There was a park nearby the Han river, with a basketball court nearby. The scenery was gorgeous, especially when it was summer. The river was sparkly with a spread of clear stardust as the bright sunlight reflected over the running water. The vast land framed along the river was weaved with paved paths and fresh green carpet with occasional dash of vibrant colours of flower shrubs. Gohee had been reluctant to go outside because of her condition, but the stunning scenery easily sent her mood up.

“Hey, let’s have a match. Between the seniors and juniors. How’s that?” Wooyoung smirked he gave a suggestion. If Munhwa wasn’t mistaken, she saw the juniors kind of shuddered. Showed how much Wooyoug had been bullying them.

“How do we divide the team then? If it’s strictly junior vs. seniors, we outnumbered the juniors. Should some of the seniors-”

“No need for that. Munhwa and Minsun can join them,”

“WHAT?!” Munhwa was about to protest but Minsun took a step forward first. She exuded determination and confidence, especially when she had her slim arms crossed. Unlike Munhwa and the other juniors, there wasn’t a slight hint of fear on Minsun’s face.

“Well, since we aren’t trained in basketball unlike you guys, and the juniors are still inexperienced, I demand a handicap for us. That is for you guys to play with the hand that you’re not used to. That hand only,” Minsun elaborated her terms smoothly, her voice cold and calm, her tone just oozed charisma. The two juniors standing behind her were gawking in awe at her when Wooyoung turned around and had a brief meeting with Taecyeon, Junho and Chansung. Taecyeon seemed laid back but Wooyoung was totally pumped up.

“Who’s that noona? She’s really cool…” Seo Jin mumbled. Munhwa wasn’t sure if he was just talking to himself or he was asking her, but she smiled and answered anyway.

“That’s Seo Minsun.”

The two junior boys sharply turned their heads at Munhwa, eyes wide and surprised.

“Seo Minsun?! You mean Taecyeon sunbae’s ex?” Seo Jin whispered, hard to believe the infamous Seo Minsun was right there in front of him, looking very different from what he saw on the internet. This Seo Minsun had short, boyish hair and was charismatic, confident and looked nothing like the quiet, timid, gentle Minsun as he had heard from people before.

“Heh!” Wooyoung smirked when he turned around; after the brief strategy meeting with Taecyeon and the other seniors was over.

“Sure. We’ll accept your condition. But the losing team will have to do whatever as requested by the winning team. Whichever team scored the first 3 points wins.”

Minsun hesitated for a moment as she stared hard at Wooyoung’s annoying smirk.

“Deal.” Minsun said calmly.

“Deal!”

Gohee who was sitting on the picnic spread smiled as she observed the burning winning desire coming from both team. She was given the responsible of blowing the whistle and taking note of their score while Junsu helped to throw the ball before the match started. Even though it would be easier if Junsu took on Gohee’s tasks too, the team wanted everyone to be involved in this little game, especially Gohee.

Taecyeon made good use of his height to snatch the ball into his team, but playing with his left hand and only that hand was still a handicap of some kind. He was sure the rest of the members were the same too. The ball flew sideways when he meant to threw it to Wooyoung, luckily Junho was nearby and he managed to received the ball well. Despite the awkward feeling that he was dribbling with his left hand, Junho smoothly made his way towards the goal post by expertly dribbling the ball while passing through Seo Jin’s defense. He managed to get near to the goal post and made a successful lay-up shot; the ball barely passed through the net though because of Seo Jin’s interference.

“That was 1 point for the Senior team!” Gohee shouted from her seat. Wooyoung seemed the happiest from the senior team when he yelled ‘YES!’ the loudest and even pumped a few punches to the air. His reaction totally annoyed the hell out of Minsun. Before they started again, Minsun managed to steal a glance towards Gohee as she made her way towards her position. Gohee shook her little fist and mouthed ‘Fighting!’ to the younger girl. Minsun smiled and nodded, when she was secretly hoping that Jaebum was already here to meet Gohee, just like how she had planned. She began to doubt if Jaebum would actually come now.

