Jackson looked around the house he had left for months. It was still the same but it was unusually quiet. He stepped further inside as he left his luggage in the living room. He knew someone was home but he could not find anyone. His legs brought him in front of his parents’ bedroom. Yes, he was back in Hong Kong. They were currently preparing for a comeback but this time, JYP gave them one week holiday. So he wasted no time, he booked a ticket to Hong Kong. Aside from visiting his sick mom, his goal was to redeem another chance he hopelessly let pass. He knocked on the door and heard a soft voice answering from inside. Jackson presumed his mom was home alone. He stepped in and was greeted by his mom’s smile.

            “You’re finally home, son. Why didn’t you tell us that you are coming home?” His mom asked while spreading her arms wide. Jackson quickly enveloped himself in her hug.

            “I just want to surprise you. I miss you, mom. Why are you sick again? Where is dad?” His mom laughed at his question. She was taking a look at his face while caressing his cheek. He was now sitting on the bed beside his mom.

            “Your dad went to visit his friend at hospital. He will be back for dinner.” Only the last question was answered. Jackson noticed that but he did not want to ask further. He thought that maybe he could ask his dad later.

            “You look so different from the last time I saw you, love. Why is it? Is everything going well with your job?” His mom asked in concern. Jackson looked on the floor and sigh. He was not ready to tell her what his resolution this time was. His mom tilted her head to the side when her son looked down. Something was surely bothering him; mother instinct.

            “Jackson? What is it?” She somehow had a hunch on where the question she asked would lead to but she was not sure yet. By the time Jackson looked up to face his mom, when she cupped his chin, he was in tears. It brought surprise to his mom as she gasps.

            “Mom, don’t you pity me?” Jackson asked in broken voice. Guess he could not contain it already. It had been messing up with his mind for a long time that everything seemed not enough to fit already. His mom looked so flustered by it.

            “You know it, mom. I have something that I know about but I can’t do anything with it. It’s so frustrating, mom. Why can’t you let me?” Jackson felt so bad for asking this right after he reached home but that was his purpose of coming back. He wanted to beg to be free from what was haunting him. His mom facial expression was starting to change. Anger was about to take over the caring expression that was shown just now. Her hands were forming a fist.

            “This is what you choose, Jackson. You choose your career over them.”

            “But… but you know why I did that.” Of course she knew the reason and that was frustrating her too. What else she had to ignore his wish?

            “Mom, imagine yourself in my place right now.” Now that pushed her limit. She would not want to be in that place for sure but she hated to let him go.

            “Enough, Jackson! I thought you know that I don’t want to talk about this again. I didn’t give you permission to quit fencing for you to cry like a fool here. Remember what you promised us!” Jackson stopped crying at once even though there was still tears remaining. He looked down again with a realization. After all, it was his fault for promising everything. To his parents and to her. He nodded his head at last, in defeat.

            “I’ll be in my room. Sorry to disturb your rest. I will get my rest too.” Jackson said as he stood up. He was not making eye contact with his mom because who knows what would happen if he looked at her with that eyes of his. Eyes which full of continuous hope and wish. Eyes that did not want to give up even though he was defeated that day.

            The door was locked. GOT7’s Hard Carry was playing, rocking the practice room as if someone was dancing hard to it. But there were only two people in the room. They were sitting away from the source of the sound. The song was just a cover for their secret date that day, just like what they did a few times before.

            “Jackson doesn’t seem fine since he filmed for Return of the Superman. I think you know why.” Mark informed his girlfriend. He knew she hated that name because he saw her expression turned sour.

            “Well, it’s good for someone popular like him.” DanHee stated bitterly, did not forget to emphasize the word ‘popular’.

            “DanHee, don’t say it like that. He works very hard by faking his own self just to get over his past. He deserves the fame he has.”

            “Well, so did he get over it? There’s no way it’s that easy to forget what he did. He doesn’t even deserves the fame. He better suffer with it.” Mark was speechless at that. He knew he could never change DanHee’s idea on Jackson. It was clear that Jackson was at fault too. He decided to keep quiet this time. He initially mentioned Jackson’s name to somehow persuade her to help Jackson but the way she talked about him made him think twice. It was not obvious but Mark knew DanHee was affected by it too. She was hurt on her behalf. After all, they were all once friends.

            “By the way, is it true that he has something with YoungJi?” Mark darted his eyes to his girlfriend, could not believe his ears that she was actually asking something about Jackson even though it sounds as if she was muttering the question. DanHee was looking away, aware that Mark was eyeing her.

            “You mean, Heo YoungJi, right?” Mark asked, did not want her to feel uncomfortable with her own question. At least she asked about Jackson, which was the first time. DanHee did not answer his question hence he thought he was talking about the same person.

            “Well, we all know that Jackson can’t get over his past yet how come he has something with her.”

            “Well, who knows he used her to get over it.” DanHee answered and Mark was silent upon that. Somehow what she said was right. He made a mental note to ask Jackson about this the next time he saw him.

            “Urgh! Why are we talking about this? This is our date. We should talk about something fun.” DanHee said and pouted at last. Mark chuckled at that. He was sorry that he brought up Jackson’s name on their date. He raised his hand to pinch her cheek.

            “Aigoo, you are so cute!”

            “Hey, what are you suddenly saying this?” DanHee looked at him suspiciously. Mark kept smiling at her. There was time DanHee was being annoying but most of the time he would go with the flow. He had no heart to get angry because the girl in front of him had been together with him through up and down for years already. She accepted all consequences of dating an idol who was always busy and actually have no time to spend time with. It was his fault too because he was the one who wanted to continue their relationship despite the no-dating-for-three-years rule. Just like what Jackson thought, Mark was a loyal man for DanHee.

            “You said you want to talk about something fun. So what is it?” Mark asked. DanHee kept quiet for a while as she was remembering something to tell her boyfriend.

            “Oh, I am planning to meet up with YoonMi later.” DanHee told him. Mark’s eyes sparkled upon that name and it did not go unnoticed by DanHee.

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