By the time they get back to the rental, dusk has already painted the sky in dusty rose and dark indigo. Taehyung feels weary from the long day, so they brought some basic ingredients to make pasta at home and ate dinner on the patio overlooking the endless sea. It all feels peaceful, with Jeongguk next to him sipping on the bottle of local Merlot they uncorked, and Chim Chim purring on his lap, Taehyung feels selfish for ever wanting more in life. 

Chim Chim is all grown up now, no longer the scrawny little runt that they rescued. His calico coat is pretty and soft to the touch, and his personality affectionate and calm. Taehyung loves gazing into those sparkling brown orbs, and drawing out satisfying purrs from him with head and belly scratches. The only thing that worries him is how adventurous Chim Chim can get, sometimes sneaking out of the backyard at their LA home, disappearing for days. But he always comes back. Taehyung would find him cuddled next to him in bed one morning, his face in tiny wet strips, and meowing about how much he's missed home during his great adventure. 

Freedom is such a precious thing, to not feel trapped in a cage, however gilded it may be. Taehyung doesn't have the heart to deprive Chim Chim of that. So despite his concerns, he doesn't patch up the cracks under the backyard door in LA. He tells himself that the longing to come home will always bring him back. 

A few bottles of Merlot later, Taehyung feels the kisses deepen. There's desire swirling in Jeongguk's eyes, and Taehyung's hands reciprocate, grasping and seeking for the comfort of physical contact. Something looms on the back of his mind - Chim Chim has been acting skittish after dinner, and now he's missing. 

"Maybe we should find him first-hmm" Taehyung's words are mixed with soft moans as Jeongguk's hand reaches under th old t-shirt he's wearing that skims mid thigh. 

"He's fine." Jeongguk's breath ghosts over Taehyung's neck, before pausing his lips on his collarbone. The kisses are urgent and messy, turning Taehyung's mind into a blur. "Here or the bedroom?"

"Hngg... bedroom..." Taehyung stutters, feeling his limbs go blissfully weak. 

He loves it, loves the intimacy, the way Jeongguk finally opens up, and unleashes all the tension and lust, all low growls and hot breaths. Primal. Every touch echoes words he cannot say, every making him feel so very needed. 

When they finally stumble into bed, Jeongguk pauses and takes in the sight while biting on his lip teasingly, "you look so good baby, always so ing perfect."

Taehyung blushes and feels the heat pooling low in his abdomen. His breath turns ragged as his hand reaches down under his shirt. 

"Hey." Jeongguk grips his wrist, pinning it over his head possessively, "no touching, let me do it."

Taehyung sighs contently. The restrain, the weight of his body over him, it all feels so delirious. To surrender and give up control, to give himself up to Jeongguk. 

Taehyung feels the need building as Jeongguk teases him slowly, kissing him on the inside of his thighs, slicked up fingers curling into him, hitting the perfect spot with every deliberately slow . 

"Guk I can't-can't-" Taehyung writhes under him, hips bucking but gets pushed down by Jeongguk's firm hand. 

"You can, baby." Jeongguk's lips trail up and reach under the shirt, drawing a string of broken whimpers out of Taehyung. "Always sound so pretty. Tell me what you want." 

Taehyung's face is flushed, "I-I want you..."

The way Jeongguk's eyes darken with desire makes Taehyung's heart thrum gleefully.

"Hands and knees." 

Taehyung flips over and feels Jeongguk's hands pulling his hips towards him. He gasps at the sensation of being filled up - indescribable gratification mixed with jolts of pleasure. 

Closer and harder, until they are as physically close as two people can ever be, the ragged breath of one blending into the shiver of the other. 

When Taehyung finally comes after Jeongguk, it was pushed to the brink, with wetness on his lashes and hands onto the sheet. The moment after release is always so blissfully serene, his eyes blown out, body slacked like a rubber band that has finally snapped and rid of all the tension. 

Jeongguk cleans him up after, and holds him to his chest, faint puffs of air hitting Taehyung's hair. Taehyung thinks absently of Chim Chim's empty bed next to theirs, as his mind succumbs to the darkness. 

He dreams of swimming amongst chasing waves, the iciness of the water soaking into his bones. His vision fogs and the wind bellows on the surface, so Taehyung dives down below, surrendering himself to the watery abyss that fills his ears with a fizzling silence. Deeper and deeper he goes, lost in the pursuit of some obsession he cannot name. 

