Jiyong were watching him as though Seungri had knocked down the ladder he was standing on. Seungri shakes his head, feeling irritated by the thoughts. Seriously now, what did Jiyong think of him? He had changed his view on the idea that Jiyong had been trying to sneak around him or use him somehow, and he could admit it that he may had act a little bit childish back then. But, its still a long way for Jiyong to think that he too want a 'normal' kind of bond that Jiyong had always prating on. 

"I thought we were past this." Jiyong's voice were crackling softly, frozen, like ice that he had once foolishly stepped on when he was still a child living at the orphanage and believing some of the things those kids had told him, like how you can really skate on ice without a skates if you just tried hard enough. "If you think that I was trying to enslave you -"

"I don't think that," Seungri said and he ran his fingers through his hair, wondering how something so simple could turned into a mess. "You said that a normal bond would involve a submissive mate which is I'm not. It would never happen to me. Never."

He fought so hard, he thought, to have something resembling freedom. He might still be restrained by the thought of people who are dear to him and now, by his bond with Jiyong, but at least, now he can say that he's free. He ate what he chose and wear what he liked and went where he wanted. The mere thoughts of someone taking it all away from made his nerve boil with unspeakable irritation.

Jiyong gives him measured look. "I've already accepted that the bond that I shared with you now would change from the normal one."

Seungri paused as he stared at Jiyong. "You did?" He said, wishing that he didn't sound like a helpless child but Jiyong, at least was easing back now and tilting his head back instead of reacting with anger. 

"Yes. I know that I would like to access more to your thoughts and emotions." Jiyong said softly, "But I don't want you to change your personality and become someone who are not you."

Seungri spent a little time processing Jiyong's words. The Veela let him think, but didn't move away or lifting his eyes off from Seungri's face. 

He slowed his breathing and nodded. "All right. I had misunderstood and I'm sorry for that. But there is something else I want to understand further. About the mates, and their rights on Veela's property, and about them handling private matters. What does it exactly means?"

"What Seunghyun had told you," said Jiyong, and he gave Seungri a confused look. "I was listening when he told you about it that day. What he said, about a Veela's mate controlling the house and everything that goes within the house... that was all true."

"But it must mean something more than that, to mean so bloody much!" Seungri began to snap, taking the existent anger into finally requesting some information on what he didn't know. "Because it also has something to do with the submissive mate staying at home, taking care of the children, right?"

Jiyong closed his eyes. Seungri started to speak and he shook his head. "No, wait, Seungri. I'm not going to deny you an answer. I'm trying to put something into words that's always been at least two - thirds instinctive understanding for me."

Seungri bit back a snort at the word 'instinctive' and waited. Finally, Jiyong opened his eyes and spoke slowly. 

"The mate blends with the house. His senses become the house sense's. He feels the earth of the garden when someone walks on it, someone who should be there, and someone who shouldn't. He can hear a baby's cry anywhere in the house. He can feel it when his Veela needs him, as long as that needing happens in the house. The Veela is the one who defends his mate in public, because a Veela's sense function in an open air a lot like the mate do inside their house."

Seungri grunted. It did sound a little bit special than what Seunghyun had told him, and little bit rational but he still didn't feel keen to the idea. "Is there any paticular reasons why that role has to be taken by the submissive mate, and not the Veela?"

Jiyong's eyes were back on him in an instant. "I thought you said you didn't want anyone else to take the submissive role, either."

He sighed, "I phrased that badly, then. You're not the only one who does things like that." He shook his head. "But why can't the submissive and the Veela shares responsibility for caring the house between them? Or why doesn't the one who stays at home feel stronger? Or the one who was born in the house? It seems like it would make more sense for you to know something's wrong in this manor, because you were the one was raised here."

"But thats not how it works," Jiyong said. "Just like a couple of birds that didn't defend the nest equally."

"But you said Veela aren't birds."

Jiyong scowled a little at this. "Are you going to throw all my words back to my face now?"

