2 years ago…




“Why is it so cold?…” Subin mumured to herself. She tightened the shawl on her neck and rubbed her arm up and down as winter’s coldness found its way into her bones, despite the number of people in the gym. Nobody heard her murmur either since everyone else there were passionately rooting and cheering for their favorite basketball teams on the court. It was her first time watching a basketball game live. It was so exciting, but shewas laready tired. She hated herelf for being so weak.

“Are you okay?”

Subin flinched, startled when somebody interrupted her train of thoughts. She looked up and saw Khun smiling at her, his hand stretched towards her, offering her a can of warm coffee. She smiled and accepted his offering.

“Thank you, Khun oppa.”

Khun returned her smile as he took his seat again. He adjusted the muffler on Subin’s neck and patted her head. She seemed to like what he did. Being a lone child, she enjoyed being treated like a little sister, and Khun acting like a protective older brother to her. Her parents, being the stoic, busy businessmen they were, they never had the time to spoil her; in fact they always taught her to be formal, prim and proper, and always reminded her of her responsibility as the heir to their business empire.

And she hated it.

“Are you okay?” Khun repeated his question. “You don’t seem well. Do you want to go home?”

Subin quickly shook her head. She replied with her usual gentle tone, “I want to watch until the end. There’s only 10 minutes left anyway.”

A loud cheer from the crowds pulled back their attention on the court, and there was a tall guy hanging by the net loop, watching the ball which had just gone through it hit the ground before he let go of the loop and landed on the ground. There was a wide smile on his handsome face, all his teeth showing as his team mates rushed towards him and crushed him in a big team hug.

“He’s the one whom I told you about.” Khun pointed at the tall guy who had just dunked the ball through the net.

“Um…” Subin mumbled, trying to remember the name. She leaned sideways closer to Khun so that he could hear his voice over the loud noise. “Tae… Ok Taecyeon, isn’t it?”

“Yeah!” Khun nodded.

“That was the slam dunk just now, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. Doesn’t it seems cooler when you watch it live?”

Subin nodded, so Khun continued.

“And you don’t always get to see that.”





The match had ended a while ago and the gym hall was empty now. Subin was chatting casually with Khun, they both standing at the entrance door, occasionally broke into light laughters.  Their attention was diverted when the basketball team appeared, clad in their school training suits with their sports bags clung over their shoulders. Taecyeon broke into yet another wide smile as soon as his eyes met Khun’s. He quickly bid goodbye to his teammates and jogged ahead towards Khun.

“Khun!”

“Hey, Taec!”

The boys exchanged some funky handmoves with wide grin plastered on their faces until they proceeded to a light hug; their hands still clasped with each other while the other patted each other’s backs. When they let go of each other, the two boys broke into loud, masculine cackles. Subin who had been watching couldn’t help but smile at their display of brotherhood. 

“It’s been a while, eh?” Taecyeon asked.

“Yeah. I’ve been a bit busy,”

Taecyeon’s eyes drifted to Subin’s small frame. Compared to them both, Subin looked very small, and her gentle features gave off a really fragile vibe.

Taecyeon’s bright expression changed. He seemed surprised that Khun could do something he found really difficult; dating, when in fact it wasn’t a big deal among teenagers. Except him of course. His phobia of girls was definitely one of those  many rare and special cases. 

“Wha- You didn’t tell me that you-”

“We’re not like that, idiot.” Khun playfully punched the taller guy’s rib. “This is Subin, a dongseng of mine. We go to the same school.”

“Oh, that expensive school?” Taecyeon innocently looked back and forth between Subin and Khun. 

“She’s my mentee on our school’s mentor-mentee programme. Coincidentally, our parents are pretty close friends.”

“I-I see. Nice to meet you,” Taecyeon smiled shyly. Subin just nodded with no expression on her face. She usually seemed cold, especially towards people she met for the first time. Taecyeon silently gulped at the lackluster feedback, thinking if he did anything wrong for her to look that unpleased to meet him. Khun could sense his anxiety  and then chuckled softly to himself since he knew well Taecyeon’s weakness.

