushed it off. He wanted to tell his sister how far his bond is progressing, he wanted her to understand there's nothing to worry about anymore. More than anything, he wanted to share this happiness with So Hyung. 

He took a seat beside So Hyung and waited for her to talk. She didn't look pleased  but she play it off the way Jiyong knew best but she was his sister afterall. The way she would sometimes clench her jaw shows that she's really unhappy and now, Jiyong could guess what's the cause of it. Naturally, he tried to push down the happiness he felt a while ago and tried to match her mood.

"I've talked to father about your bond," She said, and Jiyong felt his heart drop at the mention of that man. He wanted to believe that So Hyung didn't go overboard and tell their father things that she shouldn't. He wanted to believe but this situation, and the fact that So Hyung even dare to bring someone to replace Seungri without his permission makes it hard for him to do so.

"What did you tell him?" He asked defensively. Paranoia dripping in his voice. 

So Hyung stares at him for a while, as if she's about to tell him off for using that accusing tone with her but then, she simply answered him. "I told him about your progress, about how you had found your mate and of course, I leaved out any information about the 'state' of it as I believe that it was your part to explain it to him. He want you to bring your mate back to the main estate and introduce him to everyone though, I personally not sure if you can do that anytime soon, considering the condition of your so called 'mate'." Jiyong notice the condescending tone in her voice, but he refuse to let emotions take the best of him but when she said the last words, he loses it. It's insulting.

"And who's fault you think that is?" Jiyong said, as he felt his ears getting hot. "Do you ever really listen to what I tell you before?" So Hyung didn't say anything but the way her shoulder tensed and the way her cheeks flushed shows it all but Jiyong were far too gone to stop now.  "Do you tell them about the girl you bring in? Does anyone knows about that little ritual you planned to do without my consent?" That kind of sudden anger was uneccessary and he had always tried his best to be soft and polite to So Hyung but it's getting too much. Especially when she had too often used her title as his sister to cross the line and intervene with his bond affairs and now insulting Seungri right in front of him.

"I did not mention any of that," So Hyung said, her voice cracking. "And only Seunghyun knews about the ritual and don't you dare telling me that I don't care -"

"If you care you won't do all that," Jiyong snap. "You wouldn't go to Seungri and feeds him bulls and lies about how he had abused me. You make him believe that he don't deserve to be with me. You almost makes him leave me when I was trying so hard to make him stays nuna!" 

Jiyong stopped when he realized that he had raised his voice towards So Hyung and he didn't do just that. He was standing with his muscle tensed and wings spread in a threatening manners. Silences fills in the space after that and So Hyung slowly rose up from where she sits. She held Jiyong's gaze as she come towards her brother.

"Don't. you. ever dare tells me that I don't care," So Hyung said, voice unpolished as lead. Her face was red with surpressed rage. "I was doing what I thought best for you. Do you think I'll just sit back and watch how he had hurt you. He don't deserve to this bond because he don't know how to cherish it. He's ignorant, selfish and deluded. Which part of this that you don't understand?!"

Jiyong clenched his fist so hard that his knuckle turns white and he gritted his teeth from his effort to remain silent. He stood there, and remind himself of who's standing in front of him now and from who those words comes from. If it's someone else, they would be dead by now. "You are doing what 'you' thought was best for me nuna," he said when he can find his human voice again. "You don't know anything about Seungri nor you ever truly pay attention to  what I really cared about. I hold my silences when you bring outsiders into this house. I didn't say anything when you lied to my mate but this is already too much! Do you think if I accept that girl, no matter how proper she was, how diligent, or whatever kind of noble family she comes from, all these problems will be solved? Listen to yourself when you talk sometimes. You sounds like a freaking lunatic "

Jiyong try to turn his back to her but before he could, she grab him by his shoulder and turn him around to face her again. So Hyung's eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold and hard. In that moment, Jiyong know he had gone too far. She's looking at him like how an enemy would.

