I dedicated this chapter to all my loyal readers, and also to my dear friend Aizele. Now, enjoy ~

He was always on guard. He claimed that he's selfish for only loving himself, and yet, he care too much...

Jiyong understood, he really did. And as selfish as it may sound,  he wouldn't want to waste the gift of the tolerance and the chance that Seungri was giving him. But he also want to destroy that barrier and scatter it to the far corner of the universe. 

He thought he'd found it when he dug down hard with his hands. He got an incohorent mumble, and when he arched his neck a little so he could look down on Seungri's face around the corner of his temple, he saw - 

He saw what he had to see, Jiyong thought a little while later. What would give him the strength and courage to go on with trying to seduce Seungri and give him freedom at the same time. He needed reward, and Seungri had to give him one. 

But that thought came to him later, just like Seungri's thoughts came back later. What Jiyong saw was Seungri's parted lips and rapidly blinking eyes, and his hands clenching in the sheets of the bed, and his soft exhale of breath that become rapid. 

"Seungri?" Jiyong whispered, bending over and leaning his lips down towards Seungri's ear. His head was whirling, and his heart was thumping so loud against his chest. His wings were beating as slowly and regularly as if he was flying. 

"Yeah?" Seungri asked, gasped really, and rolled his head to the side and opened his eyes fully. 

They were blank, glazed. Jiyong reached out and touched Seungri's cheek. He couldn't have stopped himself now if he known that someone would took his fortune away if he touched Seungri. "You're perfect love," he whispered. "Can I kiss you?" It was amazing, the way he could cling to his self - control enough to ask instead of just taking.  He remembered the way Seungri would feel if he didn't ask, and so self - control was there. 

"What?" Seungri asked dazely, and some of the glaze slid away. Then he nodded frantically. "Yes, you can. Just keep on touching me, please."

It was lot harder to massage Seungri when he turned like that so Jiyong could kiss him at the same time, but Jiyong manage. His hands were locked on Seungri's shoulder, and at least he could keep those. And he dug his fingers in and rubbed them back and forth in tiny, tight circles at the same time as he slowly press his lips on Seungri's. 

Jiyong was tumbling in his head, inside his body, feeling so happy that he could scarcely move. Its started with tentative peck, but soon it turns into a deeper and passionate kiss and now, only his lips, his hands and his tongue moved, when Seungri's mouth opened  and alert enough to move in the same rhythm with him. He and soothed and kissed at the same time, and he almost lost it when Seungri's arm were wrapping around him. 

He comes out from his sense when he felt a slight tremble on Seungri's arm when it touched his skins. For a moment, Jiyong was worried if he might have used some of his Veela magic without realizing it, and he was influencing Seungri in the way that Seungri wouldn't liked if he was conscious, but Seungri moaned and kicked his chest, and suddenly Jiyong was on the bed with him, trying not to crush his wings.

And after that, it didn't matter. 

*

Seungri didn't know where this sudden tide of lust had come from. He remember feeling scared when Jiyong asked to kiss him, but now, suprisingly, it doesn't matter anymore. 

Now, it feels like burning gold dust that flooded him and brought life he hadn't known was missing back to him limbs. All he know is that he want to kiss, and kiss and  kiss. And then, he want to bite, and he bit the first thing he thought of, Jiyong's tongue. 

Jiyong froze. Then he shoved Seungri flat onto the mattress, and his wings were breaking free, frantically flapping above them, and the wind blew Seungri's hair back. However, it didn't detach his mouth from Seungri's, though, which was the only thing Seungri think about at the moment. 

It was so good. Seungri was coming to regret ever being afraid. Why had he been afraid? There was some pain, maybe, there would be pain when Jiyong forced his way in, but at the moment, Seungri only wanted to shed his trousers and let Jiyong do whatever he wanted to him. 

The lust suddenly burned, and burned. He kissed and bit Jiyong's lips in frenzy, and Jiyong pulled back, staring at him. 

"What changed your mind so suddenly?" Jiyong asked. His voice was hoarse, and the only thing Seungri thought about was how beautiful he looked with his hazel eyes, and swollen lips and wings that curved and dropped above him like palm fronds. 

"Does it matter?" Seungri snapped, and reached up to hook his fingers through Jiyong's golden locks. He pulled the Veela back down, and Jiyong make a muffled sound and shoved at his chest with both hands held flat. But Seungri didn't have time to listen to his silly concerns now. He was kissing, and Jiyong was the only one who could ease the heat inside of him. Seungri opened his legs and reach for Jiyong impatiently. 

Jiyong leaned away and pinned both of his wrist down. 

Seungri snarled at him and began to trash around, trying to break free and snatch at him again. Jiyong held him firmer and hovered above him with his wings fluttering, making the pillows and sheets and everything else on the bed flutter. Seungri glared hard at him. "You wanted so badly to me, and now you're just letting the chance pass by?" he demanded. 

