Hayi's Pov

 

 

I watched after Naye who was rushing away from us. Away from the reason she had locked up those emotions. I glanced at our mother through the glass pane and saw her sitting there blankly without an expression garnishing her face. Maybe Naye was right? I hadn't really thought about it before but now that Naye had said those words out loud, up in the clear. Mother was probably just enjoying the attention she got by doing this -- playing the victim.

Soyi sighed heavily so I snapped back to reality. I turned to look at her sad face. Soyi was looking at mother through the glass and it obviously bothered her. I decided to ask about it now that I finally was here for her.

 

 

"Do you think Naye is too harsh on our mother?" I just shot those words out which got Soyi off guard. She instantly moved her focus to me.

"What happened?? Did she say something again because yesterday she--" Soyi was getting annoyed so I calmed her down by placing my hand on her forearm.

"Shh-shh.." I smiled slightly. "Naye banged some prickly words straight to mother's face.. I tried to make her stop but you know how Naye gets when it's something considering our mother.." I continued and inhaled heavily.

"Naye said some hurtful words to dad too.. Yesterday she just.. I mean she might've been right, but I don't want dad to get hurt and yeah.." Soyi took some time explaining and I saw how this really bothered her too.

"I know that she can be way too intense if she doesn't realize it by herself. When she's focusing on it, she can balance it pretty well." I told and bit my lower lip. "I started to see her point of view just now though.." I continued almost whispering.

"Huh?" Soyi furrowed her brows.

"Well you know the real happenings on the day of the accident?" I confirmed but saw her shaking her head slightly. "You don't??" I almost choked.

"No one has really spoken about it.. Ever.. With me at least." Soyi seemed to be a bit down because of it.

"Okay believe me.. No one wants to talk about it so it's not only about you." I said and took a thinking expression. I decided to let Soyi know about the real happenings during that night.

 

 

After explaining the short story with some polished details, I finally focused on Soyi who had now turned a bit paler. She seemed to have a trouble understanding what I had just told her. It almost seemed like she wasn't ready to believe me, as if she truly wanted to believe that I was the one lying.

 

 

"I know this might be a bit of a shock--" I started but she cut me off this time.

"S-so... You're telling me, Naye believes that she's the reason why mother is in that state??" Soyi's lips were trembling. I furrowed my brows to her statement since those weren't the words I used. Soyi had completed the rest of the story in her head just now.

"H-how did you..?" I shook my head slightly.

"I'm not stupid! Now I think I understand.. I feel so bad for Naye right now, I mean -- I didn't know..!" Soyi started to get hysterical so I took her in my arms. 

"Calm down, calm down.. You couldn't have known now that I think about it.. Naye loves you and doesn't think of you as a bother, no matter what you've said to her.. Trust me in this." I hugged her tightly and felt her wrapping her arms around me.

"I can't believe that Naye really is blaming this all on her.." Soyi was now crying those words out quietly. I held my chin on her shoulder and patted her back gently.

"She's way too similar to mother in that matter.. She's not ready to talk about the problem either." I sighed sadly and then saw our dad disappearing behind the corner few feet away. Oh my. How long he had been there? Did he hear everything? I bit my lips together and just held Soyi in my arms. Our family was slowly becoming a proper mess.

 

 

Namjoon's Pov

 

 

It wasn't my best day to be honest. I had driven Naye to Gwangju and then drove back myself. I had spent whole six hours in a car just to take care of her yesterday. I wanted to say it was just my guts telling that I needed to help someone who obviously needed my help, but I couldn't find a proper reason for my actions. Why would I ever..? I mean, I wasn't the type of a guy who did something like that. I wasn't too bothered by others to dismiss my own priorities. Wait.. What priorities?

I was standing in front of the main entrance that would lead me straight to BH entertainment's main hallway. Work was my number one priority. My motives, on the other hand, might've got a bit dispersed. I wasn't quite sure why I took it as my responsibility to take Naye to Gwangju -- I mean the train was about to come after twenty minutes and it really wasn't that long of a time to wait. I buried my face to my palms while thinking back to that moment.

