Request by Menaali527

I wanted to request a chapter where baekhyun gets comforted but the members when they realise how much he changed the past few months and how much he is hurt about all of the hate he gets and it will be even better if they’re all friends and not couples especially Chanbaek friendship >< (not that I hate the idea of them being a couple but I guess it would be more realistic?)

Word count: 2071

There was only so much a person could take before they broke and Baekhyun thought he was devastatingly close to shattering into a thousand pieces. He just, he just didn’t think he could take it anymore.

What had he done to deserve this? What could he have possibly done for people to say things like this about him?

He considered himself a strong person. He always had. There’s wasn’t a whole lot that actually managed to break past his defences. Most of the time his defences were just grazed, enough that he would be able to patch the scar until it was as good as if it were new. He had never really had anything smash right past and take a piece out of him but that’s exactly what had happened only on a gradual, bit by bit basis until it finally broke and he felt like it was all too much.

They say that actions speak louder than words but Beakhyun would have to disagree, especially in this circumstance for it was the words that pierced right through him. But it wasn’t verbal in nature. No. It was the written that hurt him the most.

He tried to ignore it, he really did. But it was everywhere he looked. He had always been told to stay away from the comments but what can he say? Sometimes he just didn’t listen. Every time his finger pressed the refresh button new comments would pop up. There were those that made him smile but with that came the ones that had his stomach clenching and eyes burning.

He had a huge following on social media. When he had first created his account he had done it so his fans would be able to get a look into his daily life, to feel closer to him and he loved doing it. It made him smile and feel proud of himself. But lately he hadn’t been able to feel anything of the sort.

It had all started a few months ago with just a little comment made on one of his posts, one where his face was bare, completely void of makeup and hair dishevelled and damp from his shower. He knew his fans loved pictures like this, the ‘boyfriend’ pictures and he always felt a cheeky little smile appear on his face as he posted them and scrolled through the comments.

However these was one that had his finger freezing as his eyes stared blankly at the one word in capital letters that stood out to him like a cow in a field of sheep.

‘UGLY’

He started at it for a moment, trying to figure out why this word hurt him so much. It wasn’t the first time he had seem something like this about him in the comments before.

Shaking his head he forced himself to scroll past it and tried to focus on the positive comments but only the bad seemed to stand out now. It was like he was subconsciously picking the few bad ones out of the thousands of good ones.

Having enough he locks his phone and puts it on his bedside table and stares at the ceiling. After a while he closes his eyes and turns towards the wall and is asleep in minutes. The next morning everything is forgotten but it wasn’t made to last.

Baekhyun had never been someone who as was self-conscious about his looks. He has always been pretty content with the way he was. He looked mostly like his father with little bits of his mother in there and he had always found his father handsome and his mother pretty so he couldn’t be that bad, could he?

It happens at an event. He thinks that he had asked for it but he really doesn’t know. He had mentioned to the fans that he should walk around without makeup, the fans letting out a collective, drawn out no at his comment. He had smiled but he really wanted to grimace. I look better without makeup he continued to question them and the fans voiced their affirmative. So does that mean I should wear makeup all of the time he said and once again they voice their affirmative.

He just laughed, pretending that the words hadn’t had any impact on him.

That was the moment the first hole was smashed into his defences.

After that he began to cover up when he went outside without makeup. His usual cap was replaced with a bucket hat pulled low onto his face to cover as much skin as possible, a face mask adorning the lower half of his face, those two working together to cover his entire face.

The comments had gone from bad to worse or maybe they really hadn’t. Maybe it was just all he was paying attention to now.

He had started to come across more and more comments that were about things other then his looks. Criticisms of his voice, of his dance and even his attitude.

It was all wearing him down pretty thin, especially when he so how many likes those comments would get. Did people really think that bad of him? Did they really hate him that much?