"I want you to think about this." Jiyong's voice was long and slow, and Seungri wondered why he wasn't consumed by the same fiery desire that Seungri could feel smoldering his stomach. Wasn't this what a Veela wanted the most? To dominate their mate? "You changed your mind so suddenly. I want you to make sure that it wasn't the result of - of anything I might did." 

"You seduced me," said Seungri, and he put on a smile that he hoped was seductive itself. He didn't think so, though, from the frankly odd stare Jiyong was giving him. "Come on, don't you want to?" He asked, and he could feel how his heart just drop when Jiyong still staring oddly at him. Maybe Jiyong has change his mind after seeing his scars, and perhaps Lucas was right all along when he said that, no one could love him after knowing his flaws. How foolish, he thought to himself. 

"You changed your mind, did you?" Seungri said, and Jiyong's face paled when he heard it. 

"No, I did not! Of course I want to," Jiyong add fretfully, and his eyes sparked with so much passion that Seungri smiled hopefully. "I want to," Jiyong said, "but with you in your right mind."

"This is my bloody right mind!" Seungri snatched his hands away from Jiyong's hold and slumped back on the pillow, glaring. "Bloody Veela."

"No, its not," Jiyong said gently, and he leaned down and place a soft kiss on Seungri's forehead. "I wonder, you got so angry at Lucas and Noah that day and at me, in the drawing room, after month not being angry at all. I think after that incident, especially when you explode at me, you had to subdue it all because you were taking care of me, and I needed you. But I also wonder if you would have been exploding with rage if not for that." He hesitated, "And, you held back your lust for the same amount of time, right? So what if this is some kind of recoil, explosion of emotions but not what you want?"

Seungri turn his back at Jiyong and press his head into the pillow. What did Jiyong wants if not this? Seungri had thought it was surrender. If that the case then, fine, he surrender. He would lie back and let Jiyong had his way on him, because that was what Jiyong want, and right now, he wanted the same too. He wanted someone to fill him, because he feels so empty, because he guess it would feel good, and because he was lonely. He wanted to believe what Jiyong said to him earlier were true, and he wanted to give Jiyong a chance to prove it. He thought that Jiyong would leap to take advantage of the oppurtunity. 

But of course not. Of course not! Seungri gagged on a flood of bitterness that welled up inside of his throat like vomit. No matter what he did, what he said, or how he tried to prove himself of what he wanted, Jiyong would always wanted him to be something that he wasn't. He was never good enough. Not for Jiyong, not for anyone. 

"Fine," he said. "If you won't do it, then I'll just do it myself." And when Jiyong opened his mouth as if he was going to ask about that, Seungri push his hand into his trousers and began to touch himself. 

Jiyong stared at him for a second with his mouth open. Seungri ignored him and continue what he's doing. At least, he could use some emotion in Jiyong besides patronizing concern, then. That was nice to know.

But it wasn't enough, to ease the consuming heat and frustration that were racing through his body. Seungri got his hand under the cloth and yanked and pulled, but it still wasn't enough. He groaned and rolled over to rub against the sheets, but that wasn't enough either. He swore and punch the sheets. 

Jiyong grabbed his wrist. 

"Will you stop it?" Seungri struggle as hard as he could under Jiyong's hold. "You wouldn't do anything about it, so its my right to do something! Or what? you're going to tell me corny s like my body belongs to you or something and I can't touch myself without your permission?" he added, getting up on his knees so he could get some slack in Jiyong's arm, and then flinging himself backward as hard as he could. 

"I would like it very much if its true," Jiyong said, and moved with him, his wings beating, so that Seungri was just laying on his back with Jiyong hovering above him again, the way he had been before. Seungri could see advantages to that, and he tried to arch up so that Jiyong could do something useful for once in his life, but Jiyong leaned out of the way, his eyes uncannily intense. "But its not. And I want to know what you're feeling right now."

The lust and dissapointment was banking and breaking Seungri like a wave, and he gasped and arched up again. Now it wasn't even desire. It was just burning, and he rolled away from Jiyong and rode out the pain in as much as silence he could manage. 

Which wasn't much. He seemed to have lost the knack of suffering in silence when he let his emotions break free. And then, he was sobbing brokenly in a minute, and gasping after that, and then the fire seemed to ease back and flood into some deep recess of his limbs where he couldn't touch it. And at the end, he was left there weak and clear  - headed. 

"It was what I thought it was, wasn't it?" Jiyong asked a minute later. He sat there beside Seungri, with one hand gently wiping away the tears on Seungri's face. He smiled faintly. "It was a recoil from what you experianced before. A reaction."

