“Are you alright?” Seungri reached out and clasped Jiyong’s hand down, trying to both hold him there and reassure him. Jiyong’s eyes were too brilliant, like a swirling pools of scarlet lights, and there was unnatural twitch going through his wings. Despite how it was beating so harshly a while ago, Seungri don’t think that he was going to fly.

“I am - I will be,” said Jiyong. He shuts his eyes for a moment, to get rid of the disturbing scarlet light and left Seungri to hold onto him, and even his breathe. He open them again a second later, and looked at Seungri. “But you need to explain it to me, why and what are these scars. Who give it to you?”

“I did it on my own,” said Seungri, as he let go of Jiyong’s hand and rolled his sleeve down. His voice were quiet, almost emotionless but Jiyong know he must’ve felt something , looking at how Seungri kept on avoiding his eyes.

Jiyong’s heart soften at this. He carefully take Seungri’s hand into his and ran his palm on the scars. “Who makes you do it?” Jiyong asked again.

“I slits my arm when they use that drug on me,” said Seungri. “I don’t want to hear their voices in my head and I don’t know how to shut them up the way I did last time, so I tried distracting myself.”

“I don’t understand,” Jiyong whispered, harsh, tense, and his wings jerked as if someone was holding onto rope and was pulling against them. “Why did they use that drug on you? How could they turned against you? And, its not just because you’re my mate,” he added fretfully, as if he thought Seungri would misunderstands, and then argue with him about it. “Although that was a part of it, but Noah… how could she turn against a child like that?”

Seungri relaxed despite of the strings of questions that flew out of Jiyong’s mouth. He had predicted that Jiyong would say something like that. Afterall, he knew how a Veela would be outraged about any abuse against their mate, but Seungri wanted to remind Jiyong that anyone could be abused, hurt or in danger and if Jiyong would feel anything about it, he wanted Jiyong to feel it not because he was mate. He wanted to be valued for himself, for being a normal human being.

“Seungri?” Jiyong called, pulling him out from his thought. His voice were wary. Maybe because he was worried that he had scared Seungri or anything.

Seungri decide to just went on with the story to just get over it quickly. He took a deep breath and starts, “Noah was planning to sell me to this one guy after I reached eighteen,” he paused for a second to make sure that Jiyong didn’t go all ape, though the Veela looked like he almost lost it, but he still remain seated instead of screaming murder. “I don’t know who he is, but he had promised to pay her a large sum of money in exchange of me.”

“Go on,” Jiyong whispered, with an assurance so calm that wasn’t even arrogance. He ducked down and leveled his eyes with Seungri, and Seungri was startled a bit when he felt Jiyong’s hand is pressing down on his own. He realized he had taken a long pause before Jiyong said that.

“She plans to leave the orphanage, took all of the money with her and starts a new life away from here,” Seungri stared down at his finger.

“She can’t do that, right?” Jiyong asked, and his voice was tense and hard. “I mean, the orphanage management must’ve sense something.”

“She had it all planned out since the beginning,” Seungri paused for a moment. He was remembering what had happened. He wanted to tell the truth, he wanted to give Jiyong some idea of what he had gone through, but he also didn’t want to exaggerate it or make it seem worse than it had been.

“You need to tell me, so that I can understand it.” Jiyong’s voice were very gentle, and Seungri looked up to see him leaning again, his wings trembling now and his voice also vibrating, on the edge of a croon. Seungri can’t help but to sigh.

“You see Jiyong, I was sent there when I was fifteen. My parents died in an accident when I was ten, and then my grandmum takes me in and take care of me until she’s too passed away. None of my close relative wants to take me in, so they sent me there.” Said Seungri and Jiyong listened to him intently. “Noah told me that child around my age was hardly adopted, so she do the favor and adopt me. Maybe she had been thinking about it the first time she lay her eyes on me. She told me that I need to repay her ‘kindness’, that I need to make myself useful for her. I thought that I really need to do that.”