He thought he could hide it, keep it within himself. He thought that he could continue to act like his usual happy go lucky self always filled with positivity and smiles but there was only so much he could take. He defences had been completely crushed and it hadn’t gone unnoticed.

His behaviour over the last couple of months had attracted the attention of s. They looked over at him in worry. He had caught there starts more than once. All he would to is smile in return and turn away, the smile slipping off then he was no longer facing said member. What he didn’t know is that they would do the same thing.

They didn’t say anything and he didn’t either.

However he knew it was only time before s sat him down and talked to him about it. Well, confronted him about it if he wanted to be specific.

He knew what was happening the moment he walked into the room to see all of s sitting in the lounge room with a space left between Jongdae and Chanyeol, a space he knew was reserved for him not only because it was right next to his fellow ’92 liners, but because when seated he would be directly across from Junmyeon.

He felt dread settle in.

“Come take a seat Baekhyun.” Junmyeon said to him and he did as he was told. He really didn’t have it in him to disobey anyway. He was tired.

Baekhyun sat down between his fellow beagles and leaned back, body language trying to portray that he was unbothered – bored – by the whole thing.

“Okay, let’s get this started then.” Baekhyun drawled and internally winced at the looks on s faces. A hand – Chanyeol’s – tightened on his leg just above his knee and it made Baekhyun look down.

“I’m going to cut to the chase.” Junmyeon said, a slightly disappointed tilt to his voice at Baekhyun’s attitude. “You haven’t been yourself lately and frankly we’re all concerned.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine.” Sehun stresses looking more annoyed then usual and Baekhyun hates that it’s directed at him.

Baekhyun purses his lips.

“You’ve been really…down. Upset and it’s been a little off putting.” Jongin adds. Baekhyun is surprised that it’s the maknae’s that are the ones to gang up on him first.

“What? Can’t a guy be upset or something every now and again?” be bites back defensively with more force and volume then what was needed if the tightening of Chanyeol’s hand once again was any indicator.

He curses internally when Jongin flinches, wanting to apologise immediately but is held back by his own pride.

“That’s not the issue Baekhyun and you know it.” Comes Jongdae’s biting voice from beside him. Baekhyun flicks his eyes to the side to look at the slightly older man. “You have every right to be upset. Hell, I know there are times when I’m upset as well. But when upset becomes a constant, that’s when it’s not okay anymore Baekhyun. It means something’s wrong.”

Baekhyun clenches his jaw at those words. Jongdae has always been able to see right through him. It’s one of the reasons why they got along so well.

“There’s nothing wrong.” He continues to deny even though he should just give it up already but it’s in his nature that when he’s backed into a corner be becomes defensive, ready to put up a fight if need be.

“Baekhyun seriously? Just cut it out already.” Minseok says and Baekhyun sits up straighter at the sound of the oldest hyungs voice.

Despite being quiet most of the time Minseok had the uncanny ability to put them in their place and admit their darkest secrets. Maybe it had something to do with them being in a society where it had been engrained in them from birth to respect their elders, or maybe it was being there was something about Minseok that made them feel vulnerable, that made them trust him.

“We know that you’ve been reading the comments online and focussing on only the bad ones. You try to act like none of it bothers you but you’re behaviour says the exact opposite. You’ve started to become self-conscious about your abilities and it shows. We’re not oblivious Baekhyun and we know you’re not either. Let us help you.” His eyes bore into his own. “Let us in.”

“We’re not going to call or think of you as weak if you show your emotions to us. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to scream. It’s okay.” Yixing says and his words go straight into his soul.

Baekhyun presses the palms of his hands into his eyes and swallows. He’s conflicted.

“Just say what’s in your heart.” Chanyeol nearly whispers.

“I can’t take it anymore. Everything they’re saying, all of the bad things, it’s just too much. I try to ignore it but…”

“We all know what you’re feeling Baekhyun.” Junmyeon says and Baekhyun looks at the leader with wet eyes. “We all get our fair share of hate and we all know that telling you to ignore it is pointless because it never works but it doesn’t matter what other people think of you and your abilities. What matters is what you yourself thinks about your abilities as well as the people closest to you, not strangers.”