The game continued anyway. This time, Seo Jin managed to snatch the ball from Chansung. Comparing the two, Chansung was taller and bigger. Seo Jin’s lean body enabled him to move fast with more flexibility. With a little trick, even an experienced senior like Chansung could be defeated with his agility. Seo Jin dribbled the ball towards their goal post until both Junho and Taecyeon decided they went on a combo defense on him, so he successfully passed the ball to Munhwa. Munhwa ran forward and quickly passed the ball to Minsun when Chansung blocked her way. Minsun was about to pass the ball to Seo Jin again when suddenly Wooyoung passed by her and snatched the ball from her with his right hand – which automatically violated their agreement earlier on - making her gasped in shocking disbelief. He smirked and winked at her before he changed the ball to his left hand, continuing the game with the handicap he had agreed upon earlier.

And again, they scored another point with a lay-up shot. Wooyoung boasted his prediction so much Minsun couldn’t help but rolled her eyes in annoyance.

“Oh, no! What to do! There’s another point left! Should I let you guys score at least a point before we finish this game?” Wooyoung said. The other seniors were just laughing at his ridiculous confidence and determination of winning this game. The game was just meant to be casual and fun but seemed like Wooyoung kept pushing the wrong button on Minsun. Minsun stepped closer to him, so close that Wooyoung could see her little black pupil dilating, clearly determined to win over him.

“You know what, Wooyoung? You’re going to regret this so bad.” Minsun said in a dangerously low tone, which only caused Wooyoung to laugh louder and more.

Minsun gathered her little team closely, and whispered to them her final tactic.

“Guys, listen to this. I wasn’t planning to use this tactic earlier, but Wooyoung cheated just now. This is going to be our last chance.”

Munhwa nodded enthusiastically. Minsun whsipered a few words to them, and it was already over by the time Wooyoung was creeping up to them trying to listen to the little strategy meeting. Minsun pushed Wooyoung away in the face as she told him to start the game soon.

Apparently, Minsun’s idea of cheating was much more complicated than Wooyoung’s. She elbowed guys’ ribs and stepped on their feet, as long as the ball was stuck to her hands. She told Munhwa to forget about dribbling and just ran with the ball and passed it to the juniors to let them score a point. Wooyoung was uncontrollably enraged with Minsun’s rather unethical play, but Taecyeon and the other seniors couldn’t care less. They laughed out loud at the junior team’s antics and just gave up playing at all. In no time, the junior team scored the much needed 3 points.

“You cheated!” Wooyoung shouted. Minsun wasn’t affected by his tantrum the least as she maintained her posture and rested her fists on her hip.

“And so did you. But we won anyway,” she said with a straight face.

“So, what do you guys want as the prize?” Munhwa turned to Seo Jin and the other two juniors. They all exchanged looks but no words came out of their mouth. With Wooyoung glaring at them the whole time, Munhwa understood that the juniors wouldn’t dare asking for anything at all. Munhwa looked at Minsun, and the other girl quickly had another idea to celebrate their victory.

“Let me decide for them, then,” Minsun offered. Chansung quickly put up both his palm facing Minsun, as if shielding his body from letting Minsun getting closer.

“Wait, wait. Be easy on us. We let you guys win anyway,” he pouted – on purpose, of course – to beg mercy from Minsun.

“Oh, don’t worry Chansung. I’m sure you guys will love this too. All I’m asking is for Wooyoung to perform his cheap dance for the juniors.”

Everyone else, except Wooyoung of course, enthusiastically nodded their head and clapped their hands in excitement, anticipating Wooyoung’s special performance.

“Are you guys serious?!” Wooyoung roared, completely against everyone else’s decisions, “I’m the team captain! How can you guys do this to me?!”

Munhwa pouted, “Come on, Wooyoung! Just this once! Show your juniors your special skill. You’ve been too strict on them! ”

“Yeah!” Minsun nodded, “I haven’t seen you do that dance for a while. Perform it for us.”

Wooyoung looked away, hiding his face which was distorted with disgust.

“Tch. the two girls I had crushes on are trampling all over my heart,” Wooyoung whispered to himself.