“Subin can’t be outside for long, so I’m going to send her home first, and why don’t we hangout together after that?” Khun suggested.

“Sounds great. I’ll be waiting at our usual spot.”

“Alright, see you there.”





3 months later…

Subin forced open her tired lids, only to see the same cold white ceiling of her suite room again. She felt weak, despite been resting on her bed the whole day. Perhaps that was the main reason for her to feel very languid. Subin slightly turned her head to her left, where her sidetable was and looked at the clock.

It was 5.00 p.m., which meant she had been sleeping for over 10 hours, but she wasn’t to blame though. She wasn’t able to sleep after the painful spinal tap procedure she had to go through yesterday, and still had to cope with the headache which was one of the common side effects. The doctor advised her to spend a day to just rest and lay down afterwards, but she only managed to get into sleep at very early in the morning.

Subin pulled her body up, and then felt her head herself. She still felt a bit warm, but she was getting better. If she ate and took her medicine properly, the fever might be gone by tomorrow. She looked at the window, where the sound of laughing kids came from. She got up and stood by the window, supporting her weight with her hands at the window frame and scanned the courtyard five floors below. There was a beautiful, small herb garden, and a playground next to it. There was a large bunch of kids surrounding a guy in wheelchair, one of his leg wrapped in a thick, white cast. The kids were all laughing and jumping around as the guy spun an orange ball on his fingers, dribbled it and then shoot it into a loop, all while sitting still on his wheelchair. She smiled at how amused the little kids were. She enjoyed the little moment, more so than she ever had since her stay at the hospital, despite staying at an expensive, private suite.




2.00 a.m.

Subin quietly sneaked out of her private room, all the way down to the ground floor. She would definitely get yelled by the nurses if they ever caught her. However, most of the lights at the hopsital were turned off, so it wasn’t that difficult to stay hidden. Subin had her moment of sleeplessness, so she thought it would be great to get some fresh air outside. However, she was feeling weak lately, so she had to go on a wheelchair.

Even from afar, Subin could hear the sound of a ball bouncing on the hard, cemented ground. And then again, the ball made a loud noise as it shot through its loop. Under the dim light, Subin could make out the silhoutte of a guy sitting on a wheelchair, endlessly dribbling his orange ball and then made a successful shot at the toy loop attached to the equipments at the playground. But then, since he was sitting on a wheelchair, the height was just right for him. He picked up the ball again to repeat the same action. He turned around to get back at his previous spot but paused instead when he realized that there was a girl watching him.

“Um, hi.” Subin timidly greeted. She felt awkward for being caught watching him. The guy kept staring at her, which added to her discomfort around strangers. However, when their eyes met, the more familiar he seemed to her.

“Aren’t you-”
“Aren’t you-”

He was Ok Taecyeon from that basketball team. Khun oppa’s best friend whom he had known since they were young. The one who slam dunked on the last game she watched. The one with lots of girl fans but for some reason had never dated. The one who was called the ace in his team. Khun oppa talked a lot about him.

She was Kim Subin. Khun’s beloved dongseng who were very fragile and often fell sick. The one who don’t talk to people because she was afraid of making friends. The one who secretly enjoys basketball matches because Khun influenced her, even though her parents would rather she practices her piano instead. The one who was very naïve and only studies for all her life. Khun talked a lot about her.

“What happened to you?” Subin looked at his leg with the with the cast.

“Well, I got careless during practice,so… you know. What about you?”

“Well, I just… um… got sick.”

They both just stared at each other’s wheelchair, and then, for some reason, chuckled together.




“Oppa. Um… can we cancel our tutoring session tomorrow?”

Khun looked up from his book. It was unlike Subin to ask to be exempted from studying. Besides, she had been been hospitalised for three long months, she had been mising out a lot even though he often came to hospital for her tutoring session.

“Tomorrow? On Saturday? Why?”

