Ji Hoo sat on the couch cradling Jan Di and tracing light circles into her arm, while Fluffy lay protectively at her feet. She had cried for nearly two hours. He'd held her snugly and whispered comforting words to her, things like: I love you; I'm here; everything will be alright… It was all he knew to say. Her crying had become less intense and more hushed as the night wore on and graduated from flowing streams to small trickles. But it was Ji Hoo's belief that she only stopped crying entirely after exhaustion overcame her and she literally ran out of tears. Ji Hoo had never seen Jan Di cry so hard, and he never wanted to experience it again. He felt helpless, and it made him ache all over.

Ji Hoo put a pillow behind Jan Di's head and covered her with a blanket. He went for his guitar. He sat beside her on the couch and began a familiar melody that had been soothing to her in the past. His fingers caressed the strings, as she stared out in a daze. Ji Hoo played the most tranquil melodies he knew; he played her favorites and the ones that held pleasant memories for them. Then, he began to sing for her as he played. And it wasn't long before Jan Di was out cold against his shoulder.

Ji Hoo gently set down his guitar and even more gently picked up Jan Di, for as precious as his guitar was to him, she was even more precious. He carried her to bed and laid her down. He covered her and kissed her forehead. Then, he shoved his hands into his pockets and left the bedroom. Ji Hoo went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. He sat down at the dining room table and took a sip, setting the glass down with a light slam. He leaned heavily against the table and buried his face in his hands.

Grandfather entered the dining room. He'd wanted to give them space but had been awake the entire time. Grandfather approached Ji Hoo and laid a hand on his shoulder. Ji Hoo flinched and looked up at Grandfather. The Yoon men shared an equally miserable expression.

"How's she doing?" Grandfather asked.

Ji Hoo exhaled, "She's OK. She's sleeping now…"

Grandfather nodded. He looked down and rubbed the back of his neck. "Are you OK, my boy?"

"Yes. Thank you for taking care of her, Grandfather."

Grandfather sat in the chair next to Ji Hoo. "Of course, she's my granddaughter. And I didn't do much. It happened at the hospital, and Dr. Jang actually brought her home."

"Oh," was all Ji Hoo said, rubbing his temple. His jealousy of Dr. Jang had been occasionally buzzing in his ear as of late, like an obnoxious mosquito. It bit him just now, but he instantly crushed it and moved on. He had far too much on his mind for such an insignificant little thing.

"I just sat with her; she didn't feel like talking much," Grandfather continued, "She just wanted to wait for you, but she refused to disturb you while you were working, so she made me wait to contact you until the end of your shift."

"That sounds like Jan Di, alright…," he said sadly. "But Grandfather, if something ever happens again, please do disturb me…"

"I know. I would, my boy. But there was nothing you could have done, and she knew that."

Ji Hoo nodded slowly. "Nothing you could have done," he absolutely hated the phrase…And he'd been hearing it far too often lately. It wasn't that he fancied himself Superman or anything, but he hated when things were out of his control.

"She said there was a lot of blood, so it was pretty clear that she miscarried, but you should probably take her to the OB/GYN tomorrow just to get her checked out."

Ji Hoo nodded, "I'll do that."

Ji Hoo made an appointment with the OB/GYN the next day, and they went together. The doctor confirmed the miscarriage and gave her apologies. She assured Jan Di that it wasn't her fault. She told them that there was nothing they could have done about it, that it was likely just a genetic abnormality with the pregnancy. The OB/GYN informed them that approximately 10 to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Jan Di understood all of this. She knew the statistics. She knew it happened to a lot of women, but it was so different going through it herself.

The OB/GYN reassured them that in most cases miscarriage is just a one-time occurrence and that the majority go on to have healthy births. She suggested that they keep trying once they felt ready. She said that they didn't have to wait, but to be on the safe side they could wait 2 or 3 menstrual periods. And she told them that they could have blood tests done if they continued to have problems.

Keep trying, Jan Di thought, as if it was like getting back on a bike after falling off, rather than the loss of their child.

Ji Hoo had assured Jan Di after the appointment that they could try again whenever she felt ready, but she'd only said that she didn't even want to think about it right now.

Ji Hoo had insisted that Jan Di take a few days off to rest. She'd fought him on it, but Dr. Jang had also insisted, and between the two men they were able to convince her. Ji Hoo had asked Director Hwang for a few days off for personal reasons, which Director Hwang had approved.

Ji Hoo had offered to take Jan Di away somewhere; he offered to take her anywhere in the world she wanted to go. She'd questioned him being able to just take off work like that. He'd told her that he didn't care. He'd work it out, and he'd do whatever she wanted and needed. She'd assured him that it was OK, that she was OK, and that she wanted to go back to work.

Getting Jan Di to slow down and rest for even a couple days was like trying to convince a quicksand victim not to struggle. She resisted, constantly needing to be moving, doing something. She even tried to clean the house. Ji Hoo gently put his foot down. He loved Jan Di's independence and fighting spirit more than anyone, and he wasn't one to play the "I'm your husband, and you need to listen to me" card, but this time he did.

Ji Hoo cooked for Jan Di, including whimsical and increasingly creative meals in bed. And he waited on her hand and foot, which she felt a bit funny about. Jan Di had never experienced that in her life. Even the times when she was sick she'd simply had to muddle through it because of school, work, or helping out around the house or with the business. Her family wasn't exactly the most responsible, so she was used to keeping busy all the time.

But Ji Hoo had always cared for her. She recalled him taking care of her when she passed out from exhaustion. She had woken in his bed, unsure of what was going on. The last thing she recalled was going to the restroom after cleaning the windows with him at the Suam Cultural Center, thanks to her parents… The job had been a godsend to their family, and she wasn't about to see them lose it.

