It was a further two days since filming when Ji Hyo decided that she was ready to talk. She had met up the day before over lunch with Kwang Soo and Ha Ha, explaining what had happened and their advice. They had been sympathetic, cursing their hyung for doing such a thing and his ability to be so oblivious, as they tried their best to advise Ji Hyo. It was obvious to both of them that it broke her, the bags under her eyes were indicative enough. On top of that, Kwang Soo could just about hear the first signs of a cold coming through, her voice being raspy not to mention the concerning amount of times she had sneezed in the space of 10 minutes. The two men talked about their concerns about her weight loss as well – her baggy clothes did nothing to hide the lack of fat on her cheekbones – whilst Ji Hyo nipped to the toilet. The lunch with the two men was helpful despite being painful to bring up memories of what had happened, offering a new perspective on her relationship with Jong Kook. They reminded her how special their relationship was, how they were a perfect match for each other in more ways than one and how Ji Hyo really needed to stop ignoring Jong Kook’s calls because they didn’t go through nearly 10 years of for them to end up like this (the last one was Kwang Soo).

Ji Hyo left lunch feeling like she knew what she was doing in the first time in a week and she was grateful. After talking to Ha Ha and Kwang Soo, she was reminded about the course of their relationship. From the first meeting in Family Outing she knew he was special. She had always been a fan of his music and admired his work ethic and fierce loyalty to those he cared about. Despite both being shy and awkward with strangers, they hit it off on Family Outing and thus Ji Hyo was excited at the prospect of meeting him again on Running Man. And the rest was history. They grew closer, too close to be “just friends”, toeing the line between friendship and more. What started as the occasional hanging out with friends turned to movie nights alone, to remembering how each other have their coffees. Getting close meant seeing both the good and the bad of each other. It led to arguments – ugly ones – to which they would quickly be resolved yet the ones that were caused by pure jealousy, it was jealousy in hindsight, were the ones where their stubbornness came through, neither party willing to apologise first. It would only eventually be sorted because the guilt would be overwhelming, the icy stares and the monosyllabic answers being too much.

Thinking back to the past few months since they became official as such, Ji Hyo had never been happier. She had been floating on cloud nine, smiles having never been wider, during every second of every day because she knew she was loved. Of course she had her family, friends and fans but this was different. She was at the centre of Jong Kook’s world and he was at the centre of hers and that knowledge was enough to keep her happy.

It was when she got home that she messaged Jong Kook, inviting him over for dinner the next day. She had offered to cook. He immediately accepted and said he’d bring the wine.

Jong Kook spent the entire day being a bag of nerves. Not having a schedule meant that he could try and write songs yet he gave up when his leg bouncing up and down out of anxiety became too incessant that he gave up trying to come up with any sort of melody. He tried the gym next, often a place he went to clear the thoughts in his head, yet quicky went back home when his arms started to shake at a mere 10kg. His anxiety mixed with excitement was too much and he ended up switching between watching UFC and football. He had thought about texting Ji Hyo and asking her if he could come over earlier but didn’t want to risk pushing her boundaries. After all he was still walking on thin ice.

Jong Kook made it a point to stop by the florists before arriving at Ji Hyo’s considering he needed to do everything and anything to try and apologise. Consciously or not he found himself outside the florist that he had used when picking up flowers for their first date. The bell chimed as he opened the door to enter the shop. It was quaint, wooden shelves adorned with small flowers as well as those hanging from the ceiling, teddy bears and cards.

“Hello! How can-? Oh it’s you again!” The same florist, the woman in her 50s, smiled as she recognised Jong Kook. She radiated the same warmth yet she frowned upon closer inspection of him. “Judging by the way you look my bouquet either didn’t work or it did work and you’re here months down the line to apologise.”

Jong Kook smiled sadly as he looked around the shop. “The latter.”

“Ahh, how bad?”

“A I-was-completely-oblivious-about-another-woman-liking-me-and-then-she-saw-that-woman-kiss-me bad.”