Gohee laughed along with the rest of the people while watching Wooyoung’s solo performance. Laughters rang into the sky, rendering the air light and merry which caused Gohee to feel very relaxed. Since she recovered from her coma, going out wasn’t an option she favored. In fact she felt insecure and anxious going out on her wheelcahir. Life just changed a whole lot for her outside. She always had to rely on someone even just to cross the road or enter a building. The picnic this evening made her forgot all those, even just for a short while.

It wasn’t long until Wooyooung suddenly ran away, causing the juniors, along with Chansung and Junho chasing him around the park with their video cam. Minsun still looked back at Gohee from time to time, trying to see if Jaebum had come. Gohee who had no idea smiled gently and waved at the younger girl when she turned around again. She felt weird this time though because Minsun didn’t smile back or responded to her wave. She just turned around again and whispered something to Munhwa. Taecyeon too looked at her with a worried look briefly, and then looked away again.

Gohee began to suspect something from their avoidant reaction but she couldn’t guess what it was. Until she felt a heavy air hovering above her, casting a cold shadow over her. Gohee looked over her shoulder and saw him.

Park Jaebum.

He was standing a couple of feet away, looking directly at her with gentle eyes. His black hair had grown slightly longer which soften his facial feature. He had always had such sharp looking eyes which made him looked intense. And she had missed that face so much.

Gohee couldn’t bear looking at that face anymore and looked away. She kept her head low, so he couldn’t see her as well. She was the one who pushed him away and hurt him first. She was the one who told him not to see her again.

“Hey,” he said. His voice soft, barely audible.

Gohee just froze stiff. She wasn’t sure how to react to this because they weren’t supposed to meet anymore.

“It’s been a while,” he added. There was a hint of melancholy in his voice.

Gohee barely hummed her reply.

“How are you doing?”

“…Good. Just as usual.”

The two voluntarily let silence enveloped the little bubble about them. There were all sort of things going on with the rest of the group but right now the surrounding greatly subdued to a blurry background. Gohee could no longer tell if the kids were having fun or laughing loudly because her mind was filled with Jaebum, Jaebum, and only Jaebum.

The two looked over at the basketball court. They were still trying to get Wooyoung to dance, but the boy stubbornly kept running away. 

“How about you?” Gohee plucked on her courage and decided to ask.

“Missing you, like always.” He said bluntly. He meant it in all seriousness, half wanting to make her feel bad for abandoning him, half being completely honest and true.

Gohee looked at him, her brows furrowed, as if scolding him for saying such things. Jaebum replied her response with a smile. A genuine one, not laced with sadness or any bitter feelings. She still found Gohee’s stern look most attractive. He still remembered all the times when Gohee scolded him for his desire of public display of affection. He couldn’t help it. Gohee was so perfect he wanted to show the world that this girl was his.

“Stop it then.” She coldly, sternly ordered him so. The conversation began to head towards that very same conversation they last had before their official break up. 

“You’re so mean, Gohee.”

“I’ve made it clear to you didn’t I?”

Jaebum looked at the ground as he rubbed the back of his neck. He had wanted to talk to her, but he was worried that she would push him away. Well, she was already doing. A soft sigh escaped his full lips.

“I can’t Gohee. I can’t stay away for you. Especially not when you’re planning to be alone for the rest of your life. I know you too well, and you know me too.”

Gohee’s fingers fidgeted as she listened to his explanation.

“I’ll come back even if you tell me not to.”

“I told you, didn’t I? I’m going to stay this way forever, so don’t come back to me again. What’s the point of coming back? It’s not like things could go back to the way it was if we stay together.”

“Gohee, please.” Jaebum said softly, begging. “There’s so much more out there. It doesn’t have to be how things were back then. If… If I promise not to see you again, can you promise me to be happy?”

Gohee stayed silent. She couldn’t answer. Her fingers crept up to her chest, tightly grabbing the thin fabric into her grasp. She closed her eyes to keep calm but all sorts of denials were screaming from her heart, echoing into her head one after another. It’s pressuring her from inside. She felt like something was crushing her.

“Just leave me alone…” she said with all difficulty, her heart began to beat rapidly.

