a/note: This is the previous chapter that should be the chapter 10 but I'm blind to see them.

“Jessica?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t leave me. I’m scare.”

Jessica smile wash all Yoona’s bad thought about Jessica leaving her. Jessica always know how to make Yoona feel secure. “I don’t. At least, not for now.”

Yoona smile weakly. Jessica carefully pulled her comforter to avoid any problems ado. Yoona is weak and Jessica felt that she has to take care the sad deer. Yoona is sick as ever since her parents left her and she probably need someone to love her with her might.

Even though she didn’t love her just like…

Jessica shook at her thought.

“Yoona, at least take the medication,” Jessica advices, grazing her fingers along on Yoona soft locks. Yoona loves them.

“I don’t want to. They taste ,” Yoona answer, cheekily.

“That ‘they’ thing is actually recovering you, you know.”

“I don’t want to recover.”

“Why is that?”

“I get to see you and sit with you every second passes.”

“Don’t say thing like that.”

You never got it, right? Yoona heart whispered. After the said girl left with a kiss at top, Yoona switch from her position before reaching out her old diary. It was the only thing she kept and she has. Ever after her parents died in flight accident, all of the fortune misleadingly goes to the wrong hands and Yoona didn’t have anything left behind.

It was Jessica who save her, and Yoona being thankful because Jessica dares to give her heart yet soul.

Yoona love Jessica, she wrote.

Once done writing it in a nice way (along with the xoxo and love sign!), Yoona flipped through the whole book slowly. On the previous page Yoona just did notice that she wrote Y <3 J at the bottom of every pages. She even draw a pair of couple which holding their hands.

Yoona wants to hold Jessica hands.

Yoona wants Jessica to be the one who she can lean on.

Yoona wants Jessica to be always there, kissing her and keep her closer just like she used to do.

Was it Yoona asking too much? Yoona ponder, but it doesn’t settle by itself. Yoona wants Jessica all for herself.

Yoona tick something on the mini calendar. Her finger shakily grazes the red mark on certain date. She put a little note on it before closing her own diary.

At some moment,

Yoona shuddered.

***

“You don’t even understand, Soo Jung. She needs someone to hold her. She is broken.” Jessica reasoned.

“Taeyeon unnie is broken too! Why you didn’t fix her just like you did to Yoona?!”

“Taeyeon is not alone, and Yoona is.”

“It’s all about Yoona, isn’t it? I thought the midget change you.”

“She did change me, Soo Jung.”

“Where did she touch you?”

Jessica smiled warily. Her palm slowly made way to chest. She patted her chest softly before giving her sister her best look. Krystal has to know, Jessica thought. She loved Kim Taeyeon and why on earth she doesn’t? She was the one who bringing out her inner self that she thought she couldn’t never bringing them to public; but Taeyeon just did it and she’s perfect. Jessica couldn’t ask for more.

Jessica loves Taeyeon.

Too damn much.

“Then, why Yoona?”

Krystal wanted to know. She needs to know because she hates the moment where she sees Taeyeon cried at some random park before scrolling Jessica pictures on her device. She tried to comforting the elders, but Taeyeon will just shut her out.

Krystal doesn’t like it any better when Taeyeon doesn’t want to hear her thought about Jessica loving Yoona. For Kim Taeyeon, loving Jessica Jung is a war and she has to be prepared for mentally hurt.

“She’s in her final stage and the doctors think she couldn’t make it up till the end.”

***

Taeyeon keep staring at the soulless Jessica. Even though she seems too occupied in her own world, Taeyeon doesn’t even know what she should do to keep her lively. Jessica look flabbergasted, tired and worn out.

Was taking care Yoona is too hard for her? Krystal do told her sometimes, Jessica will hold Yoona in her arm to keep her presence. Aside from her cold gazes, Taeyeon knows that deep inside there will be always soft yet mushy Jessica. The side that only Kim Taeyeon know how to treasure.