“In my thirty years of working as a florist that’s probably the worst.”

“Thanks.” Jong Kook winced. “The worst in 30 years?!” He squeaked.

“Yeah and you’ll probably need the biggest bouquet we have.” She advised as she began to collect various flowers.

“That’s fine.” Jong Kook sighed. “I screwed up really badly haven’t I?”

“Yes you have.” The woman put down her scissors as she took both of Jong Kook’s hands in hers before looking into his eyes. “But this won’t be the first time nor will it be your last. I’ve been married for too long and every argument is about how you talk it out no matter how bad they may get. It’s about using that time to apologise for the you said in the heat of the moment or the actions that you did and sorting through what you do mean. It’s about being sincere, not having a whole speech written out, and using that conversation to better understand each other.”

“Just seems hard.”

“And it should. From what you told me you probably broke her heart. But be sincere, be yourself and don’t come up with any excuses. Admit where you were wrong and go at her pace.”

“You make it sound so easy.” Jong Kook chuckled, wringing his hands together.

“Been married too long.” She chuckled. “But you wait here for a bit and I’ll make sure that your bouquet does a bit of the work.” She winked as she gestured Jong Kook to the seats behind him.

It was a mere half an hour when Jong Kook left the shop, a big bouquet in his arms, after the woman muttered a quick good luck as he made his way to Ji Hyo’s apartment. The roads were clear considering it was rush hour and the weather was lovely, prompting Jong Kook to ride with the windows down. He was hopeful at the very least, and he guessed it was better than the alternative feeling of no hope, after his chat with the old lady.

He ended up pushing the doorbell right on time (despite having arrived half an hour before), armed with a bouquet of flowers that he had managed to pick up along the way and, as promised, some wine. He figured that he needed to impress so consciously chose a dress shirt and a blazer jacket to pair with his jeans. Anyone who was close to him would think he was going to an important meeting or event and to him it was. It was a chance to fix a mistake that he had made. It was time to fight for the one constant in his life, someone who was everything to him.

It didn’t take long for Ji Hyo to open the door, she was pacing around the hallway out of nervousness, and when she did Jong Kook thought the Earth stood still. It felt like he had died and gone to heaven because she was positively glowing. She was dressed in nothing special – hair half tied with a few strands of hair out, a t shirt and some jogging bottoms – but to Jong Kook she was positively beautiful, breathtakingly so.

“Hi.” Was all he could muster and he was kicking himself. “Urm I brought you some flowers.” He ed the flowers into her hand and winced at his actions. Talk about trying his best to get onto Ji Hyo’s good side.

“Thank you.” The two looked at each other, unsure of what to say. Jong Kook was just overwhelmed at being given a chance whilst Ji Hyo didn’t know how to proceed.

“Ji Hyo – yah, I’m so-“

“Please don’t oppa. Let’s just have dinner first and then we’ll talk.” It came out as a whisper because she was scared. It was painful for Ji Hyo as well, wanting nothing more than to hug him yet the hurt was there and she knew that they needed to talk.

“Ok.”

They worked well together, Ji Hyo admitted, each having and understanding their own roles as Jong Kook set the table as she plated the food. It was simple, some chicken, potatoes and salad, yet it was more than enough for the two of them. They sat opposite each other as they started to tuck into their food, the sound of cutlery scraping plates and sips of wine being the only noise present. Neither of them knew what to say or even where to start with addressing the elephant in the room.

“So, urm, how have you been?” Jong Kook asked after clearing his throat before having a sip of wine.