Seungri turn his head to the sides in humiliation and closed his eyes. But Jiyong was still there, a breathing presence, and frankly, Seungri was tired of retreating. That wasn't the way he had done it when Lucas refused to let him go, or when Noah forced that drug into his mouth, or any other time when there were responsibilities that he had to fulfill in order to feel fully alive. This wasn't the way he wanted to live his life, either. 

"Yes," he said at last. "Maybe it was like what you said. I was frantic, I was frustrated, and then - then its all leaked out of me and didn't comes back."

Jiyong grunted quietly, and didn't say anything long enough that Seungri wondered if he was going to say anything at all. But then, he had part of his answers, as he feel Jiyong's hand in his hair.

"You don't have to be ashamed of it," Jiyong said. "Its amazing, that you resisted as much as you did. I won't forgive myself if I take advantage on you in this situation."

Seungri rolled over so he could stare at Jiyong. "But you had to prevent me from touching myself silly. That doesn't sounds like resisting to me." 

Jiyong give him a gentle, pained smile, and reached out to wind his fingers around Seungri's. "But you didn't do that. And you didn't blow up at me the way you did before, do you realize that? You could have shove me onto the floor and beat me, but you didn't."

Seungri blinked. That was true. As angry as he had been at Jiyong just a few minutes ago, he hadn't even thought of hurting Jiyong the way he did that day. 

But still... "I don't know if you consider that it was virtue," he muttered. "After all, I was too lustful, too out of my head to think about anything other than satisfying it."

Jiyong picked his hand up and held it to his lips. "Listen to your Veela," he said, in prissy voice that robbed the words of any chance to sting. "If I say that you were brave and couragous, then, you were." 

Seungri leaned back and manage to laugh a little. "All right. I think, I can accept that. Its easier, easier than to accept what might have happened."

Jiyong nodded, Then he leaned in and stared deep into Seungri's eyes, and Seungri's breath caught. It wasn't hot or anything, what Jiyong was doing at the moment, kneeling beside him and bringing his wings down so that Seungri couldn't see much else but his eyes and face alone. It was intimate, though.

"Listen," Jiyong whispered, and his eyes stares momentarily at Seungri's lips momentarily before it travelled back to his eyes. "I wanted you to know that I want to touch you, to love you and to pour all of me inside of you until there were nothing else left inside of you to think about but me, and just me." And then, he runs his thumb gently across Seungri's lips. "And I hardly want anything before I become yours and you become my mate. But I want to do it when you're in your right mind and want it too, as much as I did. Not when you can barely think or speak and flopping around on our bed like a landed fish."

Seungri stared for a minute, then lowered his head and manage to vent his feelings a little with chuckle. "Not the most attractive description I've ever heard of."

"Not the most attractive sight," said Jiyong, and his hand tightened again.

They stared at each other for a second, and Jiyong leaned in for a kiss. For the first time, in his right mind, Seungri close his eyes and let it happen. It was a short kiss than what they have earlier, but it felt far more sincere and Seungri feel his heart jumped when Jiyong smiled against his lips as he kissed back. They parted a moment later, and Jiyong kissed his cheek, and smiled. "So whats next?"

Seungri smiled back at him and scoots over to make room for Jiyong besides him. "Nap sounds very tempting right now." He said, and remove the bolster he had used all this time to separate the side of his bed from Jiyong's.

Jiyong breathed in, his wings trembling and rising and falling over Seungri, and then settled again when he laid down besides Seungri, closer than the he could ever imagined and drew Seungri tightly against his side. "Sleep well, love." He whispered. 

Seungri smiled sleepily, and fell into the dark slumber waiting for him. 

Maybe I could start believing again... 

************************* ********* *******************

"Well, I suppose you do look better." 

Seungri smiled a little as he watched Daesung scan him from head to toe with doubtful eyes. and he reached out and pressed his hand. It was sweet if him to think he found change in him, although Seungri didn't think it was physical. 

"Thank you," he said, and turned around to look at the vacent chair besides and in front of him. Jiyong had moved away from his sides, and stood examining one of the pictures frames on the fireplace. They choose to meet up at Daesung's place this time, on the outskirts of towns and near the beach. It was a calm place and far from the busy life at the town. Daesung is a writer, and he travel a lot for inspirations but when he comes back, he would want to come back to place like this. Seungri hope for a place like this too for himself to lived in. "So, are you planning to leave again?"

Daesung gave him a curious look. Seungri was about to repeat himself and hope that he made more sense this time, when Daesung shook his head and muttered, "You even said that differently than you used to."

"How did he used to say it?" Jiyong wandered back and put his hands on Seungri's shoulder, then leaned his chin on it. Daesung gave him a doubtful look. Seungri couldn't blame him for that, but he mouthed 'Its okay' at him. 

"With this intense concern. Like he wanted me to take him with away from this place," Daesung shrugged. "But at the same time, he can't say that because of his commitment to this place, his studies and all. He talks about his plans, of how he wanted to quickly finish his study and takes off. As though - "

"As though that was all thats matters to him," Jiyong asked and Seungri rolled his eyes but didn't say anything about it. 