"I don't ing care who's your mate is or where the hell they comes from," So Hyung said, her voice shaking. "But I care if they hurt you and he had done so much. I don't think telling him that he abused you was a lie because he did that, he treated you like you don't have feelings and what, he'd even humiliate you in front of of hundreds of people when you try to claim him. I don't know why the you're even still considering him Kwon Jiyong!"

Her voice rose above the silence. It's like a pandora boxes opened, sending each words full speed ahead to shatter his souls into million pieces. Jiyong stares at his sister, that all these times have been his rock and his only comfort even when Seungri himself had hurted him, slowly turned into a person he doesn't recognize anymore. The anger in him washed away like wave hits the wall and now when it all gone, it left him with dissapointment.

"Because he's my mate," He fought the words out, with the lump already forming at the back of his throat. His voice sounded weaker now, no longer laced with anger but a heavy dissapointment. "I fought hard for him, and I never give up all these times because you said that you'd believe in me. You said you'd always be happy for me. I am now, but why won't you accept us?"

"There is never 'us' in your relationship," So hyung said. Her voice was hard edged. "It's always been you fighting alone to keep him by your side but he had always ready to let you go," She walk closer to him until they're eyes to eyes. Jiyong could see her eyes glistening, smoldered by angry tears. "I dare you to tell me that wasn't true,"

"That's not true," Jiyong said, holding his ground. So Hyung then step back, shaking her head from dissapointment.

"You've always been so naive," she said. "Just because things are good now, you let yourself be used by him and refused to see the truth even when it's so clear in front of you,"

"He never used me for any reasons," Jiyong said, and even when it hurts to see the way So Hyung were looking at him with pitiful eyes, he refused to look away. Even as his shoulders heaved with emotion, unwilling to back down.

"Do you think that I don't know that he used you as a proxy to fight off his enemies?" So Hyung nudge at his chest and Jiyong stood there, accepting it. "You almost died that day because of him, because you wanted to defend a mate that would never consider you as their dominant, let alone love you. Is that the kind of person you want to be with? Enough to disregards my opinion as your sister? Was it really worth it Jiyong?"

"When was the times I ever disregards you nuna?" Jiyong stared at her, his eyes glazed with stubborn tears. There's no more anger now, just a complete frust and utter dissapointment filling his lungs. The person who he thought know him best, who he thought would trust him no matter what, had gone. Jiyong felt like his heart had been teared into two. "I had always listen to you but just for once, please have at least a little faith in me. What I did was to protect him, and he might not love me as much as I do now, but I believe that he will."

"A Veela never hoped for their mate to love them,they were loved naturally but yours is unnatural," So Hyung pressed her voice down. "If you want to keep on being stubborn, fine then. Go on, live in that fantasy world of yours."

After that he hears a rustle. So Hyung grabs her bags and left towards the mansion front door. A minutes after, he hears a sounds of car engine and after that, silences slips in.  Jiyong stoods there as still as a statue, unable to move and refuses to believe that So Hyung really left him and in that kind of anger, he doesn't even know if she's coming back. Seungri is his mate but So Hyung has always been his sister, the one that always look at him with kind eyes and now, when she decide to turn her back on him, Jiyong really wasn't sure how he's going to anchor himself to the ground if something happen.

And then, little by little, like a broken dam, tears burst forth, spilling down his face. The tears flowed unchecked down his cheeks and dripped from his chin and the sobs that were stiffled at first as he attempted to hide his grief, were overcome by the wave of his emotions... Jiyong breaks down entirely and all his defences washed away in those salty tears. 

*

Seungri watched the black Bentley drove out the mansion courtyard, passing the gate and finally dissapears behind the trees and bushes. He pulls his knees close onto his chest and lay his head on it. There's this dull pain in his chests for a while now and it makes him feels uneasy for some reasons. He prayed that nothing bad happened between Jiyong and his sister.

There's no denying it that he doesn't like So Hyung, but that was just because of their disagreement on certain things. However, he wouldn't want her relationship with Jiyong ruin because of him. Family, is afterall really important and he can tell how Jiyong were so dependent on her, especially on emotions side. He doesn't have anyone so he couldn't quite imagine how it felt to lose something so valueable but imagining losing either Youngbae or Daesung would probably closer to it. 