“What happen after that?” said Jiyong, and he hold Seungri’s hand tenderly. Despite of his calm voice, Seungri notice how Jiyong were so close on the edge and he’s trying so hard to hold back.

“She called me into her office one day, and I saw a man sitting on the chair in front of her table. She told me to wait in the corner while she exchange few words with that man, and then she left me alone in that room with him.”

Seungri took a pause again, but this time longer than before. He felt his scars burned, the way those awful memories burned at the back of his mind and the heat surged right to his eyes. He clenched his jaw and avert his face away from Jiyong. The last thing he wanted was to cry and look weak in front of Jiyong. He don’t want Jiyong to took pity on him and sees him as pathetic.

He thought that everything will be easier since he was the one who decide to do this on his own but it was far lot harder than he thought.

“It’s okay. We don’t need to rush this,” Jiyong squeezed his hand softly. Seungri would like to think that Jiyong is just merely being thoughtful of him since it easier to think of it that way. But the way Jiyong is staring at him now shows a lot more that that. “Seungri, I need you to know, and remember that whatever happened to you in the past doesn’t matter for me, not even a bit. My feelings won’t change, and if this was hard for you, then I don’t need to know now. We can always do it some other times.”

Seungri think about it for a while, then he sighed. “I do want you to know,” said Seungri. “I know that I can stop whenever I wanted to, and I can just give you some bare fact and nothing else. But, that won’t be true to whats happening between us, and you know that. Its my word that I want to give this bond a chance, and I’ll own it.”

Jiyong take Seungri’s hand and bring it to his lips. He wondered how can he show it to Seungri, how much he really mean for him, and how much he wanted to protect Seungri’s heart from hurting any more.

“Knowing the truth is important to me, and to our bond… but right now, all that matters to me is what you felt,” he said, and turned his face to the side so that he could rub his cheek against Seungri’s open palm. He close his eyes for a moment, and press a kiss on Seungri’s palm. “It doesn’t matter what happened it the past, because whatever its look like, I won’t ever leave your side… I just don’t want to see you hurting because of this, and I’m not telling you all this just because you are my mate, but it also because of you. Do you understand?”

Seungri hesitated for a long time before he finally nodded. Only then Jiyong felt a burst of affection. Seungri, meanwhile, was caught between believing -knowing- that he was important to Jiyong and wanting to think that he was the same as anyone else but he had decide this, and he won’t take his word back out now.

“I want to tell you, alright?” Seungri said, confidently this time and Jiyong, albeit reluctan nodded. He took another deep breath “The man told me that he already paid Noah so I should ‘service’ him.”

Jiyong had to clench his jaw to stop himself from swearing vengeance. He can feel the heat behind his eyes but he had to control it for now because what Seungri need that time was not him, going out of control, but his comfort. Although he cant help but to flaps his wings relentlessly. He kiss Seungri’s hand once again, both to say that he’s alright and more importantly, to say that he’s here.

Seungri cast his eyes down, his vision turned blurry by the tears in his eyes. “He touched me, he makes me do things that I don’t want to do and when I refused him, he started hitting me.”

Jiyong held Seungri’s hand firmer, because it seems like the warmth of Seungri’s skin were the only thing that could calm his nerve anymore. He was barely holding on his rage now. The Veela in him was screaming at him, wanting him to just fly up and destroy each and every person who had hurt his mate but the other side of him, the side that had accept Seungri as who he is, told him to stay, and help Seungri go through this.

He leaned forward and rest his forehead on Seungri’s shoulder, swallowing his rage down for now, although it burned his throat and murmured, “I’m sorry you have to go through all that alone… but Seungri, I’m proud of you for being strong enough. I really am.”