"Oh please, I'm trying to understand things here." Seungri scoffed. "Why this is a good thing, and why did you want it so much. And why wouldn't it be a good idea to share this power, if it exist. A Veela and the mate could share the responsibility of making their child, but why can't they share anything else? Why is so much of their partnership seperate?"

Jiyong paused and gave Seungri a dazed stare. "I never thought of it like that," he said. 

Seungri nodded. "I think that was something that we need to consider," he said. "We need to talk about a lots of things if we wanted to make this work."

Jiyong walked towards him and draw Seungri closer towards him. Seungri thought holding him close has starting to become Jiyong's habit now. "Those things include some about you," He whispered.

"What?" Seungri looked sharply at him.

"I won't ask about the things that you told me not to ask about." Jiyong's face were soft and breathy as he wrapped his arms around Seungri's waist. "But I want to know about the other things. More about you, and why you're so set on not having a normal bond with me."

Seungri hesitated for a while, but then he shrugged. "Fine. If that will help." He pushed Jiyong softly from him, and he see the sweet, smug smile from Jiyong that suggested he had his own thoughts on what Seungri meant. He turn around and lead the way out from the room. 

"But lets have lunch first. I'm starving."

*

"What do you want to know about?" 

Seungri knew he was more relaxed than he would have been before the meal that they just had. It was enormous, and while he didn't want to act like Kwon luxury was seducing him, it was hard to hide his appreciation. He might not always want to eat a lot, but he liked having an option, for many reasons. 

And this time, the meals had contained so many different sauces that he had been tempted to try than usual because he wanted to taste different combinations. And now, his mouth was surrounded by small circle of red and yellow, and Jiyong was looking at him with more than a faint smile as the maids cleared the dishes away.

He coughed and reached for the napkin, wiping his mouth clean but he suspected that at least some of it would stay there. If only he had mirror at the moment. 

"Its alright. Let it stay," Jiyong said softly, maybe picking some of his thoughts through the bond. "I liked it when you look well - fed."

Seungri shrugged awkwardly and left the napkin on the table. "Anyway, what do you want to know about?"

Jiyong's wings opened as he leaned over the table. He had obviously gotten used to them to be aware of their movements, because even though Seungri thought he come close to doing so, he didn't actually knock any of the dishes off the long dining table. "I want to know why your friends seem so intent on you, keeping down your temper. Its not the advice I expected them to give to you."

Seungri stared at him. "Even though the hyungs is more rationale than I am?"

"Youngbae is knowledgeable and maybe, Daesung too, but thats not the same as being rationale." Jiyong held out a hand and let it wander among the dishes and the pots, but then, he ended up with it near one of Seungri's. Without thinking much, Seungri turned his hand and take it. "I would have expected them to value honesty over anything else. But sometimes, it would be more than honest to lose your temper."

"But it would also mean that I'd isolate away people from me," Seungri said. "Youngbae hyung saw what happened when I lose my temper, once before and they kind of decide this themself."

"With who?" Jiyong once again was looking at him like he was the center of the universe. "What exactly he do to you?"

It was flattering, and also tempting sometimes. He thought that he might believe himself was the center of the universe if he let Jiyong look at him like that all the time. It was like the Kwons luxury, the Kwons food. He might let go and enjoy it once in a while, but most times, he had to be on guard against it, or he will start to act foolishly again.

"Someone back then, during my college years. He gave me the same drug that Noah used" he said.

"You never did make it clear who that was, or what the circumtances were." Jiyong's voice had gone quiet and direct, and his eyes were full of a savage, clear light as he focused them on Seungri's face.

Seungri sighed a little. "I know. Thats because I'm not proud of it and because, I thought you might try to take revenge on him." 

"He's still alive?" Jiyong whispered dangerously. Seungri saw how his nails started to grow and narrowed down at the end. "and free?"

Seungri glared at him before he could stop himself. "It was a long time ago. And can you stop that, please?" 

"Alright," Jiyong gave in, turning his nails to normal again. "But tell me, did he at least received a punishment or anything for doing that to you?" 

"No. Because what I did to him was considered as punishment enough."

Jiyong paused, his head tilting to the side as if he was a dog, considering a treats. Seungri relaxed, although he did remind himself that the dog would try to rip someone face off for insulting him. 