“I know.” He says softly. “I know but it’s hard.”

“Of course it is. Nothing is ever easy now is it?” Junmyeon lifts an eyebrow and Baekhyun nods. He’s right. Most things in life aren’t easy at all.

“Come and talk to use when you’re upset or need help with something. We’re all here for each other.” Chanyeol smiles and for the first time since sitting down Baekhyun feels his lips twitch up in gratitude.

He really loves them. They’re his brothers in everything but blood.

“I – I’ll try. I can’t promise anything but I’ll try.”

Junmyeon slaps his hands in his thighs before standing up.

“Well that’s something at least. Anyone up for takeaway?”

“Oh I want fried chicken!” Jongin says excitedly.

“But we had fried chicken two days ago~” Jongdae whines.

“Hands up for fried chicken!” Jongin yelled only to pout when his is the only one raised. Jongdae, the ever mature one pokes his tongue out at the dancer.

The dorm is then plunged into chaos as they try to come to an agreement on what to have for dinner. None of them would budge.

Baekhyun watches the commotion with the biggest smile on his face. He decides to take a picture of himself, face completely uncovered and free of makeup. After he takes it he smiles. He thinks for a moments before finally deciding to upload it, captioning the picture with one word: Happy.

Putting his phone down he isn’t surprised to see that a consensus still hadn’t been reached so he decided to take matters in his own hands.

All heads turn towards him when they hear him talking on the phone and placing an order to the Chinese takeout place they usually order from. When he hangs up it’s completely silent.

“I hope you’re all up for Chinese food.”

First of all I've made the decision to halt new requests as of now. While I love receiving all of your requests they're coming in faster than what I'm writing them and that has caused a huge queue of requests waiting to be written. But don't worry, it won't be closed forever, just until I've managed to catch up on the ones I've already received. I'm sorry to all who have not yet requested anything and wish to. I may set up a form or something where you can write up your request but I'll keep you all posted on that. I'm hoping to get a bit written so maybe I can update every Wednesday and maybe a day in between but that depends on how much I do get written during the week.

There were two big releases this week. BTS released the Japanese version of MIC Drop and EXO dropped the short version of the Electric Kiss MV. I love both so much. EXO's Japanese releases are always so good. I'm looking forward to the full version as it looks like Jongdae has a love interest if what we saw in the MV plus the behind the scenes is anything to go by. A little creeped out by the human anatomy model though. I love how they release the MV nearly 2 months before the album drops but we know absolutely nothing about their winter album and that's supposed to come out before the end of the year.

I'm not going to say much about the awards. MAMA but the MMA's were great. All of the artists seemed much happier there then what they did at MAMA. Congratulations to all of the award winners though and a big congratulations to Jongdae and Yoongi for their individual awards! My two babies <3 Yoongi looked both happy and totally embarrassed as the rest of them acted like bodyguards and escorted him XD And how the EXO members looked so god damn happy at Nosedive winning. What supportive brothers they all are. Now, Jongdae mentioning Yixing and how much they miss and love him just made my heart so warm and I nearly screamed. When watching the live I obviously couldn't understand what he was saying but when Jongdae said "Lay hyung" I was like!! And then when Yixing won album of the year he mentioned EXO and was pretty much directly replying to their shout out my heart nearly burst out of my chest.

I finally watched the Run episodes that I needed to catch up on and I tell you I could not stop laughing. The karaoke and fashion show episode were the best. Yoongi was so hyped during the karaoke episode. Namjoon looked like an artist in Tae's clothes. The shoes though >.< And Hoseok... oh god haha. I didn't look to bad and he worked it like no one else but those pants. And all of those layers. I swear their closets are bigger than my room.

Anyway see you all next week!