Author's Note: I had so much fun writing this chapter. I would love to know what you think about it. Looking forward to your comments. ;)

P.S. Don't hate me ~

I got a call from my manager telling me to meet up with a certain VIP. He didn’t tell me who it was, or the reason for the meeting. He basically just stated that I need to meet with this person. Period. I don’t know if it’s another fan who has connections. It probably is. This wouldn’t be the first time anyway. This time feels different though. I don’t feel good about this, but I go anyway.

I came early to the agreed place. Some kind of a posh café. I was told to proceed to the second floor, which seems to be reserved just for this meeting. My hunch that it’ll be another fan solidifies so it eases the ominous feeling. Last time this kind of thing happened, it was the whole Block B gang that met a daughter of a chaebol in a club. It was very uncomfortable since the girl treated us like her escorts for her birthday, and she took advantage of every moment. Just the memory makes me cringe. Imagine the seven of us acting like we’re fighting for the girl. Yes, she made us do that. In exchange, she assured us nothing about the party will leak out. Thank the heavens that she kept her word.

I assessed the place, looking for the most hidden location available. If this person asks me to do something ridiculous, at least the risk of other people seeing it will be close to nothing.

When I’ve found the best table that will hide myself and the VIP, I sat down and mentally ready myself for the meeting.

Not that I’m having any progress of filling my head with anyone else but Dara and that night I decided to be an idiot. Provided that it’s been weeks that it happened, I still can’t get over it. I can still remember the way she looked before she left. I can't believe I hurt her. Worst night ever.

Seolhyun hasn't contacted me but her bandmates has been leaving me annoying voicemails ever since they found out that we weren’t together anymore and the reason I gave. Messages telling me I’m an , jerk, douchebag, etc. I didn’t block them though. And I don't feel harrassed either. If that’s what helps them vent their anger for Seolhyun, I’ll let them have their fill. Besides, it’s not as if they can get me any more guiltier than how I already feel.

I admit, it probably wasn’t fair to Seolhyun when I dropped her just like that. I should have done it the moment I felt that the relationship wasn’t going anywhere. But I was a coward. And so, here I am. I lost another chance to be with the girl I love because I was stupid. God, I hate myself sometimes.

Dara has taken over my thoughts once again. How is she doing now? I tried to get info from Minho but every time I do, he shuts me down. Sometimes, I get the urge to contact some other people I know at YG, but I stop myself. People might get curious and it might stir more trouble. I tell myself to behave and maybe, just maybe Dara will forgive me soon enough and I can still grab that chance.

While wallowing in my pathetic situation, I decided to pour out my frustrations in a song. I needed to get these pent up feelings out, and a song is the best outlet. I don’t know if it will see the light of day, but right now, it’s a song I would only want to play for Dara. My feelings clearly translates in it. It’s sad as . I’m sad as .

I take a peek at my watch to check the time because it already feels like I’ve been waiting here forever. Aaand look at that. Not even fifteen minutes has passed since I arrived. If I don’t get a grip, I may start moping again.

I heave a deep sigh. I was making myself more comfortable when I hear someone behind me clear their throat. I turned around to greet the person but the greeting got caught in my throat. I was frozen from where I was standing. I'm known to have piercing eyes that look threatening to most people. These ones staring back at me are like knives that are ready to cut.

Being back in Korea recharges me. I love touring for my fans and all, but nah. I’d rather be home.

It’s because she’s here. She’s like a homing device. No matter where I go or who I’m with, she always pulls me back. Always.

Funny, but I didn’t think I’d be back in my old ways. Well, who am I kidding? This is actually fun. The past year has been so boring because all I could do was . Leave little notes here and there. Making sure she never forgets about me. About us. I miss her.

I stayed away from her. Even if it killed me, I gave her space. It’s what she wanted. She’s been begging me to let her go the last two years we were together. I was stubborn. I didn’t listen. She cried. She always cries.

Youngbae told me I should loosen up on her and stop smothering her with my attention. So I did. I drank, smoked and slept around. I thought that would make her happy. No matter how many other women I , she should be happy because I wasn’t always hovering.

That’s where Youngbae’s advice ed up. She got hurt. She hated me. She cried again. So I gave her the space she's been dying to have because it's the only way I can apologize to her for ing up this good thing we got going.

The woman I have loved since I was seventeen. She has been a witness to who I was and embraced what I have become.

We were amazing. We were perfect. We were so in love. It’s natural to protect what you love, right?

So I did what I had to do. I protected her. It’s what a good partner does. Because I love her. She is my everything.

I kept her away from people who can try to ruin our relationship. I trust her with all my heart because I know her like the back of my hand. She’s not the type to cheat. It’s those other guys I don’t trust. She’s too naïve, too pure to realize when someone is already making advances on her. So I have to take care of her. I did what I had to do for her. For us.

Our friends say I was suffocating her, but I beg to differ. So what if she can’t be friends with other people outside of YG? She’s got me and my crew. That should be enough.

But some people don’t want to mind their own business. It’s irritating. They even nag me more than she does. Come to think of it, baby girl never nags. She usually talks to me calmly and prefers to have a rational conversation instead of a shouting match. Unlike some women I know...

Kiko for example. I never planned to make her a regular. Her mere presence annoys me. But when the lights are off and she's , she can pass off as her. It's the only reason I tolerated the girl. screeches whenever she doesn't get what she wants, but I gave in to some of her whims to keep h