The fog is thick and opaque, spreading through the streets and swallowing up the dwellings in the distance. It’s warmer than the fog in his dreams, palpable and moist on his skin.

The streetlights cast luminosity into the fog. Jeongguk walks on the sidewalk slowly, passing through each column of light before stepping into the intermittent darkness. Occasionally, a set of headlights would peek through the end of the street, two lines of amber beams shifting and wobbling in the fog as a car zooms closer. Jeongguk glances, and continues towards his destination.

His thought meanders, back to the melody Taehyung practiced on guitar last night, legs splayed over the couch lazily, asking him for tips on certain parts from time to time. There's rosiness on his cheeks, and his face is no longer gaunt. The August air was sticky, but Taehyung wanted the AC off and windows open. Isn't the noise from the street nice, he said, eyes half lidded and smelling faintly of shampoo from the shower.

It scares Jeongguk how easily he finds contentment in moments like these, lazy hours where they just coexist next to each other. His brain is blissfully free from all the incessant chatters, and instead of pulling out work, he tries to relax when Taehyung is around. Looking up from his book occasionally, Jeongguk would catch him focusing on the guitar, nose scrunched up cutely, looking relaxed and at home. As if he's been around forever.

Jeongguk’s thoughts are pulled back to the present as he gets closer to the destination. Tucked beside a row of closed shops, Bar Abraxas's neon “open” sign flickers. The fog dissipates around him, as he walks towards the door.

Jeongguk steps inside and into another world. Jazz is in the air, light and jovial notes coming from the piano on a small stage. Jeongguk notices a few people lingering about, as he makes his way to the bar.

He sees Taehyung right away - hair pushed back under a bright red bandana, hands busying with drying glasses on the counter, but eyes glazed over and nodding absently to the person seated in front of him on a barstool.

Jeongguk’s stomach flutters as he walks closer. Like a damn teenager, he shakes his head inwardly and speaks up, "What kind of scotch you got here?"

Taehyung's eyes light up, and a genuine smile plays on his lips. The world dims around them. Taehyung's joy is always transparent and contagious.

"Did you get lost in your own neighborhood or what? Never thought I'd ever see you here."

Jeongguk speaks innocently, "I wanted a drink."

Taehyung squints at him with smiling eyes and deadpans, "Sure, lemme guess, drinking your expensive stuff gets boring and you want to come see how the peasants live."

Jeongguk indulges him and doesn't respond, but signals at the bottle of Glenfiddich single malt behind him on the shelf. Taehyung grabs a glass and fills it with ice, "It won't taste as good as the stuff at home, don't say I didn't warn you..." His mumbling trails off but the smile doesn't falter.

Jeongguk hears the person seated at the bar let out a click of the tongue, before turning to face him, "And here I was, thinking we were having a private conversation."

The voice is impatient, but dripping with charm. Messy blonde hair, petite face with delicate features. There's something about his gaze, dark eyes scanning him up and down, like a predator lazily eyeing a prey, trying to decide whether it's worth the effort.

“Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?” The stranger looks onto Taehyung with a smirk.

Taehyung frowns and hands Jeongguk the drink wordlessly.

“Guess not. Name is Taemin, I already know yours, Jeongguk.” He extends out his hand. It's thin and cold to the touch, Jeongguk shakes it stiffly.

Jeongguk pulls up a chair by the bar and eyes Taehyung, “Not busy tonight?”

A shrug, “Never is. If there's a song you wanna hear, go tell Chanyeol by the piano, he's pretty much the jukebox.”

Jeongguk sips on his drink and nods.

"Aww, how sweet. I always hear you guys are close." Taemin tilts his head sideways and exclaims flatly.

He eyes Taehyung with a wicked glint in his gaze, “Although I suppose everyone falls for this one sooner or later.”

Taehyung shoots him an icy glare, his hands pause with the drying rag, “Don't you have somewhere to go to?”

Taemin swivels his barstool, “Tsk tsk, trying to get rid of me now that you got your sugar daddy? Harsh.” 

Arching a brow at Jeongguk to ensure his attention, Taemin leans over the bar to lift Taehyung’s chin, “Maybe you shouldn't cut your ties so quickly, babe. You did crawl back to me just four months ago.”

Jeongguk’s torso stiffens. Taehyung shoves Taemin’s hand away roughly. Jeongguk takes another sip before speaking up, “When you get off?”

“Not for a while,” Taehyung responds, worrying his lip between his teeth. Jeongguk has the sudden urge to grab him and take him away from the bar, never to come back.

Taemin retracts himself back to the seat, and taps on the counter, “I bet you’re curious, what was Tae’s life like, before he met you?”