Seungri lift his hand and touch the back of Jiyong’s head, running his fingers through his hairs. He decided to go on before the lump in his throat caught his voice. “I fight him even if he hurts me, but that make him feel annoyed. He told Noah that he’ll stop giving her money if I resist him,” said Seungri, praying that Jiyong wont notice how small his voice had become. “She was afraid, and mad because of it. Then, the man stops coming for a while. I thought it was over, but it was only the beginning. Noah took me to her office, and force that drug on me for the first time. She left me in that room, alone and scared and her voice were all in head, whispering, taunting me to obey her, to give what that man asked. I remember it clearly how painful it was, how ed up it felt that I thought I’m going to die or lose my sanity…”

Seungri stops when his throat closed on itself, and when the memories comes back crashing on him like a monsoon tide. It makes him sick. He hated it, to feel so miserable and helpless, and to lose against those things that once break him. He wanted to pull away from Jiyong, and wrap his arm around himself but Jiyong didn’t let him.

Jiyong leaned in and wrap his arms around him, and so do his wings. It both moved and wrap around them like a cocoon, and Jiyong’s scent engulf him completely. There is something about it makes him feels calm, and he finds himself relaxing all at once.

Jiyong moved his head to the side and press a soft kiss on Seungri’s head. He had thought that it was something like this. Although it makes him feels an unspoken hatred toward those people, but at the same time, he was pleased at Seungri’s honesty. At least now, Seungri was no longer attempting to hide the truth from him or trying to soften its impact. Right now, Seungri is baring it all for him to see, and feel - and he had to decide what he need to do when he heard as much as he wanted - and he was undoubtly shaking with rage that he couldn’t let out because it would tear off the roof of the house.

Or whatever else Noah lived in right now. He had no doubt that he could find them, even without Seungri telling him where they are, and he could destroy them all if he wanted to. Rules and laws be damned for all he cares.

But now isn’t the right time. Seungri needs him to be here. He hug Seungri closer and murmured into his hairs when he’s sure that Seungri had calmed down, “When did you leave that place for the last time?”

“When I passed the college entrance examination.” Seungri said, his voice slow and Jiyong pressed another assuring kiss on his head. “One thing that she can’t took away from me is my right to get a proper education, but even then, she didn’t give up and continue trying to stop me from leaving.”

“What did she do to you?” Jiyong asked, and he become aware that his voice had become high and silvery when Seungri flinched a little from it.

“The day before I leave, she locked me in the store room and she hides my bags away,” Seungri sighed. “I thought I won’t be able to leave until Lucas comes along and help me escape. We basically grew together ever since Noah adopt me and he knew that  his mother hated me, and he told me that he loved me and wants to help me. So that night, we run off together.”

Jiyong frowned when he heard that pest name. He should have guessed it that at some point, Lucas name would pop out and to think that he was someone who once had been in some kind of relationship with Seungri make his heart ached uncomfortably. Both with jealousy and the urge to rip Lucas’s throat apart. He shakes off the thought from his head and focused back on Seungri. “Go on,” he said.

Seungri spent some time studying him, and then he nodded, his shoulder relaxing. “Lucas stayed with me since he can’t go back to the orphanage because Noah was furious that her own son spoiled her plans. She disowned him.” Seungri shook his head. “He manage to get a job and then he rent place that I lived in, and he asked me to move out from the college hostel and move in with him. I agreed without giving it so much thought, because he was all I have and he loved me.” He paused for a moment, remembering what had happened and wondered if its alright to tell Jiyong about it.

“It’s alright. Tell me everything that you think I need to know,” Jiyong made his voice almost coaxing, and Seungri leaned towards him, instinctively, Jiyong thought and he was surprised for a second.  

“Everything was fine at the beginning, until he finds out what really happen to me back at the orphanage. He never knew exactly what his mother did to me, and about the promise she make to that man, and Noah took advantage of this. She finds him and told him everything, but she twist the story and put all the blames on me. She told Lucas that I tricked him, and the man was actually her friend and I was the one who seduced him for money like a - “

“It isn’t a word that you or anyone else to ever call yourself in front of me,” said Jiyong and he sound deeply offended by it.