“It’s been a tough couple of days.” She admitted finally meeting his eyes for the first time since he had arrived at her apartment. And in some ways he wished he hadn’t. He could see the remnants of dark circles beneath her eyes, a testament to her lack of sleep, as well as her face which seemed to have gotten smaller. He was kicking himself at the idea of her skipping meals because she was so hurt and sad that food wouldn’t go down. He had already wished that she ate more than she did anyway, let alone with the idea that she may not be eating at all or just minimally killed him. And it was all down to him. But more than that was the sadness. The overwhelming sadness in her eyes knocked him back and had him kicking himself. He had always been struck by how independent she was – not wanting special treatment from the men during filming and the insistence of doing things herself, only asking for help if she needed it. In an industry where a lot of females were used to people doing things for them, be it managers, staff or cast members, it was refreshing to see Ji Hyo be someone who wouldn’t allow people to do things for her. In fact, she would be the one to go out of her way to do things for others, something that Jong Kook greatly admired. And so, the idea that his actions made Ji Hyo cry and skip meals sickened him. He wasn’t meant to be the one to hurt her, he should have been the one to protect her, instead it was him that she needed protecting from.

“How about you?”

“Worse than you.” He echoed the same sentiment as he looked at her across the table. Ji Hyo found some comfort that he felt worse than she did.

“I’d hope so since you kissed another woman.” It had no malice, that was the first thing that Jong Kook noted, there was no hate or bite behind her words. As if she had accepted it.

Silence passed the two of them after that as Ji Hyo sighed. She didn‘t want to fight with him in anyway and it was equally hard on her as well yet the memory had already been imprinted in her mind forever.

“When’s your press conference for the drama?” Jong Kook asked, trying to elicit any sort of conversation that didn’t remind him of what he had done.

“Next month.”

“I see.”

“What about your music? Working on anything new?” Jong Kook felt like it was a positive start at the very least.

“Nothing much. I’m just jotting down ideas here and there.”

“What ideas did you jot down?”

“Love.” It was instant. And left a silence in the air as Ji Hyo gasped for some reason. She knew that he loved her, and she him, but amongst everything and where they stood – estranged with barely any words spoken – it was an affirmation.

“Oppa…”

“I know you said we’d talk properly after dinner but I just wanted you to know. I do love you. Heck I’m in love with you.” He humourlessly chuckled as he looked at her straight in the eyes. “I love everything about you – your wit, your humour, your personality and of course your body. I love the fact that your smile is the most radiant and your personality is that of an angel. I love every second that I spend with you because you make me insanely happy and you’re the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Ji Hyo – yah… I’m hopelessly and unapologetically in love with you.” He chuckled nervously as he watched Ji Hyo intently for any sort of reaction.

Ji Hyo on the other hand couldn’t breathe. Here was a man that she, by all accounts, should hate yet had just confessed and it would be a lie to say that her heart didn’t skip a beat.

“Of all the men in the world I didn’t think it’d be you that would hurt me.” It was a whisper that filled the room and Jong Kook felt his heart tear into two because he knew that she was right, to no-one’s surprise. He sighed as he got up, walking over and bending down next to her as he cupped her hands in his, making sure to keep his eyes on hers.

“I know and I didn’t think I would either. To say that I’ve let you, and myself, down is an understatement and I can’t apologise enough. I can explain everything if you let me but even so I shouldn’t have put myself in that position for you to witness that and I’m so sorry Ji Hyo – yah.” He sighed, taking one hand to brush a stray hair strand behind her ear. “Seeing you there was… I hated it. I knew what you saw and I can assure you it wasn’t that but everytime I close my eyes I see you. I saw the way you looked at me and the disappointment was soul crushing. I could take anything else – hate me, cry or scream at me… but the disappointment was the worst.” Jong Kook let a tear trickle down his face as he smiled sadly. 

“Oppa… I could never hate you but seeing you in the arms of another woman just took me back to the old days and when you were dating Soo Jin. What if us not getting together sooner makes sense? What if it was fate telling us that we aren’t to be?” Ji Hyo choked out and for Jong Kook it made sense. It wasn’t just that Ji Soo had kissed her, it was the fact that she felt that they didn’t deserve each other. That fate was cruel enough to use Ji Soo as a sign that they shouldn’t be together.