Thinking back on it, she wondered if Ji Hoo had anything to do with her parents getting the job in the first place. He'd always helped her and her family out; he'd even paid off her family's debt before. She knew she could never truly repay Yoon Ji Hoo for all the kindness he'd bestowed on her and her family, and she could certainly never monetarily repay him. Even now, as his wife, she felt like a complete burden to him. Feeling useless and guilty, she attempted to stop Ji Hoo from tending to her. She even snapped at him once, saying that she wasn't sick or an invalid and that she didn't need for him to do all of this, but it still didn't deter him.

The miscarriage hadn't affected Jan Di's work ethic one bit. If anything, she was working even harder. She was throwing herself entirely into work and studying. She wasn't eating or sleeping as much, and this greatly troubled Ji Hoo. He'd only half-joked that he was going to start force-feeding her if she didn't eat more. She honestly wouldn't put it past him.

Jan Di was more bull than otter lately. She was belligerently charging through each day without listening to Ji Hoo or anyone else around her. Ji Hoo suspected that she was occupying herself so much to block out any thoughts of their loss.

The loss had devastated Ji Hoo, too, but he'd heard that it was much more personal to a woman. Ji Hoo was trying so hard to be understanding. Though she didn't talk about it, he assumed that Jan Di must be feeling like part of her was gone. And it was their child after all, despite never knowing it and the small amount of development it went through.

Jan Di hadn't been herself for nearly a month. She was a robot at work and a zombie at home. Ji Hoo was trying to be patient; he was trying to be sensitive, but it was really beginning to get to him. Despite his best efforts, Jan Di had gone into a shell. She hadn't felt much like being touched in the past month, and Ji Hoo didn't try to push her. He still tried to show her affection, but she barely reciprocated. Sometimes he'd kiss her and she'd remain perfectly still, as if she couldn't even feel his lips upon hers. It drove him mad, but he said nothing.

But it wasn't the fact that their love life had suffered that bothered Ji Hoo the most, but rather the fact that Jan Di was not Jan Di right now. He felt like she was slipping away. It reminded him entirely too much of himself back during those times of suffering and withdrawal from the world, and that terrified Ji Hoo and shook him to his very core. He refused to let her become like him.

Two more months went by, with little change. Ji Hoo and Jan Di passed each other in the hall at the hospital. They exchanged a brief, casual hi, how is your day going before they both had to take their leave. Ji Hoo gave Jan Di a quick peck on the cheek before leaving, but she didn't seem to notice and simply walked off engrossed in a chart. Si-Yeon smirked at the interaction from down the hall. No one at the hospital but Dr. Jang was aware of the miscarriage. Jan Di hadn't even told Mi-Nyu.

As Ji Hoo had predicted, the hype of their relationship had died down at the hospital. Apparently it was old news now. It was well-known that Jan Di and Ji Hoo were not averse to showing some affection at work, subtle touches to the arm or back, a of the hair, hand-holding upon returning from break, and even a hug or kiss in passing. But people no longer talked about that. Most recently, the busybodies of the hospital had begun to whisper instead about the lack of affection they witnessed. And there was gossip that the marriage was on the rocks.

Ji Hoo returned to his office after parting with Jan Di. He slumped down into his chair and put a hand to his head. How long is this going to last?

As he sat tortured and brooding in his office, there was a knock at the door. "Come in," he mumbled, his face buried in his hand. Ji Hoo heard the sound of a woman's heels against the floor. He glanced up to see Si-Yeon standing before his desk with crossed arms, the hint of a smirk on her face.

Ji Hoo exhaled sharply, "What do you want?" He had no energy left for her, or for politeness for that matter.

"My father is concerned about you," she said.

"Concerned? Have I not been completing my work as expected?"

"It's not that," she said, "He's concerned about your welfare. He feels you have been under a lot of stress lately. And he wonders if perhaps you need some time off."

"And he sent you to tell me this?" Ji Hoo rubbed his head lightly, as he leaned back in his chair.

"Well, I offered. Nothing better to do, you know…" She sat on the edge of his desk and crossed one leg over the other.

"Ahh," Ji Hoo mumbled, "Well, I don't need time off, but you can thank your father for me."

She nodded, "I was concerned, too, you know?"

"You were?" Ji Hoo stared at her in disbelief.

"Yes. You took personal time off, but you still seem worn down…and it can't be easy dealing with the way your wife is treating you…"

"What are you talking about?" Ji Hoo clenched his jaw.

"Come on, Dr. Yoon…she's practically ignoring you…"

Ji Hoo fought to control himself; he refused to let her get to him. "You don't know what you're talking about. And it's none of your business," he said calmly but directly.

Si-Yeon slid off the desk and walked around it, circling Ji Hoo like a shark circling a harp seal. "Oh, but it's just so unfair to you that she's ignoring you like this," Si-Yeon put both hands on his shoulders and leaned in closer. "You deserve better than that...," she breathed against his ear.

"Kindly take your hands off me," Ji Hoo urged.

Si-Yeon scoffed and removed her hands. She walked around to the front of the desk. She pressed her hands against the desk and leaned forward.

"What's wrong with your wife anyway, Dr. Yoon? Trouble in Paradise, so soon?"

Ji Hoo slammed his hand upon the desk and stood, his breathing ragged. "Don't speak another word about my wife," he demanded through clenched teeth, "You know nothing!" Ji Hoo fought to regain his composure, "…Now, get out of my office."

Si-Yeon and Ji Hoo exchanged a heated glare. "Fine," she turned and stormed out of his office.