Seungri was debating with himself whether he should go downstairs and check on Jiyong, but then the door jingle and not long after, the said Veela walks in. Jiyong then quietly close the door and stood there, with his hand still on the knob. Both of his wings were slumped down and he was staring at the floor the entire time. Seungri's heart hurts even more when he sees this. 

He get down from the alcove and walks towards Jiyong. "Hey," he said as he put his hand on Jiyong's shoulder. When Jiyong didn't say anything, he took it as an okay sign to turn Jiyong's body around. 

As predicted, Jiyong looked more like a kicked puppy than a Veela. The sadness is evident on his face. His eyes were red, it still glazed with a glassy layer of tears and when Seungri tries to stare into it, Jiyong shifted his face to the side. His mouth was set into a semi - pouts. This make Seungri's heart felt really heavy.

He had never seen Jiyong cry before, even when he had hurt the Veela. Not that he was proud to admit that. Perhaps So Hyung was right all along when she pointed out his selfisness.Or perhaps, he was too busy thinking about himself that he choose to oversee that despite of being a Veela, Jiyong still have feelings. Jiyong was suffering all the time when he rejected their bond, and now when So Hyung left, perhaps he had reached his breaking point.

Seungri closes the remaining distance between them and hug Jiyong close. "It'll be okay," he whispered softly and feel stupid afterwards when he remember how he despises those words. Jiyong would hate to hear that too because things is obviously not okay but then, Jiyong hugs himm back and that took away half of his concerns. 

"Do you know," Seungri whispered as he continue drawing circle on Jiyong's back. The Veela was trembling as he tried to hold back his sobs. He kissed Jiyong's head softly, "when I sad, Youngbae hyung always come and cuddle with me,"

"Are you trying to make me jealous?" Jiyong said, as Seungri could make out from his trembling voice. He knows Jiyong try to joke as he no longer regards Youngbae as his rivals but then his voice sounded so sad that Seungri don't feel like smiling. 

"Come on," he said and then, he pulls Jiyong towards their bed and they slips under the thick comforter. Seungri makes sure the comforter covers Jiyong's body properly and only after that he wrap his arms around Jiyong's torso. He hugs the Veela close to him. 

Seungri heard a small sniffs when Jiyong buries his face in his chest. He was glad that he had changed into his fuzziest (in his opinion) pullover hoodie. With that, at least, he could make Jiyong feels comforted. If not much, a little bit would be enough. Jiyong didn't talk, only sometimes he heard a faint sniffles coming from the Veela and he let him be.

Their chests rising and then falling against each other, and slowly they breathe in unison. Seungri could feel the warmth in their embrace. He runs a slow fingers through Jiyong's lock, relishing how soft and silky it felt under his touch. Jiyong responds with his arms slowly encircle Seungri's waist and not long after that, his breath become even. No more sobbing, and Seungri sincerely hopes that Jiyong manage to fall asleep. At least, when he's asleep, he could forget this sadness, even if its for a while.

'Sad', and 'cry' sounds really childish, like something flimsy, something that one should be able to casts off with a happy smiles or tough exterior... but 'sad' was nothing of the sort. It sits inside like the germs seed of depression, just waiting for the right condition to send out root to choke your hopes out from your heart. It is a trough that we struggle to return to peak, always afraid that this time the rungs that we had to climb on would be too slippery, too far apart... and sometimes, simply not there at all. 

At times like this, Seungri never want to let Jiyong feels like he's all alone. Not this time when he's there to offer some comfort.

"You won't leave me, right Seungri?" Jiyong open his mouth after the long silence and Seungri had honestly thought that the Veela had fallen asleep. It took Seungri a while to process those words through his mind.

This is the worst, Seungri bite back a sigh. He had know this a long time ago, that he had become too detached of feelings that he no longer know how to react to certain things, or choosing the right words to say in situation like this. He don't want to run his mouth carelessly and ended up making promises that he couldn't kept but then, Jiyong needs him. 

