Namjoon's Pov

 

 

"..because I was worried about you." Naye said with a straight face and it seemed like she didn't hesitate her answer for a second. I felt something getting stuck in my throat as I finally moved my gaze away from hers. She had given me those eyes that horrified me in a way. Naye had shown so genuine honesty and concern within her eyes. I hadn't been prepared for neither.

"..." I tried to calculate my next answer so that she couldn't turn it back at me somehow.

"Why? You didn't think anyone would be worried?" Naye asked before I could give her my answer. She had made something move inside of me. 

"Actually.. I didn't." I told honestly and chuckled after it so it would seem that I didn't take the situation too seriously.

"Well you thought wrong.. I'm sorry if I'm being a nuisance right now but for me this whole thing seemed a bit odd. I feel like I talked with everyone and they all said the same thing: that you were probably just fine, taking a break. I'm annoyed with myself since you seem to breath and live fine when I thought something bad had happened. I'm also annoyed that I didn't believe your friends since they obviously know you better than I do.. That is why I got so worried and it was over nothing? I'm happy to see you alright, it's not that.. It's just.." Naye said all those things so fast that it was pretty hard for me to keep up. She paused for a second and took a glimpse of my expression before continuing. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore.. I'm sorry that I disturbed you." She said and I saw how she rushed the two steps up and out of the studio. For a few seconds I just stood there processing Naye's words just now. 

"Naye?" I asked as I followed her to the living room. I saw how she was putting on her shoes right now. "Lee Naye." I said with a steady voice. She stopped and stood up straight to face me. I saw something which got me a bit taken aback. Naye's eyes were glistering, again. I hadn't seen her like this before. Even when we were at the campus' yard, she wiped off the sadness which I knew she was carrying with her then. I didn't know how to relate to this but I didn't like to see her hurting like that.

"..." Naye stood there like she had froze to the spot as I made my way closer to her. Something in her got me feeling this unfamiliar type of way. It felt like she was hooking me in with her eyes and right now when I saw her getting teary, I was almost sharing her emotion. It kind of hurt me as well. Her eyes were so deep in telling the way she felt that it somehow shook me. I saw it earlier as well. When she told so honestly that she had been worrying over me. The gaze she gave me during the sentence was so real that I had no doubts that she didn't feel that way.

"It's still raining heavily and you don't seem to have an umbrella.." Was the opening I decided to use. "..and the hot chocolate I made is not so hot soon.. At least drink it before you go?" I suggested and saw her lowering her gaze. As soon as she looked away from me, I felt like the hook came off. The way she was delivering emotion was very strong.

"..." She didn't say anything but kicked her shoe off and walked to the cup I had placed on the coffee table. I grabbed the other one and took a sip of it before focusing on Naye again. I found this girl quite interesting now that I thought about it.

"It's actually pretty nice to have someone around for a change." I decided to say just to see how she would react.

"I'm still sorry that I just barged in like that.. I let my emotions get the best of me -- I can control them pretty well usually." She explained now sounding pretty much normal. Controlling emotions? She's really trapping them inside.

"I see where you're coming from and I appreciate you worrying about me.. I wasn't expecting it since my friends know what I am like when I need to focus on my work." I explained and saw Naye's brows forming now a straight line. "Hmm.. I better show it to you since I can't explain it that well. Follow me." 

 

 

Your Pov

 

 

I eyed Namjoon's confident movements as he sat down to the chair in his studio. He had pushed the other chair next to his which had been sitting in the corner before. Namjoon started clicking some files open from the computer as I sat down to the chair next to him. I studied Namjoon and his facial features.

He was indeed handsome and exactly the type I found attractive, because he didn't really belong in any particular category. There was so much in him that I valued in a person and I bet there was so many things more that I just didn't know about yet.

 

 

"Here." Namjoon suddenly said and gave me a quick look. I turned to look at the screen in front of me. I saw a file which had words written on it, verses for a song actually.

"What is this?" I asked as I studied it through superficially.

"This is the thing I've been working on for these past... Whatever days, and I'm still not nearly done." He said as I met gazes with him.

"So for the past five days you've been in here working? Did you decide to ignore the rest of the world at the same?" I found the last sentence funny so I smiled slightly.

