iii. "The Hostess"  

“It does. It make sense to the people who know I can trully help,” 

The moment he touched the door, his heart fell again. He felt it grow heavy as his breathing was heavy and came in short. His stomach felt like it was missing and he had a deep desire to turn around and run away. 

Before his thoughts reached his legs, the door swung open. He looked up, already deciding that he will pretend like he was a passing client. His words got caught in his throat, ticking his mouth as his breathing hitched.

There was a girl, she was roughly his height, maybe an inch shorter. Her hair was soft and dark, falling over her right shoulder in waves. Her dark brown eyes hidden behind a black mask as she bit her peach shaded lips. Her pale dark blue dress were formed by ruffles that hung lose around her body and all she had to do was smile to make him forget he wanted to leave.

“Hello,” she spoke, her voice soft and innocent. Her eyes slightly shimmering in the soft corridor lights.

“Hi,” he mumbled, that deep desire to leave somehow diminishing even more when the girl softly smiled. He felt his entire heart racing as his breathing only increased. He took in a deep breath, only to have his entire senses intoxicated by the sweet and soft smell of cherry blossoms in a chilly spring day.

“Are you my client?” She raised her voice, it was filed with confidence as she straightens her posture and her face shifted into a more professional one.

There was a pause, and Jungkook didn’t know it was time to choose.

He was still in his work attire. A simple white dress up shirt, plain black dress pants and polished black shoes. He felt his navy-blue tie suddenly tightening around his neck as the buttons on his cuffs were suffocating his wrists.

“Yes,” he mumbled, that shame he held for a brief second suddenly being washed down his throat as he cleared his throat. The girl nodded with a pressed smile, moving aside, and welcoming him in.

The room was well light, it wasn’t really intimate at all. It simply felt like small lounge. It was roughly the size of his office, and his office was fairly large. There was a table with four seats in the upper left corner. They were decorated like the ones downstairs. A coffee table right in the middle with a flower bouquet of white lilies as two sofa chairs were against the wall, opened up to the coffee table. It was well arranged for the limited space.

He sighed heavily, taking in every detail. There were a couple of paintings, beautiful drawings made of Disney characters, one peculiar was of a castle. This one was the largest and hung the proudest on the wall which the sofa chairs were against.

“You’re Mr. Jeon, correct?” Her voice echoed inside the room, not giving him enough time to think of what to do.

“Yes,” he spoke, that was all that he could say after feeling dreadful with one second of silence. He didn’t know what to say, everything felt so delusional all of a sudden, as if he was in a dream. His mind desperately wanted to think he was imagining everything because nothing felt real anymore. He knew it was his complex mind thinking again, he had a unique way of thinking that he doesn’t understand it at times.

“I would like to mention that this place is strictly confidential. Don’t be afraid to say what is on our mind,” she spoke, her voice soft and very clear. She was trying her best to make him feel comfortable, but he didn’t seem to feel so welcomed in that room.

“Would you like to sit? It’s a good place to start, after all, I can see you’re new and don’t know what to do,” she spoke, her voice becoming more neutral. It was as if she was shifting into a character, a more professional character.

“Sure,” he spoke, not even asking how she knew he was new. He simply took in a deep breath and begun to walk to the dinner table that was set up. He felt his fingers turn cold as his stomach felt empty, he wanted to leave but he felt like he had to see the night through.

She simply walked towards the table, in silence. A small smile on her lips as her eyes begun to let loose of that soft and simple vibe from moments ago.  

He didn’t take notice but there was already food on the table. Small rolls of what looked like high rated seafood. They hardly served these rolls in common restaurants. From the color and the green condiment on the roll, he could tell that a high-level chef prepared them. He knew because he had eaten them in a company business meeting in Japan, a very important meeting.

The hostess poured wine into a glass, imported uncommon wine. It was German and had a more complex name that Jungkook could never think to pronounce. He was about to tell her not to bother, that he didn’t like wine all that much but before he could get the words out, he realized he doesn’t know her name. She never introduced herself. 