“Come here.” Jong Kook murmured as he pulled her towards the sofa, their dinner long forgotten. He sat opposite her, clasping her hands, as he sighed. “You are the only woman I want to be with because to me you’re the most beautiful woman that I know. You have an amazing personality – you’re incredibly kind and you truly think about those around you, from the people that you’re close with to the people that you work with including newer members of staff. You never hesitate to help others and you’re always putting others first. You may sleep a lot, almost unnaturally so, but that’s one of the things I love about you. You may lie down after eating and don’t get up for your workouts but I’ll be there to get you up because I’m never leaving you. Even if you tell me too I’ll fight that as well. What I’m trying to say is that you are the only one who understands me as a whole. You know what ticks me off and what doesn’t. You know how to keep me calm and console me when I’m upset or stressed and I’d like to think that I do to you as well. Even if someone comes along, which I don’t see happening, that is prettier or slimmer or more extroverted than you, I will never fall for them because everything I want and need? It’s you. It always has been even if we didn’t know it, or maybe we did and were just too stubborn, but we work Ji Hyo – yah.”

“Oppa…”

“No we do. You and I have always worked since we first met in Family Outing. Running Man just proved that we did. We may be different from each other on some things but aside from that we’re pretty similar. We’re both incredibly driven, stubborn and fiercely loyal. We both love and protect those closet to us and we both care immensely about our loved ones. We may disagree on the amount of exercise one should do or the intensity at which they do them but we’re complimentary Ji Hyo – yah. We work well together not because we’re similar or dissimilar but because we compliment each other.”

By now Ji Hyo couldn’t hold it anymore, tears falling down her face because it was true. Jong Kook always knew how she was feeling and more importantly knew what she needed. She remembered the times that Jong Kook would bring her coffee in the morning of a shoot if she had previously complained of feeling tired or the time that he had come over to hers with soup if she was ill. He had come armed with wine and food when she had been in an argument with her ex-boyfriend and equally had come with wine and discounted chocolates on Valentine’s Day when she had been complaining about being single years prior.

“Oppa?” It was a mere whisper that echoed in the room but Ji Hyo met his eyes and saw it. Saw how sincere he was, how much that he loved her.

“Yeah?”

“Hold me?”

“Always.” He whispered as Ji Hyo slinked into his arms as he breathed a sigh of relief. The past few days had been torture, for both, and it finally seemed that they were ok.

The couple stayed for a couple more minutes before Ji Hyo spoke.

“I never hated you.”

“Huh?”

“I never hated you. Disappointed yes but I could never hate you oppa. I think I always knew that you’d never do something to hurt me but I was just…”

“Angry?” He offered, a hint of a smile ghosting his lips.

“Yeah. Every time I closed my eyes I just saw you and…”

“I know.” Jong Kook sighed. “Do you want to know what happened?”

“Maybe another day. For now I just want to spend time with you again.”

“Sounds good. But you know I’d never intentionally hurt you right?”

“I know oppa. I trust you and I love you.”

“I love you too Ji Hyo – yah.” He kissed the top of her head as they readjusted themselves on the sofa.

“The food is probably cold by now.” Ji Hyo murmured. The food was left half untouched but neither had the appetite to finish what was left.

“Room for dessert?”

“Maybe.” She said sheepishly, a small smile coming out.

“I can pop out and get some cake if you want?”

“Want you to stay.” She whispered softly. Jong Kook nodded and pulled out his phone, making an order via delivery, as he gently laid his lips against her head softly. After ordering, Ji Hyo took the opportunity to clasp her hands with his making Jong Kook smile, perfectly happy to have ‘clingy Ji Hyo’.

The assortment of cakes came relatively quickly with Jong Kook making them a hot chocolate, with cream and marshmallows as a treat. Jong Kook chuckled as he watched Ji Hyo devour hers as they a random film.