"Naye-ah.. I'll help you to sing again.... I promise?" I mumbled to my palms while wanting to fall to the core of the world. Since when was this okay thing for me to say? I didn't do this, ever. I shivered to my cringey self from yesterday and removed the palms from my face. I needed to move forwards and the next step was to get to work. I opened the door inside and for surprise, saw BTS standing in the middle of the main hallway. All of them turned to face me and just then I met my gazes with Jin. Well maybe I needed to face him first.

 

 

"So I guess you did something fun then?" Jin asked now that we had moved a bit aside from the others. I handed his car keys to him.

"I parked it in the hall.." I mumbled while looking anywhere but him.

"Are you okay?" He asked so I dared to glance at him.

"Yeah.. Just needed to drive my friend to Gwangju and get back.. I even refueled and obviously didn't crash it." I explained, now looking at the other members of BTS.

"Not that.. I meant are you okay overall? I heard Yoongi was asking about you around the company. You worked from home and closed yourself from the world again?" Jin asked and I finally faced him properly.

"Yeah." I nodded and saw him waiting for the continuation. "I mean.. It worked since I'm now here to finish off the piece I was working on." I rubbed my forearm with my hand. 

"That's good." Jin smiled slightly. "I need to get going now but I'd like to catch up with you properly.. Soon.. I think we have some things to talk about." He patted my arm once and kept on smiling.

"Sure. Have fun on set." I pointed out as I knew they were going to film the music video for their comeback single today. I watched how Jin walked to Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook. They waved to me before heading out. I bit my lips together while looking after them. I had so many things I still needed to process before I could really enjoy their success. Just then Naye's smiling face flashed through my mind. I furrowed my brows since I had no idea why I'd suddenly thought of her. Maybe I needed to add that thought to the things needing to be processed. Lee Naye..

 

 

Your Pov

 

 

The clock was something like 3:40 pm as I got out of the bus right in front of Mango Six. Actually I got off in front of BH entertainment and then crossed the road to get to Mango Six. After I had crossed the road, I felt my phone buzzing in my jacket's pocket. The first thought appearing my mind was angry dad texting me after hearing how I screamed to mother earlier today. I quickly dug the phone up and checked the message.

My heart skipped a beat when I read then name Kim Namjoon from the screen. Why was he texting me out of nowhere? I stopped walking and opened the text: "Can we meet later? I have a place where I'd like to go." I read his text something like three times through just to see that he really suggested that. Oh.. Do I want to see him? The thought was completely unnecessary since I was already typing him a reply telling him that I'd get out of work at 11 pm.

I had managed to walk inside of Mango Six when he'd sent another text reading: "I'll come and get you then." I couldn't hide the fact that I was over the moon because of him. I was this happy to see that he was really the one who wanted to see me first. Even if this was nothing special from Namjoon, I was still giving myself the chance to think big. He wouldn't probably think anything of it. I realized that thinking big would definitely hurt me later so I decided to try and calm myself down. He just wants to meet, nothing more.

 

 

Five hours later

 

 

As the workday proceeded, I noticed myself thinking more and more about my mother and the things I had said to her. We had a quite busy day till 9:30 pm so I had practically no time to get stuck about it. Now for the last 1,5 hour I had been constantly thinking about it, overanalyzing it and then whipping myself because of it. Normally this wouldn't happen but now that my mother had hit a sore spot inside of me, I didn't feel so good.

When the clock was 10:55 pm, I just finished counting the money in the cash register. I noticed a person walking inside so I lifted my gaze up to see properly.

 

 

"Good evening, can I--" I started but cut myself when I recognized him. He was smiling slightly, looking as great as ever. "Oh.. I'm sorry we have nothing for you." I gave him a girly smirk as he stopped in front of me.

"Whoa, what a welcome." He rolled his eyes but snorted in amusement after that.

"Fine. Do you want anything?" I asked with a smile.

"I'll take the same as you." Namjoon jerked his chin upwards. This time I rolled my eyes to him. I checked if the other worker was around but she was probably still cleaning the restrooms. 

"Sure.. I hope you'll like Chai Latte." I turned around to make the drink. "I'll make it caffeine free so it won't bother your good night sleep." I took a glimpse of him over my shoulder and saw him smiling in amusement .