“Tell me Gohee, promise me. That you will be happy. That somewhere in the future,” Jaebum paused, swallowing the thick lump in his throat as he tried to say it with his own mouth, the most painful thing for him, “Even if it isn’t me, you’ll find a person who’ll love you no matter what, and live happily with him.”

“You don’t understand!”

“Then make me. Make me understand Gohee. Tell me everything. Scream at me if you want. Just don’t push me away like this.”

“You don’t… You don’t understand…” she repeated. She couldn’t find the right words to describe what she was feeling, or why she was acting like this. She tried to fight away her fears but it was always there, she couldn’t see a way out. The future to her, looked so dark. She didn’t want to be afraid but the fear kept coming back to her, haunting her at every given chance. She tried to be strong but the fear was stronger that it easily drove her to the corner, shaking.

“Gohee, listen. Everything isn’t like what you’re thinking. There’s still so much more out here. You just haven’t tried it yet. It will be okay, everyone else is right here by your side, don’t be afraid anymore,” Jaebum told her gently.

“No…” Gohee shook her head. Her pale cheeks now tinted with a deep shade of red. Her eyes now glistening with tears which threatened to spill anytime from then. “Just… Leave me alone...”

“Gohee?” Jaebum called her and walked around her to position himself in front of her. Just now, he sensed something different from her voice, like she was having problems with breathing. Jaebum crouched in front of her, but he couldn’t see her face. She had been staring at the ground.

“Gohee are you okay?” He gently slipped her fingers on her cheek, tilting her face slightly higher so he could see her. She was at the verge of tears, her face was covered with small beads of sweat.

“G... Go away...” Gohee said in trembling voice. Her shaky hands insisted at pushing him away from her but she was too weak to do so. Her breathing quickly turned ragged an uneven, and that sight of her suffering scared Jaebum a little inside. He remained calm anyway and tried to get her calm down.

It was here again. That fear. That fear that was eating her from inside. She wanted to scream for help but she couldn’t, because nobody can save her from that monster. They couldn’t see it, they couldn’t take it away from her because it was inside her. It scared her to let them see her in that condition.

“Gohee, take deep breath. Listen to me, okay? Take a deep breath, and calm down.” Jaebum instructed.

Gohee tried to do as he told her, but it was too difficult. She clutched the cloth on her chest tighter as it turned harder to breathe. She had experienced this once, during one of her rehab sessions. The doctor described it as a panic attack. The symptoms were the same: palpitation, difficulty breathing, blurry vision and dizziness.

“Take me home,” she begged. Her voice turned coarse, tears shamelessly streamed down her cheeks, “Please,”

“I’ll take you home, okay? Just calm down. Take a deep breath,”

Jaebum turned back and waved to the group which was still having fun at the basketball court. They realized Jaebum’s sign and paused whatever they were doing. Taecyeon even began to walk towards Jaebum without being called.

“I need a hand right here!” Jaebum shouted.

 -

His eyes wildly scanned the surrounding as he ran down the narrow path of the humble neighborhood. As an athlete, he was used to running around for a long time, such activity didn’t easily wear him out. He had started around the area where he lived because it was nearby where Minsun used to live with her grandmother. Wooyoung ran all the way from his neighborhood, passing a couple of bus stops behind until he slowed down at the bus stop which Minsun usually stopped at before. It was really nearby her grandmother’s house, but there was still another 10 minutes walk befpre it was actually there. Across the bus stop was a small playground. Since it was late at night the playground was void of any soul, barely lit up from the street light nearby. Wooyoung proceeded to the narrow path which would lead to her grandmother’s house, but paused and took a couple of steps backward when he thought something was wrong with the playground.

He stared at the still playground, and then glanced at his watch.

11.48 p.m.

It wasn’t that late. There couldn’t be any ghosts at times like this, right?

Wooyoung squinted his small eyes to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. Right when he was about to take his turn to the narrow path, he thought he felt something passed by the covered cylinder slide. Now that he had a careful look, there was no one around.

“Yah, Seo Minsun!” He called out, just to be sure. He waited for a second. Two seconds. Three seconds. There was no answer. Probably that was a stray cat jumping out from somewhere else. He decided to get going. It was getting late and Munhwa hasn’t called again. Minsun must have-

“OH MY GOD!!!” Wooyoung jumped backwards and landed on his bottom. Suddenly something popped out from the bottom of that covered cylinder slide. Wooyoung was so surprised that he fell and closed his eyes in fear.