"That's it, but now, it almost sounds like he don't care" Daesung said, and then stopped to stare at him. "What did you do?" 

"Thaught him better," said Jiyong, and smiled at Daesung the way Seungri knew meant he was enjoying every second of this. For Jiyong, it was justified revenge. He blamed Daesung more than Youngbae both because they didn't get along at the very beginning and for giving Seungri bad advice that had led Seungri to surpress his emotions as well as the bond at the same time. 

But Daesung had done the best he can that time, and Seungri didn't blame her or Youngbae because of it. He turned to Jiyong and said, "It's okay," aloud for everyone benefits, and lift his hand to touch Jiyong's. "You can stand behind me if you feel like it necessary, but I would really prefer if you sat down here, next to me."

Jiyong paused as if he wanted to argue, but then he inclined his head with slight smirk and sat down in the chair beside Seungri. Then he extended a hand, and Seungri snorted and take it into his. Jiyong leaned on Seungri's shoulder and blinked innocently at Daesung. 

"No, seriously, what did you do to him?" Daesung demanded. "Even the best therapist can't accomplish so much in a short period."

"Its a good thing we didn't have to send Seungri to a therapist, then." Said Jiyong in his mildest voice, the one Seungri knew he used when he wanted to with someone's head. "He just needed his Veela, he needed me."

"Urgh, tell me!" Daesung groaned in annoyance. 

Jiyong gave a long, sulky blink of his lashes. "But, my friend, Kang Daesung," he snorted. "You're telling me that you want to hear the details of the times I spents with Seungri, together, as a mates?"

Daesung actually started to answer positively. He was so caught up in thing, Seungri decided later, that his brain had probably identified the word 'mates' that applied in this case. He ended up turning flushed and unbecoming colour, and started waving his hands around him as though he worried if Jiyong was really going to blast the details at him right there. 

"No, nope! On the second thought, I think I am not that curious," He gave Seungri an embarassed glance that Seungri had to bit his lips to stop himself from laughing. "Anyway, I'm glad you're feeling better Seungri. And that, you don't have any problem with your bond anymore. Thats is, wonderful really. I need to go and make some tea for you."

And then, he rush out from the room and closed the door behind him as if he's afraid if Jiyong still insist to tell. 

"There," said Jiyong, as he sat back and nodded decisively. "We don't have to worry about fuss from that quarter again, I guess."

Seungri placed his head on top of the table before he felt he could laugh as hard as he wanted to. "He's just trying to help," he finally breathed out, and sat up. 

"Of course," Jiyong said. "But he could help us with tea or anything else but I don't think we need more aid from that quarter." His excessively formal language had already told Seungr something was up, but Seungri had to admit that he didn't expect the hand that took his shoulder, gripped him and turned him around. "Do we?"

Seungri recognized the source of demand in his voice, and manage to lower his head and look up through his lashes. That made Jiyong relaxed a little. He had already told Seungri how cute he think that was, in a burst of honesty, so Seungri didn't think of it as a 'naturally' submissive gesture or something. 

In which he was incapable of, anyway. 

"I don't think we need Daesung, or anyone to offer us advice on our love life, no." Seungri conceded

"Good," said Jiyong, and he leaned his head back on Seungri's shoulder, snuggling  closer to Seungri as if he was asking to be petted. 

Seungri look at the Veela amusingly, and then Daesung comes in with a tray of tea and some butter cookies. He smiled when he sees Daesung rolled his eyes at Jiyong before he rushed to the door to welcome Youngbae in. 

The man hang his coat and walk towards them. Youngbae looked approving when he stared at both of them, so even if Daesung still hasn't used to his development with Jiyong, Seungri reckoned he had the supports of all the persons that matters to him and thats enough. 

A.N : Thank you everyone for the supports and also for the upvotes as well as the subscribers. I don't know when the next update will be because I am still so busy, if I'm not doing my school works, I'll be sleeping. BUT, I will try to write the updates bits by bits. So Im just hoping that you guys will continue waiting, and thanks for those who already understands. I wish I could write more, or at least, be in the state of mind where I always feels calm, energetic and inspirationals but life just draining sometimes. At some point, i wish I could just drop everything and moved to a remoted island and lived there by myself. But I can't and life must go on.... :( 

But anyway, I wish you guys love this new update. When I wrote this, I feel funny, awkward and embarassed! this is my first time writing something that is close to bed scene, and writing those corny lines just give me cringe. I hope thats not the case for you guys.. If you find this not so good, then please forgive me hehe.. I can say that this is a practice, before I write the real deal.. perhaps.. <3

Please leave a comment, a long oneee and maybe an upvote :) thank you.

To My Friend, Aizele... I am really grateful of you.