Attention : if you read this fanfic, better you read till the end. So you know what am i trying to tell and maybe you can stop being hard.
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MINA POV
When i was fallin with sana in our first love, i was in heaven. Yet when she left, i threw myself into hell. it is so different when iam with nayeon. i feel likes iam in heaven and hell in same time, maybe iam growing up, it is why i have many mind and feeling complicated. I don’t really know why iam smiling and crying when nayeon in beside of me.

I’ll love you just one more day, only lies again..
When see you, i forget everything, smile and fall back in love..
I’ll try to just forget one day, words i know i can’t keep..
If i can’t see you, i hurt and i cry, and only make empty promises..
Going between heaven and hell with you on the line..

my heart is nervous when nayeon returned body. i can’t read the meaning of her eyes to me. she is standing in front of me in under the rain. I make some steps, to share the umbrella. There is no words, just look at me. its make me speechless.

I want take one step but her hands prohibit me. she close eyes for some seconds then her words come out coldly, “don’t come closer...”
Iam still trying to understand her, i took one step without obeyed her. 

“YAH !! i told you to not come closer” she scream to me. she tried to pushed me, again.

I don’t say anything, just take step by step then she is pleading, “pleaseeeeee~ mina. stop make me confused, stop me make shaking.... i beg to you, stop offer hand to me... stoooooop please~~ iam trying... trying so hard to stop looking at you. can you just leave me alone, pleasee??? Pleasee....”

I don’t try to impress her with my words because my heart says speak truely : 
“How many times we try to be strong? How many times we try to push everyone? not everyone like what you think, some of them will try to understand you no matter what. Like me, iam being invulnerable to stay with you. i don’t want make same mistake to letting go someone whom i love”

Still the words stopped in my throat, my mouth betrayed me. no words, just stare at her to show how precious her in my life.
Nayeon give me ‘hatred look’. Its hurt me but her heart is hurted more. Secretly my heart is crying as nayeon’s tears are falling slowly in her pretty face. i can’t bear it but i can’t found nice words to light the atmosphere.

“can you just give up on me, mina? pleasee~~ i don’t want hurt you, dahyun, sana and everyone in around me~~ pleaseee stop to understanding me. iam too cruel and ugly for you, pleaseee leave me....” stupid she is. She keep worry to everyone in her pain.

In between rain, i give her my umbrella. The rain helped me to blur my tears. i returned my body, i can’t endure anymore as i heard her pleading’s voice. My foot are hard to steps away from her but iam keep trying until i heard nayeon’s crying voice. She is covering with her left hands, and i know... i never can leave her. just this day, i love her. just today, let me hug her again. 

My body is returned. I run to her, hugging her without any permission. i don’t care if she need time alone, i won’t leave her in coldness. Iam sorry, i can’t promise anything, but my heart still is longing her.

Nayeon gave up on umbrella, her hand can’t hold it anymore. she hug me back tightly,she cry in my hug. maybe iam not the one for her, but everytime she hug me, i feel she lean on me fully and her trust to me never fade.

She tell me where its hurts, actually i can’t hear clearly as the rain, the street and her hiccup are mixed. Yet i still hug her, and at the her last story, i say, “no one can see you but i will be your darkness, so you will always shine brightly. No body can hear you, but i will be your dumb, so you can speak your painful memories. Nayeon, iam in here for you..”

I stop speaking, she can’t stop crying. i will wait her to realize how beautiful she is in every