“Yah, open your eyes!” a familiar voice broke the silence, followed by a soft trail of giggle.

Wooyoung slowly opened his eyes, and there she was. Smiling and softly laughing at him. Minsun stood still in front of the slide, waiting as he slowly lifted up his off the ground, patting the dust away and then limply walked towards her. Wooyoung winced from the lingering pain on his .

“Ah, for real. Why did you do that?! You’re trying to scare me on purpose aren’t you?!” He yelled.  “Why are you here, anyway? I thought you went to your grandmother’s house.”

“I wanted to, but I guess I have to wait a bit longer. My mom had her men all over this place searching for me. When I heard you calling my name, I thought it was one of them so I hid in the slide.”

Wooyoung looked around after listening to Minsun’s explanation, trying to find any of those ‘men’ around, luckily there was none.

“It was pretty dark here. And no one was around so I don’t think they’ll be hanging around here.”

Wooyoung sighed as he took a seat on a bench which was quite shadowed and dark for anybody to see him there. Minsun followed him, but she didn’t sit down with him.

“You said you were going home but Nichkhun said you weren’t home yet. Munhwa was worried, you know?” Wooyoung frowned.

Minsun stared at the ground guiltily, “I told you. I just want to visit my grandmother for a bit.”

Wooyoung scoffed and muttered something inaudible to Minsun under his breath. Minsun wasn’t concerned though.

Minsun looked at the sky, a look of fatigue was written all over her face. Her eyes were clouded, her breathing deep and consistent, but she did seemed tired.

“You were right, Wooyoung. The picnic wasn’t a good idea,” Minsun suddenly said.

“Do you regret what happened?”

Minsun looked down, straight into his eyes. “For some reason…”

“I don’t. You don’t too, I know,” he grinned, flashing his perfect white pearls. Minsun chuckled at his reply. Wooyoung continued later.

“When I look back on it, it felt like, that was the biggest thing that happened to her since she woke up. I’m sure that would change the way she thinks, at least a bit. She got to speak with Jaebum hyung. In case she shut herself from the world, I guess we just keep trying. It’s really as simple as that.”

“You actually did sound mature there.”

Wooyoung’s eyes widened, like he was really surprised. He looked at her like was she an alien that it made her feel uncomfortable.

“What?” She asked, her tone was unfriendly, indicating the awkwardness she was feeling.

“You telling me I sound mature-” Wooyoung tilted his head in disbelief and narrowed his eyes at Minsun in suspicion.

Minsun sighed. “I heard you made a junior from the basketball team bought you an ice cream just because he spilled one onto your shoes.”

“Damn it Munhwa!” Wooyoung looked away to cuss, but Minsun heard him loud and clear.

“So…” Wooyoung cleared his throat, “you girls talk about me a lot, huh?”

Minsun rolled her eyes. She ignored him and began to walk away from the playground, heading to the main road. Wooyoung followed her trail. It seemed like Minsun was walking with no specific destination in her mind. She was just walking around, trying to keep her mind at ease after what had happened. She was coping with her own despair, that was what.

The silence was dragged on as Minsun took random turns at the walking path, just enjoying the silence of the night. On the other hand, Wooyoung started to feel uneasy at the long silence. He was itching to make some noise. Talking or bickering or whatever, he liked it better when it wasn’t too quiet. Usually in horror movies, the ghosts always popped up when it was most quiet.

“Ehem, ehem!” Wooyoung cleared his throat again. Minsun chuckled at his attempt of starting something.

“You know, that time when you said how I was cooler back then?”

“Oh, not again…”

“When did you realize the fact that I indeed looked coolest when I was being reckless?”

“I never said you looked coolest doing anything, Wooyoung.”

“You said I was cooler before.” Wooyoung frowned, stubbornly insisting that Minsun did associate the word cool with him. He was also actually sneakily looking for hints about how Minsun felt about him.