But as he looked at her setting the glass down towards his end, he realized that her aura and her entire appearance changed. She no longer looked soft and kind, it was like she got into a character and she was radiating mystery. Her eyes turned dark and her posture was simply seductive and her smile simply felt like she had some wicked plan swimming in her mind.

“What is your name?” He asked, looking across the table with fine china and luxurious food. Her eyes peered at him, they were dark and alluring, almost as if they were a mystery to be solved.

“Cinderella,” she spoke, her voice soft like velvet. It was so smooth and hypnotizing that the man almost forgot to breath.

“No, your real name, not your host name,” he spoke, his voice slightly demanding as he wasn’t sure why he was even here. The ring on his finer falling heavily as she peered at it softly.

“I’m in a work environment, I cannot reveal my real name, my real life,” she spoke, her eyes softly and gently looking at the engagement ring on his hand. She ran her hand through her black hair that cascaded in waves to the side. The black mask catching the light and almost blinding him from the sparkling glitter. “I am simply your host,” she spoke again, her eyes picking up and meeting his.

“Well then, I’m guessing my presence here is very confidential,” he spoke, his voice slightly cold and full of nerves. He was too high in profile to comfortably walk into this bar and walk out without any worry.

“Of course. Mr. Jeon, no one will know you are here. Just like you don’t know me after our session, I will not know you,” she spoke, a chuckle so childlike and endearing at the beginning of her sentence. She was gorgeous and so laid back, no wonder she was the most desired hostess here. 

He was told that her schedule is always so busy, it’s hard for her to take in new clients individually. But it was the fact that he asked her by name, the name the bartender gave him, that she agreed to take him in.

“Why did the bartender tell me to ask for Cinderella but when I called, they have you as Ice Princess?” He asked, feeling the question buzzing inside his mind. He couldn’t just ignore it, it was an answer he oddly felt desperate to get.  

“Only Junhong recommends me as Cinderella. It’s a codename, for people who really need to talk to someone,” she begun to speak, her voice just as velvet smooth and alluring, even when speaking the bartender’s name.

“That makes no sense,” he retorted, not letting her finish her explanation that was already making his brain hurt. His anger slightly coming out for such a small thing, the girl peered at him in slight fear and interest, his change of character made her very curious.

“It does. It make sense to the people who know I can trully help,” she spoke, her voice slightly dragging on the syllables as if she was coming up with a type of idea or plan inside her head. Jungkook scoffed, not believing what he was hearing. She was a mere host, someone who would still sell themselves for the right price, she had no sense of morality and therefore, should be preaching advise.

“No offense, but since when are you qualified to help me?” He asked, agitation and disbelief mixing inside his words. She looked at him with squinting eyes, trying to read his mood and getting nothing. It was as if he was decently okay one second, and raging to be correct in fury the next. But she noticed one thing, he finally bit down onto her bait.

“So, you do need help,” she spoke, a wicked smile spreading across her face in deep satisfaction. She wanted him to admit it himself, to finally acknowledge he was in a dire need to talk to someone about suffocating feelings.  

Jungkook looked at her in disbelief, part of him wanting to deny it but she already caught him. He was troubled, about everything. He tried to say something, just one thing but the words were caught in his throat. He had nothing.

“Can I take a wild guess?” She spoke, not really asking the question to get an answer, but to claim she will try to guess his troubles. “You look about 25, having graduated from what I assume is a SKY university and already being the heir of a company or have some big position of power. But you hate it all,” her voice was soft again, but it was velvet smooth that almost grabbed Jungkook’s emotions raw and pulled them out.

“Is this how all your conversations go?” He asked, his voice slightly agitated and angered. He felt like screaming, getting some sort of emotion out in anger. He couldn’t believe he was that transparent, she even got his age correct. It’s ridiculous someone who has never meet him, nor knows anything about him, to already be on the bullseye.