"That sound more interesting," Jiyong decided after a moment. "Tell me, what did you do?"

Seungri sighed, although not because he was going to refuse. It just, he didn't like remembering it. "I was on my way to see Youngbae hyung. I don't know whether he slipped it in my food or something but halfway through, the effect hit me. And I was in pain, so I scream, so loud that I didn't even hear his voice whispering in my head."

Jiyong's eyes went wide as though Seungri had told him the most exciting story he ever heard. "Did someone come to help you that time?" 

"Yes. Some passerby did tried to help me, but there isn't really anything they can do about it." Seungri shook his head. "They thought I was attacked but there isn't anyone suspicious around me and I wasn't wounded too ."

"They didn't call the ambulance or anything?" Jiyong ask impatiently. 

"No, I told them not to," He said and Jiyong gives him a disaproving stare. "It's a drug... I don't want anyone else knowing I was involved in drugs because I need to maintain my scholarship. So, I kind of dragged myself somewhere more secluded and threw the Crucio off the way I did with Noah, although it took longer back then." 

"You are on your own?" Jiyong interrupted. "I can never imagine how you do it."

Seungri shrugged. "The strength of Crucio drug depends in part of how much the giver hates the target, or how much they want to torture them into obeying. He wanted to do both, almost the same way Noah did, so it didn't end and no one really could help stopping it other than the victim themselves when they comply."

"Its that guy, Lucas. Isn't it?" Jiyong's wings almost stood at the end, it seemed, and swayed back and forth like reeds in strong wind. "Why did he hates you? Why did he wanted you to obey him?"

Seungri considered him carefully, "Are you going to go off and kill him if I give you enough information about it?"

Jiyong give him a blank glance that told Seungri everything about the truth. He shook his hear wearily. He know he's going to regret this. "It doesn't matter that much." He said. "What matters is that he doesn't have anything to do with me anymore, and he can't harm me with those drugs too." 

Jiyong made a rough noise, a cross between purr and a growl. "What did he have anything to do with you? Tell me in detail." He added, when Seungri hesitated. 

Seungri grimanced. "I used to be in a relationship with him, but the relationship was pretty one - sided. At least, that was what I come to realized after being with him for a while. He didn't love me the way I think he did. It was a mess back then and I just want a way out but that drug is one of his way to held me back." He bit his lips hard and he just hoped that he didn't look pathetic when he turn to Jiyong. "Do we really need to do this?" 

Jiyong looked at him with intense, glittering eyes, but they waren't any more intense than most human would be, Seungri thought, or than Youngbae's eyes had been when he stressed to him how to keep his temper down. "Fine," Seungri find himself relaxing when Jiyong said that but then, he added, "But for now, though, I want you to tell me what did you do to him that day."

Seungri swallowed and nodded. He wondered what reaction he was expecting from Jiyong, really expecting to see when he told Jiyong this. Would he be disgusted by it? But that could at least, stop Jiyong from tracking down Lucas and punished him, or would it change Jiyong's opinion towards him? and at the end, Jiyong would probably decide that he's not a suitable mate to keep at all.

He didn't know, and Jiyong is waiting, which in the end just meant he explained what happened without trying to conceal or eloborate anything. 

"I head back to my room once I recovered," Seungri kept his eyes on the table cloth. Just like he don't know what kind of reaction Jiyong would make, he didn't know what expression he wanted to see on his face when he said this. "I found him there, because that's where I left him that morning and I know he didn't left the place yet - "

"Seungri, stop delaying."

"You're right. " Seungri clenched his hand, then started when warms fingers curled around his. He'd almost forgotten that Jiyong is holding one of his hands, after all. "I walked to the kitchen, and grab a knife because that was the first thing I saw. He notice that I was home and was trying to attack him with that knife. I was so out of myself that I don't remember anything other than him trying to stop me, and me, swaying the knife blindly toward him. At one point, he stop fighting and when I come out to my sense, he was already laying on the floor, and there are too much cuts on his body and he was bleeding too much, I thought he was already dead that time."