“Well…” Subin leaned closer so Khun could hear her whisper. “Taecyeon oppa told me that he will be having a match with the national’s team tomorrow night to collect donation. It sounds like fun, I really want to go,”

Khun contemplated for a while. Besides, it had been less than a week since she was released from the hospital, she should be spending her time resting at home. But then, Subin rarely requested anything for herself, her parents had always been so posessive and controlling over her, just like his; so he totally understood her feelings and how sad she would be for not being able to fulfill a small wish of her own.

“Well, if you can promise me that you will take care of yourself…”

“I promise,”

“Okay. I’ll keep it a secret from your parents.”

“Thanks oppa. Aren’t you coming too?”

Khun shook his head while smiling to her. “I have other important things to do that night. Have fun but don’t forget to take care, okay?”

Subin nodded.




Subin looked around the gym of a college nearby her neighborhood, and they were already filled with so many people. A lot of them were fans and supporters of both team, the team from Miryung Middle School, which was the team Taecyeon was in, and of course the national basketball team. Subin spotted a group of kids, not just any kids, but kids with physical and mental retardation in a uniform sky blue shirt with their charity house’s name written on it. They seemed eager for the match to get started. There were also volunteers here and there making sure the event running smoothly.

“You came!”

Subin turned to her left, and slowly a smile crept up her lips when she saw Taecyeon walking towards her.

“Are you alone? Khunnie aren’t coming with you?” Taecyeon looked around, expecting to find Khun nearby.

Subin shook her head. “I came here alone.”

Taecyeon looked worried.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I mean, you’ve only been released from-”

“I’m okay,” Subin firmly stated, while still smiling gently.

Taecyeon smiled back at her. The time he spent at the hospital with her had pulled them closer together. She began asking a lot on how Taecyeon gained his skills in basketball. He even taught her a few tricks to kept her occupied from the pain of her procedures. Even when he had been discharged long before she did, Taecyeon became a regular visitor at the hospital, usually with Khun along. They would study together. He would share his stories about basketball, the summer camp they had each year to solidify their basic skills and athletic abilities, while Khun would share his stories about Thailand, about how he kept moving from one country to the other as well as adapting to life in South Korea. They each kept Subin accompanied from time to time, since her parents were too busy to spend even a day visiting her, and the doctor said her emotional stability boosted her recovery.

Now, the quiet, cold Subin was a headstrong, yet sweet girl with a gorgeous smile to Taecyeon. Whenever they met up, she would never hesitate to show her beautiful smile.

“Come on, let me show you your seat.”




The matches started not long after the guests filled all the seats. The event was very successful by looking at the number of the visitors, and that boosted the participants mood to make the event more enjoyable that night. After the basketball matches, they had a few individual talent show by the kids from the charity house. There was a guy with a pair of hands but no leg, but was very athlethic. He demonstrated a push-up, and asked for a volunteer from the audience to sit on his back. Taecyeon urged Subin to give it a try, and she definitely had a great time doing it. Taecyeon knew she would feel motivated as well seeing how these people went against their destiny and survived.

The event ended around 10.00 p.m., and Taecyeon insisted that he walked her home. It was early spring so it could get really chilly at night. He wanted to make sure she arrived home safe and sound with his own eyes.

“Next time, can you teach me how to shoot a three-point-shot?” Subin asked a few steps away from the main gate of her humongous mansion.

“But that shot is tough, even I can’t-”

“That’s why I want you to teach me. Promise me,”

“Oh well, okay,”

“What, you don’t seem willing,”

“Sorry. I just don’t want you to push yourself. Knowing you, you might…”

“I know how to take care of myself, okay?”

“Sorry,”

They both stood there in the awkward, not sure what else to say or do, but not yet ready to bid goodbye. Subin clasped her fingers behind her as her feet drew little circles on the ground.

“Do you want to come in?” Subin asked.

Taecyeon smiled lazily, “Nah, it’s late. Hurry up and go to sleep.” Taecyeon gently patted her head, and then her cheek, and then his thumb stopped under her chin. They both were engulfed in yet another awkward silence. She braved herself to look up at him.

It felt so wrong for him to let this moment pass just like that.

And so, he leaned closer to her face until he could feel her breath, and gently kiss on her waiting lips.