He looks onto Taehyung smugly, “My bird dog. Always so good at surviving, makes you see stars in bed, as he digs a knife straight through your heart-”

“Stop!” Taehyung growls. He rips Taemin’s half empty drink off the counter, “I think you should leave now.”

Before Taemin can respond, another voice speaks up from the other end of the bar, “Ya! Stop bugging my bartender! Get out!”

Jeongguk turns to see a tall dude with broad shoulders walking briskly over. His starched shirt is perfectly tailored and a tad too expensive for the dingy bar, eyes blazing like a mother hen, “You heard him! Get out before we kick you out!”

Taemin rolls his eyes and stands up languidly. He gives one last look at Taehyung, voice nonchalant, “Always pretending you could do better somehow. You’ll have to beg harder next time.” 

The tall man scowls towards Taemin as he saunters towards the door, “Never liked that guy, him being your “friend” and all.” He pats Taehyung hard on the back, “Just holler for me next time, or Chanyeol. Wait, Chanyeol is pretty weak, so maybe Kyungsoo then, wait Kyungsoo doesn't even talk so maybe-”

“Jin!” Taehyung interrupts him and points at Jeongguk, “This is Jeongguk, my… friend.”

Jin’s eyes light up as he gives Jeongguk a once over, “Ohh this one is better. Just friend, you said?” He winks at Taehyung, earning a pained sigh.

"Love the music here." Jeongguk nods in acknowledgment, glance drifting back to Taemin absently as he slams the door behind him.

"Yeah, jazz, a bit of a dying art." Jin beams at him, and starts to help out Taehyung behind the bar, "Which reminds me - of a joke. Say, what's the difference between a jazz musician and an insurance policy?" The pitch of his voice suddenly grows higher, and his eyes shine with mirth.

"Oh no...” Taehyung groans and throws the rag on the bar, "I'm gonna go take a smoke break now, boss. All yours." He hurries out from behind the bar, and grabs Jeongguk’s hand, "Let’s go, pretty sure I've earned this."

Jeongguk follows, turning around to see a happy Jin waving at them as they rush out, “Come back when you are done, Jeongguk! I can tell you’re a man who appreciates good jokes!"

------

The alley beside the bar is dark and away from the street. Taehyung leans against the brick wall of the building exterior, and pulls out a lighter from his jeans pocket. He flicks it a few times and watches as the small flame tremble in the air.

A hand reaches in to cup next to his, shielding the draft and helping the flickering flame grow. Taehyung glances at Jeongguk wordlessly, and leans in.

Ignite, puff, exhale.

The flames is extinguished with a turn of the wrist, but the burning cherry travels between Taehyung's long fingers in the dark. As he takes another long puff and exhales to the side, a thin veil of smoke shrouds the outline of his face.

"Still can't believe you came here." Taehyung's voice is dreamlike, his shoulders slumped and relaxed.

"I was curious."

A light chuckle, "Curious about the bar or what I look like actually working." He extends his hand out and offers the cigarette expectantly. Jeongguk shakes his head and thinks of the pack of cigarette he leaves in the office at home. Taehyung must've noticed.

Taehyung retracts his hand and takes another puff, "Goos to see you here though." His voice is quiet but Jeongguk hears every word. There's a hint of longing between the lines, but he can't be sure if he's dreamt it up.

"It's... an interesting place."

"Yeah." Taehyung agrees, wide eyes reflecting the tiny bit of light coming from the distant street lights. "Well, I gotta make a living somehow, this is really not so bad." 

Jeongguk tries to ignore the thoughts bubbling up but words tumble out before he regrets it, "You don't have to be here, I could help you find another job if you want."

Taehyung dips his head, "I don't need another job, definitely not from you. You've given me enough, more than enough."

Taemin's abrasive gaze flashes across Jeongguk's mind, and he replays the way his fingers touched Taehyung under the chin, "you’re still weak, this is not the best place. wouldn't hurt to take it easy for a bit either."

Taehyung grumbles, "I can take care of myself."

He inches closer and stares into Jeongguk's eyes, "Why don't you just ask me straight up? What he was talking about back at the bar..."

Jeongguk doesn't respond.

Taehyung huffs and throws the cigarette to the ground, stomping on it as he speaks, "that's the thing about you. Always silent, never speaking what's on your mind.”

He wants to snap back, to let the words gush out, but they thistle on the back of his throat, and only a curt little sentence is pushed out instead, "I don't care what's in your past."

"You don't care? Well, I can't make you care. But what if-" A small grin spreads on Taehyung's face, eyes hollow and looking past Jeongguk, "-what if I told you I slept around and hurt people when he told me to? What if you find out I'm messed up in the head, not worth your time?"