"It's my way of working sometimes." Namjoon shrugged. "If I need to focus on some particular emotion or story and I have so many other things in the works at the same time, I get overwhelmed. That's when I just separate myself from the rest of the world, like you said. I haven't been able to concentrate as you can see since it's day.. What did you say? Five? ..and I'm still not ready." He rubbed his neck as if he was being embarrassed.

"Is your phone turned off then? I sent you a text but.." I was about to say it but he nodded before I managed to finish. I saw him reaching out for the phone which was placed far on his right. Namjoon opened the phone and when the screen lightened up I saw so many missed calls and texts. "Whoa." I exhaled heavily.

"It's been a bit busy lately since BTS is having their comeback and all.." Namjoon mumbled and then it hit me. 

"Oh riiiight... BTS is under BH entertainment as well. So that last DNH member also works at the same company as you and Yoongi and Hoseok." I realized. I saw Namjoon nodding once but his face didn't show any emotion. "Hmm.. You must work with them pretty regularly." I guessed and again moved the subject away from that guy.

"Every time the company is thinking of an upcoming comeback." He told and I saw him hitting his left hand's fingers against the desk gently.

"I like most of their songs." I pointed out and saw him cocking his brow to me before looking away while smiling.

"Are you trying to flatter me?" Namjoon asked and I gave him a proper smile.

"Was it so easy to spot?" I snickered.

"I told you not to act." He shot and I acted hurt.

"Woah.." I shook my head.

"That's not convincing either." He didn't whitewash his opinions which was a trait I valued in a person. Apparently I hadn't been so subtle with my observing since he was now giving me this questioning look.

"I like it when people speak for their minds and not just gloss over the things they need to say. I appreciate when people are honest." I explained and Namjoon raked his hair through with his hand before turning to me again.

"Same. You're like that too." He noted and after that my heart skipped a beat. Calm down. It didn't mean a thing. "Have you always been like that?" He continued and I was surprised by the fact he even asked anything.

"I guess so. I don't remember all the things back when I was little but I would dare to say yes." I told and realized something. "It has always been so that people did it to me and I ended up being too naive when I believed their words or didn't catch the hint.. Apparently you can't assume anyone speaking the absolute truth." I chuckled but it wasn't very funny for my opinion. Lately I had found some of those qualities in myself too and it made me sad.

"I can see you being like that." Namjoon nodded for approval and turned to look at the words on the screen. "If you'd like to read it through and give me feedback, I'd appreciate that." He continued softly so I followed his gaze and finally took a proper look at the lyrics he had written already. He had marked some notes as well so it was easier for me to read as I could find the right melody for it.

 

 

I read the lyrics through from the beginning to the end which was the second verse which was maybe halfway done. He had copied the chorus to the end but he had obviously left a blank space for the end of the verse two. I bit my lips together as I felt the words moving me somehow. I gulped and read them one more time so slowly that I could focus on every word and see where the impression lied. 

Namjoon was obviously very talented or well taught, or both. I felt my eyes stinging as I kept on going forwards. Moonchild, you shine. When moon rise, it's your time. The words were cutting through me like I was soft butter. The lyrics were so genuine that it hit me deeply.

 

 

"Even thinking that you shouldn't think.. That in itself is a thought, you know...... That in fact we're fated like this, you know.." I read those lines out loud and felt a tear sliding down on my cheek, again. When I said that I didn't usually cry, I really meant it. Lately I'd been way too emotional as if I couldn't control my feelings at all. "Oh my gosh.." I whispered as I wiped the tears off of me face.

"Naye?" I heard his soft voice asking from my right.

"I'm fine. It's just.." I lifted my gaze to meet his. Namjoon opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He just looked at me as I did the same to him. "I'm sure you can figure out the rest. You delivered the feeling behind those words so well that I.." I motioned my face with my hands and chuckled once. "What is wrong with me today?" I wondered out loud and heard him snorting once.

"Was that your feedback?" He asked and bit his lower lip.

"I guess it was. I want to hear this when you've come up with the whole melody since the lyrics just.. They hit me differently." I told and saw Namjoon getting slightly more serious. He tilted his head as he looked at me. "What?" I asked and wiped my face again since I thought he saw something on there.

"You don't realize it yourself, do you..?" Namjoon said, but quietly, which left me guessing if he really meant to say those words to me or did he just accidently blurt his thoughts out loud.