Jessica is still day dreaming.

Jessica looks sad.

What happened, Taeyeon thought.

With simple reflex, Taeyeon occasionally touches Jessica fingers that had been tapping the surface. A cheeky grin plastered on hers, signalling Jessica what’s wrong and Jessica frowns sweetly.

What the hell, how come a simple frown from Jessica turns into sweet? Taeyeon couldn’t help but to wander what charm Jessica put on her. She seems smitten to the older Jung, not the young Jung who says she could give everything that Jessica never got the chance to give.

“Hey, what happened Jessie?” Taeyeon asks, still smiling.

Jessica sighs.

“Do you think bringing Yoona to my house is like bringing flame from hell?” Jessica asks metaphorically. And then, came the silence. Taeyeon couldn’t answer them.

“I don’t know what are you talking about, Jessica. But Yoona presence it’s not that bad, was it? Plus, she’s perfect and she has the figures too. And she’s sweet too. Everyone likes her. And you like her too.” Taeyeon sarcastically joked. She never meant them, but sure…

Jessica take everything Taeyeon said seriously.

“Do you not trust me, Kim Taeyeon?”

“I do trust you.”

“Then why you keep saying that I love her? Taeyeon, I was just taking care of her. Would you neither Krystal give a damn to understand me a little? I don’t have anyone to rely on, to be honest. I just have you and Krystal and then… . I don’t want to do this anymore. I was so sick with everything. You just make me feel stupid.” Jessica said, supressing her inner anger.

She was furious mad.

It was Taeyeon’s first time seeing Jessica had those red blushers tainted on her cheeks. Jessica looked dangerous.

But, Taeyeon saw them once again.

The same looks she get when Taeyeon was there, trying to explaining that everything between her and Krystal is just nothing.

“Jeez, I’m sorry. I was just kidding.” Taeyeon tried to apologizing.

Jessica sigh.

“You know Taeyeon, Krystal right. I won’t be able to make you happy. Go, love Krystal. I wouldn’t even mind.” Jessica mutters under her breath but Taeyeon hears them. She saw the blonde girl get up from her seat, pulling some notes before placing them on the table. She gave Taeyeon last glances and dashed out from the café, leaving Taeyeon all alone and dumbfounded.

Taeyeon quickly chase after her.

But Jessica ran so fast.

And Taeyeon never see her again that day.

She felt so useless.

For making Jessica Jung felt disappointed with her attitude.

Jessica quickly fixes herself when she saw Yoona’s private doctor, Doctor Hwang coming with small smile plant on her lips. Jessica always saw Doctor Hwang with her biggest smile, but Jessica guess, Doctor Hwang had her day off too. Or maybe, Yoona couldn’t stand any longer that she supposed too.

Jessica pays for everything. Just for Yoona. From hospital fees till the best doctor in Seoul, Jessica wants to make everything for Im Yoona.

It was not because she loves her, like Taeyeon and Krystal accused her.

Because Jessica know how Yoona lives. Jessica have experience them, Jessica knows the feeling of being alone, not to be care, useless and broken. Jessica knew them all along. And Jessica doesn’t even want to make Yoona cry; at least, not from now on.

“You always earlier like usual, Miss Jung,” Doctor Hwang stated, extending her hands out. Jessica gladly replied to them, feeling Doctor Hwang’s soft hand grazing her palm.

“I have to, since Yoona didn’t have someone to accompany her.” Jessica replied.

“Then, what functions of Soo Jung if not helping her sisters then? It such a waste that your mother fought for her live, let’s not forget that your father even donated his blood just for Soo Jung born.” Doctor Hwang commented, feeling slight angered with Krystal’s attitude.

Jessica palely smiled.

“She doesn’t like strangers, I think.”

“Haa, she was born in Yoona’s father hospital for your information, Miss Jung!” Doctor Hwang replied them sarcastically. Jessica shrugged her shoulder, didn’t have anything to defend herself.