A few weeks has passed and Subin’s bond with Taecyeon just got stronger. They spent more time together, practicing the three-point-shot that he had promised to teach her. And she made sure to practice diligently on her own time because she had never scored the shoot for once ever since she learned it. Khun noticed her change when she started cut short her tutoring session or replace them at night so that she could go to Taecyeon’s school in the evening and watch him practice. Sometimes she would be accompanied by Munhwa, so that she could tell Khun that at least her best friend was there to watch for her. But that didn’t stop him from giving her warnings a lot of times to always watch for her health but she stubbornly brushed him off saying she knew how to take care of herself.






“I want to show you something,” she nonchalantly said.

“But it’s late. You shouldn’t go out at times like this. Are you sure you keep your sleeping hours enough? Because you need it,” Taecyeon glanced at the clock by his bed and it showed 2.00 a.m. Just now Subin called out of the blue asking him to come out to the school gym, saying she had to show him something. 

“If I don’t show you now, who knows when else I could. I might not be able to show it to you at all,”

“Subin!”

“I’m already here, so I’ll be waiting for you. Please?”

And then she hung up. Taecyeon was dumbfounded at her sudden request and demanding behavior, but then quickly got up and changed, ready to head out.




Taecyeon ran as hard as he could right after he threw his bicycle away at the locked main gate. He had to climbed over the gate before he finally arrived at the gym and pushed the door open with force, causing a loud noise. In it, there was a girl clad in her uniform, not the uniform he saw everyday around him, but the uniform of a very well-known, prestigious, private school in Seoul. She slowly turned around, not the slightest surprised by the loud noise and gave him a smile.

“Subin! You havent gone home since school ended? Didn’t-”

“Watch this.” She calmly said. From her spot, the exact middle area of a basketball court, she raised her arm, with an orange colored ball on her palm. Gently, she threw the ball mid-air, her feet gracefully left the ground going upwards. The ball flew calmly, directly towards the loop and eventually went through it. The sound of the ball hitting the net, and then the ground, resonated through out the empty gym.

Taecyeon witnessed the whole sequence in awe. The shot was perfect.

“I did it. I finally did it.”

She smiled wide. But her pale face disturbed him. A drop of sweat trickled down from her temple all the way to her chin. Her bangs wet and stuck to her face. Subin raised her arm, attempting to wipe off her sweat, but her arm paused midway as gravity first pulled her whole body onto the ground, causing her sight to turn into complete blackness.






Subin was admitted into hospital again. She could choose to be nursed privately at home, but she would be lonelier at home. Her parents were rarely home, it was more fun staying at the hospital watching all kinds of people who went there. It was a month since she passed out after she scored her first, official three-point-shot, but the moment she opened her eyes she never saw Taecyeon ever since. It was always Nichkhun or Munhwa who came visiting her.

Worst of all, her health condition drastically gone worst. She used to go around the hospital in the evening. Even when she felt weak, she could always take the wheelchair, but nowadays, she couldn’t even leave the bed. 

“Hey,”

Subin gently turned her head to her left, and saw Munhwa’s head peeking from behind the door. She slowly smiled to her friend. Munhwa entered the lavish, private suite and gently closed the door so it wouldn’t make noise. Munhwa made her way towards Subin’s bed and sat on the chair near it.

If she had to describe her in one word, that it would be horrible. Subin looked horrible to her, and it tore her to pieces inside to see her like that. She was horribly pale, she lost a lot of weight, lost a lot of hair from her intensive chemotheraphy, her voice weak and shaky, and she couldn’t even move a finger. There were times when Munhwa came that she was in so much pain, wincing and crying, alone without her parents by her side but there was nothing she could do. The doctor even had to stop her treatment temporarily, afraid that her life would be endangered if she continued her treatment.

“How are you today?” Munhwa gently asked her as she took Subin’s cold, white fngers into her and softly squeezed them.

“Sick, as always,” she answered, smiling to it.

“I met Nichkhun sshi on the way here, he said he will come see you tonight,”

Subin nodded. But there was always something else bugging her mind.