He loosen his hold on Jiyong, and leveled his face down to meet with Jiyong's. The Veela were staring at his chin instead of his eyes, so he gently cups Jiyong's face with his palm. When Seungri at last get to look into Jiyong's eyes, all he sees was a picture of a loss. It was the face of one who had suffered before and didn't know if he could do it again. 

Then, when Seungri thought the breakthrough would come, Jiyong's emotion walled off behind mask of coping. The guilt hit Seungri like a wave. He knew well what that feels like. Seungri leaned forward and press his lips on Jiyong's forehead. He wanted to give Jiyong some sort of reassurement but he don't want to make false promises and he don't have enough confidence in himself to say that. 

"Can I kiss you, Jiyong?", he said before he could stop himself. Honestly, he feels it's a stupid things to say when it's an answer that Jiyong needed at that time. He wanted to apologize but decided not to, when Jiyong nodded. 

Seungri gently push Jiyong on his back, carefully enough not to crush his wings. He push himself up with his elbow, and use his right hand to reach Jiyong's face. Seungri caress the tears stained cheek softly. Their eyes met but it was hard to tell what Jiyong was thinking at that time and to him, it felt like Jiyong was just staring through him and to the walls behind them. 

He leaned down and kissed Jiyong eyes and then the tip of his nose, cheeks and finally lips.  It started with a series of gentle pecks, but Jiyong didn't respond to him and Seungri finds himself debating whether that was the right things to do when he, himself wasn't sure about his feelings towards the Veela. But then, if not this, he don't know what else he could offer to make Jiyong feels better.

He was bare. He done it without thinking and he knew that he could turn away, apologize and then pretend like nothing ever happened but that would only make both of them feel worst. He don't want that. Seungri realized, and regret it that since the beginning, it's always been Jiyong who comfort him and try to understand him while he did nothing for Jiyong. He wanted to comfort Jiyong now and there really wasn't any reasons good enough for him to back out now. 

Seungri moves his fingers and brushed over  few strands of the blonde hairs, lips hovering nearby. He open his eyes and saw Jiyong lift his hand, and then a moment later, the touch landed on his nape. It's warm, the hand brushing over his skin gently and move to grip his hair but then the hold felt insecure, wondering where to go from there. There was a small preasure, and Seungri leaned in. He kissed Jiyong a little bit longer, a little bit permanently and then he leaned back.

They stare at each other, and Jiyong lips began to tremble. His eyelashes brimmed heavily with tears, his jaw were clenced in desperate battle against grief. Seungri pulled Jiyong back into his arms, and held him closer.

Jiyong sobbed into his chest unceasingly, hand clutching at his shirt. Seungri held him in silence, rubbed the small of his back gently as Jiyong's tears soaked his chest. The pain must have comes in waves, minutes of sobbing broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths, before hurling him back into the outstretched arms of his grief. Seungri could assume that things didn't end in a good note with So Hyung and although he hate the idea of it, it's still undeniable that he's the one that caused it.

*

Jiyong awoke to a gentle hold and a soft snore. He look to his side and he sees Seungri sleeping peacefully besides him, with his arms about his neck and a leg a little bit on his thigh. Seungri breathes softly in his face. Carefully, he remove himself from his mate's arms and he push himself up, quietly so that he don't wake Seungri up. He don't mind getting tangled in sheet with Seungri. Honestly that would make him the happiest Veela alive but at that moment, he couldn't ignore the painful squeeze in his heart. Jiyong placed one hand on his chest, pressing on it, in an attempt to soothe the pain. 

He sits at the edge of their bed and stared out of the window. Right after the alcove where Seungri loves to sit, he could see the light coming in through the window. He shifted his eyes to it, to see the moon. Jiyong could remember, albeit faintly, the bedtime story about the moon that So Hyung told him when he's little. She had told him that the moon would stay with him, and provide him with company so that he wouldn't have to feels like he's alone. And it did, but that night, Jiyong feels everything and most of it is loneliness. 

