Request by sillysayan4

Pairing: Xiumin/Chen
Tags: Angst, Major Character Death, Supernatural Elements

When Jongdae dies in a tragic accident, Minseok makes a deal with Death to take his place. He's given one final year to say his goodbyes. At first he is overjoyed to find Jongdae alive again, but soon realizes that he can't tell Jongdae about the deal, because Jongdae would never let him go through with it. He realizes that Jongdae will be just as devastated as he was when Death comes to collect him at the end of the year, so he tries to push Jongdae away, run away from him, and make him stop loving him. But Jongdae is not easily deterred.

 

Word count: 7566

 

 

 

 

 

Minseok remembers the day his world came crashing down upon him in vivid detail. Even before most of the city had woken from their slumbers they sky was dark as the rain poured down from the sky relentlessly, the sun nowhere to be seen. The nearly black sky heavy with dark rainclouds only seemed to bring around depressed thoughts and misfortune. Looking back on it Minseok couldn’t help but think that it had ironically fitted what was going to transpire on that day.

 

He had always hated the cold and the rain was no different. It made his bones ache, but that wasn’t the only reason as to why he hated it so much. Some of the harder events in his life had occurred on rainy days. When he was six years old his precious dog had been hit by a car, the heavy rain diminishing the drivers vision so bad that he hadn’t seen the little white ball of fluff run out into the road until the bump was heard. It was raining the first time his mother and father became physical during a disagreement and the both ended up in the hospital. It had rained the day his best friend had moved out of town. It rained the day his parents finally divorced, leaving him the decision to choose who he wanted to live with. It rained the day his father disowned him the same day he simultaneously got married and called his new wife’s son his own.

 

He didn’t like rain for the memories that came with it only gave him pain. It had been easier to get through when the ray of literal sunshine called Kim Jongdae walked into his life, shining light upon him on those dark days. Minseok had never thought that one person could have such an effect on his life but Jongdae had proved him wrong time and time again and he soon rose up to take the position of the most important person in his life. However the more important someone is to you, the harder it is when you lose them.

 

It rained the day Jongdae died.

 

It had been an accident, a tragic accident, something that no one could have foretold or prevented. Jongdae had been walking home from work when the rain had started to come down heavily. The younger had always been street smart, making sure to look both ways and making sure the coast was clear before crossing the road. No one knew whether or not he had failed to do so in an effort to get out of the down pour or he just hadn’t seen the car coming, but the rain was heavy enough that the drive hadn’t seen Jongdae’s figure until it was too late, his body impacting with the car and smashing the windscreen before landing on the road in a motionless heap.

 

Minseok hadn’t received the call from until an hour after the accident had occurred and everything had faded out around him when Jongdae, accident, surgery, ten percent survival were all uttered in the same sentence by a nameless voice over the phone. The phone had fallen out of his hands and before it hit the floor Minseok was already out of the door and racing to the hospital. The tears that filled up his eyes and ran down his pale cheeks blurred his vision making it hard to see the road ahead of him. He didn’t know how he made it to the hospital without causing an accident.

 

Inside the hospital he was frantic. Jongdae was still in surgery and no one would tell him anything. Too desperate for any kind of news he couldn’t sit still so he began to pace as his mind races with possibilities and scenarios that weren’t helping him clam down at all, the please be okays getting louder and louder as the time dragged on and there was still no news.

 

And when the news finally did come he wasn’t prepared for it. A doctor came up to him and Minseok, from the look on the man’s face, just knew, he knew.

 

“No…” Minseok breathed shakily.

 

“I’m sorry, but – “ Minseok didn’t hear what else the doctor had to say for his legs gave out and he collapsed to the ground. It’s then that he started to sob, the heartbreaking cries echoing in the halls, those cries turning into distraught screams. He didn’t see the sympathetic looks directed at his form, nor did he see people poke their heads around the corner in curiosity only to back away in sadness and respect as they realised what had likely happened.

 

But Minseok didn’t care. Jongdae was gone and there was nothing that he could do about it. He was gone and Minseok didn’t know what to do. What do you do when you lose the most important person in your life?

 

When he’s coherent enough he asked them what had happened he almost couldn’t believe what he had heard. The similarity to how he had lost his dog wasn’t lost on him and had him bursting into hysterical tears. Ironic, wasn’t it?

 

“Can I see him?” he asked the doctor in a wobbly voice. The doctor gave his a sad smile and nodded his head.

 

Minseok is lead to a room which is quiet and nearly bare apart from the bed which Jongdae lays upon, body completely lifeless. Minseok walks towards him mechanically, hand immediately reaching towards the Youngers face, his fingertips ghosting across his cheeks. He’s still and so, so cold and it’s not right, it’s not right at all. Jongdae had always been so full of life, always moving and always so warm, him being like this was just unnatural.

 

He’s politely asked to leave after being there for longer than he had thought. It’s time for funeral preparations.

