[Friday, 30th of March]

 

 

Your Pov

 

 

I was making my way towards the cafeteria with Alyssa by my side. Alyssa was nodding her head on the beat of silent music. I felt my body shaking all the way down to my toes as I thought of the upcoming challenge. I needed to sing in front of the whole class and it was just an hour away. Namjoon's words flashed through my mind the same as the happenings yesterday evening. Naye sing my song, please. I felt myself shivering even more.

 

 

Flashback, yesterday

 

 

"W-what?" I managed to stutter after Namjoon's words. I had turned around to face him again. My body was stiff like an ice stick as I waited for his continuation. Namjoon walked closer to me and stopped, when he could've reached me if he wanted to.

"Your voice.. I'd like to use it." He said calmly so I furrowed my brows, not really understanding where this was going.

"But I can't.." As soon as I started, I felt like collapsing to the ground. "..I can't sing." I continued and held my head with my hand.

"You just did." Namjoon shot so I shook my head to him. "Can you remember the feeling you felt when you sang my song?" He continued and kept his tone low and steady.

"I-I..." I started but realized what he meant. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out.

"Name the first three things that comes to mind." He cocked his brow and studied me quietly. "One, two, three--"

"Compassion, sorrow...." I paused for a moment and took a glimpse of him. "And you." I could see Namjoon's eyes flickering. I bet he wasn't expecting that.

"Wow." He just sighed after a while of standing in silence.

"I'm sorry." I told so quietly that it was even hard for me to hear.

"No it's not that.. It's just.." Namjoon started and suddenly a smirk appeared on his face. "I'm pretty flattered you sing so well when thinking of me." He chuckled once.

"Wait.." My jaw dropped slightly. "I really sang just now?" I finally got to the point, ignoring Namjoon's statement.

"You sure did." He shrugged.

"But how..?" I mumbled and took another glimpse of him before focusing on my breathing. I tried to sing something, anything, but it was no use. I could only whisper them out. I shook my head in disbelief.

"The reason is one of those three thoughts you had." Namjoon stated after my little moment. I immediately thought of him and felt my cheeks heating up. I turned to look anywhere but him. I heard him chuckling. "It might be the first one.. Compassion. If you can understand someone's heart then you can convey them by singing." He thought out loud but I didn't give him an answer.

"..." My eyes was locked on him as my head went through what I had just heard. Maybe it was both? What if I was being compassionate because it was him? 

"What?" Namjoon's gaze met mine.

"Nothing.." I shook my head and thought of tomorrow and the start-up test. "On second thought.. Are you going to be in our start-up test tomorrow too?" 

"Yeah, why?" He asked with a static tone.

"Oh.. No, it's nothing." I bit my lips together and twisted them to a smile. If Namjoon is going to be there maybe I can do it? But how?

 

 

Flashback end

 

 

I was trying to convince myself that I indeed could do it but now that the time was so close, I felt more and more insecure. I hadn't been capable to sing after yesterday. I didn't know what made that situation so special back then.

Just when we were about to step inside of the cafeteria, I felt my phone vibrating in my jacket's pocket. I signaled Alyssa that she should go inside first before heading further away from the cafeteria. I placed the phone to my ear.

 

 

"Hi dad." I started. I could hear dad panting on the other side wildly. "Is everything okay?"

"Naye-ah! I couldn't get in touch with Hayi so I'm calling to let you know that--" Dad cut himself off and I heard how the atmosphere around him changed. It was like he'd stepped inside of a building or so.

"Dad?? What has happened?" I started to panic slightly.

"It's your mother." With that I felt something moving inside of me. It was like I wanted to puke but couldn't really do that.

"What happened??" I asked as I started to head towards the main gates. I needed to get to wherever they were.

"She had collapsed.. And.. And I found her later but couldn't.. I couldn't wake her up so I called an ambulance and.." Dad stopped talking. I bit my lips together and didn't know if it was because of sadness or frustration.

"Which hospital?" I hurried.

"Gwangju hospital." He said.

"I'm on my way." I heard my voice shaking as I said those words.

"You don't need to! I'm here with Soyi-ah." Dad explained but I only shook my head to that even if he couldn't see it.

"I'll get there somehow. Bye." I cut the call off and clenched my teeth. I started to run towards the nearest bus stop without thinking anything else. I need to get there fast. Why did this happen just now?

 

 

Namjoon's Pov

 

 

The clock was 1 pm as I was standing next to Ali and Hoseok in the same classroom as last week. I had been gazing the classroom through as more students made their way inside. I still couldn't see Naye anywhere. I gave a quick glance to Ali who looked as cold as always.

