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Jun saw this change Chan had and sighed. He went to the window by the front door and looked out to see Joshua's house directly opposite and saw Seungcheol being hugged by Joshua.

__________

[3rd pov]

Chan trudged his way up the stairs and into his room and slammed the door knowing Jun would hear him but he hear didn't care.

He didn't understand why his first day went from good to bad, he really liked his new friends he made friends with but he wishes he could've spent more time talking to Seungcheol on the way home. Don't get him wrong, he likes Sana and he's glad he has a friend who lives close by but he couldn't help but wish Seungcheol walked him home.

Chan flopped down onto his bed so that he was lying on his back and let out a huge sigh, he closed his eyes and rested a bit before going to sit up and make his way over to his desk to write in his diary.

[after second diary entry]

Chan nervously put his pen down on the desk.

He stares at his diary as he continues to re think what he wrote.

I have a secret that I can't tell anyone, and that's that I'm gay.

Chan starts mutter to himself, "Why do I have to be gay?! Why don't I like girls? Why can't I be normal!". This becomes a chant he starts to repeat over and over again.

He lets out frustrated screams and stands up and kicks his desk and sits back down with his head in his hands, tears now streaming down his face. At that moment he heard his bedroom door be flung open and in runs a worried looking Junhui.

"Channie, Channie!" Junhui calls out as he runs to hug his younger brother  from where he's sat in his chair. Chan wraps his arms around his brothers waist and continues to sob into his chest.

"What's wrong Channie?" Junhui asks him softly, leaning down slightly and his hand through Chan's hair to calm him down. 

Chan tightens his arms around Junhui's waist before answering him whilst sobbing. " Jun, I-I don't want to be gay. Wh-Why do I have to be gay?!", Chan started to cry even more after finishing his sentence. This breaks Junhui's heart.

"Aww Channie, you can't help it. You can't do anything about liking girls or not, you can't force yourself to like girls if you don't have any attraction to them" Junhui replied to his brothers question and continued to comfort him with his embrace.

"Like me for example, I like both girls and boys because I have a slight attraction to both but I prefer boys. There's nothing wrong with liking boys, it's the same as liking girls it's just that they're not a girl"

Chan starts to cry even more. "It's not the same though Jun hyung, it's different!"

Junhui's looks at Chan a bit taken aback. "What do you mean it's not the same?"

"Liking boys is different from liking girls because it means a boy is going to have to like me back and that's not normal. It's automatic for a girl to like a boy and a boy to like a girl. People are homophobic Jun, they don't accept people like me" Chan started to wail.

Junhui pulled away from Chan for a brief moment to look at his brother, a wave of sadness, frustration and worry washed through his body. He hated seeing his brother so upset. He  picked up Chan bridal style and took him out of his bedroom and set him on a highstool in their kitchen.

"I'm going to put the kettle on to make hot chocolate for you, I'll be back now" and with that Junhui's walked away from Chan to put water into the kettle. Chan was grateful to have such an understanding brother like Junhui who wouldn't judge him for any problems he had, he would tell his parents but they had work most of the time so he didn't see them much in the day on a school day. Junhui also knows that hot