Jan Di placed a central line on one of her patients. Dr. Jang stood in the room with her monitoring. Jan Di's behavior had not gone unnoticed by him either. Her work hadn't been slipping at all; if anything she was even more on top of her game at work. But he hadn't seen her laugh or smile in months. She was different, and he was very concerned.

Jan Di completed the procedure and tossed her gloves. She told her patient she'd be back to check on him, and she left the room. Dr. Jang followed.

"Jan Di," Dr. Jang began, practically jogging to keep up with her.

"Hm?" she mumbled.

"Are you OK?"

"I'm fine."

"Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" Dr. Jang asked.

Jan Di sighed, "No, Seonsaengnim, nothing."

Dr. Jang exhaled and searched for something to say. "You know, I think my son really likes you…I think he has a little crush on you actually… I didn't even think he was old enough to like girls yet," Dr. Jang gave a short, awkward laugh.

"He's a good kid," she said mechanically. Apparently his attempt at getting a reaction from her had failed.

Dr. Jang sighed, "Jan Di, why don't you…"

She didn't let him finish. She knew what would come from his mouth, and it was nothing she hadn't heard. Why don't you take a break? Why don't you take some time off? Why don't you talk to someone about how you're feeling? She was tired of people trying to take care of her. Ji Hoo, Ga Eul, F2, and her parents had all suggested she talk to a counselor about her grief, but she'd shot the idea down. It was just something she had to deal with on her own.

"Oh, I need to check on those lab results for Mr. Gu, Seonsaengnim," she interrupted. "Was there anything else you needed me to do?"

"No, that'll be all," he said, tightening his jaw.

Jan Di bowed and left. Dr. Jang released a heavy sigh.

Ji Hoo paced around his office, pondering what else he could do to help Jan Di through her despair. He missed seeing her smile; he missed hearing her laugh, and he desperately wanted his little otter back. The other night she'd been sitting next to him on the couch studying her medical text and haphazardly petting Fluffy. Fluffy had also been depressed lately. Suddenly, she just began staring out into space for the longest time, until he eventually broke her daze.

Ji Hoo had been conspiring with Yi Jeong, Ga Eul, and Woo Bin for ways to bring happiness to Jan Di. Their little family had been incredibly supportive, and he was thankful for that.

Ga Eul had recently suggested a Girls' Night Out, and the guys thought it was a great idea. Ji Hoo had established some ground rules, though. Those ground rules were, first of all, no clubs. The second was no fraternizing with men. Yi Jeong seconded that motion.

Ga Eul had laughed and reminded Ji Hoo that she and Jan Di were two happily committed women, so they had no desire to spend time with other men. This appeased F2.

Despite his stipulations, Ji Hoo trusted Ga Eul and felt that time with her best friend could be just the thing for Jan Di right now. Jan Di had been isolating herself so much lately that F3 and Ga Eul worried that she would try to refuse the Girls' Night. Woo Bin had suggested kidnapping her and forcing her to go out. Ji Hoo argued that Woo Bin's plan was too extreme, and Jan Di didn't need any unexpected surprises right now. So, he'd suggested simply telling her about it, and if she tried to refuse he would play the husband card again. He still had a few tricks up his sleeve when it came to convincing Jan Di.

As Ji Hoo continued devising his plan, there was a knock at his office door. What is it this time? He bid them to come in, and Dr. Jang stepped into his office.

"Oh, Dr. Jang. What can I do for you?"

"Well, ah," Dr. Jang folded his arms, "It's about Jan Di." Dr. Jang furrowed his brow and clenched his jaw.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Well, I'm concerned about her. She hasn't been herself since the miscarriage, and I wanted to talk to you about what we're going to do about it."

Ji Hoo's brow wrinkled. We? First he had to endure Si-Yeon's taunting, and now Dr. Jang was getting involved… Ji Hoo was sure that Dr. Jang meant well, but he'd reached his limit with the interference. "We, Dr. Jang? There is no we. I am her husband, and I will help her get through this," Ji Hoo said calmly.

Dr. Jang flinched visibly and further cranked his jaw. "It's not that I don't think you can handle it, Dr. Yoon."

Ji Hoo sighed, "I'm sorry to be so blunt, Dr. Jang, and I appreciate your concern. But this is something I need to take care of on my own. It's between Jan Di and me."

Dr. Jang nodded, unable to hide the malcontent on his face. "You're right. It's none of my business," and he turned and left Ji Hoo's office.

Ji Hoo hung his head. He couldn't help feeling a bit guilty, even though nothing he said was untrue. Perhaps he was being prideful. Perhaps he was even being a bit jealous. The fact of the matter was that he'd hoped to bring Jan Di out of this on his own…if he couldn't make her happy, what good was he as a husband? But it wasn't about him, it was about her. And at this point, he was willing to try anything, even if it came down to invoking the help of a well-meaning rival.

Dr. Jang left Ji Hoo's office feeling a rage swirl within his chest. He attempted to tame the beast inside by telling himself that he would have reacted the same way if another man interfered in his business with his wife. He just needed to be patient. Jan Di would get through this in time, and Dr. Yoon would help her. He strode down the hall in a daze, nearly colliding with his ex-wife.

"Gyeong!" She put her hand out as a blockade to prevent him from crashing into her.

"Oh, Mi-Kyung. What are you doing here?" he finally looked at her and noticed what she was wearing, a lab coat over her dress with a name badge neatly pinned to it. He looked at her curiously.

She beamed back at him. "Guess who the new staff psychiatrist is!"

"You're kidding…"

She shook her head. "No. You inspired me to finish medical school, but I didn't want to exactly do what you do, so I decided to go into psychiatry. I was just hired here. It's my first day."

Dr. Jang stared at her blankly.

"Well? Aren't you going to congratulate me?"