“No, most of my conversation go like this. ‘Hello, I am your host, how are you’ and then you say,” she spoke, her mood shifted rather quickly to a happy one as she paused. Jungkook had no desire playing along and when she noticed, she frowned slightly and continued.

“You would say ‘I’m Mr. Jeon and I doing okay but not amazing,’ and I will respond with ‘what is troubling you, I am here to listen,’ and then we would sit and talk about why you are having a bad day, why you are troubled, why you aren’t as happy as you should be considering you received a gift of another day of life,” she spoke, her words tinted in sarcasm as her eyes were glued on to his. They made him feel vulnerable and very much scolded, she was basically telling him he is luckier than some people and all he could do was complain.

It was ridiculous. He felt like she thought she was in some high position of power to be stepping all over him. He wanted to scream, to yell, to tear down that little fantasy she had of being mightier. The reality was that she couldn’t reach the souls of his feet.

“I’m here to talk with you, I genuinely care about my client’s wellbeing. So, I ask with all honesty and concern, are you doing okay?” She spoke, her dark eyes creasing softly as her voice return to that innocent and soft voice. She spoke with earnestness, she was genuinely concern but for reasons he didn’t imagine. His sudden shift of behavior and impulsion were making her worried.

“I’m not okay,” he muttered, all of his fury suddenly shifting into sorrow as he felt his nose sting from emotions. He didn’t know what happened, but that genuine concern over him, something he has not seen by someone outside his circle, was slightly overwhelming.

“Well then, tell me why? How was your day?” She spoke, her eyes falling again softer. She has been shifting back and forth and it looked like she finally chose to be soft. Jungkook’s shift didn’t go unnoted by her, she was taking every detail about his behavior.

“It started like every single morning. My alarm going off at six thirty exactly and my father bustling around, trying to remind me that it’s time to go to hell,” he spoke, not noticing that he started talking as if he was in some sort of therapy session he sees on television.

“You call your workplace hell?” She smiled, understanding why someone would call a workplace they dread hell. But he meant it literally, because to him, it was genuine hell.

“There is no sort of happiness in that building, everything makes me angry and frustrated. I hate the paperwork, I hate being the boss, I hate being in power,” he spoke, his voice building up again in anger just thinking about that office. Just thinking about people kissing his just for money or a higher position. He hated having the power that can make people dance like monkeys, that’s not how a human should act.

“Why don’t you leave then?” She asked, Jungkook knew that she asked for the sake of asking. She knew why he didn’t leave, he could tell she understood why he painfully drags his feet there every morning.  

“I was born into this and I can’t just unborn myself out. I can’t choose the family I was brought into. As much as I dislike my family, I can’t just leave them in the ruins, they are now depending on me,” he spoke, willingly reaching out towards that glass of wine and all he could remember was the engagement party the day before. “I go expecting it to be different for once but it is misery and torture materialized in one,” he muttered into the glass before drenching his lips in the cold and strong alcohol.

“You know phycologist define insane as doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results,” she muttered, grabbing a glass of water instead of the alcohol laid out before her. The word itself triggering the suppressed anger inside of Jungkook.

“I’m not crazy, I’m not insane, I am me, a normal human being,” he spoke, his agitation being build up again. He hated that as of lately, everyone decided to call him insane or use the word in the same sentence with his name. He hated that word, he dreaded that label.

“I’m not saying you are, but you can’t expect things to change if you don’t do something different. If I want to make juice and all I do is put an apple in a cup and wait overnight, is that apple ever going to turn into juice?” She spoke, her words wise and oddly subduing his agitation.

“No,” he muttered in defeat, his eyes leaving hers as he looked at the door.

“I have to do something different. I must juice the apple or something. That is the definition of insanity, now am I still a normal person?” She asked, proving her point in the simplest of examples. Jungkook felt like a fool, he felt like a little kid being yelled at the grocery store.