“So, what’s new for Yoona? Didn’t she have the chances to recover?” Jessica quickly changes the topic to another. She didn’t want to stuck to another story telling. She felt sick by hearing the same stories that none of them know. It just her and Doctor Hwang secret info and Jessica didn’t have any intention to tell them.

Even if she were going to be the blame, then so be it.

Jessica Jung is ready to get the blame.

Doctor Hwang exhales before pulling another sheet from her file. Jessica didn’t even understand what those scribbled about, but when the doctor explains to her one by one, Jessica couldn’t help but to sighed again.

From the messy writing, Jessica knows Yoona has to take another medication and Yoona has to suffered few aftereffect from her on-going medication. Hair lost? Yoona has lost them much until she screams whenever she saw herself in the mirror.

Yoona hate herself so much and Jessica was so scares to break her again.

What is Taeyeon doing now?

Jessica wants to call her Taeyeon, to tell that she was sorry for yelling at her, for being such a touché and everything. But Jessica couldn’t even bring her head up.

“Did she need that much of medication?” Jessica asks, while her eyes still travelling the side notes that Doctor Hwang jutted them. She could see that Yoona’s health is dropping down each month passes and Jessica wasn’t ready to see her result.

Doctor Hwang smiled.

“Of course, Miss Jung. She will be going through another few series of surgeries, chemotherapy and of course, healing session.”

“Even though she’s not going to be heal any soon?”

“That was sad, Miss Jung. But I couldn’t change the fact right? Im Yoona is going to die any soon, but thanks to you, she was able to breathe for another month.”

And they don’t even know that there’s someone is eaves-dropping.

***

“How’s Yoona?” Daniel asks when Jessica calmly sat herself on the couch. Thank god his mother is not at home currently, because if not his mother will not liking any little bit about he befriending with the elder Jung. Daniel likes Jessica as a friend but his mother is not trying to understand those like about.

Daniel sighs, because Jessica look like as as ever he had seen.

“. Doctor Hwang thinks she doesn’t even have any chances left after those thing. She still needs to undergo another few surgeries after this.” Jessica said, gulping the drink in one go.

“How’s Taeyeon?”

“We fight, I think?”

“You cried?”

“Of course, . You cried when your ex ask a break from you.” Jessica said, tossing the small cushion to Daniel laps.

“You do love her, do you Jessica?” Daniel tested.

Jessica warmly smiled.

She pulls out her phone from her pocket before shoving them to Daniel’s large palm. Daniel dumbfounded asks, “What am I supposed to do with your phone?” before tossing the cushion back to Jessica.

“Swipe them and goes straight to notes. You can see how much I love Kim Taeyeon.” Jessica said before excusing herself to use the toilet.

Daniel shrugged.

He swipes them and he could see clearly that Jessica put Taeyeon’s picture on her lock screen. For the wallpaper, Daniel suspects that the writing came from Taeyeon. It was a picture of some cute note along with mini love with a tumbler. Yep, Daniel knows how Jessica had a weird thinking of caffeine should be make.

He successfully unlocked the notes password and Daniel couldn’t help but to agape. Jessica has at least a thousand notes about Taeyeon. Daniel assumes that Jessica writes everything about Taeyeon on everyday.

What the hell Jessica becoming so cheesy, Daniel snickered funnily.

He decides to open one from the thousand notes.

Taeyeon suits everything tbh. She is beautiful and hardworking. She always sends her teammates out and leaves her all alone with her council work. What a pity but I guess that was the real reason why I loved her.

Kim Taeyeon is lovely and Jessica Jung loves her.

Thursday.

Daniel heart beats faster. He opens one another.

Taeyeon is going out with Krystal. Yet, another date. I was scared. What if, she turns to Krystal and left me for nothing? Of course, Krystal is undeniably charming and most of the girl will fight for Krystal.

I just hope thing doesn’t get very difficult between both of us.

Saturday.