Dr. Jang rubbed the back of his neck. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," she said mechanically. "So, seems we'll be seeing each other around more often then. How do you feel about that?"

Dr. Jang laughed, "Just like a psychiatrist, asking me about my feelings. I suppose next thing you'll have me in your office giving me a Rorschach test and psychoanalyzing me…"

Mi-Kyung gave a false laugh and placed her small hands upon her tiny waist. "I don't need to do that. Five years of marriage and two years of dating prior to that gave me all the information I need. I could write a case study on you."

Dr. Jang gave a sarcastic laugh.

"Was there something on your mind just now? You seemed preoccupied," Mi-Kyung inquired.

"Preoccupied? No."

Mi-Kyung cocked her head, "You nearly knocked me over… Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, no. It's nothing. I was just in a hurry."

"Oh, I see," she studied him for a moment.

"Stop analyzing me!" He held up a finger at her.

"Fine. I have to get back, anyway," she said.

"Where is Shi-Woo?" he asked.

"He's in kindergarten, and I'll be picking him up after I get off."

Dr. Jang nodded. "Well, I need to go."

"OK, bye."

Dr. Jang and Mi-Kyung continued on in opposite directions.

Ji Hoo checked the board for his next surgery then headed back down the hall. He had some time, so he thought he would try to catch up with Jan Di.

"Dr. Yoon!" he heard a woman's voice behind him. He turned to see Ha-Joon's aunt approaching him, holding onto Ha-Joon's hand beside her. Ha-Joon had been discharged from the hospital after three weeks once he had healed physically. He still wasn't speaking at the time, but Dr. Jang felt that he was better off not risking infection in the hospital and going home with his aunt.

"Ms. Wang, Ha-Joon, how are you?" Ji Hoo smiled at Ms. Wang and looked down at Ha-Joon, who hesitantly looked up and made eye contact with him from underneath a thick tuft of bangs. This surprised Ji Hoo, but as quickly as the boy looked he dropped his eyes and stared blankly at the floor.

"We are doing OK," she said, "Ha-Joon is here for his appointment with the psychiatrist. Ha-Joon's pediatrician recommended that he see the hospital psychiatrist once per week, since he's not coping with his grief and has withdrawn from everyone…," Ms. Wang frowned, "Anyway, I saw you and thought we should say hi and thank you again for your hard work."

Ji Hoo pursed his lips and nodded. He didn't really feel thanks were in order.

"I'll walk down with you," Ji Hoo said, and he accompanied Ms. Wang and Ha-Joon to the psychiatry department on the 5th floor. They entered the waiting area, and Ms. Wang signed in Ha-Joon. Ha-Joon watched a boy do a puzzle at a small plastic table and a girl look through a book. He simply stood there and stared at them. Ji Hoo glanced to Ha-Joon.

The psychiatrist opened her office door and bid her last patient a nice day. The assistant behind the desk called Ha-Joon's name. Ha-Joon slowly turned, keeping his eyes down. Ms. Wang ushered Ha-Joon toward the psychiatrist.

"I'm his guardian, Wang Eun-Seo," she shook hands with the psychiatrist.

"I'm Dr. Baek, Baek Mi-Kyung, nice to meet you."

Ji Hoo stepped forward and held out his hand, "I'm Dr. Yoon Ji Hoo. I'm a surgeon here."

Dr. Baek shook hands with Ji Hoo. "Nice to meet you, Dr. Yoon," she looked at Ji Hoo curiously, "Is there…something I should know?"

"No, I am just familiar with this patient, so I was accompanying them."

Dr. Baek nodded. "Ha-Joon, would you come with me, please?" she asked sweetly. Ha-Joon glanced to Ji Hoo, and Ji Hoo nodded. Ha-Joon followed Dr. Baek into her office. After Dr. Baek took Ha-Joon into her office, Ji Hoo gently took Ms. Wang aside and out of earshot.

"How has he been doing?" Ji Hoo asked.

Ms. Wang sighed. She appeared much older than a woman in her 30s. "Not so good. He's still not talking. I have two other children of my own, but he doesn't play with them. He doesn't eat much either…I don't really know what to do."

Ji Hoo tightened his mouth. He recalled being the same way. He recalled the psychiatrists, the medications…he remembered it all. Some of it was helpful, but it was such a terrible ordeal for a child to go through. "Well, I think you're doing the right thing getting him help," was all Ji Hoo could think to say.

Ms. Wang nodded and then she started to cry, "But, I just don't know how long I can continue this…it's so expensive to take care of him and for him to see a psychiatrist every week now… You see, I'm a single mother, Dr. Yoon, and I have two children of my own to care for, too…"

"It's a financial matter, then?"

Ms. Wang hung her head and nodded, "Well, that's a big part of it, at least."

Ji Hoo pulled out one of his business cards. "Here. Just continue to get Ha-Joon the help that he needs and take care of him…if you ever need anything, give me a call."

Ms. Wang nodded; her eyes were still fresh with tears. "Thank you so much, Dr. Yoon!"

Jan Di found herself seeking refuge in Pediatrics as of late. She wasn't sure why, but somehow it put her at ease. And the more time she spent with the children there, the more she realized something about herself and what she wanted in life.

Jan Di sat on Ji-a's bed chatting with her, while she waited for Ji Hoo to get off work. Jan Di hadn't told Ji-a about the miscarriage naturally, but Ji-a was suspicious and kept asking Jan Di if something was wrong. Jan Di had put on so many fake smiles that evening that her face was a bit numb. Still, she had to admit that spending time with Ji-a was pleasant and relaxing.

"Doc, you look tired," Ji-a commented, noticing the hint of dark circles under Jan Di's eyes.