"Good night sleep? You're so thoughtful, thank you Naye-ah." He acted.

"Stop it.. I really am trying to be considering of your health." I snickered as I finished doing the drinks as fast as possible. I handed them to Namjoon and turned to the cash register. I turned it off.

"I don't need to pay?" Namjoon eyed the cups in his hands.

"It's on me." I stuck out my tongue. "Kim Mijung! Are you done? Can we leave?" I exclaimed which obviously startled Namjoon. For a second we waited in silence till she ran up from the back.

"All done! Let's go." Mijung told to me smiling while carrying the mop in her arms. Soon her gaze fell to Namjoon who was still standing there with the drinks in his hands. "Oh.. Kim Namjoon-ssi." She bowed to him.

"Hey.." Namjoon nodded to her with a smile.

"Okay let's change quickly." I nudged my head to the changing area. I turned to Namjoon. "Don't break anything. I'll be done in two." I grinned to him and rushed to the changing area with Mijung.

 

 

Soon we were all outside and I was done with locking the doors. Mijung rushed off almost immediately when we got out. I didn't know what her deal was but ever since she saw Namjoon, she'd become extremely awkward. I didn't let the thought bother me too long since we started to leave together.

I didn't know where he was about to take me but I guessed it wouldn't take too long to walk since we didn't stay and wait for the bus. I sipped my Chai Latte which Namjoon had handed to me a bit earlier.

 

 

"Chai Latte is such a fall and winter drink." I stated suddenly and turned to look at Namjoon who was walking on my right.

"You're right.. Why did you want this? It's spring already?" Namjoon asked with this calm steady voice.

"Because it gives me this warm kind of feeling." I smiled with my eyes and turned to face forwards. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"Just for a walk." He said but didn't seem to be very into it.

"Is everything okay?" I asked and saw him focusing on me for the first time after leaving the cafe.

"With me? Is everything okay with you should be the question.." Namjoon pointed out and I bit my lips together as an answer. Namjoon read me quickly and gave me this understanding look. "It's not, is it?"

"Well.. Partly yes and but then also no." I mumbled finally. "My mother is okay for now. She woke up and all.."

"..but?" Namjoon guided me.

"But I think I made my dad angry and then my mother.." I let out a small groan and sipped my drink.

"What did you do then?" He asked and I could hear him being slightly curious, it was also something I could rarely point from his voice.

"I told the truth but not in the kindest way possible.. I actually.. I hurt dad with my harsh words, I mean-- I understand that he loves my mother but I can see that he's hurting because of that love and I--" I cut myself off when I found out what I was doing. It took me a while to catch up my breath.

"You don't need to.. If it's hard." I heard Namjoon's calm words so I turned to look at him. He was looking somewhere forwards, where we were going. 

"I.." I was about to start but then something got in my mind. "Hah." I let out a small chuckle.

"Huh?" I heard Namjoon questioning so I turned to him only to meet his gaze halfway.

"It just suddenly popped into my mind." I was now smiling while trying to stay somewhat serious.

"What exactly?" He looked amused.

"I just remembered the first night I was walking home with you. It was my first shift at Mango Six and you had visited the place.. Then you stuck by me as I was walking home." I explained and saw him nodding slowly.

"You thought of me as Min Yoongi and everything, what a nice thing for you to remember." Namjoon teased so I pushed him gently with my free hand.

"Yaaah.." I whined. "I was just thinking how easy it is to talk to you now.. Even back then you respected my boundaries and everything -- you're doing it still." I smiled and turned to look forwards again.

"Right.." He hummed and it followed a great silence before he was ready to continue. "It's because everyone is their own persona and everyone reacts to things their own ways. I don't push people to talk if they don't want to but I'll listen them if they're willing to open up." He continued and sounded really thoughtful.

"I.. I kind of wanted to tell you some things even back then.. It just felt.. Somewhat right I guess?" I chuckled but noticed how awkward I had suddenly become. I hoped he wouldn't think anything of it.

"I get you." Namjoon just noted so I dared to take a glimpse of him. He was smiling slightly. Phew.