 

That night Minseok cries and cries and cries until his body has no energy to cry and longer, falling into an exhausted slumber, dreams filled with the man that will never light up his life again.

 

The next morning he hadn’t wanted to wake up, yet he did and he felt empty. He couldn’t bring himself to check his phone as he knew there would be no “good morning” from Jongdae, something that the younger would send him every morning.

 

He missed him so much and didn’t know how he could go on without him. He wanted Jongdae back and if there was a way to do it he wasn’t going to hesitate.

 

A week after Jongdae’s passing Minseok found himself standing in the middle of nowhere where four small dirt tracks intersected, the crossroads, a boxing in one hand and a shovel in the other. The box contained a picture of Jongdae, graveyard dirt and the bone of a black cat, the last two items acquired from a gypsy shop.

 

Minseok had never considered himself as superstitious but his wounded heart couldn’t deal with the fact that Jongdae was gone and thus searched the internet for something, anything, that would somehow return Jongdae to him. That’s when he had stumbles upon something called the crossroads. It detailed a way to bring loved ones back to life by taking something from the summoner in return, something, that after more research about it, turned out to be the summoners life. A life for a life, equivalent exchange.

 

After gathering the materials stated, Minseok made his way towards one of the many detailed crossroads in the country. He didn’t know if this would work, if he should even hope but he had to try. Jongdae didn’t deserve to die and Minseok would gladly take his place if he could.

 

Walking towards the middle he carefully settled the box on the ground and dug a shallow hole. Picking up the box again his opens it, taking the picture of Jongdae between his fingers and caressing it.

 

“I’m going to make this right.” Minseok whispers before placing it back in the box and closing the lid.

 

Minseok lowers the boxing into the hole, and after taking a deep breath he begins to fill it in, patting the now loose dirt once it’s completely covered. He stands up to his full height and steps back. He doesn’t what to expect. He waits, but nothing happens, absolutely nothing.

 

“Stupid. I’m so ing stupid!” He yells, despair and hopelessness heavy in his voice. Then, in a burst of anger he picks up the shovel and hurls it, the object crashing heavily into the ground a fair distance away.

 

He was stupid for thinking something like this could even be real, so god damn stupid. He wanted ti sink to the ground and scream his lungs out.

 

“It’s been a while since I’ve been called upon.” Says a soothing voice from behind him.

 

Minseok whips around and freezes when he sees a man (boy?), dressed all in black, his wide eyes bearing straight into Minseok’s and despite his harmless appearance Minseok feels himself wanted to shake in fear. The aura around the man screamed danger.

 

“W-Who are you?” Minseok stuttered out and the man raised an eyebrow.

 

“Who am I? Now, why would you ask that?” the man tilts he head as he studies Minseok. “I’m Death of course, and you should know that Kim Minseok, after all, you’re the one that summoned me here in the first place.” He says, an air of amusement lacing his voice.

 

Minseok swallowed hard. It had worked, it had actually worked and now he had Death, Death standing in front of him, talking to him.

 

“I know why you called me here, it’s the only reason why I’m ever called upon these days.” He holds his hand up and there, in his pale fingers, is the picture of Jongdae he had placed in the box.

 

“That’s – “

 

“Yes, it is. Kim Jongdae, the boy that fell into my halls a week ago.” He says with little emotion. “You wish to have him back. You know what is required for me to return someone that has already left the mortal world, don’t you?”

 

“I-I do.” Minseok says. He wants to fall to the ground and quiver in fear as Death’s dark eyes study his own, searching for something that Minseok has no knowledge of.

 

“A life for a life, your life for his. Do you accept?”

 

“I do.” Minseok says without hesitation, surprising himself with how steady his voice was. Death smiles at him, not in a cruel way but not kindly either.

 

“You’re committed, I can see that. He must have meant a lot to you.” Death comments, glancing at the picture of Jongdae.

 

“He does.” Minseok whispers and Death doesn’t miss the use of present tense. “Can I ask you something?” Minseok asks.

 

“You may.” Death nods.

 

“Will you, will you let me say goodbye first?” he says timidly.

 

Death blinks at him but doesn’t say anything and Minseok starts to sweat. Maybe it was too much to ask. Getting Jongdae back was enough. He looks down at the ground and examines his shoes, the white material now stained with dirt. It’s almost like a testament to his life, how all of the good things had been stained with the bad.

 

“One year.” Minseok’s head snaps up. “I’ll give you one year to say your goodbyes to the one you hold so dear. One year before your life is mine. One year, no more, no less.” Death declared.

 

“T-Thankyou.” Minseok nearly cried. It was more than he could ever ask for. One year to spend with Jongdae before he would take his place.

 

“You better be thankful, I don’t do this for everyone who summons me.” He says and Minseok nods immediately. “Time to seal the deal then.” Death reaches behind him and pulls out a knife from nowhere and Minseok steps back. Death sees this and smirks. “Relax, I’m not going to stab you. All I need is a drop of your blood to set the contract. Hold out your hand.”

