It has been hours since his last text, and it did not help at all that the last thing he sent you was, "I might be in trouble". You avoided worrying about it, because there can really be times when he sends such cryptic messages that make you worry incessantly, only to find out later that it was actually no big deal and you should not have worried in the first place. But even so, it was way past midnight, and that cryptic text was sent around 6pm. He would have told me if he had gotten home, right?

You stared at your phone for a long while, hoping that at any second it would ring. You've sent a number of messages already, but all of them went unanswered--both calls and text messages. After another moment's hesitation, you scrolled past Seokmin's name and rang someone else.

"Yeoboseyo?" replied a groggy voice after three rings.

"Seungkwan? It's me," you said. "Is Seokmin home already?"

"Noona? It's so late..." whined Seungkwan, but there was a rustling of sheets as he seemed to have gotten up. After a pause, he said, "Seokmin hyung isn't in his bed though. He might still be in Pledis, he usually stays overnight with Bumzu hyung and Jihoon hyung."

Your shoulders slumped. "Is that so? Okay, thank you, Seungkwannie. I'm sorry for disturbing you, please sleep well now."

You debated about going to Pledis in a later hour. After all, it's in the wee hours of the morning already. Knowing your luck, it might be a guard who doesn't know you who might be on shift, but then you were also worried beyong belief for Seokmin that you didn't think you'd be able to sleep anyway. So after a moment, you dressed warmly and headed out to Pledis. With what seemed to be a huge amount of luck, the night shift guard was someone who knew you, and when you asked about Seokmin, the guard said something about him coming in at 9 in the evening and was yet to come out. He let you in and you immediately made your way to Bumzu's studio where the members went to record, because upon passing, even Jihoon's studio was already empty. You were still a few steps away when you heard a voice singing, and while it sounded beautiful, it also sounded tired.

"Seokmin, it's late and your voice is strained," said a voice that sounded like Bumzu. "Even Jihoon has gone home. You go on too, or else you're going to ruin your vocal chords at this rate."

"But I haven't gotten this part down and there's a schedule tomorrow," said Seokmin, and even his speaking voice was on the edges of sounding hoarse.

Bumzu sighed. "If you keep at it tonight you won't be able to perform at all tomorrow. Go on home because I'm not helping you out anymore tonight. Go and rest."

After a pause, Seokmin sighed too and the door suddenly swung open, inches away from your face. You were caught dead in your tracks as Seokmin strode out, and he seemed more surprised of seeing you than you were of him that he flinched and gave a start of surprise.

"What are you doing here?" he said after he caught himself.

You felt your voice get caught in your throat as you said, "Y-you didn't call me back and Seungkwan said you might still be here."

After a heartbeat he had gotten over his shock and he gently pulled you into a warm embrace. "I'm so sorry, I made you worry again. Come on, I'll walk you home."

The walk was comfortably quiet despite the cold, early winter air. Seokmin kept a hold of your hand and had stuffed it in one of his coat pockets, and he kept his pace with yours. Even as he walked with a gentle swing, something about his face told you that he was tense. There was a knot on his brow, and he swallowed and sighed every few paces.

"How's your voice?" you aske quietly after a while. You were well-aware that he only lost control of it when he was tired, but if there was something else bothering him, you wanted him to tell you himself without you needing to pry it out of him.

"It's okay, I guess," he answered vaguely. "It's just, there's this part in our song that I can't get right, so I asked Bumzu hyung for help."

"I see..." That's not it. Something else was wrong and he's not telling you what it was. His very body language betrayed him. Suddenly you stopped, causing him to look at you. He tightened his hand around yours as a sor of reassurance.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

You looked at him squarely in the eye and said, "Is it your ear?"

A look of surprise flashed on his face, but he quickly switched to a calm look. "My ear's fine," he said, but he also avoided your gaze for a second. "I had it treated before, you know that. It's not the problem."

You pulled your hand out of his pocket and and let it hang by your side. "Then what is? Why can't you tell me? I want to help you."

"I've worried you enough."

"And you think all this vague answers won't make me worry more? When it comes to this, why do I always have to find out by accident? Don't you trust me? I want to help you!"