 

 

"Okay class. Like everyone knows, we'll continue with the start-up tests. The last five of you will perform today." Ali paused and looked at us for a moment. "If the visiting judges are ready, we should start. First up Kim Eunchan." Ali ordered. I turned to look at the door and sighed. Did she run off like last time or did something really happen? I bit my lips together and focused myself on the student who was about to perform.

 

 

30 minutes later

 

 

"Okay now that all five, I mean four of you have performed, let's keep a short 10 minutes break." Ali told and turned to us. I lowered my gaze to the floor and just were. In the end she didn't show up.

"Is that it?" Hoseok asked and yawned.

"Yes. Lee Naye didn't show up, again. I guess I need to kick her out of this class." Ali stated sternly. "I mean c'mon, this is ridiculous." She continued.

"It is a bit weird.." Hoseok mumbled and I lifted my gaze back up.

"Ali noona.." I started and waited for her to turn to me.

"What do you want?" She asked and shook her head already.

"Haha." Hoseok pointed at me. "You do have the look on your face."

"Can you give one more chance to Lee Naye? She is a diamond but just needs some refining. I think something happened to her that she couldn't come. I don't see any other explanations." I ended the plea.

"Whoa Namjoon-ah..." Ali pointed out and smirked. "Since when have you decided to include yourself in other's business?" Ali chuckled in amusement.

"Well yeah, tell me about it." I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"I'd like to agree with Namjoonie.." Hoseok noted.

"Hmph you guys.." Ali just laughed. "Why do you do this? Is this really for her or for you?" She pointed at me but I just smiled to her suspiciously.

"I think he has heard her singing and just needs to get confirmation of her talents. So I'd guess for him." Hoseok winked to me.

"Yah.." I snorted. "It's for both of us. Please Ali." I asked once more. Ali took a thinking expression.

"Well.. Give me a week and I'll figure out something. But don't think she'll get an easy pass, I'm intending to make this pretty hard for her." She smirked almost evilly.

"Don't be too harsh." Hoseok grimaced playfully.

"If Namjoon is going to coach her for this, I'll need to make it at least a bit challenging." Ali shot which caused Hoseok to turn to me looking confused.

"Huh? Coach her? What do you mean noona?" Hoseok asked from Ali even though his gaze was fixed on me.

"Hmph." Ali just scoffed and turned to her desk.

"Ali is right.. I think Naye might need my help to be able to sing in front of so many people." I told and moved my gaze to Hoseok lazily. Hoseok's eyes widened.

"You're smitten!" He pointed at me and I heard Ali laughing to his statement. I turned to look away from them and ruffled my hair lightly. Am I?

"Ehm.. Well.. I'll get going now. Let's be in touch with the continuation." I told to Ali.

"I'll call you." She smirked and I shook my head to her.

"I can't believe my own eyes.. I've never seen him like that." I heard Hoseok's words behind me as I walked out of the classroom. It wasn't that bad, right?

 

 

After calling many times to Naye but it always ending up to be unattainable, I turned to Hayi. Hayi gladly answered and told me to meet at the Department of Performance. Gladly I was already at the right building. I was now making my way to the main entrance as fast as I could without needing to run.

When I got to the main hallway, I saw Hayi standing there already. 

 

 

"Hayi-ah!" I exclaimed as I came closer. Hayi turned her attention to me.

"Namjoon.." She seemed a bit down.

"Is there something we couldn't speak on the phone or why did want to see me?" I asked as I stopped in front of her.

"Well.. My father just called me that our mother is at the hospital." Hayi told and I frowned.

"I'm sorry to hear." I said and tilted my head to her.

"My main concern here is the fact that dad told Naye first and she decided to leave to Gwangju apparently.. I don't know how she is going to do that." She said and sounded somehow frustrated, not worried.

"Why it's a concern?" I narrowed my eyes slightly.

"Naye has this nasty temper when it comes to our mother.. I bet she's very irritated now and I feel like something might happen to her if I'm not there with her.. But I can't leave just now. I told dad that I was going to be there after the classes since he said it was nothing serious." Hayi explained and I nodded to her slowly.

"So basically you'd like Naye to get to Gwangju safely?" I asked and saw her eyes widening.

"If you think what I think you do, you don't have to. You've already done a lot of stuff to me before, I owe you so bad." She said quietly.

"Don't think of it like that. I don't have anything special till the night so I can help." I smiled to her slightly.

"Thank you -- again." Hayi lowered her gaze defeated.

"Do you know where she is?" 

 

 

After making a quick call on the bus to BH entertainment, I got out of the bus and met BTS's manager in front of the company. He met me halfway and gave me the keys to Jin's car. I thanked him and rushed to the parking hall.