Daniel heart clenches a little. Jessica never loved someone like she did with Taeyeon. She never confessed anything like she loves Yoona or even joked about. Whenever he and Jisung talk about Yoona, Jessica just said that she wants to hear everything that came out from their mouth is all nice word.

Daniel knows that the coffee that Yoona makes for Jessica is not from Yoona’s hand. It’s from Seunggi, a handsome barista across the school and probably Yoona pays for the addicting caffeine before claimed them as hers in front Jessica.

Poor Jessica, Daniel thought. He wants to help her, but he doesn’t even know where he should start first.

It is the final year for Kim Taeyeon and she was wearing her best outfit for the date. Aside from her very excited sisters and uncles, Taeyeon was actually looking for Jessica in her gym outfit. It was Thursday and Taeyeon knows when Jessica is going to gym.

Jessica didn’t accept any coffee anymore after the rumor has flown. They said, Jessica Jung is officially Yoona fiancé but Taeyeon doesn’t want to hear any of it. She knows, Jessica won’t ever betray her even she said she doesn’t love her just like she used to be. Jessica Jung couldn’t lie, and Kim Taeyeon just happens to know that the said girl couldn’t even lie.

While fixing her attire, answering some of the questions from her uncle, Taeyeon tried her best to keep looking for Jessica everywhere. She tried with finding Yoona too, but the said girl doesn’t appear at anywhere.

Why?

Where’s her, and her Yoona?

Taeyeon hates that she has to mention Jessica presence alongside with Yoona name.

“What was that?” Taeyeon hissed when Hyoyeon accidentally nudges her stomach.

“Stop perking your head like that! I know what you’re looking for.” Hyoyeon whisper.

“She’s not here.”

“Believe me, she’s going to come. It’s Yoona too. And I don’t think Yoona unnie doesn’t want to make it. Like, duh? This is your final year or maybe final step to high school.”

“I don’t know, Hyoyeon.”

“You are going to meet them, unnie. Don’t worry. I’m rooting for you.”

“Thanks.”

Taeyeon had to excuse herself when someone came to her and whisper in tiny voices, “Jessica wants to meet you at the usual,” and Taeyeon doesn't need to be told twice. She immediately gives the graduation presents to her uncle and sisters. She takes off those annoying pieces of clothes before throwing them to Hyoyeon.

She wants to meet Jessica so bad.

She wanted to.

And she always does.

It was funny, Taeyeon thought. No matter how hard Jessica push Taeyeon away from her life, Taeyeon always found that she wanted to be loved by the coffee prince. Taeyeon always wants to be saved by Jessica no matter at what cost.

Jessica makes her special and she wants to be her special.

Taeyeon imagining Jessica had her gummy smile with open arms, waiting for Taeyeon with her hug and also, a butterfly kisses cause’ she always love them whenever it came from Jessica. As long it is Jessica, Taeyeon will be fine.

Taeyeon just realized something.

She loves the said girl so damn much that it’s hurting her.

“Taeyeon?” She heard the said girl voice and Taeyeon smile immediately appear on her face. Jessica still looks the same, except her big circles under her eyes, and also her warm smile. She donned herself a pretty outfit and it was classic.

“Jessica.”

“Congratulation for the graduated, Taeyeon. Hyoyeon must be proud.” Jessica said, offering a handshake. Rather than a handshake, Taeyeon personally hoping that Jessica maybe could give her a bear hug just they used to be. But, Taeyeon accepts it neither less. She might get a hug if she responds to her hands.

“She should. Oh, do you want to come by? My uncle will hold a welcoming party tonight.”

“Wait Taeyeon. I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“Promise that you won’t hate me after this?”

“What are you talking about? You are not even worth to hate.”

“Are you sure? Cause’ I'm scared that you might hate me after this.”

“Just—Tell me. I’m fine, really.”

“I’m going to get married to Yoona.”

With a single breath, Jessica did them.