Jeongguk tightens his clammy hands. Taehyung’s slender frame retracts into the dark wall behind him, yet his eyes shine intensely, seeing right through him and daring for him to respond. Jeongguk murmurs, "It’s all in the past, not who you are now.”

”Stop. If you are not gonna to speak your mind - if you're just gonna keep up with this front that you put up, then there's no point."

He inches closer and looks at Jeongguk, one hand reaching to grip his arm. His voice is low but testing, "what am I, hmm? A charity case? Or something more? Do you even know, Gukkie?”

Jeongguk’s mind races, overwhelmed by a sudden urge to embrace Taehyung, to make the coldness in his voice go away. But he stands frozen in place instead, limbs paralyzed, eyes dipping down.

A glint of irritation flashes through Taehyung’s eyes, “For ’s sake-” he exhales sharply and reaches in.

Something within Jeongguk finally snaps when Taehyung’s soft lips touch his. Taehyung’s hands reach into his hair, cradling his head and pulling him in closer. His tongue swirls between Jeongguk’s lips, and a soft whine escapes his throat, as his body leans into Jeongguk’s torso.

Jeongguk feels the heat pooling up within him in response, and it all feels so very right. The world pauses and darkness engulfs him. He wants to push Taehyung into the brick wall behind and pour all his needs into the petite frame, devouring it and lighting the world on fire until nothing remains. 

But he can't.

Instead, guilt creeps up on him, plaguing him with dread, as the younger pulls everything out of him and deepens the kiss.

“No…” Jeongguk pulls back and pushes Taehyung away, voice trembling.

Stubbornly, Taehyung moves with him, tangling his hands into his hair more and breathes a desperate moan into the kiss.

Jeongguk fights the sickening weakness within and shoves Taehyung away, “Stop.”

Taehyung’s eyes glisten in the dark, the hurt in them knocks the air out of him. Then the pain turns into disappointment, as Taehyung shoves him right back with both hands forcefully, “Can’t even be honest with yourself for one second!”

Jeongguk watches as the gaze turns hard and defensive. Taehyung’s voice sounds detached, “Should’ve known. You’re even more messed up than me...”

Jeongguk blinks away the remorse and speaks, heart pounding and barely containing the frustration, "Tae, this is wrong. You’re young, you don't know what you want-"

"I'm 20. Not a kid, or some troubled case that needs to be saved. It’s all excuses you made up in your head, cause you can't face the fact that you’re just as lonely and afraid as the rest of us." Taehyung whispers, "I wish you would just see me for once, not with all these labels that you make up in your mind. But just me, flawed and all. Just the way I am."

I do see you, so clearly that it scares me, in all the days and nights since I've met you. The voice is loud and clear in his head, but Jeongguk doesn't give sound to it. He stands frozen in his spot, clenching his jaw and bottling it all in.

Taehyung's eyes search through him, and slowly a quiet sigh pushes out, "how I wish I was wrong..."

He pushes Jeongguk to the side and slides away wordlessly.

Then they both hear a voice from afar, blended into the fog.

"So ing naive, you’d think you know better by now."

Jeongguk sees the outline of a figure in the fog, messy hair and lazy strides. And as he walks closer to them, the smug smirk on his face makes Jeongguk’s blood boil.

"Wanna know why he was on the street last time when you picked him up?" Taemin his head and continues, "He ed up. Trusted in the person he was suppose to con, waited for weeks for things to turn up. Until the guy used him up and ditched him."

Jeongguk’s heart sinks as he watches Taehyung’s widened gaze glued to Taemin, unable to look away as each word cuts deep into him.

Taemin continues to step closer, his stride slow but calculated, “So pathetic. But I always patched you back up, didn't I? This guy is no different than the rest of them. They always hurt you in the end.”

Taehyung worries his lower lip between his teeth and gives Jeongguk one last glance. Fear courses through Jeongguk at the sudden realization, and he speaks up hastily, “Let’s go. We can talk about this at home-”

“Don't.” Taehyung flinches, “Please, no more. I’m too tired for your game. Maybe this is for the best, for both of us.”

Jeongguk wants to grab him and shake the look of despair away, but his feet stay frozen, as he watches Taehyung make his way towards Taemin. A knowing smile hangs on the corner of Taemin’s lips, and he drapes an arm over Taehyung’s slumped shoulder. They leave without giving Jeongguk another look.

Jeongguk is unsure how long he stands there alone in the dark, before finally moving on with hollowness in his heart. That night, the recurring dream is back to haunt him, of running aimlessly in the fog again, pushing his muscles and suffocating amidst endless swirls of thick fog. As he finally collapses onto the ground gasping for air, he realizes, for the first time in years, that there's no shadow under him, nor feet. It's always just been his thoughts alone, running without a destination in sight, running away and escaping from himself.