Something jolts him awake suddenly. His eyes snap open and adjust to the darkness. The warmth of Jeongguk next to him calms him down a little, and the room is silent, saved for the distant sound of ocean waves and howling wind. Just a dream, everything is fine, he reassures himself silently, curling his torso into Jeongguk more. 

And that's when he feels it - in an instance, everything is shaking with a life of its own. The bed, the lamps and empty mug on the nightstand, the light fixtures, every object is vibrating with the same violent frequency. It takes Taehyung a moment, stunned, to fully register what's happening. 

Jeongguk snaps out of sleep beside him, and grabs him by the arm. Their eyes lock and Taehyung sees his own shock reflected in those eyes. They stay frozen for a second, half wishing for the quake to stop. But the shaking is persistent, and there are sounds, deep rumbles from the distance, like some mystical creature awakening from below. And the crashing waves are louder from outside the window, accompanied by forceful wind that vibrates the glass. 

"C'mon." Jeongguk's eyes now shine with alarm. Taehyung gets out of bed, half stunned. He dresses himself hastily, and watches as Jeongguk rips his wallet and keys off the nightstand, and speaks to him urgently, "grab your phone."

As they stumble their way down the stairs to the living room, the lights in the house flicker. Taehyung gasps when he sees the view outside. The once peaceful ocean is now dark and violent, large waves curling up in the wind, hitting the beach forcefully and up onto the patio. 

Taehyung feels Jeongguk's hand grasping onto his arm harder. A sense of dread starts to build up inside of him, making his throat dry and skin crawl, "Guk, Chim Chim, we need to find Chim Chim."

Jeongguk draws a sharp breath and starts searching through every corner right away. 

Stay calm, for 's sake, keep yourself together, Taehyung curses inwardly and starts to call out with trembling voice, "Chim Chim, Chim Chim. Come here baby, we gotta go."

Everything is shaking around him. It feels like they are inside a tin box that's being rattled violently from the outside, as objects start to slide off tables and shelves. With a final flicker, the lights go out. 

There's wind wheezing through a crack of the patio door, Taehyung stares at it and feels his heart sink. 

No.

His feet move towards the door, drawn to it, and when he opens the door, the wind hits him in the face painfully, and the thundering sound of the relentless waves overwhelms him. 

The patio is soaking wet. Taehyung's eyes follow the stairs leading down into the small backyard that connects to the beach. The backyard is already flooded, water building up and sloshing around in the small space. The fences are loosely built with gaps between the seams. 

As he tries to step onto the patio, Jeongguk grabs him by the arm and pulls him back forcefully, "no, stop, you can't go down there."

Taehyung feels his eyes sting as he turns around to face him, "he ran off, I know he did. He could be anywhere, Guk, we need to find him." 

Jeongguk is silent, but Taehyung sees it, the flicker of panic in his eyes, impossible to ignore. But it dims as he purses his lips determinedly, "I'll find him, we need to get you out of here first."

The details of how they get to the car outside on the driveway is blurry. Taehyung's scattered mind becomes more stunned as they witness the chaos on the residential street. All the lights are out, and water is already building up on the road way. Some people are walking down the road towards the marina, others scrambling to their cars. There are the sounds of children crying and distant screams. 

The quake has finally stopped, but Taehyung sees the fear on people's faces. It's not over, the after shocks may still be coming, and the waves might swallow up the whole town. He stands stunned, as Jeongguk opens the car door and pushes him into the driver's seat. 

"Wait. What's going on. Are we leaving? We gotta go find Chim Chim."

Jeongguk stands next to him outside of the car and straps him in. He starts the car and draws a sharp breath, dark eyes fixed on Taehyung, "listen, Tae. This is what's gonna happen. You need to drive to higher grounds, the beach is not safe."

"But you're coming, right?" Taehyung blinks hard and tries to ignore the bellowing wind and chaos around them. 

Jeongguk gulps and shakes his head slowly, "I can find Chim Chim, I'm gonna start with the area nearby. Listen, there was a muster point sign at the bluff east or the marina park that we walked by. Go there, get up higher, and wait for me. I'll go find you there."

The realization is finally hitting Taehyung, filling him with frustration and fear, "no, I'm not leaving without you. Let's go find Chim Chim together, we are sticking together-"

He's interrupted when Jeongguk holds him by the shoulder tightly, eyes boring into his, "Tae. I can't do this, the thought of you getting hurt is too much for me to handle. I can't do this with you here. I'm begging you, please, will you do this for me? Will you go to safety first?"

Before Taehyung can protest more, Jeongguk leans in and kisses him. It's urgent and deep, and Taehyung feels an ache that spreads right through his heart, making him shiver and lose his mind.