Jong Kook left an hour after, both needing time to process what had happened, with the promise of meeting up tomorrow for a film date at Ji Hyo’s again. Ji Hyo agreed, shyly pressing her lips against Jong Kook’s cheek at the door, before waving at him out the window.

For the first time in seemingly forever, both of them had a good night’s sleep. Ji Hyo had been lying in bed for over half an hour now despite being fully awake, not being bothered to actually get out of bed when her phone chirped at a text.

Morning beautiful. Just your daily reminder to say that I love you. Have a good day and I’ll see you later. What do you want for dinner?

Morning handsome. I love you too! You too and I can’t wait to see you! Hmmm kimchi jjigae?

Could be worse health wise but sure. I’ll pick it up on the way.

Ji Hyo chuckled at his reply as she rolled her eyes. Trust him to say something about how healthy a dish is.

Since she had a day off, all Ji Hyo really wanted to do was sleep and eat… on repeat. But she supposed that she should be productive in some way so decided to clean the house – trivial and boring but needed to be done. She supposed it gave her some time to think about everything that was the rollercoaster of their relationship.

Ji Hyo had always been a relatively shy person, an introvert if you will, even since she was young. Social situations exerted too much energy often requiring two days after at home to rejuvenise. Filming in the early days of Running Man messed with her sleeping schedule tremendously, the early starts coupled with filming her dramas wreaking havoc on her in the form of headaches, loss of appetite and lack of sleep. It was obvious to those who knew her she supposed – she was an actress but hiding things from those closest to her was a problem – showing in her lack of energy, monotone voice and heavy eyelids that threatened to droop in the car. It was in hindsight – the beauty of it – that Ji Hyo realised that Jong Kook was the first to realise. He would bring the coffee, occasionally at first which then turned to every week when he knew that Ji Hyo was filming. It occasionally came with a sweet treat for her as well – normally in the form of a pastry although admittedly it was rare. Too many calories and all.

Funnily enough Jong Kook wasn’t the one who she had grown close to first. Initially it was Kwang Soo, the only fellow actor in the cast, that had taken Ji Hyo under his wing so to speak, even if it should have been the other way round. His extraverted nature meant that Ji Hyo felt less burdened on screen, especially when acting with guests, and she appreciated him “acting out” leading to her infamous “Angry Ji Hyo” character that came out and credited him with that nickname. It wasn’t until around two years later for Ji Hyo to feel some sort of comfort and less awkward with Jong Kook. Jong Kook, somewhat of a veteran in the entertainment industry, exuded confidence in what he did. He wasn’t cocky, except when it came to physical strength, yet he had the confidence and mindset to challenge anything he wanted to and wasn’t afraid of failing. To say that Ji Hyo wasn’t somewhat intimated by him was a lie and she definitely felt that he was the hardest and longest member to get close to. With Jae Suk and Suk Jin, the relationship was natural. Despite the teasing and bickering, it was an easy relationship that was formed. Protective at times yes but Ji Hyo had to acknowledge that they only had her best interests at heart. Two veterans in the entertainment helped her grow in confidence knowing that they were there to help and answer any questions that she had.

Interestingly, the supposed love triangle involving her and Ha Ha bought the two close together. Missing out on the get togethers after work, because of her being so shy, should have meant that the distance between them should have got bigger yet him being so insistent in wanting to get to know her eventually broke her walls down. The friendliness that she thought was too much, too overbearing at first, was eventually understood to be his caring nature, the nature of the older brother. They bickered for sure, and he would annoy her countless times by betraying her in games, but she knew that he always had her back. He was the first one to message her when she was forced to take a day off filming because she was ill in the early days of Running Man. He had been the one to send treats to her filming sites when she filmed dramas that were particularly long or had gruelling hours.

It was an hour later when Ji Hyo spoke, curiosity getting to the better of her. “Oppa?”

“Mmm?” Jong Kook replied with his mouth full with cake. He didn’t eat it often but he admitted that it was delicious.