 

Minseok does so, but hesitantly, hand shaking. Death walks over to him and it takes every muscle in his body not to back away. Too fast for Minseok to see, Death pricks his index finger with the knife and if not for the slight pain and red on his finger he wouldn’t have even know that it had happened in the first place.

 

“This should do.” Death says to himself as he inspects the knife, the tip of it stained red with Minseok’s blood.

 

“That’s it?” Minseok almost couldn’t believe it. It was so… simple.

 

“What did you expect, an animal sacrifice?”

 

“Um…” Minseok trailed off.

 

“Hm, no matter.” Death waved it off. “Just remember; one year. Use it well.” He whispers into Minseok’s ear before disappearing just as suddenly as he had appeared.

 

Minseok spins around but Death is nowhere to be seen. Suddenly he begins to feel sleepy, the edges of his vision turning black. He doesn’t know if he hits the ground as his consciousness disappears before he even begins to fall.

 

He wakes up at the sound of his phone dinging. He groans, pressing his face into his pillow and cursing at being awoken from his sleep.

 

Reluctantly he turns he head to the side and squints his eyes when they’re assaulted by the light, the red 6:25 on the alarm clock blinking obnoxiously at his still sleep riddled brain. It’s then that he remembers what had woken him up in the first place. With no grace what so ever Minseok reaches for his phone, missing it the first few times before he finally manages to grab a hold of it. Bringing the screen to life he looks at the message with a more alert mind.

 

From: Jongdae

Good morning hyung!

 

Minseok smiles before it suddenly drops, the events of the past week crashing into him like a truck. His eyes widen in shock as he suddenly finds it hard to breathe, the shock momentarily forcing his body to forget how to breathe. Jongdae, dead, crossroads, Death, deal, DEAD.

 

Minseok drops his phone. He couldn’t believe it.

 

Minseok scrambled to reclaim his phone and with shaking fingers brings up Jongdae’s number. He hesitates for a moment before pressing the call button. As the dial tone rings in his ears he holds his breath. He needs to know if this was real and not just some elaborate and frankly cruel prank by someone who wanted to see him suffer. He doesn’t have to wait long before the dial tone cuts off and the voice that was so familiar comes from the other side of the line.

 

“Minseok hyung! Hey! Why are you calling so – “

 

“Jongdae! Y-You’re alive!” Minseok yells, relieved, cutting Jongdae off.

 

“Of course I’m alive hyung, why wouldn’t I be?” Jongdae sounded confused because why wouldn’t he be alive?

 

“N-No reason.” Minseok swallowed, trying to hold back the tears. Had it all been a dream? Had it all just not happened at all?

 

“Okay… Well anyway I wasn’t expecting your call, you don’t usually call me in the morning. Are you alright?” he was concerned and Minseok didn’t miss it.

 

“Everything’s fine.” Minseok tried to reassure him. Jongdae was always a person that cared for those close to him. Caring wasn’t a bad trait to have but sometimes he cared too much. “You don’t need to worry about me, I’m fine, really!”

 

“If you say so.” He didn’t sound completely convinced but let it go anyway. “Hey, um, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

 

“Yeah, bye Dae.”

 

“Bye hyung.”

 

Jongdae hangs up and Minseok lets his phone fall into his lap. He didn’t know what to think. Had everything that had happened just been a dream? Either way, at this point he couldn’t really care. He had Jongdae and that’s all that mattered.

 

Finally getting out of bed he jumps straight into the shower to rid himself of the residual tiredness that remained. Now fresh faced he chucks on some clothes and goes to prepare a light breakfast. He chews on a piece of toast while he waits for the kettle to boil. Coffee now made, he goes to take a sip only to stop dead in his tracks. There, written in the foam of his coffee is two words.

 

One year

 

Minseok doesn’t know he had lost his grip on the cup until the sound of glass breaking reaches his ears and the burn of the boiling hot coffee seeping through his pants and onto his skin. It feels like the blood on his body had frozen, a chill settling into his bones. It had all been real… everything. It all comes crashing down on him at once and he sinks to the ground, back leaned against the cupboards.

 

He has a year, one year to spend with Jongdae and he’s going to make the absolute most of it.

 

 

~X~

 

 

He had plans of what he wanted to do but unfortunately life must go on. Both of them had jobs they needed to go to, errands they needed to run and just lives they needed to live. It was actually causing Minseok anxiety. He only had a limited amount of time to spend with Jongdae and the deadline was closing in. One year seemed like a long time, but in the situation that this was, one year wasn’t even enough. There was so much he wanted to do, so much he needed to do before his time ran out.

 

It was constantly on his mind and it was making it hard to focus on his work life. Architecture required complete and utter focus and not a measurement could be out of place by even a millimetre for it could lead to disaster to the stability of the finished product. The last thing he wanted was for something he was in charge of designing coming down on someone because his design had been off.