Tears are welling up in his eyes but Taehyung wipes them away hastily, as words come trembling out, "I need you to go with me. Guk, please. I love you."

Jeongguk's eyes widen, and slowly a smile blooms on his face. He reaches in to plant another kiss by Taehyung's forehead, "then you will do this for me, Tae. Go, I don't know how much time we have. Go now so I can go find Chim Chim and meet up with you safely. I promise you I'll find him."

Taehyung watches with teary eyes as Jeongguk backs off and slams the car door closed. His face is shaded in the dark, but Taehyung can see the determination in his eyes. With one final glance, Jeongguk turns around and runs into the alleyway between the houses. 

Taehyung sits in the car stunned. His hand moves to the buckle for the strap, but the way Jeongguk looked stays etched on his mind and makes his hand pause. And his voice, filled with tenderness, echoes on his mind.

Then you will do this for me, Tae. 

He inhales deeply and focuses. It will all be ok. The quake has already stopped, he will go to the muster point and wait, Jungkook will come back, he always does.

The drive takes less than ten minutes, passing anxious crowds gathering on the street. Taehyung finds the hill next to the marina park, the emergency muster point sign visible from the street. He drives up the winding road to the top of the hill, clutching onto the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turn white. 

There are already other cars parked in the lot on top. People are huddled in groups, and the nervousness is palpable in the air. The violent wind is just as punishing here, and the view to the beach is blurry, dark landscapes punctured by the headlights of vehicles. Taehyung stands outside for a while and tries to make sense of all the blurry outlines down below, before eventually giving up and going back into the car. 

He slumps into the driver's seat, thankful of the silence in the car, blocking out the sound of the distant waves and wind outside. He breathes out slowly and tries to stop his body from shivering but fails.

The interior light dims, and suddenly the loneliness becomes glaring and hard to swallow.

Funny how everything in life can change in the blink of an eye.

And he feels guilt settling in, low and simmering but growing in urgency, refusing to be ignored. 

Jeongguk is out there risking his life because of him. Because he's so damn attached to Chim Chim and just had to find him. 

If only he didn't say anything, they'd still be together right now, weathering through all this together. Jeongguk wouldn't be alone, again. 

Taehyung has to force himself to stop before the thought takes over his mind. He reaches for his back pants pocket, and the familiar outline of two pills is not there.  

Taehyung looks through the desolate darkness outside the window, and feels the adrenaline and fear coursing through his veins. 

He screws his eyes shut and does something that he hasn't done in a very long time. 

He prays. 

His whole body shakes, and despair is bubbling up his heart, telling him that he's messed up again. But Taehyung tries to block it all out, saved for the small voice inside him, pleading to whomever is listening out there. 

Please. I know I'm unworthy to ask for anything. But please, for his sake, please let him be safe. I'll give up everything I have for him to be safe, I promise. 

His thought is feeble but insistent, like a mantra that repeats over and over on his mind. The tears dry eventually, and the chaos outside blends into a low hum. Taehyung prays and waits in the dark, keeping all the negative thoughts at bay as he stares right through the darkness outside. 

An hour passes, Taehyung's eyes are half-lidded, heart heavy, when he hears a gentle tap on the car window. 

He's almost afraid to look, afraid of raising hope just to have it crushed. Taehyung takes a deep breath and turns around. When he sees Jeongguk's relieved smile outside of the car, with Chim Chim safely in his arms, a sob escapes his lips. 

He opens the door and is enveloped by a tight embrace. Jeongguk's shirt is soaked, but the warmth of his body radiates through, "sorry it took so long, Chim Chim was five blocks down, someone else found him and was looking for the owner. I hitched a ride up here as soon as I could."

Something within Taehyung finally breaches, and the tears are rushing out, big salty drops that turn him into a sobbing mess. He's incoherent, no word can express the relief he feels. Taehyung cries for what seems like forever in Jeongguk's embrace, with Chim Chim meowing between them. 

In that very moment, it dawns on Taehyung that he has finally found a home - in Jeongguk. And the realization scares him, of the power Jeongguk now wields over his heart. 

Life was both tougher but simpler when he had nothing. Just living day by day, making ends meet. It was easier back then to build up a tough exterior, to not give a , when his life was worth so little even to himself. 

But now, he finally experiences fear, the kind that debilitates his mind and wrecks him from the inside out, making him irritatingly weak. The kind of fear that can only stem from love for the only person he has in the world.