The memories of what happened that evening shows up in his mind. He never had any arguments with So Hyung before and she was never that mad at him. The situation had left him so emotionally exhausted. He's not sure how can he fix it, or if he ever could. When she stormed off like that, leaving behind all those hurtful words she said to him, Jiyong was sure he lost even the glimpse of his loving sister. And what's more of this arguments was because of his bond. 

He hated the way So Hyung talked about Seungri but at the same time, he couldn't do anything much because even after that, So Hyung was still his sister. Someone who loved him dearly without judgement, someone who stood behind him even when things become so difficult. Someone whom would never grew tired of him, no matter what. He would not let Seungri go, but if what So Hyung said was right, that Seungri would never love him or accept him... wouldn't it be better to let go? 

But it will kill me to watch him go

But if he don't love you, holding him back is just the same as trapping him inside this loveless bond. He wouldn't be happy. 

But I love him. 

He doesn't consider you as his dominant. Let alone love you. 

The last voice come in as a scream inside his mind and it sounded like So Hyung's.

Jiyong ran his hand through his hairs, tugging on it tightly. He felt his head throbbing and he wished for it to just stop. Everything felt so wrong. Everything, from his heart to every nerve inside his body.  This feels a little bit too much. 

"Jiyong?" he turned his head and found Seungri staring at him through the dim lighted room. He was looking at him  warily, and when Seungri touched his hands... only then Jiyong realized how hard he'd been pulling on his hairs. 

The moment he saw Seungri, just like a switch , a single tear slid down from his eyes, followed by another one, and another one, until soon a steady streams of tears flowed it's way down his pale cheek. "Would it be better if we just stop?," he said before he could even stop himself.

"What are you talking about?" Seungri's voice sounded so small. And not in the way it usually was, not in the way when he's trying to prove his point right but it is in the way that I don't know you, the everything hurts like hell... and the way that says please don't do this. Jiyong caused that and knowing that, every fibre of his threadbare heart feels like burning. 

The guilt set in, and it was overwhelming and cutting and so damned deserved but he couldn't stop. "This bond, from the beginning until now... all it does was just hurting us Seungri. Would it be better to just stop fighting for it?".

Eventhough he tried, Seungri could never cover the hurt that filled his voice. It was a knive to Jiyong's heart, and he didn't even know it. Or maybe he did, maybe he always knew. "Why did you talk like that?"

"I don't know," Jiyong pressed the heels of his palm agaisnt his eyes and rubbed it until he could see the whole galaxy. Just the sound of Seungri's voice left Jiyong feelings shaterred, a mosaic of himself. "I can't make you love me if you don't, and I don't want you to feel trapped inside this bond. I just don't know what I shoud do anymore Seungri. Maybe it's time to just let go."

Jiyong dragged a hand over his face roughly, trying to stop the tears spilling down his face. Every single fiber of his threadbare heart felt like burning and there was silence, and for one terrified, heartbroken, shaky moment, Jiyong thought Seungri would agree with him. 

Jiyong couldn't feel anything, other than his broken heart and the tears spilling from his eyes. In that kind of silence, he really felt like that was the end of it all. And tomorrow, when Seungri left, he would lay there and wait for death to claim him. 

With only his sobs filling the room, Jiyong turned his back towards Seungri... but deep inside, he prayed, 

Don't leave me, he thought, hold me before I lose myself, please don't let this end here. 

Eventually, after a million years of sitting there in silence, he felt Seungri's hand on his back. Jiyong's heart shattered. I can't do this, I won't do this, I - Seungri pulled him into a hug, the ache in his chest was so overwhelming that it almost felt like he was never going to heal. 

Seungri's voice was baby blanket soft when he said, "You don't sound really convincing when you're bawling your eyes out like that, you know?" and then he ran a soft caress across Jiyong's hairs. "I don't know what So Hyung told you, but know this, in my heart right now, there's definately you in there."

