20. Prayers (Daejae)
31 Days of DecemberYoungjae hated praying, He thought it was useless trying to ask for something that could never happen. He hated how vulnerable he felt, a cross in his hand, his knees bent. But he was stuck, lost. Why did everyone he knew tell him to pray in his time of need. It wasn't going to solve his problems. It wasn't going to hide the fact that Daehyun had left him, who was just simply tired of Youngjae. He knew that he had issues but he never thought they would drive the only person he loved away. How was praying suppose to bring him back, to tell him that Youngjae loved him with every inch of his body? How was praying going to help Youngjae hold back his suicidal thoughts? How was Youngjae suppose to live now that he had no reason to live? And there was his answer. It didn't. He knew he was doomed to a life of solitude and cruel silence. He knew he wouldn't last soon and so he took a video, telling Daehyun how much he loved him. How much he really meant to Youngjae.
He ended the video with a simple goodbye, not sending the video until the knife had caused too much damage. He didn't see the countless calls and messages he received from a frantic Daehyun, who had left because he hadn't felt loved. And now he never would again.
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