 

Ever spare moment he had he spent it with Jongdae. When he would get off work he would immediately head over to the café where Jongdae worked and would wait for him to take him home. Jongdae didn’t have a car and Minseok wanted to make sure he got home safe and there was also the voice in the back of his mind telling him not to let that happen again. Jongdae would always smile when he spotted Minseok walk into the café and Minseok couldn’t help but smile back. Jongdae would always manage to sneak him a little treat and he would press a finger to his lips and wink at him, Minseok copying the gesture and put a finger to his lips as well.

 

Sometimes Minseok would read a book and other times he would pull out his laptop and try to get ahead of his deadlines bit mostly he found himself watching Jongdae. If he were being honest it was probably a little but creepy but he wanted to absorb every little thing about Jongdae, even the everyday, insignificant things.

 

“You know you don’t have to do this for me every day, right?” came Jongdae’s voice startling Minseok out of his thoughts. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t appreciate this because I do but I can get home on my own. You don’t been to wait for me.”

 

“I don’t have to but I want to.” He smiled at Jongdae and he swears that he sees the youngers cheeks go a little pink.

 

“Well thankyou then.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

Suddenly the sound of something smashing makes them both jump and Jongdae sighs knowing immediately who had caused it.

 

“You better go and deal with that, I’m not going anywhere.” at least not yet, he grimaces as he watches Jongdae walk away.

 

By the time Jongdae’s shift ends the sky is already darkening and Minseok watches the sun disappear behind the horizon but he still makes no move to get up, at least not until Jongdae had finished the daily stocktake, it is then that he walks over to the younger.

 

“Ready to go?”

 

“Yep, all done.” Jongdae gives him a satisfied smile and they walk out of the café, Jongdae taking out his keys to lock up the shop before they both walk the short route to the parking garage where Minseok had left his car.

 

Neither talk much on the way there though it’s not uncomfortable but even so the sound of the radio fills that silence and Minseok, out of the corner of his eye sees Jongdae mouthing along to the words of some pop song that Minseok vaguely recalls hearing once before.

 

By the time they finally reach Jongdae’s apartment it’s pitch black outside and the streets are nearly completely void of life.

 

“Hey uh, it’s late. Do you want to stay over tonight?” Jongdae asks him when they arrive and at Minseok’s look he continues more hesitantly. “You don’t have to, especially if you have work to do but it’s been a while and I thought it would be nice to you know, hang out?”

 

“I-I would like that.” Minseok says honestly, a soft smile on his face, one that grows larger when he sees Jongdae’s face light up and he knows he’s made the right decision.

 

It’s then as they step into Jongdae’s apartment that Minseok realises that it’s been a long while since he’s been inside the younger mans home. It’s also the first time that he’s felt a sense of nervousness being there. It’s strange.

 

“It looks the same.” Minseok observes and Jongdae turns around to smile at him.

 

“I haven’t felt the need to change anything.” He answers Minseok despite him not asking a question.

 

Minseok is left to his own devices while Jongdae showers and lately being left to his own devices is a terrible thing. The only thing he can think of is the deal and how in eight months he’ll no longer be here. Still, he can’t find himself regretting his decision.

 

Minseok just sits there on the couch, the sound of the shower being the only sound in the apartment a part from his own breathing. After a while Jongdae’s soft, melodic voice, albeit muffled, can be heard and Minseok closes his eyes to engrain it into his brain. Jongdae has always had a great voice and Minseok is sad that he doesn’t here enough of it.

 

When Jongdae remerges freshly showered he hands Minseok a set of clothes from him to change into which Minseok takes with a nod of thanks. It doesn’t take long for Minseok to wash himself and get dressed. The clothes fit him nicely seeing as both of them are the same height however they are a little tight, his frame being larger than the owner of the clothes. Coming out of the bathroom he sees Jongdae sitting on the couch, the television now switched on and a steaming cup of what he presumes to be hot chocolate in his hand.

 

When Jongdae’s hears his approach he turns towards him and holds out a cup which Minseok takes, sitting beside Jongdae before taking a little sip and humming.

 

“Seeing as it’s late I thought that hot chocolate would be a good alternative to coffee.” Jongdae says and Minseok nods he head in agreeance.

 

They don’t talk much, their attention being directed towards the television where some popular drama is playing however Minseok keeps flicking he gaze towards the younger man. He can’t help but look and what he did see was more than nice. Jongdae seemed to sense that someone was looking at him for he turned he head causing Minseok to quickly turn his head back towards the screen not wanting to be caught staring. Jongdae looks at him curiously before he to, turns back towards the drama.

 

He doesn’t know how much time goes by before he feels a weight settle onto his shoulder. It was so sudden that he nearly jumped right out of the seat before he stopped himself and lucky he did as there was Jongdae whose head had slumped to the side, asleep.