It didn't take long till I arrived to the railway station. I parked my car in one of the temporary parking lots and fast walked inside of the station. While walking towards the main departures hall, I tried to call Naye. She still didn't answer.

Gladly I arrived to Gwangju's departure point faster than I thought. I saw her squeezing her phone in her hands while moving her gaze wildly around the area. I felt bad to see her like that. She was clearly stressing the heck out of this situation. I snorted with relief as I made my way closer to her. When I was only a few feet away from her, I reached my right hand to her jean jacket's sleeve. I took a grip and jerked it gently just to get her to notice me. 

 

 

"W-who?" She swirled around breaking my hold on her jacket. When her gaze fell on mine, I felt this sudden pain rushing through my body just by looking at her eyes. I was a bit taken aback which made me take an actual step backwards.

"Naye-ah." I whispered almost inaudible. What are you doing to me?

 

 

Your Pov

 

 

After being dragged by my sleeve away from the departure point where I was happily waiting for my train to arrive, I broke off from his hold. We had come out of the station and were now standing near the closest parking lot. I turned to give Namjoon a mean look.

 

 

"You can't talk me out of this, okay?" I confirmed but he didn't say anything, just observed my facial features. "Yah.. What's your deal? Why couldn't we talk by the tracks?" I asked and saw him smiling slyly.

"I was going to offer you a ride since it takes another twenty minutes for the train to arrive...." Namjoon guided. My eyes widened to the thought.

"Really? You'd do that for me??" I bit my lips together while trying to hide the tears of happiness. 

"I won't be doing it for free." His smile disappeared which got me confused. I furrowed my brows slightly.

"Then.. I can pay for you?" I suggested but saw him shaking his head.

"I need you to give me honest answers for the next few questions I'm about to ask. How does that sound like?" Namjoon cocked his brow.

"Did that one count?" I tried to get out of it as easily as I could.

"Ha-ha. Are you down?" He ignored my latest statement.

"Fine." I exhaled heavily and waited for the first question.

"Did running off the start-up test bother you at all?" The question was as harsh as Namjoon's tone. I was quite taken aback.

"Um.." I was about to say something but saw his serious look becoming darker.

"Were you just happy that this situation occurred so you had a chance to run off?" He continued with the prickly words. I felt something stinging me inside of my heart.

"H-how can you say t-that?" I was about to get frustrated but then I remembered the time before when Namjoon made me feel angry so he could get truthful answers to his questions. This situation didn't need any flaming emotions. I needed to put a lot off effort into it, but I managed to calm down my rising anger. "I never wanted this to happen and yes, I felt bad that I couldn't even try to sing... In front of you." I admitted and saw his expression still being as cold as ice.

"Okay then the next one.. Are you ready to do whatever it takes to sing again?" This next question got me off guard after the last one.

"Of course! What do you think of me as?" I said those words easily, it didn't take long to answer.

"Even if you feel like giving up? Even if it becomes hopeless over night? Even if someone has to put you to your knees just so you could try and get up?" This time his voice didn't sound harsh but extremely stern. I lowered my gaze to the floor and gulped hardly. I wanted to say yes to those three questions but I started to doubt myself. What if I can't do it?

"I... I want to say yes but.." I felt my voice becoming shaky as I added more words to the sentence. I didn't feel like crying but I did feel this supremely nasty weakness spreading around my body.

"But?" Namjoon guided me.

"..but what if I just can't do it?" I asked out loud.

"Naye-ah--" Namjoon was about to start but I cut him off by locking my gaze with his. Namjoon fell silent instantly.

"I-I'm afraid.. That I can't d-do it on my own.." I told so quietly that it was almost like a whisper. Namjoon's eyes widened slightly. I was nowhere near crying. I just felt like collapsing to the ground because of the sudden weakness. I lowered my gaze down to the asphalt and inhaled shakily.

"Naye-ah.." I heard him saying softly but didn't lift my gaze to meet his.

"Don't f-feel sorry for m-me even if I may seem p-pitiful." Now it was hard for me to say those words. Admitting that you need help. Admitting your weaknesses to someone means you're acknowledging them. I wasn't quite ready for it apparently. Just then I saw how Namjoon mover his right hand to take a hold of my left forearm. I didn't look up until I felt him squeezing my arm in his hold gently. I slowly raised my head up and met gazes with him. He was looking at me with this different kind of comfort in his eyes. I furrowed my brows and just were, not even trying to break free from his strong gaze. I guess I liked it like that.

"I'll help you to sing again." He took a step closer, still holding my forearm in his hold. Namjoon pulled me roughly towards him so my body hit his. My jaw was now lying on his neck area as he continued:

 

 

"I promise."

 

 

---