“Why are you so uncomfortable with being a little insane? Everyone is a little insane, we all do thing repeatedly expecting different results,” she spoke, realizing that Jungkook was not going to answer her question, he had too much pride running through his body to answer.
 

“When someone is insane they are removed from society because they aren’t safe to be a part of society, they aren’t human. I want to be a person, not some walking bank feeding on power and money. I’m not a walking bank,” he spoke with a dread filled tone. He didn’t realize that the term of a walking bank was reserved to his knowledge. The host was taken aback, not knowing what such a term even meant but knew instantly that the term had a big effect on him.

“I never said you were one. What is a walking bank?”

“People who lost all senses of feelings and morality. They don’t care if they hurt someone or not, if their decisions are morally correct or wrong. They only see money and power. A bank wants money and power, just like everyone in my life who would resort to unethical behavior and tactics to get it,” he stopped, he was staring at the door as a set of words were caught on his lips and coated them with a desire to speak the words ‘you are a walking bank.’

Part of him wanted to know if he can catch her, like she had caught him. He wondered if he could have her admit why she works there. He wondered what type of answer she will reveal if he called her out, even if he truly believed she was a walking bank, he wanted to know where this will lead.

“You should know, you’re basically one,” he spoke, his voice spoken slightly wickedly as he turned back and made direct eye contact. Those dark eyes behind that black mask didn’t even budge, she simply smiled in disbelief.

“Junhong wasn’t joking when he said you are very stubborn,” she muttered under her breath as she begun to shake her head, playing him as a stubborn fool.

“Tell me I’m wrong, I dare you because you can’t. It’s always about money, for the right sum I bet you will break the no touch rule in this place,” he spoke, slightly worked up that she looked at him as an idiot. She looked angered now, offended and as her chest moved up and down in a fast pace, she bit onto his bait.

“It is all about money, as a student in debt all I care about is money and power. Why don’t you offer me that sum so I can have your removed from this place,” she spoke, her words spoken with flaring anger as she was beyond disgusted that he would bluntly call her a e.
 

“So, you’re a University student,” he spoke, looking down at the table before picking up his wine glass and being very satisfied with the answer he could claw out of her. He hardly felt like this, satisfaction over his work, and it was a great feeling.

“Wait,” she whispered, all her negative emotions being replaced with simple confusion as she looked at him. She bit her peach shaded lips, her dark eyes simply stared blankly at him as her cherry blossom scent was all she gave off.

“I thought you aren’t allowed to reveal anything about your life Cinderella,” he spoke, satisfaction radiating as if it was a blinding light. His eyes radiated in delight as she looked irritated and amused at the same time.

“You son of a ,” she spoke with a light tone, admitting defeat as he laid out the bait and she was foolish enough to bite. She was the most amused at how positive his mood became when he caught her, as if he found some sort of meaning to his visit here.

“What are you studying?” He asked, trying to see if she’ll reveal a fact at free will. All they have been talking about was him and he didn’t find that fair.

“None of your business in the university of You Shouldn’t Care,” she spoke, a smile trailing in her every word as humor, sarcasm, and annoyance all mixed in a chuckle. He smiled, feeling his own body fill with amusement as the tension was torn down so fast. He chuckled, picking up his wine glass one more time before looking back up at her.

He stopped after a few seconds, realizing something. This is the first time he found himself laughing in years. He hardly smiles, hardly laughs, hardly finds any amusement or happiness around him yet this girl, she made him laugh.

By the way, there is a reason why I'm making Jungkook a very complex character. From the moment the idea for this story started, I wanted to make Jungkook have some sort of phsycological mental problem. As of lately the K-Pop industry is finally realizing that K-Pop idols deal with mental haelth issues too, and I wanted to write a stroy that can be used as awareness, that mental illness isn't a joke. 

Thanks fo reading, have an amazing day you amazing person.