 

Minseok sat there completely frozen and body rigid, not knowing what to do. It wasn’t the first time this had ever happened to either of them, not the first time they had fallen asleep on each other but this time it felt different and he knew why. It was something he had always felt yet had never acted upon and he wasn’t going to start now. Still, there was a part of him that wanted to but knew would only end in tragedy and it was then that he made his decision.

 

But focusing on the now, he carefully gathered Jongdae into his arms and gracefully carried him to his bedroom. Gently he placed him on the bed and tucked the covers around his body. His job was done and he should probably leave the younger alone to sleep but he couldn’t help but admire his sleeping form; the way his eyelashes kissed his cheekbones and slightly parted mouth had small puffs of breath escaping. Before he even knew it his hand was pressing against Jongdae’s forehead and pulling his hair out of his face. Hesitating he leans down and presses his lips to the back of his hand before pulling away entirely. With one last look at the sleeping man he walks out of the room to put himself to bed on the couch, not realising that the youngers lips had pulled up in a smile.

 

 

~X~

 

 

Minseok realised he had made a mistake. A huge mistake and there was only one way he could think of to make it right.

 

One month.

 

He gave himself one month, one more month to spend time with Jongdae before he distanced himself. He knew Jongdae would feel hurt and betrayed but in the long run it would all be for the better, at least that’s what he told himself over and over again.

 

He did everything and anything that he could think of. They went to the amusement park where they laughed and had the time of their lives acting like children, buying the micky mouse headbands from the gift shop and indulging on sugar. They went to the bar and got stupidly drunk like they used to when they were poor college students again, moving their intoxicated bodies to the beat of the music before stumbling out of the bar and ending up and a karaoke place drunkenly signing pop songs at the top of their lungs and holding onto each other for balance. Other times that would just hang out at each other’s apartments and order greasy take out and critique b-rated movies.

 

It was one of the best months of Minseok’s short life and he couldn’t have asked for anything better however it only made it all the more harder to do what he had promised himself was for the best.

 

“What’s gotten into you lately Minseok? Not that I’m complaining, it’s just a little bit…” Jongdae had asked him one time.

 

“Nothing. I just want to spend time with you.” He answered with a smile, one that was strained but Jongdae hadn’t seemed to realise it.

 

It pained Minseok to know that what he was about to do was going to confuse and hurt him but it had to be done. He only had seven months to go before he took the place he had taken for Jongdae.

 

 

~X~

 

 

It started with Minseok ignoring Jongdae’s calls.

 

Jongdae didn’t understand. Never before had Minseok ever ignored a call from him and if he did he would ring or text back immediately. Now all he got was silence of a short text saying busy, sometimes there would be a sorry and other times there wouldn’t be. He didn’t understand.

 

They had always been close and had always told each other everything so what could have happened to have Minseok treat him like this? Or was it something he did? He had no idea but something must have happened for this to happen. Just weeks ago they had been having the time of their lives and now it almost seemed like Minseok wasn’t there anymore.

 

Soon confusion turned into annoyance, annoyance turned into hurt and hurt turned into anger. What in god’s name was going on?

 

As the weeks went on even the text messages stopped. Jongdae didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to feel. He just, he didn’t understand.

 

When the messages stopped coming the only thig Jongdae was left to do was to go to the elder’s apartment but even that gave him zero results. More matter how hard he banged on the door or how hard he yelled the door wouldn’t open. He even staked out the apartment and saw no lights on of a night time with no one coming or going. It was almost like Minseok had just disappeared. The only way he knew Minseok was still living there was the fact that his neighbour had seen the man exit and re-enter the apartment every now and again.

 

It pissed him off. Did years of friendship mean nothing to him? If something had happened why wouldn’t he tell him? The only other place he could think of to get answers was the mans workplace. However is had only left him with more questions than answers.

 

“What do you mean he doesn’t work here anymore? Did he get fired?!” Jongdae said loudly in shock.

 

“No, he wasn’t fired. He quit.” One of Minseok’s co-workers told him.

 

“He quit?”

 

“Yeah, about a month ago.”

 

Jongdae walked away in a daze. Minseok had quit his job? That made even less sense to him. Minseok had been so excited to get that job, why would he do that to something he had loved and worked so hard to achieve?

 

He didn’t know why but white anger just went straight through him. Who did Minseok think he was? Who was he to treat him like this? Minseok meant the world to him and he thought that Minseok felt the same, had he been wrong?

 

Before he even knew it he felt white anger course through his body and he marched his way towards Minseok’s apartment, completely seething.

 

“Kim Minseok you open this door right ing now!” he yelled, pounding on the door so hard that he could feel his hand hurt but he couldn’t find himself caring in this moment. He wanted answers and he wanted answers now and to maybe punch him in his stupid attractive face but not before he cursed him the out.

