Luhan is still in a daze. His mind is usually quick when it comes to academics but right now, it is too chaotic and can barely process what just happened, just like how his heart also eagerly wants to leap out of his chest. He could only blink when someone handed Sehun a cream colored scarf then wrapped it around his neck to protect him from cold and added another layer of thick winter jacket on his delicate frame. But honestly there is no need for that because the warmth of Sehun’s touch and lips still didn’t left his body.

What the hell, did he… did he just let Sehun kiss him in front of everyone? It is too late for his reaction because Sehun already kissed him on his forehead, whispering good luck then unceremoniously, Baekhyun pulled him towards the backstage. Wait, Sehun gave his jacket to him, even his snapback! It is too cold and he’ll froze if he will stay . He pulled his hands off Baekhyun’s tight grip but his bestfriend will never give him an easy way to escape.

“Wait—”

“You don’t have to worry my deer. Sehun knows how to fend himself from cold or you can give him a body heat later. He will like it even more.” Baekhyun said while wiggling his brows in suggestive manner. The little deer, still wobbling in his knees, doesn’t have time to deny whatever Baekhyun’s saying because his name already got called.

“No need for any make up because Sehun is enough to make your cheeks blush and lips swollen. Off you go, baby deer.”

Luhan gripped the pillar of the backstage while shaking his head. He can’t sing in front of the crowd after what transpired just a few minutes ago. He’s going to die from embarrassment. Might as well dug his own grave now. “I can’t Baek.” He whined.

“Oh, seems like someone’s flirting at your man, Lu “

Luhan, a clueless deer immediately stared at Sehun. Can’t quite understand why he suddenly felt a surge of anger on his system. He’s too busy with his internal conflict without knowing that Baekhyun only said that to catch him offguard. The petite man pushed the poor fawn towards the center stage leaving the latter on the spotlight. He is astonished not because of the overwhelming crowd but of the undecipherable feelings he feels at the moment. It felt as though he’s been doing this all his life and it is normal for him to be on the stage. The instrumental of the piece he intended to sing reverberated on the speaker.

Familiar ripples of excitement and elatedness crawled under his skin as he took a hold of the microphone. He’s supposed to be getting off the podium but his body won’t follow and he knew to himself that he’s been denying himself the urge to sing. If he will let himself get lost to this, this also means that he’s submitting once again in the throes of pain and agony. As much as possible, he doesn’t want to delve on the past memories not because he just simply wanted move on and go along with his life but because he doesn’t want his parents to get hurt. He still heard them sometimes visiting his room when they thought he’s already asleep, blaming themselves for what happened to him. He wanted to show them that it’s not their fault that until now he still can’t remember everything. So even how much he wanted to finally get a hold of those memories, he can’t. Even there is a hollow feeling in his chest, even how much it hurts him, he’ll be fine. As long as everyone will be alright, it doesn’t matter anymore.

Was the moonlight always this beautiful?

When the night grows deep, hidden sadness lifts its head.

Promises that couldn’t be kept float up like stars.

The wind that blows over the long night felt like your breath, it tortured me.

Everyone went silent when Luhan finally opened his mouth. The only thing that can be heard and reverberated is the fawn's melodious and angelic voice.

With the blowing breeze

The cherry blossoms falling on me resembled you.

How lonely this feels, it hurts more than a wound from a cut.

When I engraved you in my heart

Instinctively, Luhan’s eyes wandered, looking for no one in particular. Is it his mother and sister? They haven’t arrived yet but he knew they’re not the one his heart’s exactly been looking for. His gaze brushed on his friends and cousin. There’s a proud smile plastered on their lips. But something is gnawing on his heart, urging him to keep on looking.

I want to get rid of the memories

That were uncomfortable with you

The days spent with you were so clear and bright

The delicate organ on his chest fluttered and almost wanted to leap out when doe eyes finally met a deep set and dark irises. There, Luhan finally identified who he’s been looking for. Sehun stood tall and he is already wearing another jacket different from the one he’s wearing when he performed because he gave that one to Luhan. He has his hands hidden on his jacket and some of his dark as midnight locks hovering on his forehead. His hair is a little bit disheveled but that only intensify the ruggedness of Sehun’s features. But that’s not what bothers Luhan the most. It is the way he looks at him with something akin to nostalgia and longingness. Why is he looking at Luhan as though he hasn’t seen him for years? He suddenly wanted to descend from the podium and comfort Sehun as though it is the most natural thing to do.

When the moonlight started to fade

You were sadly fading as well.

A gentle breeze slaps his blossoming cheeks lightly followed by a tiny whiteflakes which surprisingly left warm and fuzzy feeling inside him. It’s finally snowing. There are some screams. Everyone is rejoicing on the first fall of snow.

If everything changes and I can see you again

I’d hold you and tell you this

That the 100 days of this dream

Were more beautiful than any other day

Luhan opened his palm, waiting for the snowflakes to fall gracefully on it. From the wonderful sight of white flakes on his palm, his eyes accidentally darted to a certain raven haired man who still had his eyes on him, watching him getting awed by the snow.