Seungri pulled away and stare at Jiyong, and his eyes were so soft and careful that Jiyong had to look away. He was falling, always falling, the ground beneath him completely gone. Every fibre of him wanted to crumble, wanted to reach out and pull Seungri to him and never let go.

"Jiyong, look at me," Seungri said, holding his face between his warm hands. Reluctantly, he turned his face. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to be honest with you before but I wished you know, I like you...perhaps even before you fought Noah for me and just, after all you do for me, how could I not have even a slightest feelings for you." 

For a second, everything paused. Jiyong breathing slowed to a stop and the tears dripping down his cheeks came to a halt. "I know it's so selfish for me to ask you this but if you could wait for me a little bit more, when I'm confident enough, I'll definately catch up with your feelings toward me."

Jiyong closed his eyes when Seungri kiss on his forehead and when he open his eyes again, he felt his heart swelled as he saw the pretty blush on Seungri's cheeks. He slowly wrap his arms around Seungri's waist, slowly bringing him closer, close enough until Seungri was partically sitting on his lap. 

Jiyong rest his head on Seungri's shoulder. His lashes still b heavily with tears but it's something else now, no longer sadness. "I love you, okay?" Jiyong was sure he could hear just how loud his heart was beating. The thrum of it flooded through him. "I love you so much, I don't even think it's right to just call it love. My heart race everytime you smile at me, or when you laugh at something stupid I said. And it hurts, Seungri, it hurts so much because my heart keep on yearning for you. Every morning when I woke up besides you, I pray for nothing but you to love me back. I can't focus whenever I'm with you, because all I can think about is how much it's going to hurt when you leave," he took a breath before continuing. "I just love you so much," Jiyong confessed, looking into Seungri's eyes. Everything he'd just said had been one of the only times he'd been honest with Seungri, and he was finally glad he'd said it all. One string that binding his chest comes untied. 

The heart in Jiyong's chest was wild, a bird trying to escape its cage when Seungri didn't say anything. What if he said too much? What if it's too soon to say something like that? 

But then, when Seungri pressed his hand to his cheek, all of his doubts melts away. The touch was feather softm like he was barely even there. He said, "Are you done yet?" but it sounded like kiss me,  it sounded like I love you, it sounded like I hope you never leave.

Jiyong nodded, only once, a quick movement. He felt like he was floating, unmoored. "Yeah."

Seungri smiled then, soft, bright like the moon outside. "Good," he said. "Will you kiss me now? And oh. Jiyong's heart feels lighter than ever. He rested their foreheads together, in awe of the fact that Seungri would even allow him to be there, so close he could count the dark eyelashes that cast shadows over Seungri's cheeks. 

And he kissed him. 

It was a tears - filled and broken apart a seconds later, but it was so completely their's that it didn't even matter. The warmth that bloomed through Jiyong's chest was so overwhelming, a forest fire set free. He kissed Seungri again, a little deeper, because he could, and it wasn't as shaky this time. When he finally pulled away, it ached, a little voice sitting on the back of his mind, telling him all of this would be over when the morning comes. 

But then he caught Seungri's eyes, and there was acceptance and warmth reflected in them that Jiyong would have been a fool if he were to believe otherwise. 

"I love you," he said again, because the sound of it was intoxicating, and the sappy smile spread over Seungri's face made his heart melt. 

"Come here," he whispered, bringing Seungri into a hug. He rested his chin on Seungri's shoulder, pressing a few kisses on Seungri's neck and after the loneliness that he felt a while ago, after that time that made him feel helpless, the hug was so incredibly, unbelievably warm. 

He still had to fix everything with So Hyung, but for now he had Seungri. That was something that couldn't be changed, no matter what happened.

(In case if you're wondering, this is what the alcove looks like - sort of)

a.n : who knows Jiyong is such a crybaby. Anyway, sorry for the delay. I am super busy these days and i've been writing this updates every time I have free time. Thank you for waiting and for believing in me. I didnt abandon this story, promise. Dont worry. Also, please leave many comments for me yeah. Oh and tell me what you hope to see in the next chapter!! Thanks <3