 

He screamed himself hoarse and his hits started to become weaker and weaker as the energy drained out of his body. He had to have been doing this for at least a half an hour and he’s surprised that no one had called the cops yet. Soon his bangs turned into nothing more than light taps. Exhausted he rested his forehead against the door before sliding down it. Taking a glance at his hand he winced at the bruises that were already beginning to show. Leaning his head back he closed his eyes, hopelessness beginning to settle in.

 

He just didn’t know what to do.

 

 

~X~

 

 

The last thing Minseok had expected when he arrived home was to find Jongdae leaned up against his door, asleep. His eyes drifted from the mans face down to his hand and it felt like someone had stabbed him on the heart when he saw how bruised it was.

 

Crouching down he gently shook the younger mans shoulder. Jongdae groaned and moves his head, his eyebrows furrowing as his eyes blinked open. He looked around confused before they landed on Minseok and they widen in surprise before it was replaced by anger.

 

“Minseok wh-” He growled getting up to his feet only to be cut off by Minseok holding up his hand.

 

“Let’s just get inside first.” He said weakly. Jongdae pursed his lips but stood aside so Minseok could unlock the door. As soon as they door closed Jongdae started his assault.

 

“Minseok what the ?!” he yelled at the elder who just stood there will a look of sad acceptance on his face. “You stopped answering my calls and texts, you would open the door when I knew you home and if that’s not bad enough you quit your job! What on earth are you doing Minseok?!”

 

Jongdae was practically screaming at this point, angry tears beginning to stream down his face and Minseok found it hard to even look at him. He had no one else to blame but himself and he could never be forgiven for the obvious pain he had put Jongdae through despite how even now he keeps telling himself it was for the greater good.

 

At Minseok’s silence Jongdae only seems to get more fired up.

 

“It’s been months since I’ve seen you or even spoken to you and you have nothing to say to me? What happened to years of friendship only for you to drop off the face of the earth and act like it had been nothing?!” Jongdae sounded defeated and deeply, deeply betrayed.

 

“I-I…”

 

“Did something happen? If something happened you can just tell me.”

 

Minseok swallowed hard. “Jongdae I can’t.”

 

“Please Minseok, please just tell me.” He pleaded. “Did I do something wrong?”

 

“What, no! You didn’t do anything wrong!”

 

“Then what Minseok?” Jongdae questioned, “I thought that I meant more to you than that. Maybe I was wrong.”

 

“You do Jongdae, you do.” Minseok insisted, sounding desperate for Jongdae to believe him.

 

“Then why won’t you tell me?!”

 

All Minseok could do was shake his head. Inside he was a complete and utter mess. Jongdae seemed to be able to sense the conflict going on inside of him but he didn’t care. The younger just wanted answers to why his so called best friend had shut him out of his life.

 

“Jongdae please, I can’t.” he continued to push on.

 

“Why? Why can’t you?!”

 

All Misneok could hear at this point was white noise the sound of Jongdae yelling now faded out in the distance. He can see the youngers lips moving, the way his lip curls are pulled straight and move angrily, his eyes glaring at him and his hands gesturing wildly. He couldn’t take it anymore.

 

“You died!” he screamed and Jongdae stopped dead in his tracks.

 

“What…?” Jongdae said in disbelief and shock. He had never heard Minseok raise his voice like that before.

 

“You died Jongdae. On the 6^th of July last year you died.”

 

“What on earth are you talking about?” he looks at Minseok incredulously. “How could I die? I’m right here! Explain that to me.”

 

Minseok took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I made a deal…”

 

“A deal? What kind of deal.” Jongdae looked at him in a way where he wasn’t quite sure whether or not he was telling the truth though he looked like he was more on the side of believing him. Minseok had, after all, never lied to him about something like this.

 

“I made a deal with Death to bring you back but in exchange I had to give mine in return.” Minseok told him with his head down. “I was given a year to say goodbye but I knew it would hurt you so I thought that I pushed you away, if I made you hate me, it would hurt less.” He finished.

 

He risked a look up to Jongdae and what he saw broke his heart. He looked so shattered, so broken and he hated it and he had no one to blame but himself.

 

“Why would you do that Minseok?!” he said wetly.

 

“Because I love you!” Minseok yelled.

 

“Who are you to decide that my life is worth more than yours? Did you even think about how I would feel when you’re gone?! You can’t- you can’t do something like that Minseok!” Jongdae screamed.

 

“I did it for you!”

 

“No, you did it for yourself! You’re so- you’re so selfish Minseok!” Jongdae pounced towards Minseok and began to pound his chest with his fists as he yelled obscenities at the elder man.

 

Minseok did nothing but stand there and take it. He deserved it, all of it. Jongdae’s hits became weaker and weaker and soon his legs gave out on him and he collapsed to the floor, his yells of anger turning into sobs. Minseok kneeled and took the younger into his arms and despite him trying to fight him off at first he soon melted into the hug and cried into Minseok’s shoulder. Minseok rubbed his back and rocked then from side to side like a mother could do to their crying babe. When Jongdae’s cries stop he thinks the younger had fallen to sleep only to be proved wrong when he speaks.