Jiyong said nothing, but watched him with wide, still eyes. Then he breathed, "What happen after that?" 

"He's not dead." Seungri shrugged, still remembering the sight of Lucas laying on his own blood, and how terrified he felt when he got some on his hands and shirt, and the horror in Youngbae's eyes when he comes barging in the house and saw him there, at the kitchen with a bloody knife in his hand and an unconscious Lucas on the floor. And, at the same, the satisfaction that he felt after that fightened him. He don't want to feel like that again, and he wouldn't if he keep his anger at bay. 

"That's not enough." 

Seungri returned to himself and replied, "Youngbae hyung come to check on me because he was worried. He told me to clean the mess and change my clothes, then he send Lucas to the hospital. He manage to shut everyone mouths about what happen that day, and he threat Lucas to not file any charges on me or else, hyungs will exposed all those things he had done to me."

"You didn't kill him. He's still alive." Jiyong's finger tapped his knuckles as if he was urging Seungri to pay attention to that. 

Seungri nodded reluctantly. "I didn't though I don't care if he died that day, or if I got dragged into the jail for what I've done."

Jiyong was still, except for his eyes, which flicked swiftly between Seungri's face as if he thought Seungri was still hiding something else from him. Then he asked, with a softness that was in itself frightening. "Do you think he deserve that?"

"I did," said Seungri. "But there is this part of me that thought what I've done was horrible. It's too much. I could defend myself if someone tried to hurt me, but -"

"That's what you did." 

"The drug wasn't deadly though," Seungri insisted. He felt weird, as though he was arguing with himself, because Jiyong spoke the words he would liked to believe and didn't care, in case that led to him, excusing himself for doing other horrible things. "You saw that at the time with Noah. The worst I got was spasm. And because I was too used to it, I can throw it off better than usual. My respond was disproportionate." 

"There speaks Daesung," Jiyong muttered, shaking his head. "You suffered, and while other might think it horrifiying, to slashed someone skins open like that but, they could also excuse it under the code of self - defense. Why can't you be excused like that? Why did your hyungs thought of covering this, when the authority could take it like that?"

"Stop asking those questions!" Seungri snapped but calmed down instantly when he realized he had raise his voice to Jiyong. He settled back and muttered, "Because I think you know the answers too, and this time, you tell me."

For a moment that was more charged than Seungri thought it could be, they looked into each other eyes, and then Jiyong sighed and back to rubbing his thumb softly on Seungri's hand. "Because they was worried. They don't want to get you into anymore trouble than what you already had with that prat." 

"That's it," Seungri agreed, massaging the back of his neck. "They don't want me to go astray just because I lose my temper on someone as worthless as Lucas." 

"And thats why your friend told you to keep your temper," said Jiyong, as if he validify the statement. "The real reasons," He paused, and Seungri let the silence lengthen. Then Jiyong look at him, and whispered, "Why you didn't tell me before?" 

"I didn't trust you enough," Seungri said. "And it's not something that I'm proud of." He waited for a moment, but then Jiyong said nothing and he decided that maybe he can trust Jiyong with something else too. "Or maybe because I'm too proud of it. I did it once before. There's the possibility that I might do it again."

*

What an idiots. If you have someone who's at their limit and pretty much liable to get angry about threats to him, you teach him how to handle his anger and what he can do with it, not just ask him to hold it down and cover it up when he does.

But Jiyong wasn't Seungri, he wasn't his friends and he could give Seungri a better advice if he'd been around that time, but he didn't. Which mean, all he can do now is to give Seungri the advice that might help his mate live with what he had done.

He didn't think that Seungri should feel guilt. But that sort of advice would only push Seungri away from him, because even if Seungri hasn't feel guilty, he would've thought that he should.

"What helps you the best when you're angry?" He asked as soothingly as he could. "Doing something that could work your temper off, eat sweets, play sports or what?"

Seungri looked at him with mouth slightly open. Am I really the first one who ask him that? Jiyong thought, and his chest ached with an uncomfortable pity, which is something that he want to feel about his mate. Or at least, the first one who realized that he need to be asked? He isn't a statue who can only feels certain appropriate things. I think his friends should have realized that by now.