"But yeah.. I've come to a conclusion that my mother is purposely not willing to get help because she somehow enjoys the attention she gets by being like this." I explained but then realized that it wouldn't give anything for Namjoon to go on. "..I know that you won't probably understand what am I even talking about but.. I don't think this is my time to.............. Because I--" I suddenly felt my words getting stuck in my throat. It became hard for me to breath so I needed to stop walking. Namjoon followed me by stopping as well.

"Naye-ah.. Calm down, I know okay." He started and I felt his hand finding its way to my left arm. Namjoon squeezed my arm in his hold gently as I evened out my breathing.

"I-I.. I really want to tell you about this all but.." I told quietly and finally lifted my gaze to meet his. All my thoughts disappeared when our gazes met. 

"I'm going to listen well when you're ready." Namjoon's words were steady and calming. I had never seen this much compassion in his eyes than what I saw now. It was different from the pity I used to get back when everything went south. This look gave me so much more than that. His eyes told me that he really understood what I was feeling right now.

"Thank you.." I whispered and felt his hand dropping off from my arm.

"Let's go." He smiled to me and turned to look forwards. Was I the only one who felt it? Did he feel it too? The connection in between was real. ..or am I thinking too big?

 

 

An hour later

 

 

[Sunday, 1st of April]

 

 

I dug up my phone to check the time as we arrived to this huge bridge. The clock was already 12:10 am. I placed my phone back to my bag and focused to the bridge which we were now crossing. The place seemed very familiar to me even when I was quite sure that I hadn't been here before. I turned to look at Namjoon who was now all quiet. I suddenly decided to walk to the railing on our right.

I leaned my forearms against the railing and stared at the view.

 

 

"Whoa." I whispered and thought about all the nice places Namjoon had already showed to me.

"You know where this is?" I heard Namjoon's voice on my left so I gave a quick look to his direction. He had followed me and leaned his hands to the railing.

"I have no idea but it's like I've seen it somewhere.. Maybe in some TV-show?" I guessed and heard him snort.

"It's Banpo Bridge." Namjoon corrected me and I noticed his body turning to my direction. I saw his movement from the side of my eye but still kept my eyes fixed on the river in front of me.

"Is there a reason why you wanted to visit this specific bridge at this time? I asked playfully but when I didn't hear an answer, I turned to look at him again. His expression was so devastated that my heart skipped a beat. "Oh.. I'm.. I mean.. Do you want to..?" I turned to face him properly, letting go of the railing beside me.

"You never asked.." Namjoon started but didn't finish his sentence. I saw how he forced himself to smile but it only lasted for maybe two seconds. He turned to look at the river as if he needed to end the sentence but he didn't know how to. You never asked? I thought long and hard what he might've meant by that but when his gaze stopped on mine again, I got it. Just by looking at him, I was quite sure what he meant by that.

"I never asked what happened to your parents because I thought I didn't deserve to know. You shared so much but I gave you nothing in return.." I told honestly and saw how his eyes flickered. He seemed highly taken aback. For a while we just looked at each other while I was wondering what to say next. I didn't want to seem like a psycho. "I meant--"

"Naye-ah.." He whispered almost inaudible. My heart skipped another beat.

"..." I didn't know what to say so I took a step closer to him instead.

"Don't ever think like that.. It's not business but things that people talk about." Namjoon seemed a bit relaxed even if he was still slightly in vain.

"I won't anymore!" I raised my voice slightly but not because I was annoyed or wanted to argue. I was panicking that this situation would turn out badly. "What happened to your parents after they took you to live with your grandmother?" I dared to ask the question.

"My father is locked up and my mother is living in Daejeon. I haven't seen my father ever since we got separated and my mother.." Namjoon paused and it obviously wasn't easy for him to talk about.

"I'm sure the happenings caused something.." I helped him and saw him nodding slowly after my statement.

"My mother is in a Psychiatric hospital. I don't think she'll be able to get out at this point.." Namjoon shook his head and let out a heavy sigh.

"Have you..... Been seeing her?" I asked slowly not knowing if it was appropriate to even ask.

"Yes.. Only twice a year since she's been getting some exacerbating symptoms whenever she's seen me." He told and I bit my lips together. That was horrible.

"Is it something to do with her connecting you to your father?" I mumbled, not wanting to hear about this anymore. At least I still have my mother.. Namjoon barely has his.