 

“Two weeks.” Jongdae whispers and Minseok is left confused before Jongdae continues and realisation dawns upon him. “Two weeks until July 6^th.” His says, voice cracking.

 

Minseok swallows hard and tightens his hold on the younger, burying his face in his neck. Jongdae was right. He only had two weeks until his time was up.

 

“Yeah.” Minseok said wetly trying to hold back his own tears because he didn’t deserve to cry.

 

“I hate you.” Jongdae said with zero heat to his words. He just sounded tired.

 

Minseok tried to pull away but Jongdae only whimpered and held onto him tighter. Minseok lifted Jongdae’s head up and pressed their foreheads together and they were forced to stare at each other in the eyes which caused more tears to silently leak down Jongdae’s cheeks.

 

“I love you too.” He said quietly, leaning in to place his lips into Jongdae’s softly before pulling away.

 

Somehow they make it to the couch where they ley together, Jongdae’s head resting on Minseok’s chest. There’s now celebrations or professions of their undying love for each other. Yes, they had both expressed their love for each other, albeit in highly unconventional ways but this wasn’t a happy occasion filled with smiles and giggles. No, it was instead filed with emptiness and helplessness.

 

“What do we do now?” Jongdae asked absentmindedly expecting no now answer and Minseok not providing one. He didn’t know it and was sure that there was no right answer.

 

Nothing could stop what they both knew was going to happen.

 

Soon Minseok would be gone and Jongdae would be left with a piece of his heart missing, never to be found again.

 

 

~X~

 

 

The days following could be summed up in one word: sombre.

 

They spent it with each other, holed up in Minseok’s apartment. They each tried to lift the mood up after all attempts had failed they stopped trying. Nothing could change or get them to forget what was getting closer and closer.

 

Jongdae was glued to Minseok’s side twenty four seven, keeping some part of his body in contact with the other at all times. They held hands, snuggled and even kissed however neither of them suggested going any further and Jongdae didn’t think he could do it anyway, knowing that he would cry through the entire thing.

 

Two days before the impending date they pulled out the photo albums Minseok had made and they laughed and cried as they reminisced on their lives and for the first time since everything had been revealed they felt some semblance of happiness. However that would all disappear the next day.

 

The day before everything would come to a stop they laid together in Minseok’s bed cuddled up together. They barely spoke, instead wanting to just be in each other’s presence and listen to their breaths and heartbeats mingling into one piece of music.

 

“Tomorrow I want to wake up only to find that all of this had been just a dream.” Jongdae’s voice seems loud in the silent room.

 

Minseok didn’t say anything and he couldn’t for what could he possibly say to make this right? He had made his choice, one that couldn’t be taken back and the person he cared about most would be hurt.

 

Minseok doesn’t want to fall asleep but he can feel his eyelids getting heavy and before he knows it he’s asleep.

 

When he wakes he can’t help but feel like he’s being watched. Opening his eyes he sees someone he had never wanted to see again. There, sitting on the chair in the corner of the room with his arms crossed and his right leg swung over his left, was Death. Dread settled in the pit of his stomach.

 

“Long time no see Kim Minseok.” He drawled and Minseok jolted into a sitting position causing Jongdae to awaken.

 

“Wha…?” he mumbles, confusion painted on his face before it turns to alertness when he notices the other person in the room.

 

“Oh, hello Kim Jongdae. It’s nice to meet you, officially and in the land of the living this time.” he greets Jongdae who turns as white as the bedsheets they’re lying on. “I take it you know who I am and why I’m here.” He says knowing full well that Jongdae knows.

 

Minseok can feel Jongdae begin to shake, his whole body trembling and all his can do is rest his hand on the youngers hip as a form of comfort.

 

“I hope you made the most of the time I gave you.” Death directs his attention towards Minseok who feels like the world is looking at him.

 

“Please don’t! Please don’t take him, I beg of you!” Jongdae begs, suddenly speaking up and Death turns his dark eyes towards Jongdae.

 

“A deal is a deal. Minseok gave me his life to return yours and that’s exactly what I’ve come to collect today.” Death says calmly.

 

“Please, I’ll do anything!” Jongdae cries. He’s desperate now. He doesn’t want Minseok to go.

 

“There’s nothing you can do. The terms of our agreement can’t be changed.”

 

“Then take mine life! Take it back!” Jongdae says and Minseok’s head whips to face Jongdae in shock.

 

“Jongdae no!”

 

Death holds up his hand to halt them from saying anything else.

 

“There’s no need to fret Minseok. I don’t take back a life I have already given back. As I said, there’s nothing you can do or nothing you could give me that would or could change the terms.”