"It's not something you can help me with!" he suddenly burst, causing you to flinch and take a quick step back. He looked frustrated, and his breath came in quick puffs of air. The happy mask he wore slid off and he looked so trapped, so worried. Then he seemd to realize what he just did and tried to step toward you and take your hand. "I-I mean... I just..."

You stepped further and out of his reach. "I promised to support you no matter what, to share your burden. You used to tell me everything. I was your best friend, remember? But how can I do what I promised if you don't tell me what's wrong anymore?" You could feel the tears stinging the back of your eyes, and so before he could see them, you turned and ran away. You ran all the way home, ignoring the stitch building at your sides until you reached your apartment. By then you were too tired to cry anymore that you just peeled off your winter clothes and fell asleep on the couch.

The next day, you woke up to a series of messages glaring from your phone, all of which were from Seokmin. You ignored them all and went through your usual morning routine ad wore a fresh set of clothes after a long, warm shower. It was a weekend, and thankfully you didn't have to work that day. You sliced up some fruit and sat in front of the TV for most of the day. When midmorning rolled in, someone knocked on your door. Thinking it was the landlady, you got up to answer it.

"I promise I'll pay--AH!" you yelped when you saw Seokmin standing there.

He looked a little worse for wear, and beneath the makeup and the fancy clothes he looked tired. His eyes were bloodshot and his arms fell heavily at his sides, and his face had the expression of a kicked puppy.

"Yah, don't you have a schedule today?" you said, aghast, forgetting that you were angry at him for a moment because your protective instincts were louder and more demanding of attention.

He collected his breath for a bit and you noticed the sweat running down his temples. "The moment I was told it was cancelled, I ran here. I needed to see you. I can never perform when I knew you were angry with me." After a pause, he added, "You know I sing all our songs for you, to you."

You bit your lip and regained your composure. "Well, what do you want?" you said coldly.

He seemed to deflate, and he said with an even sadder face and voice, "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I keep things to myself because I don't want anyone to worry about me, even the members. I know, I should have told at least you, because you're my best friend. But stupid me, I didn't want you to worry either."

"You didn't think I would worry more?"

He sighed and nodded. "Come to think of it, I should have told you in the first place because you always see right through me anyway. You've always cared for me, you've always given me everything I could wish for, and all I could give you in return are my worries. I know you have your own share of those, and it didn't seem right for me to dump mine on you."

"Even then, I'd rather you tell me than keep me in the dark."

"Yeah, I see that now. I'm sorry."

After a pause, you pursed your lips, preparing for the worst, and said, "So? What's wrong?"

He sighed deeply, hesitating till the last moment before saying, "I visited the doctor for a check-up not a week ago, and he said... He said my ear might potentially be infected." At that, you gasped and your hands flew to your mouth. He added, "it's not serious yet, and it can be cured, but lately I've been so paranoid that I want to keep practicing in case, y'know, I lose my hearing."

You had no words, you were too shocked to come up with anything to say, so instead of trying, you reached up and hugged him. He willingly wrapped his arms around your waist, and in he next heartbeat you felt warm tears on your shoulders.

"I'm scared," he said in a choked-up voice. "I don't want to let the members and the fans down. I don't want to let you down. I can't perform when you're angry at me. You're the reason I can perform at all."

"Nothing in this world will make me love you less, Lee Seokmin. Remember that," you replied. He let you go from the hug but kept his arms around your waist. You reached at his face and thumbed away the tears on his cheek. Despite them, he smiled softly.

"You're the most amazing singer I've ever heard, and I've never met anyone more hardworking," you added. "The fans love you. Your members are your brothers, and they love you. And I'm here too. Can you lean on us a bit, even as we lean on you?"

His smiled grew warmer. "You've always been so strong, stronger than me."

You smiled back at him as your fingers ran through his hair. "I get my strength from you the same way that I'm the reason you sing," you replied. "You don't know how much you've helped me, how much you've changed my life. I've got nowhere to be but by your side."

He leaned down and kissed your forehead softly, his breath and lips warm against your skin. "Thank you. I love you."

"I love you too. Forever and always, right?"

"Forever and always."