"I guess I am a bit, Ji-a."

"You need to get more rest," Ji-a chastised, placing her hands on her hips as she sat upright in her bed.

Jan Di gave her a small smile and ruffled her hair. "Don't worry, Ji-a. I will."

"OK, you better! Why isn't Dr. Yoon making sure you sleep, anyway, hmm? Do I need to have a talk with him?" Ji-a wore a hardened expression, as if she were ready to give Ji Hoo a thorough tongue lashing.

"Oh, he tries, Ji-a, but I just can't turn my mind off at night sometimes, and I wake up in the middle of the night a lot. Sometimes he wakes up when I do, but not always."

"I'm worried about you, Doc," Ji-a pouted.

"There's no need to be worried about me, really. Now, no more talk about this!"

Ji-a gave a faint smile.

"I'm going to read you a story now," Jan Di said. She picked up the book she'd chosen that lay on the bed and began to read. As she read she noticed the words begin to blur and felt herself blinking wildly. A yawn escaped . Jan Di only made it through a few pages before the lights went out.

Ji Hoo finished up in surgery, and he went to the stairwell to meet Jan Di as agreed upon. He looked around but didn't see her. Perhaps she'd gotten held up, so he waited for about 10 minutes. He paged her but no response. And then he called her, but there was no answer.

Ji Hoo left the stairwell and began roaming the halls, checking any place he thought she might be. As he passed the nurse's station he noticed Dr. Jang there. "Have you seen Jan Di?" Ji Hoo asked.

"No, she's been off for an hour. I assumed she went home with you."

"OK, thanks," Ji Hoo picked up his phone and called Jan Di again, as Dr. Jang looked on. Ji Hoo listened to the steady ringing. Pick up, Jan Di…

Suddenly he heard a child's voice on the other end. "Doc Yoon?"

"Ji-a?" Ji Hoo's brow wrinkled. "Yes, it's me, Doc."

"Is my wife there with you?"

"Yes, she fell asleep on my bed. I hope you don't mind that I answered her phone for her. I'm sorry I couldn't get to it the first time you called."

"No, thank you, Ji-a. I'll be right there."

Ji Hoo sighed. He hung up and headed toward Pediatrics.

Ji Hoo arrived in Pediatrics to see Jan Di fast asleep strewn over the foot of Ji-a's small bed. Jan Di, being small herself, fit just about right.

Ji Hoo sighed and gazed upon Jan Di tenderly for a moment before going to her side. "Thank you for watching over her, Ji-a," Ji Hoo smiled at the young girl. Ji-a nodded. "Sure thing, Doc."

Ji Hoo lightly nudged Jan Di. "Jan Di-yah, wake up…it's time to go home."

She mumbled something in her sleep but did not wake.

"She's been very tired, Doc…and she seemed…sad."

Ji Hoo glanced downward and tightened his mouth. "Yes, I know, Ji-a."

"What's wrong with her, Doc?"

"It's an adult problem, Ji-a," Ji Hoo replied delicately.

Ji-a pursed her lips. "I know about a lot more than you think."

"It's not something we want to burden you with, Ji-a."

"Come on, Doc…you can tell me."

Ji Hoo sighed and continued to nudge Jan Di, hoping she would wake and he could get out of the conversation.

Ji-a stared at Ji Hoo. "I may have to carry her out," he said, as he looked down at his unconscious Jan Di.

Ji Hoo glanced back to Ji-a, and she wore a small pout. "OK, Ji-a," he sat on the edge of the bed near Jan Di, "You see, something bad happened. Jan Di and I were going to have a baby, but…well…now we're not." He truly hoped he could avoid any further discussion or explanation of it.

Ji-a's lips parted, "Oh no, she had a miscarriage…"

"You know about those?"

"Yes. I told you, Doc. I know more than you think."

Ji Hoo smiled at her weakly.

"I'm so, so sorry, Doc…that makes me so sad for you both…" Ji-a had actually begun to tear up over their loss.

"Thank you, Ji-a," Ji Hoo replied wearily, putting a hand on her small arm. "But don't worry. She'll be OK. I'll take good care of her." He gave her his best reassuring smile.

"You promise?" Ji-a held out her pinkie finger.

Ji Hoo smiled and interlocked his pinkie with hers. "I promise." Ji-a gave him a big smile.

Ji Hoo wrapped his arm around Jan Di and helped her up. She was able to stand, but she was wobbly, so he supported her. "Good night, Ji-a," Ji Hoo said.

"Good night, Doc."

Ji Hoo held Jan Di close and guided her out of the room.

Jan Di had a couple of days off. At Ji Hoo's insistence she'd used part of her time off for some much needed rest. Ga Eul and Ji Hoo had mentioned a Girls' Night to her. Jan Di was hesitant, but she agreed after some light persuasion.

Ji Hoo had invited Yi Jeong and Woo Bin over for Guys' Night, while the girls went out for dinner and a movie.

That night, the girls prepared to go out at Jan Di and Ji Hoo's home, while the guys sat together and watched sports and talked. Ga Eul had once again insisted upon dolling Jan Di up, hoping it would make her feel good about herself. Jan Di didn't understand dressing up, considering they were only going out to dinner and the movies.

Ga Eul selected a cute black short-sleeved fit-and-flare dress for Jan Di that hung just above her knees. Jan Di recalled Ji Hoo buying the dress for her. It was pretty, but she'd never found an opportunity to wear it. Honestly, she wasn't aware of half of what was in her large walk-in closet, as most of it had been gifted by Ji Hoo. She only occasionally dressed up for a special event or when they went out to a nice restaurant or somewhere cultured, like the symphony or one of Yi Jeong's exhibits.