"Hm?" I cocked my brow to him but saw him shaking his head slightly.

"We should get out now since it's not raining anymore." He suddenly said. I furrowed my brows slightly as he got up from his chair.

"After five days being secluded from others, you're ready to leave just like that?" I asked when I got up as well.

"I think it's better for me to move as well. I got some inspiration that you could help me out with." Namjoon explained and walked the steps up and outside. I rushed after him.

"Wait.." I whined as I caught up to him. "How can I help you? You're the mastermind here and I'm just.. Well me." I said as I realized that there was nothing to go on. I wasn't anything compared to him yet.

"You don't need to be anyone else than yourself." He gave me this meaningful look before turning around to put his shoes on.

"O-okay." I almost choked since his words left such an impact to me. I didn't want to admit it, even to myself, since I knew my upcoming feelings would only get stronger if I did that. Even if I spoke without whitewashing my words, I was very good at keeping my thoughts inside if I wanted to. This was one of the things I'd like to keep to myself for now. If he happened to ask it though, I would tell him the truth.

 

 

An hour later

 

 

We were once again heading somewhere unknown place for me. Week ago we were hanging out at the Seoul City Wall and right now I had no idea where Namjoon was taking me. As the bus ride was getting longer, I knew we were getting someplace important. I kept on glancing at Namjoon before every stop to see if we needed to get off but he always gave me the small shake of a head.

Now that I was sitting next to him and thinking back to the situation just a while ago, I realized that Namjoon had more traits that I liked in a person -- valued in a person. Namjoon was extremely talented but he had his feet on the ground. He was gentle with his words but also very honest. Namjoon was also quiet but loud when he needed to be. At this point the most valuable trait in him, was the confidence he owned. He himself knew his abilities but was still open for the idea of learning more and asking opinion from the more inexperienced people, like me for example. 

I snapped back to reality as Namjoon pointed at the bus' doors which had opened. I jumped up instantly and rushed out of the bus while Namjoon was following me. When the bus continued its way, Namjoon turned to me.

 

 

"Okay. Let's go." He nudged his head somewhere behind him. We started to walk towards unknown. "Look." Namjoon said as we had walked this street halfway up. I turned to look at him but for surprise he was looking somewhere back where we had just arrived. I turned to see what he was looking and gasped for the sight.

"Whoa.. Are we really that far from the downtown area?" I asked as I observed the view right in front of my eyes.

"This is my childhood home area." Namjoon told and smiled slightly to the view. "I used to come down here to see the bright buildings with my mom." He continued and turned to give me a quick glance. "Let's continue." He guided and we continued making the way up the street. I glanced the city view over my shoulder once more.

"It looks like a nice neighborhood." I said while looking at the houses behind all the gates around us.

"It was.. I had many friends I spent my days with, I was doing great in school.. Oh, those times." Namjoon sounded a bit conflicted as he ended the sentence. I turned to look at him and narrowed my eyes slightly.

"You don't really seem to miss those times.. It's like you say something and mean the other." I said and saw how he snorted which was a mix of amusement and frustration.

"Of course you'd know.." Namjoon shook his head lightly and turned to me. We had now come up to another street and continued to our right from there.

"Huh?" I furrowed my brows.

"You've been reading me lately like I'd be an open book.. I'm not sure if I like it very much." This was another uncommon situation. Namjoon had turned to be somehow evasive which wasn't a normal state I'd seen him in. He might've been flustered and a bit taken aback earlier today, but this was completely different than those others. He almost managed to get to me with his words.

"Oh.. I'm sorry. I've been too intrusive." I said and looked away from him for a second. Wait.. What does he really mean by that? "But hey wait.. I haven't been trying to read you. It's more like, you've let me see those expressions -- emotions..! Maybe you should ask yourself.. Did I let my guard down accidentally or purposely?" I stated slightly annoyed and turned to look at him.

"Hmph.." After a while staring at me, he hummed. "I guess that's fair." Namjoon continued with a small smile.

"My purpose isn't like that.. I just.. I was just genuinely worried about you which lead me to this point." I explained.

"I know.. I got a bit sensitive, I guess. "He shrugged and I smirked to him.

"A bit? Well okay.." I shook my head to him jokingly.

"Sorry.. That wasn't my intention." Namjoon grimaced to me cutely. It lasted for a second or so but it made me happy.