Seungri stared up and see how Jiyong were staring thoughtfully at him. “Alright,” he mumbled as he leaned his head back on Jiyong’s shoulder.

Jiyong spread his wings and fluttered the tips in that little movement that Seungri understands as part of preening. Then, his smiles faded, and he said, “Good, I would never like to hear that again. Tell me what happen after that?”

“Well, Lucas fall for it and his treatments toward me changed completely,” Seungri pulled away from Jiyong and want to ease back on the chair as though he assumed they didn’t need to be as close now that he already calmed down, but Jiyong seized his hand and shook his head violently. Seungri blinked at him, but stayed put. “He didn’t come home for a while and after he did, he was often drunk and reek with perfumes and alcohol. I knew he start sleeping with other women or guys and every time we fought, he told me that I have no right to get mad because I had slept with other men before but even with all those going around, we were still together.”

“Why?” Jiyong asked, so softly that his voice drifted and coiled like a smoke around the room. “He clearly doesn’t love you anymore, so why did he comes back now and even try to take you away from me?”

Seungri shrugged. He was still holidng Jiyong’s graze, but he looked uncomfortable again. “Maybe Noah told him to, but back then, its just because he was a selfish prick. I did tried to leave him but he didn’t let me. At the beginning he only threat me, saying that he’ll tell everyone what kind of person I am and makes me lose my scholarships. I was worried, but it just a baseless accusation and seeing that wasn’t enough, he started to use the same drug as Noah on me.”

“How did you resist it? The way you did without hurting yourself like this.” said Jiyong, and his hand were once again moving on the scars.

Those cuts were no longer visible as Seungri had pulled his sleeved down, but he remembered it. How the thin, straight lines, scarring Seungri’s forearm to the base of his wrist. He had never seen it because Seungri always wear long sleeve shirt and he never touched Seungri carelessly without his consent.

“When Lucas used that drug on me, I didn’t cut myself just because of it,” Seungri said hesitantly before he continued, “Part of it because I was depressed and the thing that was going on between me and Lucas at that moment were so messed up. I almost thought of taking my own life.” The words still dried out Seungri’s throat when he said it, as ridiculous as that was. He shook his head and said, “Until, I got in touch back with Daesung hyung and met Youngbae. They knew what Lucas did and protected me. That was when I realized that I can fight back, and I did what I did.”

In his voice was the deep relief that Jiyong didn’t know if he would admit to himself, that he didn’t make that decision, and the fact that he were safe from Noah and Lucas now. Jiyong would make sure of it.

“Do you want them to be punished?”

Seungri slowly pulled away from him, and their eyes met. Jiyong’s irises were slowly shifting into slits, and the white of his eyes were slowly turning red as he waited for Seungri’s answer.

But Seungri didn’t reply immediately. He held Jiyong gaze and sat there, staring blankly past Jiyong’s shoulder, probably entertaining himself with several scenarios in his head. Then he glanced at Jiyong and shook his head. “There’s part of me that would like that, but then I’ll descend as low as them and I don’t want to drag you along. Its not worth it.”

Jiyong slowly inclined his head. He could understand that, he suppose but he need to do something about this new knowledge and the way it made his fingernails want to transform into claws. “What do you want then?”

“You mean, who do I want you to take revenge on?” Seungri shifted his weight. “No one. I told you that because I wanted you to know and so it wouldn’t be a secret between us anymore, not because I wanted a revenge. I see how they looked when you defeated them that day, its enough for me.”

Because I wanted you to know. Jiyong listened to the echo of those words for a moment, sweeter than any songs he ever heard, and then he asked gently, “What do you want then, if its not revenge? I want to give you something because of what you’ve endured. I have to give you something.” The fire curling inside of his and it was focused on his mate, demanded for it.

Seungri thought about that for a long moment, long enough that Jiyong could breath again. At least that meant he would probably get a serious answer, instead of one that made up simply so Seungri could fend him off.