"I used to chew on ice, but hyungs said it'll ruin my teeths," said Seungri, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Now, its reading." 

Jiyong chuckled. "Really? That relaxes you?"

In second, Seungri turn his hand that was in Jiyong's hold and give it a little pinch. Jiyong laughed but wisely shut up when he see the 'all ready to breathe and snort fire' glare that Seungri send to him. "Yes! why not? Reading demand a lot of concentration, and that's one way to work off anger, you just keep reading and reading until you forget that you ever angry at someone. And if you keep laughing, I will go to the library and starts reading."

Jiyong's smiled and then, he took Seungri's hand back into his. "Alright. I'm sorry," he said. "Then how about you use your anger to read one of those books, the one that is really thick and then, indulge into it. I'm sure we have plenty books like that in your library. I'm sure that will relaxed you." 

"Even if I'm right in front of someone else and get angry at them?" Seungri eyed the Veela. "I can't imagine them waiting while I tell them that I have to go to the library to read some books, and I will back tomorrow or even years later."

Jiyong snorted. He wondered if his mate is always this adorable. "No, of course not. But, you can hold your breath or use techniques you use now to subdue your temper, and read your book or do something else later." He caught Seungri's other hand and grazed his lips on it. "What matters now is that you need to express your temper somehow, not just shove it down and hopes that it won't explode. I think this will help. And, it will make what you did to that 'poor excuse of a man' back then look small."

Seungri hunched as if he had wings of his own that could sheild him. Jiyong just glad he didn't. He brought his own forward and wrapped Seungri in them, and Seungri sighed and leaned his head on his chest.

"It's normal to feel angry," Jiyong reminded him, hoping that his voice sounded neutral and that he didn't sound as irritated with Youngbae and Daesung's stupid advice as he really was. Because he still need to get along with Seungri's precious friends. "It's not normal to just swallow it down. And what you did to that pest is normal."

Seungri eyed him from beneath his fringe. "Really?" 

"Really," said Jiyong. "For someone who had suffered with some of the sorts of thing that you have. Anyone could've done it, and one of it is my father, when he lost his temper against a rival once before." He closed his arms tenderly around Seungri and put his chin above Seungri's head. "I don't know everything that you have suffered, but I know its been enough."

Seungri closed his eyes and nodded sharply. "Thanks Jiyong," he said. "I might - its probably better if I can express my anger sometimes than never, and then, something like that happen again."

"Exactly." Said Jiyong. "Things like that would hurt you more than few hissy fit."

Seungri opened his eyes with a deep glow in them that told Jiyong he'd struck home. "Thank you," Seungri said. "That make so much sense. I can't believe I didn't think of that on my own."

Jiyong can't help but to smile smugly at this. "Leave the common sense to your Veela mate."

"Maybe you should be a counselor. You know how to give advices." Seungri said as he leaned closer to Jiyong's warmth. 

"No thanks, I don't think I will be a good counselor even if I wanted to be one."

"Why? It's seems to me like you could," said Seungri, tilting his head up curiously. 

Jiyong smiled, and shook his head. "It's alright. Right now, whats matter to me, for good or evil, is you."

The way Seungri flushed is delicious. The way he pull himself back gently, less so, but Jiyong had accepted by now that he couldn't get whatever he wanted exactly when he wanted it. If he could make Seungri comfortable and at peace with himself, that was a worthy goal in itself, whether or not it strengthened their bond.

A.N: Hello again! The fight is not so hardcore. I just want to put some suspense and suprised you guys with more lovey dovey Nyongtory. Thank you Aizele <3, Casty13, Aiaoii, and pandaneomukyeopta, both for your Upvote. I appreciate it.. and thank you for everyone who share their thoughts with me and also for the new subcribers. Thank you for reading this. Don't forget to check out my oneshot collection (That Bastard) too okay. Hv a Good day everyone <3

P.S : Seungri gif above is the image of him that I imagine in this story. So cute, so lovelyyyy