"Oh!" I saw the street ending. There was a rock fence at the and it was obviously there to protect the people from falling off. I left Namjoon back as I ran to the end. I could see the downtown area now far on my right. I moved my gaze to the small forest which surrounded the left side from the edge. I placed my hands against the fence and turned to look at Namjoon who was now walking to me. He didn't even try to hide the amusement on his face. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I pointed at him.

"No reason." He shook his head while grinning widely.

"Yaaah.." I whined and turned to look at the view in front of me.

"Is this really so impressive?" Namjoon asked as he followed me to the edge.

"Of course! It's all so different in Gwangju." I told and smiled before moving my attention to him.

"What it's like in Gwangju?" He asked and tilted his head while waiting for my answer.

"Hmm.." I hummed and took a thinking expression. "It's such a nice place to live that isn’t too big of a town but not rural either. Oh! There isn't many tourists around unlike here in Seoul. I think there's lot of things for everyone to be happy with.." I chuckled after my last statement.

"What's your favorite place in there?" Namjoon asked which got me curious. Why was he acting so interested?

"My absolute favorite place is the Damyang bamboo forest! I've been there many-many times." I explained and grinned to him. I had a lot of happy memories in my hometown.

"You seem happy when talking about the city." Namjoon pointed out so I bit my lips together.

"Actually.. I have way more happy memories in there than for example.. Here in Seoul." I lowered my voice after saying those last words. As soon as those words left my lips, I could see the accident happening right in front of my eyes to the point I could almost feel it. I felt lightheaded suddenly.

"Oh.. Are you okay?" I felt Namjoon's hand on my arm holding me still even though I had no problem standing up on my own. 

"Yeah.. Just thought of.. Something unpleasant." I said and smiled to him. He wasn't smiling though.

"I understand." Namjoon told quietly and let go of me. "I wish I had more of those nice memories in here." He continued and I focused on him properly.

"Are you saying that something unpleasant happened to you in here?" I gazed the area around us. I saw Namjoon turning to look at the house on our left. It was the last house before the end where we were standing.

"That was my home up until I was 10." He pointed at that exact house.

"Did you move?" I asked slowly, not knowing where this was going to go.

"I was moved." I heard his voice shaking slightly and couldn't separate sadness from anger in this case.

"But..... How?" It took me a lot of effort to ask that.

"That is actually the reason I wanted to bring you here." Namjoon stated with a cold tone in his words.

"Huh?" I frowned slightly.

"I feel like I should continue being honest.." He started but before he could continue, I cut him off.

"You really don't need to.. I mean.. You're no obliged to tell me anything. I was too nosy when I came up to your house." I told in an apologetic tone. I almost panicked when thinking that I had pushed him to his edges with my questioning earlier.

"Haha.. If you don't want to hear that's alright--" Namjoon said while chuckling a bit.

"No-no, it's not that! I just want you to know that I'm fine with everything." I cut him off again. Namjoon bit his lips together and nodded approvingly. "I-I mean that of course I'd like to hear about your life.." I added to the end and saw him breaking into a smile.

"Okay so.."

 

 

It was somewhat a miracle that he wanted to tell me the story in his past. I still didn't know him well enough to really know, but he seemed the kind of person who rarely opened up to people. As I'd continuously studied his expressions, gestures and the way he spoke, I was almost 100% sure that it was the case. What made me this curious was the fact that he was pretty mysterious.

The whole time Namjoon was telling me the happenings in his childhood, I became more and more assured that I could open up to him as well. I knew I wanted to but it was just hard to talk about those things. Apparently Namjoon had the courage to tell me, who he just got to know. It made me thinking, why? Why did he tell me? Who was I to him to get to hear these things?

Namjoon's past seemed difficult and that was me saying after hearing just a scratch. He didn't tell me the things that happened after his grandmother took him in, but the other stuff I heard, made me shiver. I didn't believe him from all the people could have gone through something like that. That is why you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

 

 

"Oh-whoa.." I managed to gasp as he ended his last sentence. Namjoon looked surprisingly calm considering all the things he had just told me. "Does your friends know about this too?" I asked and saw his eyes flickering.

"Ehm.." He turned to be uncomfortable.

"Not that it really matters!" I chuckled loudly to cover the slowly rising awkwardness around us. "Thank you for sharing that." I added to the end softly.