Ga Eul was wearing a similar style of dress in pink. Ga Eul had also done her own and Jan Di's makeup. After Ga Eul gave her approval, the girls went to bid goodbye to the guys.

Woo Bin started whistling when he saw them. Ga Eul and Jan Di looked down, blushing slightly. Ga Eul looked to Yi Jeong, who was grinning widely at her. Jan Di looked to Ji Hoo, and he too wore a huge smile.

Woo Bin whistled again, "Wow, you girls look great! If you two were single…" Woo Bin was cut off mid-sentence by a simultaneous warning glance from Yi Jeong and Ji Hoo.

"Whoa guys, I said if they were single...," he held up his hands.

Yi Jeong and Ji Hoo shook their heads.

"You look amazing, Ga Eul," Yi Jeong smiled at her, revealing his pearly whites. Ga Eul's cheeks burned even brighter at his intense gaze.

"You look absolutely beautiful, too, Jan Di-yah," Ji Hoo said, as he smiled lovingly at her. He suddenly wished he could kick everyone out and take her in his arms. Jan Di's lips curved upward ever so slightly. It was the biggest smile he'd seen in a while, which was encouraging yet sad.

Ji Hoo sighed and crossed his arms. He turned to Yi Jeong. "I don't know, maybe we should confer on this. Do you think they look too good to go out?"

Yi Jeong likewise crossed his arms and studied Ga Eul. She blushed harder when he slowly looked her up and down with lips tilted upward. Then, he glanced to Jan Di and then turned back to Ji Hoo. "Well, I agree with you. They do look too good. Woo Bin?"

"No way, man! No further comments out of me," Woo Bin gave a short laugh. "But maybe we should take the girls out dancing at the club instead," Woo Bin grinned at Yi Jeong and Ji Hoo.

"We can do that another night. Let them have their Girls' Night tonight," Yi Jeong said.

Ji Hoo nodded, "But I am still concerned that all the guys will be looking at them," Ji Hoo said with with tightly folded arms.

Yi Jeong nodded, "Yes, that is a problem… Exhibit A," Yi Jeong motioned to Woo Bin.

Woo Bin grinned, "Hey, I was just saying you guys have good taste…"

Ji Hoo smiled, and Yi Jeong gave a chuckle.

Ga Eul decided to put an end to the guys' torment of them. She put her hands upon her petite waist. "Yi Jeong Sunbae, Ji Hoo Sunbae, you don't have to worry. Jan Di is wearing her wedding ring, and I'm wearing my engagement ring. Not to mention we're only going to dinner and the movies," she decided to tease them back a little, "And how many guys could we pick up there?" she smirked.

Ji Hoo and Yi Jeong exchanged a shocked look. Yi Jeong smirked at the feistiness of his lovely fiancée. Then, F3 huddled up and whispered back and forth for a moment.

"Ok, we approve then," Yi Jeong said.

"But be back by 11!" Ji Hoo chimed in.

"What? Are you our fathers now?" Ga Eul teased, as she linked arms with a silent Jan Di.

"No, we're your fiancé," Yi Jeong looked at Ga Eul, "And husband," Ji Hoo added with a look to Jan Di. "And fiancés and husbands are even stricter than fathers," Yi Jeong grinned. The girls didn't really believe that, but they digressed.

Jan Di and Ga Eul assured their guys once more and waved goodbye. F3 went back to their male activities. They discussed going to the old F4 clubhouse to play pool for a while and perhaps calling and tormenting Joon Pyo.

Jan Di and Ga Eul were taken to dinner by Ji Hoo and Jan Di's driver. The guys had arranged dinner for them at a fabulous French restaurant in downtown Seoul. The place was amazing, and they were given the royal treatment upon arrival. Jan Di was suddenly thankful she'd dressed up.

Ga Eul kept the conversation light for a while before diving into the heart of the matter.

"How are you doing, Jan Di?" Ga Eul asked, as Jan Di took a bite of her Cœur de filet de bœuf grillé dans sauce Béarnaise. Jan Di was also thankful that Ji Hoo had recommended something for her to order and had taught her how to say it. He had been right about it; he knew her tastes well.

"I'm fine, Ga Eul," Jan Di graced Ga Eul with a smile that didn't fool her one bit. Although, Ga Eul was pleased to see that the food was so good that Jan Di was finally eating more.

"Really, how are you?" Ga Eul repeated.

Jan Di finished a bite, sighed, and stared down at her plate. "I'm…having a hard time, I guess."

Ga Eul looked at her sympathetically. "Jan Di, I know this must be so hard, but we're all here for you. Ji Hoo Sunbae, me, Yi Jeong Sunbae, Woo Bin Sunbae…we all love you so much, and we're worried about you. Please, let us help."

"I don't know if anyone can help, Ga Eul… I think it's just something I have to get through on my own."

Ga Eul nodded, "I get that, but don't be afraid to let the people who care about you in. Don't be afraid to rely on us."

Jan Di nodded and poked at the juicy beef with her fork.

Ga Eul watched her for a moment. "It really hurts all of us to see you so sad…especially Ji Hoo Sunbae. I think he's really in a lot of pain over it."

Jan Di's lips parted and she stared back at Ga Eul. She truly hadn't realized what she might be putting Ji Hoo through. She looked down dejectedly at her plate.

"I don't say that to make you feel bad, Jan Di. I just want you to know how much we all love you and want to help you through this."

Jan Di smiled faintly, "Thanks, Ga Eul. I'll be OK, really…," Jan Di paused, "Ga Eul?"

"Yes?"

"I realized something…"

"What?"

"Well, when I got pregnant it was unexpected, and I wasn't sure how to feel…I was really worried about how everything would work out… But when I lost the baby…I realized that I…really want to be a mom. The more I spend time with the kids at the hospital, the clearer it becomes how important it is to me."