That I loved you

The doe whispered and could barely heard by anyone because of the noise but it was clearly received by Sehun.

Even if the mind forgets, the heart will always remember.

*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*

After the chaos that occurred earlier, Luhan sought the opportunity to escape while everyone are overwhelmed with the snow. He instantly descended on the platform then went out of the venue without waiting for the program to finish. It was a good thing that his mother and sister haven’t witnessed it. The embarrassment that was temporarily hidden were finally freed from its shackles and his friends teasing definitely doesn’t help.

He jumped on his feet when an arm suddenly encircled around his shoulders. His eyes met Jongin’s smiling ones. “Hey, Lu! You really have good voice. I almost teared up earlier!”

Blood started to rush on the apple of his cheeks at the compliment. He mumbled his thank you then buried his face on the scarf around his neck. He can’t believe that Jongin is already comfortable with him to the point that he’s talking to him as though they are friends for years. He should be elated because finally, the person he admired for almost four years noticed him. But why does it feels so mundane? Luhan didn’t have time to ponder on his question because another arm swoop around his waist and pulled him against another sturdy built.

“ off, Jongin.” Sehun said in his signature monotonous voice but there’s underlying venom on it. He sends Jongin a scathing glare, warning him not to cross the bounds again. The tan male retreated and could only raise his hands as a surrender.

The doe looks at Jongin worriedly. He mouthed I’m sorry to him yet the man only smiled at him. Jongin has suffered from foot injury. The reason why he haven’t joined the contest. Jongin’s really good in dancing. Honestly, it was that thing that gravitated Luhan towards him. He felt the arm around his waist tightening its grip in possessive manner. He subtly looks at the man holding him. His chiseled jaw is clenching so hard and he wonders what is running on his mind to make him look like that. Sehun suddenly looked at him with his dark irises which stupefied him. He instantly averted his gaze then tried to remove his hand but the raven haired is too persistent.

Luhan’s mind is on haywire once again. All he wanted is to go home, cage himself on the confines of his room, and plan how to bury himself alive. That is better option than to deal with the aftermath of his stupidity. He stared at Baekhyun and Jongdae, mentally asking for help but the two only giggled as a response. Kyungsoo on the other hand is busy tending Jongin. He puts Jongin’s arm around his shoulders as though the latter’s having a hard time walking. These two really gotten closer. He haven’t asked his cousin yet on what really is their score. The arm around him tightened and pulled him even closer. Even the air will be too shy to pass through. He stared at Sehun with his face that looks like he’s about to flip anyone who will cross him.

“Y-you shouldn’t have done that to Jongin.” Luhan suddenly squawked absentmindedly. His eyes widen when he realized what he just said. Oh, he really wants to sew his mouth shut especially when he saw Sehun’s expression darken even more.

“I-I mean, his foot hasn’t completely healed yet and…” The doe turns silent when Sehun halts his steps, dark orbs weighs heavily on his frame. Most of their friends continued to walk and he wanted to shout at them not to leave them. He closed his eyes and waited for whatever Sehun will do or say.

What he didn’t expect is the warmth on his left palm. He opened his eyes and saw Sehun diligently putting his gloves on his left hand. There is an obvious difference on the size because Sehun’s hand is larger than his. He looks at him in awe. He really thought he will get reprimanded. There is still darkness looming on his handsome features but surprisingly, Luhan is not afraid anymore. Sehun fixed the thick scarf around his neck, making sure that he is well covered. He removed some of the snow stuck on Luhan’s bubblegum pink hair then made him wear the hoodie.

“W-wait, this is yours.” Luhan’s about to remove the winter jacket that Sehun made him wear before his performance but the raven haired stopped him by kissing his forehead.

“Stop making me jealous, wife.”

Luhan could only blink at the frustration etched on Sehun’s face. It took about a minute for him to absorb what he just said.

“I know you are embarrassed that I kissed you. I was just jealous of anyone who got your attention.” He continued in his deep velvety voice. He caressed his cheeks lovingly. “You didn’t know how many people you managed to enchant everyday and I can’t stop being selfish when it comes to you. I want to cage you on my arms so no one could see you. I don’t want you to get suffocated but this is how I love. I want your smile exclusively mine. I want everything of you to be only mine. Please bear with me.”

The pink haired doe let himself basked with warmth of Sehun’s love as the latter showers his face with kisses. He doesn’t know why it feels as though he’s in the comforts of his room. The kind of feeling when he’s reading his favorite novel with a cup of tea on his bedside table or when it is raining and his mother is preparing him a cup of his favorite cocoa.

It feels like home.

“I know you missed our friend so much but the horror house isn’t going to wait for you two, Sehun!”

With cheeks almost turning into lava, the fawn pushed Sehun then exclaimed, “It’s not what you think!” The raven haired on the other hand cursed Jongdae for being the er of the century.

“Yeah, right! We are definitely not thinking that you and Sehun are going to make out.”

“You are just bitter because Minseok rejected you, Kim Jongdae.”

“Sshh, did you hear a barking sound? Did you brought a dog with you, Chanyeol? You did know that animals are not allowed here.” J