“Did you see Taecyeon oppa at school today?”

Munhwa’s expression faltered. She seemed to find it difficult to answer the question. Subin asked her a lot about Taecyeon. She used to ask Nichkhun, since they were close friends after all, but she stopped when she started seeing the change in his face whenever she mentioned Taecyeon’s name.  Nichkhun just seemed unpleased to hear that name from her lips, even though he never said anything about Taecyeon.

“Actually, I do.”

“How was he?”

Munhwa sighed. “Same. I heard from his friends that he hadn’t come to practice at all this week.”

“He did?”

Munhwa nodded sadly. “He… I don’t see him smiling ever since, Subin…”

Subin sighed. 

“I should have known better. All I ever do is becoming a burden to others. Including you too, Munhwa. Am I right?”

“What are you talking about? I never-”

“Think about it. If I didn’t meet Taecyeon oppa, he wouldn’t have to suffer like this don’t you think?  I simply walk in and out of people’s lives like it doesn’t matter to them. Just because he was nice to me, I forgot that I couldn’t handle commitment. That was just the same with my parents who always want the best for me that they abandoned the people who had always been there for me. A person like me would only bring pain and sadness to people.”

Munhwa was shocked to hear what Subin actually thought of herself. Munhwa wanted to talk back, but she couldn’t control her emotions as tears strted running down her cheeks heavily. She never felt anything like that before; crying so much without even knowing why. She wiped her tears again and again, but the tears keep falling.

Nichkhun who had been listening behind the door cancelled his decision to come in. His fencing class ended early today so he thought he would go straight to see Subin, but he overheard the girls’ conversation as soon as he pushed the door open instead.

Even after all her sufferings, she would only blame herself for everything. 

Nichkhun leaned his back against the wall for support as he too lost control over his emotions. His biggest regret was introducing Taecyeon to her. 

If it wasn’t for Taecyeon, she wouldn’t have fallen sick. If she wasn’t longing for him every single day on the last days of her life, she wouldn’t have suffered half as much as she was back then. It wasn’t worth it. For a guy who easily abandoned the person who needed him the most, Nichkhun didn’t think Ok Taecyeon worth them all.






After Subin’s funeral, which wasn’t attended by Taecyeon by the way, Nichkhun didn’t go straight home. If he did, he would have to meet his mother’s fashion designer friend to get his measurement for his new suit for the upcoming annual grand dinner of his parents’ company. And then, he still had to attend his fencing class that night. So, Nichkhun went to Minsun’s home instead. Her grandmother’s home truthfully, but she had been staying with her grandmother since her parents lived oversea 3 years ago.

His visit was a surprise, but never unwelcomed. Seeing his drained face, Minsun understod right away that he needed time to get away from life and ‘recharge’.

“Minsun.”

“Yes?”

“I heard you are a loner at school.”

“I am.”

“Why?”

She thought for a while. “Honestly, I think living a life like ours would just hurt the people around me. All we ever do is chasing for better chances. When we found one, we would just walk out of the previous one any day, leaving people and abandoning relationships as we please… Even if we don’t want to. ” Minsun casually said, referring ‘we’ to her, Nichkhun, and their families. Knowing her parents, they wuld never let her choose her path, everything was set up from the beginning by them. If she risks hurting people, then she would rather not have anything to do with them.

“Think about it. If I didn’t meet Taecyeon oppa, he wouldn’t have to suffer like this don’t you think?  I simply walk in and out of people’s lives like it doesn’t matter to them. Just because he was nice to me, I forgot that I couldn’t handle commitment. That was just the same with my parents who always want the best for me that they abandoned the people who had always been there for me. A person like me would only bring pain and sadness to people.”

“…A person like me would only bring pain and sadness to people.”

“Hey, Minsun.”

“Hm?”

“Do you want to continue high school at our current private school?”

“I’m going to Miryung High, because it’s the closest to halmeoni’s house.”

“I see. Miryung High.”

And Nichkhun swore on his life from that day, he would never let the same thing happened twice, to a person so precious to him. He was going to protect Minsun with his own two bare hands.