Ga Eul nodded, "Did you tell Ji Hoo Sunbae that?"

"Not yet. I've been afraid to…try again…I don't want to go through it again, so I guess I pushed him away. I haven't been a very…loving wife lately, and that makes me feel guilty. He probably thinks I'm mad at him. He probably hates me right now," Jan Di hung her head.

"Jan Di," Ga Eul reached across the table and touched her friend's arm. "I'm sure he understands that you're going through something very difficult. Ji Hoo Sunbae loves you so much, unconditionally. He could never hate you. You should just talk to him about it, and I'm sure he'll understand."

Ga Eul smiled at Jan Di, and she returned a sincere one, the first sincere smile in months.

"Thanks, Ga Eul… How did you get so wise?" Jan Di grinned at her.

"Oh, I don't know. Just happened!" Ga Eul gave Jan Di a bubbly smile, and Jan Di smiled back.

The girls then moved on to lighter dinner conversation and shared a chocolate soufflé, also suggested by the guys.

After dinner, the girls went to the movies. There was initially a small argument over what to see. Ga Eul wanted to see a romance, but Jan Di wanted to see an action movie. Finally, they compromised by selecting a chick flick with a little bit of comedy and action in it. It was a Girls' Night Out after all. Jan Di and Ga Eul ate popcorn and enjoyed the movie. Ga Eul was relieved to see Jan Di laugh at a few parts.

Jan Di and Ga Eul returned to Jan Di and Ji Hoo's. The guys were hanging out watching TV and talking. F3 greeted the girls and asked them about their evening.

After a brief recap, Yi Jeong offered to take Ga Eul home. Ga Eul hugged Jan Di and bid her and Ji Hoo goodbye. F2 likewise said their goodbyes. Yi Jeong escorted Ga Eul out with his arm around her, and Woo Bin walked out with them.

"Did you have fun?" Ji Hoo asked Jan Di after the group left.

"Yes, thanks," she replied. He touched her arm. "You do look really beautiful tonight."

She smiled, "Thanks."

Ji Hoo gazed lovingly at Jan Di for a moment before brushing a strand of hair from her face. He put his arms around her and brought her in close. She closed her eyes and leaned in slightly but remained stiff.

Ji Hoo brought her back to arm's length and studied her face. He leaned in for a kiss. Jan Di could feel his lips upon hers, but her mind was suddenly ransacked by thoughts of pain and guilt, over the incident and over what Ga Eul had said. She'd been causing Ji Hoo pain…

Ji Hoo kept the kiss superficial but pulled back when he met with no response. He didn't know what else to do, and he was nearly at his wits end.

"Jan Di, why won't you kiss me back? I feel like I'm going crazy here!" He took her shoulders squarely in his hands. Then, to his surprise, he noticed tears forming in her eyes. On one hand, at least she was showing some emotion, but on the other, he hadn't wanted to make her cry.

"Oh Jan Di, please don't cry…I'm sorry! I won't let you slip away…I won't let you become like I was… You're stronger than that, and you can get through this! I'll help you; I'm here for you, always… Please, please, come back to me, Jan Di!"

Jan Di sniffed and bowed her head. He lifted her chin and wiped the tears away. He pulled her against him. "What can I do for you?" he whispered. "Just tell me what you need, and I'll do anything."

"Just hold me, please…" She'd allowed him to take her in his arms during the past 3 months, but this was the first time she'd actually asked to be held. Ji Hoo rubbed her back and then held her tightly.

The conversation with Ms. Wang about Ha-Joon had been on Ji Hoo's mind ever since. He couldn't help worrying about the boy and fearing that his aunt would be unable to support him. Ji Hoo made his way to the psychiatric department. Earlier that day, he had inquired about speaking with Dr. Baek, and they'd worked it into their schedules. Ji Hoo waited for Dr. Baek to finish with a patient. She bid her patient goodbye and motioned for Ji Hoo to come into her office.

Ji Hoo glanced around her office; he noticed a large red leather couch and two red leather office chairs, one in front of her desk and another behind it. Several black and white nature photographs hung on her wall, as well as inspirational poster. It took Ji Hoo back to many an hour spent in such an office playing with toys, drawing pictures and then being asked to talk about what he drew, and when he was older sitting on such a couch and being asked to talk about his feelings and experiences.

Dr. Baek watched Ji Hoo for a moment before encouraging him to sit in the chair in front of her desk. Ji Hoo shifted back to the present. "Thank you for taking the time to see me."

"No problem." She took a seat in the chair behind her desk. Ji Hoo glanced to a picture on her desk. "Is that your son?"

"Yes, that's Shi-Woo. He's 5. Do you have kids, Dr. Yoon?"

"No," Ji Hoo replied more sharply than he intended. Dr. Baek noticed his sudden change in demeanor. She looked at him curiously but decided it best to change topics. She clasped her hands and propped her elbows on her desk, resting her head upon her hands. "What can I do for you, Dr. Yoon?"

"Well, I'm sure you have things to do, as do I, so I'll keep this brief. It's about the boy I was with when I met you, Ha-Joon… I know you can't discuss his case with me unless the family signs a release form, but I'd like to…pay for his treatment."

Dr. Baek's lips parted, "Really?"

"Yes, and I'd like for it to be anonymous."

Dr. Baek nodded. "Well, if that's what you'd like to do, then I think it can be arranged. You've taken an interest in the boy, have you?"

"Yes, you could say that. Let's just say he reminds me of myself as a boy…and I want to see that he is taken care of."

Dr. Baek nodded, "That's very generous of you, Dr. Yoon. I too have invested interest in the boy, and I really hope that I can help him."