“What happened with that girl?” Jong Kook stopped chewing, him being taken aback, as he sighed.

“Are you sure?”

“I want to know what happened oppa.”

“Ji Soo is her name. She started working as a backup dancer for me as part of the company that we contracted. She’s doing her masters to work as a dance teacher in the future and she comes from a rough family background. Her dad walked out when she was younger and so it’s just her looking after her mum and younger sister. Her mum got into an accident not so long ago so she joined the company for some extra money to pay for her mum’s medical and physiotherapy bills. She’s a really nice girl… just has a lot on her plate I guess.” He looked at Ji Hyo and sighed, relieved that she nodded for him to continue. “I don’t know when she started liking me but I never have been good with that.” He chuckled humourlessly. “In hindsight I should have seen the signs… The dinners, dance practices, always being there to give me water… the way she got happy if I paid her attention.” Jong Kook sighed shaking his head. “I thought that we just got along you know? And I felt sorry for her that she had to deal with so much from a young age as well so I thought that I could be a friendly face and look out for her.” He took a sip of hot chocolate before continuing. “although, I suppose I knew on an unconscious level. I would lie to you that I was busy.” Jong Kook whispered, shame filling him as Ji Hyo’s head snapped up at the admission. “The night you found us… I was on my way to you I swear. I had a shower and everything! After the shower I saw I had 5 missed calls so I called her. She said that she had been rehearsing and fell but couldn’t really move so I went over. I swear I was only going to make sure she could go back home ok and then come to yours. But I went and she had prepared a romantic dinner with candles and roses and all that. She went on about how she liked me but I was so angry. She lied to me and when I told her that I didn’t like her like that or that she wasn’t my type she kept going on about how we would be good together.” Jong Kook rambled, remembering how angry he got. Ji Hyo saw and held his hands together as she silently waited for him to continue. “I just got so angry Ji Hyo – yah. The fact that she had lied to me about being her hurt angered me so much and the face that she kept going on about how we would be a good match. So I told her I had a girlfriend, I didn’t mention your name of course, but I told her that I loved you and that I would never break up with you to be with her. I may have raised my voice but I was adamant Ji Hyo – yah. I wanted her to know that I was never going to see her like that so I told her and tried to leave. Then she just grabbed my wrist and kissed me.”

Silence. Nothing filled the room as Jong Kook looked up at Ji Hyo, trying to see where her mind was. He could see the cogs turning, trying to make sense of what he had told her, and he swore that he had never felt so nervous in his life.

She whispered after a few minutes. “Why do you have to be so kind?” She smiled sadly as she looked at him, the man she loved for his kindness, his caring nature and his loyalty.

“I-“

“I don’t blame you for what happened. I thought I did but I don’t. How can I when all you were doing was trying to be kind and helpful? That’s one of the things I fell in love with.” She started to his hands. “I love you Kim Jong Kook but I can’t ever forgive you again if this happens.” Ji Hyo started crying as Jong Kook caught it, understanding her.
“It won’t. To say I’ve learnt my lesson is an understatement.” He muttered.

“And you won’t work with her again?”

“No. Never. I swear this is the last time I’ll see her.”

“Ok.” She whispered as they cuddled. “And please oppa… Don’t lie to me. If you need to reschedule then just tell me.”

“I promise.” He kissed her forehead as they reclined on the sofa. “I am sorry.”

“I know. Love you Sparta.”

“Love you too beautiful.” He replied, smiling knowing that they’d be ok. He knew that they still had to talk, clear some things up, but they were ok. For now he was where he belonged. With his girlfriend.

-------------

Word Count – 5179

Hello amazing people! I keep seeming to apologise for chapters being posted so ridiculously late. 90% of it is genuinely just life – work, study, getting ill and generally just being tired and the other 10% is me having poor time management. I have plans for 2 more chapters until the end of the story and then will probably take a bit of a break to recuperate.
I hope everyone is staying safe and well and be careful with COVID and the winter!