"So they say.." Namjoon nodded once and this time I saw his eyes glistening.

"Namjoon.." I groaned painfully. He looked down to me and we met gazes. "W-why..?" I was about to ask why he was telling me this, but he had probably read my expression with an instant.

"I'm telling you this because I want you to know that.. I barely let people in my life-- since I can't deal with them leaving it." Namjoon's words shattered my heart.

"I know.." I whispered, now tears in my eyes. "I've known ever since I saw you for the first time." I lowered my gaze and exhaled shakily. "I can see it on your face when looking at you.. You've hidden it well from others." I told now staring at the asphalt under our feet.

"W-what?" He sounded somehow dumbfounded.

"I'm sorry for saying what I just said.." I felt my knees getting weak.

"Naye?" I felt a proper grip on my right arm as Namjoon's hand was holding me up partly.

"I'm okay it's just.." I lifted my gaze back up to meet his. His eyes were going back and forth trying to figure out if I was still conscious. I placed my right hand back on the railing while Namjoon was still holding me tightly. I noticed how close he was standing now. There was barely any room in between our bodies. "I felt your emotions way harder than I thought I would." I said weakly.

"So you've felt that too..?" Namjoon asked but he clearly didn't ask that from me. It seemed like he was wondering about it out loud. His brows were now forming some sort of a line.

"I wanted to tell you that there is and will be people who won't get out of your life, even if you maybe wanted them to." I let out a relieved chuckle. Namjoon's frown became deeper. He was now moving his gaze slowly around my face, like studying every bit of it.

"How can you be so sure?" Namjoon's voice was quiet but husky as his gaze moved to mine again.

"I think I'm already a part of it.." I started quietly and felt how my lip corners twitched upwards. Namjoon opened his mouth like he wanted to say something but then gave up. "And I won't leave, even if you'd want me to." I ended with a bit lighter tone in my voice so it wouldn't seem too serious.

 "..." Namjoon's expression was once again this one which was hard for me to read, not impossible, but hard. He scanned the area around me while looking very serious. It didn't take long till he shot his gaze to mine. I felt something move inside of my body when I was standing this close to him under his strong gaze. I gave a look to my arm which was still in his hold before looking back at him.

 

 

I wasn't quite sure where this whole situation was about to go since neither of us hadn't said anything for a good while. I let myself study his facial features now properly and moved my gaze slowly around his face. I landed my eyes to his but soon it had fallen down to his lips. When I realized what I had just done, I lifted my gaze back up. Namjoon looked thoughtful and pained at the same time. I felt my eyes widen when I realized what he might've been thinking. Namjoon's mouth opened slightly so I decided to understand it as a sign. Not hesitating anymore, I stood up on my toes and pressed my lips against his.

I kissed him carefully and then pulled myself back down. I opened my eyes to see his expression which wasn't so good. This was the moment where I wasn't quite sure if I needed to laugh or cry. Which one would be more forgivable? Namjoon clenched his jaw and I noticed how his gaze wasn't wavering at all. I saw how his eyes shifted to the side before he let out a small sigh.

I was way too fascinated to do anything else than to study him. Just then I felt him gripping my arm and pulling my body against him roughly. It didn't take long before he was already leaning down to meet his lips with mine. I saw how he closed his eyes as he kissed me deeply. This all happened in a flash so I felt like I couldn't handle the situation properly. My thoughts trailed off when Namjoon opened his mouth. I closed my eyes and let out a faint gasp as I answered to his kiss. Namjoon didn't hold back and I followed his lead without second thoughts. This was something that I had been wanting to do for a while now.

I felt his right hand finding its way to my jaw line and then him kissing me harder. I furrowed my brows and let out another gasp as his tongue started playing with mine. We were in public but somehow I didn't care about anything or anyone else. I only flowed in the moment and enjoyed it entirely. I had now placed my left hand on his neck, holding him closer. Soon Namjoon started to withdraw from me. I heard him panting faintly but I didn't dare to open my eyes just yet. Before I had the time to catch my breath, I felt him kissing the area behind my ear slowly but then withdrawing fully. Now I knew that..

 

 

I really liked him.

 

 

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