 

Jongdae nearly wails at that and Minseok has to wrap him in his arms. Throughout this entire year he had never regretted his decision but now he was beginning to do just that.

 

“It’s time to say your final goodbyes.” Death’s voice hits them hard.

 

Minseok pulls away from Jongdae and the both look at each other. They take in everything of each other, trying to remember every little detail. Jongdae’s cheeks are wet with already shed tears and Minseok didn’t know he was crying as well until Jongdae wiped his cheeks. Slowly they both lean forward and meet in the middle and kiss passionately. They can both taste the salt from tears on their lips. They didn’t know how long they kissed for but when the pulled a part they were short of breath.

 

“I love you.” Minseok whispered and Jongdae’s breath hitched.

 

“I love you too.”

 

With fresh tears falling from his eyes he turned towards Death who was looking at them with something in his eyes that he couldn’t quite place.

 

“Will it hurt?” he asks.

 

“It won’t. It’ll just feel like you’re falling asleep. It’ll be peaceful and free of pain.” Death tells him and Minseok nods. “Lay down.” He instructs and Minseok does what he’s told lying like he would when going to bed before Death once again directs his attention towards Jongdae. “You may hold him.” He gives Jongdae his permission and Jongdae doesn’t pause.

 

They rearrange themselves into a position where Minseok’s head is resting in the youngers lap, his hands cupping his face. Death walks to stand beside the bed and hovers his hand over Minseok’s heart.

 

“It won’t take long.” Is all he says before he presses his hand against his chest, leaving it there for a few seconds before pulling it away. “You’ll start to feel tired. If there’s anything you want to say you might want to do it now before it’s too late.”

 

“I love you. I’ve always loved you.” Minseok says and Jongdae begins to cry, cries which only get harder when he sees the increasingly difficulty Minseok has in opening he eyes once they close.

 

“Live.” Minseok whispers before his eyes close only to stay that way, never to open again.

 

And Jongdae’s sobs. He sobs hard and uncontrollably, his tears falling onto Minseok’s peaceful face.

 

He’s gone. Minseok’s gone.

 

He’s startled when a hand finds itself under his chin and lifts his face up and find himself staring into the face of Death.

 

“Heed your lover’s words, Kim Jongdae and live. Make the most of the life he gave you. You’re allowed to mourn him, you’re allowed to miss him and you’re allowed to remember him but don’t let his sacrifice he in vain.”

 

It’s the last thing that he ways to Jongdae before he disappears.

 

It’s then that he realises it…

 

It’s raining.

 

---

This was another monster. It was not supposed to be this long but I have no self control and didn't want to omit anything from it. I actually could have written heaps more but I stopped myself before It could get over the 8k mark. I actually loved writhing this. I love reading and watching TV shows, movies and books with supernatural elements. One of my favourite TV shows is actually Supernatural and some of you may have picked up me using the crossroads from the show in this. Again, I just couldn't help myself. And I think most of you would have worked it out but if you didn't them I'll tell you now: Kyungsoo was Death. Pretty cliche I know but for the third time, I just could help myself ^^

Some things have happened this week. I uh... I joined a gym... It's something I've wanted to do for a while but finally committed to it. Me and a friend are going to be doing it together. I've wanted to do it for many reasons. 1) I would like to become more active and 2) I've always struggled with my weight and have had a hard time loosing it. I've chained my diet multiple times and used to do gymnastics and karate but those didn't head any results either. The last few years after finishing highschool I have been pretty lazy so I'm hoping this will get me more active and to lose weight. I don't want to lose a whole lot. I think this will be good for me. I'm a bit nervous, especially considering it's going to be a new situation with new people and new experiences but I'm looking forward to it. My friends and family have been quite supportive so that makes me feel good about it. My friend and I will act as motivators for each other.

I also only have a little under two weeks before I go back to uni. I just want to warn you guys that the weekly updates might not be continuing for much longer. They won't stop but they'll no longer have a consistent schedule. If this is sad news to some of you I understand, but please understand that while I love doing this I need to place my focus on university before anything else. I'm in third year this year so it's going to take a lot of my time. I'll let you all know when I'll officially decide to stop the weekly updates.

There hasn't been to much that has happened in the Kpop world this weeks. It looks like the Hixtape is on it's way soon and I can't wait for it. Episode 4 of Idol Producer came and and it was very enjoyable. The first eliminations will be coming along soon and I'm a little worried for some of my faves. I finally finished Stray Kids and I ing cried when Felix was eliminated even though I already knew it was going to happen T_T Now, I'm not someone who is fond of valentines day but I hope you all had a great one!

I also want to take this time to give a special thanks to a few people who have been a continued support for me over this series as well as my other stories. You guys are the best. I won't name you but you know you are :) I also want to thank everyone else who had read, commented, bookmarked, subscribed and upvoted. It really means a lot to me <3

I'll see you all next week!