“Well, comparing the current you and the previous you, well, you were cooler before. But if I compare you with most guys than you are sadly not cool at all,”

“It’s good enough that you’re sad for me,” Wooyoung mumbled to himself, taking Minsun’s reply as a positive hint. Minsun shook her head at how pathetic that sounded.

“Did you think I was cool when I drag you out from that whatever launching event?”

“Seriously?”

“C’mon, this is important! I need your feedback. Or do you think I was coolest when I broke into your home? Ok, I’ll do this, A. Wooyoung is coolest when he-”

“Go home, Wooyoung.”

“Wait.” Wooyoung jogged up to her and stood in her way, blocking her path. She almost bumped into him when he did so Minsun stared at him with a stern look. Well, he was back to his previous self for sure.  Annoying, nosy, determined.

“What were you thinking when you kissed me at that time? I mean, my cheek, of course,”

Minsun was taken aback at his question just now. She stared at him wide eyed, her lips frozen stiff. She couldn’t believe what she heard that she almost had to ask him to repeat his question. A few seconds passed by just like that and Minsun still couldn’t get her brain work straight.

Wooyoung suddenly shook his head and then looked into her eyes again. He looked serious, but a bit anxious. He put his hands on her shoulders, as if trapping her there, forcing her to pay her whole attention to him, not letting her go away.

“No, forget it. You don’t have to answer it. Just listen to this. For some reason, I feel like I have to tell you this now.”

Minsun gulped. The building anticipation inside her was too intense she almost felt like running away from him. But her feet were glued on the floor and his grip on her shoulders became firmer.

“Seo Minsun, I like you. Wait, no, it was more than just ‘like’. Since you left, there was not a single day when I didn’t think of you. It’s crazy.”

Minsun just turned into a lifeless statue. Her wide-opened eyes didn’t blink. She didn’t look away. Her feet were glued on the ground. Wooyoung just stared into her wide eyes in silent. The air suddenly felt so thick he found it hard to breath. His heart was racing and he was too shocked at what he just did himself that he couldn’t move or say anything.

The longer they stayed that way, the more it became unbearable to Minsun. She finally looked away, feeling a lot of emotions at the same time it was confusing. She was glad that it was dark or he would have seen how red her face had became.

“It’s really crazy,” Wooyoung repeated.

Wooyoung  slowly put his hands away from her shoulder s and turned around, facing her with his back. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. The situation just now felt so strange to him. It felt like his body acted way advance before his brain that he only registered what had happened just now. There was one thing he felt for sure though, it was relief. He was relieved that he let it out his chest. There was a slight bitterness though, because realistically speaking, he knew it would never work out between them two.

“I’ll walk you back to your grandma’s place.” He softly said without looking back at her and then slowly started stepping forward. Minsun on the other hand was still glued to her spot; her head was spinning so fast, like she had so much to think but her brain couldn’t afford the heavy duty task. Only when Wooyoung was like about 5 meters ahead of her, she started to move; walking, running, catching up to him like she would never see him again and grabbed one of his wrist, forcing him to stop.

Wooyoung turned around, looking at her questioningly. He waited for her to say something but she didn’t.

She was contemplating.

She wanted to tell him that she liked him too, but what was the point? She will leave again, and who knew when she will be back again? And if they meet again, how does she greet him? Where does she put him then? Will he remain a friend? Or will they automatically considered dating if she responded positively to his confession? But she still wanted him to know that he was really important to her.

Minsun had always been bad with words but at a situation like this, it was impossible to do anything with words.

And so she finally resorted to grabbing onto his collar with both her hands, pulled him closer to her, tip-toed, and crushed her lips onto his. He was too shocked that his whole body became stiff but quickly responded to her kiss the next second. He circled his arms around her small waist, albeit a bit hesitant at first as she did around his neck, and pressed his lips further into hers and slowly savored the softness of it.

When they each pulled back, they let a few seconds passed by just looking into each other’s eyes quietly.

“I’ll be leaving for London again… Soon, I guess,” Minsun said softly, like she was almost whispering.

“Yeah,” Wooyoung nodded a little, totally understanding her.

And then they just walked side by side without saying a word. Just making use of the opportunity to feel each others’ presence when they were the most transparent towards each other.