“I think,” said Seungri carefully, “that I’d like a massage.”

Jiyong’s wings twitched. Not at all what he had thought Seungri would choose, but then again, he didn’t know Seungri very well enough to say what an expected response would be. “Would you?” he asked. “From me, I suppose.” Not that he would let someone else touch Seungri for any reason, right now, but it was nice to see the way Seungri gave him a blank look. His eyes were not damp anymore and although he was glad that Seungri is a strong person, he also hope Seungri could rely on him more.

“Of course you,” said Seungri, and he stood up and turned around and began ing his shirt, willingly for the first time in front of him. Jiyong’s wings twitched again and his mouth was full with his happiness but he has something to say. “Wait, Seungri.” He moved towards Seungri, who turned his head to watch him appraisingly over one shoulder.

Jiyong personally thought things were moving to fast and it was making him confused but the temptation of a chance to finally touch Seungri instead of him squirming to get away were too precious to let go of.

“Wouldn’t this be easier if I was lying down on something?” Seungri’s voice burst his bubble of thought and he nodded distractedly.

“Lets return to our room,” said Jiyong, and his heart began to beat loudly inside his chest. Seungri began to walk towards their room and Jiyong followed closely from behind. He closed the door once they are in the room and his eyes wouldn’t leave Seungri. Perhaps later he would worry about that. But right now, it was natural and expected result, and he could feel little tingles of happiness pouring through him.

Most of them were probably his, but he also thought of some of them were coming through the bond.

“Jiyong?” Seungri asked, cocking his head as he walked over the bed and draped himself onto the silken sheets in the middle, nearly making Jiyong’s brain slide out his ears with happiness.

“Yes?” Jiyong whispered, creeping closer, his hand flexing out and trembling with the desire to caress, to touch, and go on touching.

“Why we need to go to your room? I can just lie down on the couch you know.” Seungri rolled to one side of his elbow, and his smile was faint, but real. “Is there a particular reason for that?”

“I promise no until you’re ready,” said Jiyong, because he don’t know if Seungri was actually frightened, and he won’t try anything if thats the case. “I wanted you to lay on the bed because I thought it would be the most comfortable for you. And, its wider than the couch.

Seungri visibly thought about it for a moment, then shrugged and said, “Thats true.” and he discarded his shirt and lay down on the bed, trustingly turning his back towards Jiyong.

Jiyong sits beside him and he ran his finger slightly on Seungri’s back. Other than a slight tension in Seungri’s shoulder, there was no negative reaction but his chest swelled with the need to scream when he saw thin, faint scars on Seungri’s back.

He really do want to kill Noah right now but Seungri had said that he didn’t want revenge. Perhaps Seungri don’t have to know about that.

“Why do you choose a massage?” Jiyong whispered as he reach for the soft oil on the nightstand. It was a sort that he often used on himself after bath. "When you had to know it would mean my hands would be all over you?”

“Because I knew it would mean that your hands were all over me,” Seungri said, his voice muffled by the pillow he had his face mashed into. “I want to know what that feels like.”

“To learn how to tolerate it?” Jiyong’s wings shook again. He supposed it might be that. After all, he can’t deny that this feels too sudden. Maybe Seungri were really forcing himself to be a good mate for him but he prayed that wasn’t it. He wanted to believe that Seungri is really sincere with him.

“No.” Seungri hesitated again, and then said, “Because I might like it, but I don’t know for certain yet.”

Jiyong swallowed as he leaned forwards and showed him exactly what it felt like, and if his wings were still twitching and his croon was shaking his throat, well, Seungri didn’t look disposed to blame him.

A.N : Okay, first of all, I am so sorry for delaying the update for too long and didn't say anything about it. I am so sorry. I got too caught up in my personal life and I have no motivation of writing the update until recently. Anyway, thank you for waiting and don't forget to leave your comment and let me know what you feel abt this. 

Aizele, thank you <3 I owe you a lot...