"Believe me or not but this helped me with the song. I knew it was a good idea to bring you here.." Namjoon managed to say just before his phone started ringing. I chuckled quietly as he dug it up.

"It didn't take long before someone started missing you again." I winked to him. He smiled to my statement all amused, before looking down at the screen.

"Ah.." Namjoon grimaced. "I need to take this. I'll be right back." He glanced at me before turning around and placing the phone to his ear. "Hey.."

 

 

I eyed how he walked way further from where I was standing. After shaking my head slightly, I decided to turn around and take a proper look at the view once more. Namjoon's childhood story made me think about my own family. We both had our struggles, not that our experiences were anything alike. I was thinking how Namjoon was so strong surviving that all by himself. I figured that I was the first outsider to know about this. Why did he tell me? If his closest friends didn't even know, what made me so special?

I chuckled to my own thought. What was I thinking? Maybe Namjoon just used me as a chance to make progress in his work. What if it wasn't that big of a deal anyway? Or maybe Namjoon was only now ready to talk about it and I just happened to barge into his house earlier. It hurt my head to think this much.

My thoughts wondered away from Namjoon's possible motives back to his childhood. No one wants to be witnessing domestic violence. I bit my lower lip as I now thought it deeper. Namjoon had just told me very sad story in his past with a straight face. His expression didn't change the entire time. I bet he was hurting but kept himself cool. It must've been hard. I felt my eyes getting teary, again. At this point I guess it's just the day. This is not normal for me.

 

 

"C'mon Naye." I said quietly out loud. I exhaled heavily and closed my eyes. "Think of.. Think of something else.." I mumbled and remembered Namjoon's upcoming song. How did it go again? "Moonchild you shine -- when you rise, it's your time. C'mon yo. Moonchild don't cry -- when moon rise, it's your time~~"

 

 

Namjoon's Pov

 

 

Apparently my absence was finally being noticed around our company as well. After my small chat with Bang CEO, I was now heading back to Naye. I told him that I'd be back at the company on next Monday. I also told him about my latest project which basically demanded me to seclude myself a bit. Bang CEO understood straight away and explained the sudden call. He said that everyone else was starting to worry about me. I found it a bit funny.

I was only few feet away from Naye when I heard it.

 

 

"Moonchild you shine -- when you rise, it's your time." Naye was humming the lyrics with my unfinished melody. I stopped walking and just listened. She remembers the lyrics? I wondered where this was going when Naye continued: "C'mon yo." She said that with a bit more strength in her voice.

"..." She could be a pretty decent rapper. I thought and was about to continue walking but couldn't move when I heard what was coming.

"Moonchild don't cry -- when moon rise, it's your time~~" Naye was now singing the lyrics with so much emotion that it got my whole body on shivers. I swallowed hardly as I listened how she sang the last words higher. She made it seem way too easy. Naye was controlling her voice in detail. 

"I.." I remembered Hayi's words way back when we had the talk about helping Naye to sing again. I know she can sing. I've always envied her since she has the purity in her voice and she doesn't need to put an effort on sharing her emotions to the listener when she sings. Apparently Naye had that exact talent. "Naye.." I managed to whisper. You're extraordinary.

 

 

Your Pov

 

 

"Naye.." I heard Namjoon calling behind me. I swirled around so fast that I almost fell.

"A-ah.. Namjoon I.." I stopped talking when I realized that his expression was a bit odd. He was staring at me for a while but soon dropped his gaze to the ground. He seemed to be somewhat still lost in thought. Why is he looking like that?

"..." Namjoon wasn't still saying anything which got me slowly freaking out. Did I do something? Then it hit me.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so-so sorry Namjoon." I bowed to him with my neck. He looked even more confused if that was possible.

"What?" He frowned.

"It was out of tune, right?" I bit my lower lip. "And to your song.. What was I thinking?" I shook my head while avoiding his gaze. I decided to start walking away because of the embarrassment. For few seconds I just walked forwards in silence.

"Naye wait.." I heard his words behind me but didn't want to face him just yet. "Naye stop for a second!" Namjoon exclaimed so I stopped walking. His next sentence made my heart skip a beat. "Naye.."

 

 

"..sing my song, please."

 

 

---

A/N: Moonchild for you to listen.