"I hope so, too." Dr. Baek smiled at Ji Hoo.

"Well, Dr. Yoon, I'm sorry to cut this short, but I have a patient coming soon."

"Yes, of course," Ji Hoo rose.

"If you just speak with my assistant out front she can arrange payment for you. And I'll simply tell the family that it was an anonymous donation."

"Thank you," Ji Hoo held his hand out to Dr. Baek and she shook it.

"No, thank you. We'll talk again," she said with a smile. He smiled back faintly. Then, Ji Hoo bowed to her and took his leave.

Three days later, Jan Di returned home from work. Ji Hoo had worked the early shift, and she'd worked the late shift. Jan Di entered the bedroom and sat on the bed with her hands in her lap. She could hear Ji Hoo's shower running.

She'd been thinking about him all day. She been thinking about all that he'd done to help her over the past 3 months. She'd been thinking about all the suffering she must have caused him. She'd been thinking about how grateful she truly was for him and how she didn't deserve such a wonderful, supportive husband. He'd always put her first. And never once had he failed her. And how did she repay him? By pushing him away… And why? Because she was afraid? Because she didn't want to be so vulnerable?

Ji Hoo pressed both hands against the wall of the shower so hard and for so long that the muscles in his back and arms began to quiver. Hot water cascaded down his body, as he pondering his next course of action. What else could he do?

Suddenly, he made up his mind. He would take time off. He would take Jan Di away, even if she protested. He would take her somewhere that would bring her relaxation and peace. Perhaps they would return to Bali, or Greece, or perhaps they would go back to Cheongsando Island or Gyeongju. Or, he'd take her somewhere completely new. He hadn't worked out the details yet, but he'd figure it out.

Ji Hoo wandered into the bedroom dressed in a towel. When he entered, Jan Di was there sitting on the bed. "Oh, Jan Di, you're home."

Jan Di looked at Ji Hoo for only a moment before rushing to him. She threw her arms around his waist in a crushing hug, as if she hadn't seen him in months instead of hours. "Mianhae, Ji Hoo-yah," she whispered against his chest.

He kissed the top of her head. "For what, my love?"

"For…the way I've been acting…for being so cold and distant. You didn't deserve that, and I'm sorry."

"It's OK, little otter," he breathed a sigh of relief.

She squeezed him tighter and closed her eyes. "I was just struggling so much, but I know that you were, too. I forgot about that, and I'm so sorry…you were there for me the whole time…and I wanted to thank you for that."

"You don't have to thank me. What are firefighters for?"

She smiled against him.

"And of course I will always be there for you…you're my wife, my otter, my Jan Di, and I love you…"

"Thank you…," she sniffled. Those two words didn't come close to expressing all that he meant to her and how deeply grateful she was. If only there was a stronger way to say it…

She pressed into him, clutching desperately at his . She could feel the tension, like an unwanted houseguest that had taken up residence over the past few months within the muscles of his back.

"Are you OK?" he asked, as he held her close. She nodded, squeezing him even tighter still, "I'm feeling…better…"

"I'm relieved…," he ran his hands up and down her back, "…I want you to know that whatever life throws at us, we'll deal with it, together," he whispered. She gazed up at him tenderly, and he rested his forehead against hers, "For better or worse, remember? I love you, and I am always here for you, no matter what… I will always be by your side, so please don't ever shut me out again."

And she smiled at him. Ji Hoo's words had always been Jan Di's parachute, and his hugs were more effective than the strongest painkiller on the market.

"I won't," she whispered against his chest, "Never again, I promise." It was a promise she fully intended to keep.

"Good," he her hair. "You have no idea how relieved I am to have you back!" Emotion took over and he sprinkled her face with kisses of relief.

She buried her face in his chest again; she felt she could remain there forever. She was only now realizing how much she'd missed their closeness over the past few months.

"I know that I haven't been very affectionate toward you lately. Can you forgive me? I want to make it up to you," she pulled back slightly and looked into his eyes.

"I would say that's not necessary, but I'm rather curious about what you have in mind," he smiled playfully.

She pursed her lips, "Mm, well for starters," she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down hard against her lips. Her hands wandered to his still damp hair, and she ran her fingers all through it. She moved her lips steadily and thoroughly over his, and he responded in kind.

Ji Hoo finally broke free, Jan Di having left him breathless for once. "I forgive you," he uttered fervently, once able to speak. She gave a short laugh, and he kissed her again. She smiled against his lips.

Jan Di broke the kiss and met his eyes. "I wanted to tell you that I realized something…I realized that it's really important to me that we have a child someday…I really want us to have a family."

Ji Hoo nodded, "Me too. We will…"

Jan Di took a deep breath, "And I think…I'm ready…to try..." She looked down, blushing like mad at what the statement meant.

Ji Hoo tilted her chin slightly and looked down into her eyes. "Are you sure?"

Jan Di nodded and cast her eyes downward once more. Without warning, Ji Hoo had swept her up into his arms and was carrying her toward the bed.

"Ji Hoo-yah, what are you doing? I didn't necessarily mean right now!" she laughed at his enthusiasm, as she clung to his neck. He smiled at her and kissed her forehead.

Later that night, Jan Di lay next to Ji Hoo, her arm draped across his chest. Ji Hoo lightly caressed her arm.

Ji Hoo suddenly grew pensive.

"Jan Di?"

"Hm?"

"There's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

Ji Hoo sighed, "Well, I did something a bit…impulsive…without talking to you first."

Jan Di leaned back on her elbow and looked over at him. "What was it?"

A/N: The next chapter won't be as sad. Sorry guys... Hope you enjoyed anyway!