Regret (Neo)
Drabbles of VIXXLeo has never really thought that he'll be able to hurt N deeply enough that the leader would avoid him but he's proven wrong. He never really realised how it started but eventually, he realised how far away he has pushed N. And he regrets it.
All his life, there has never been anyone before N who was persistent enough to break his ice shell. N was the first yet he was ungrateful of him, he pushed him away and e even hurt him despite all his effort to make Leo a better person.
And really, truly, he regrets it.
"I don't want to be in the same car as Taekwoon. "
They were leaving for their schedule that morning and as sleepy as he currently is, Leo is pretty sure he didn't hear wrong. But why? Why would N say such thing?
"You can't avoid him forever, hyung. "Comes Hongbin's wise voice and Leo stays where he is, opting to eavesdrop on s conversation.
"I know. Just until my heart heals. "N sounds so upset that it makes Leo frowns and he's startled when Ravi suddenly appears behind him with a knowing look.
"You shouldn't eavesdrop on other people's conversation. "The rapper reprimands and Leo ducks his head, muttering a quiet apology.
"I'll be in the same car as you so wait for me. "Ravi says and Leo nods before a question escapes his mouth unconsciously.
"Why don't Hakyeon want to be with me? "
Ravi raises an eyebrow at that. "Wasnt it you who yelled at him for choosing to ride in the same car as you before? You told him that even the sight of him hurt your eyes and you told him to stay away from you. Don't you remember that? "He demands and Leo blinks
"I... said that? "He murmurs, finding it hard to believe that he said such hurtful words.
Ravi nods. "You said in front of all of us, hyung. "He reminds and Leo still couldn't believe it.
Was he really that mean to N?
They are eating in the small, cramped space of the waiting room and as he shoves some food in his own mouth, his eyes landed on N and Hyuk who are sitting in the far corner of the room, huddled close together, almost cuddling and the sigjt makes Leo confused since Hyuk rarely let any of them do that with him.
"Hakyeon-hyung is pretty down lately. "Ken's voice startles him and he looks at him only to realise that the other main vocalist is staring at the same direction he was staring at.
"Why? "He found himself asking, getting even more confused and somewhat bewildered when he sees Hyuk casually feeding N, who blankly let the maknae do as he wish. He wonders if N is sick or if Hyuk is just feeling extra affectionate that day.
Ken shrugs. "Who knows? "He says but in fact, he knows and he thinks Leo should know too. Because really, who wouldn't feel down after being yelled at by their own friend right in front of a crowd of people? He remembers how angry Leo was that day and how broken N looked. He remembered the passerby's shocked expression too. It still amazed him how N didn't cry right there and then but he knows N cried himself to sleep that night.
Making up his mind, Leo picks up his food and walks over to where N and Hyuk are sitting before sitting down opposite them. Both of them look up at him and while N immediately straightens up, Hyuk just stares right at him.
"Haky--"Leo didn't even get to call out his name when N stands up abruptly and rushes away, spilling a cup of water on the floor in the process but he didn't even glance back even once and Hyuk just silently clean it off. "Why... "
"You've gone too far this time, hyung. "Hyuk says without looking at him and Leo knows he's right .
He really did it this time. He hurt N. Badly. And he isn't sure if he can fix this situation.
"Hakyeon-hyung is strong. He'll get over it sooner or later. We're a team after all, right? "
Leo knows he isn't supposed to hear this but when he spots Hongbin and Ravi talking in the kitchen in the dead of the night, he just couldn't find it in him to walk away.
"Yes, he's strong. But it doesn't mean he's unbreakable. And this time, I think he didn't just break, he shattered. "Hongbin sounds angry and Ravi sighs.
"But he--"
"Even after all these years of knowing him, that was the first time I saw him that broken, Wonshik. It was like he has given up on everything and it scared me, a lot. "Hongbin says and again, Ravi sighs.
"Then what do you suggest we should do? I mean, you know him best, right? There must be something, anything that we can do to make him feel better. Even just a little bit? "Ravi is desperate for a solution but for Hongbin, there's no solution. Not this time.
"There's nothing we can do. "The visual states plainly. "And just in case he decides to leave, I'm very sorry but I--"
"You'll follow him. I know that. "
"... yeah. "Hongbin nods. "VIXX is important to me but Hakyeon-hyung is way more important. I won't leave him and I won't allow him to leave me either. I'll follow him, even to the end of the world. "He says confidently and Ravi didn't even get to respond to that when Leo suddenly barge in on them.
"I won't allow Hakyeon to leave! "He yells yet Hongbin is unfazed. He merely stands up to face the main vocalist.
"And who are you to say that? "
"I'm Hakyeon's'-"
"You're no one to him now, Taekwoon-hyung . You were so precious to him but you pushed him away. And broke him too. "
"Hakyeon, let's talk. "
Leo is desperate, N is becoming more and more distant these days. Not just to him but to everyone and he knows he should try to fix this because it's all his fault to begin with.
So that day, when he spots N finally arriving home, he trails after him and follows him into his room, locking the door shut behind him.
"T-Taekwoon. "N stutters, scrambling away from Leo to press himself against the wall, eyes wide as he stares at Leo in nothing but fear.
"Hakyeon, look. I'm sorry, okay? I know I hurt you and stuff but I'm sorry. "Leo tries to apologise but N shakes his head.
"N-no... "he murmurs but Leo ignore it.
"You really need to stop acting like this. You're making everyone worried,do you know that? "
"Get out... "N orders but Leo refuses to listen as he just advances towards him instead yet completely disregarding the way the leader starts to tremble.
"Hakyeon--"
And N screams. He screams so loud that in no time, the rest of their members come running towards his room, knocking and banging on the door when they realised that's its locked.
"Hyung, are you alright?! "
"Why are you screaming?! "
"Hyung, open up! "
When the screaming finally stop, N slid down into the floor, now crying yet his eyes never leave Leo's and that's when Leo knows, he really has f**cked up this time.
And he has completely lost his leader, his once friend.
A/N Neo is really sweet and precious these days but I'm in the mood for angst so here you go.. hehehe
Anyway, I'm in a good mood since I got accepted into the college that I want and I'll be starting next month.
So, in celebration, you can send in your prompt and I'll pick out a few to write up :)
Thank you and have a nice day!
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