-I can't-

We work our way through the club, find the place we were searching for, the spot for more distinguished guests. Yes, sounds haughty and pompous, but it’s necessary sometimes, even in a VIP club like this one. Though no one is really here… just the general VIP entries that get in.

Shin Hye leaves me to go get some drinks for us so I try sitting. Even though I’ve had an emotionally draining day, I feel my energy growing the longer I am sitting in the bustling club. Who the hell sits down at a club…

I stand and move into the crowd, dancing and singing along when there are words. Everything is bright then dark and loud then too loud. I grin, spinning and moving around with all these random people, letting myself feel the atmosphere and let loose.

“Hey dancing queen, get over here!”

Hearing her voice, I search for my bestie, spotting her close to the bar, holding two yummy looking drinks. Without hesitation, I shove through the drunken dancers and latch onto it.

“Thanks.” I down a few long gulps. ‘Is this straw really small?’ I eye the straw and frown. I think I am just drunk already. This is a normal straw, right…

“Listen, Tae. I think you should just forget about all the things that’s happened in the past two days and have fun tonight. Okay… Let go and do whatever it is that you wanna, girl.” Shin Hye holds my shoulders and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Just do it, Babe.” She smiles and picks her drink back up. “Just like I AM!” She calls and downs the drink in one go, ignoring the straw and slurping at the glass. A few people surrounding us call out and cheer her on, fists pumping and drinks up.

I laugh when she comes back for air and laughs at herself. She calls out and the people call back again. Before she draws more attention on us, I pull her into the dancefloor. We might be at a VIP club, but I don’t see any other people from our world. Best to lay low.

“Come dance, Shin Hye!” I pull her out and dance around her. “Dance, Dance!”

We dance for a while, jamming out when a remixed song we love comes on and laying on the moves when something wild plays. We manage to keep the drinks flowing, too.

Shin Hye suddenly says something about the toilets and bails, disappearing into the crowd before I can go with her. She definitely had a phone in her hands and It doesn’t seem too unlikely that she is messaging a certain someone she has been crying over lately.

In my drunken state, I decide to leave her. She will come to me when she wants help. That's fine. So, I keep dancing. A few…actually lots…of guys have tried their shot at me, dancing close, or giving me eyes. But even though I am single, drunk and a little sad, I give them the flick. I came here to have fun, not to hook up. That’s what I’m going to do.

Though then a hand snakes around my waist. Frowning, I grip it and spin out of the man’s grip, ready to give him a piece of my alcohol affected mind. That was up until I saw Baekhyun standing there.

“Hey.”

I feel some emotions rising, something weird. Like a mix of sadness and over joy. Even I don’t know what I am about to do as I jump forward and latch onto him.

Baekhyun laughs weirdly and holds on instantly. “Oh, hey…” He grins and even though I’ve had quite a few drinks in the past few hours, I can still tell something is different with him.

“You’re drunk!” I call out and he laughs. “I’m never seen you drunk, Baekhunnie!”

“Baekhyunnie?” He repeats then snorts out a laugh. “I think you’re drunk, too…”

“Why are you here?”

“I might have heard you were here…” His shifts his arms, reminding me that he is still holding me to him. Tightly.

I look down, feeling like my drunken state will heighten my red cheeks from his words. “You came here for me?” ‘Why did I say that? Laying it on a little thick, right?’

“I did…” He pulls away and looks me over. I feel like his gaze is burning my where it meets, sending me crazy while he doesn’t meet my eyes. “You look insane…” He grins, showing his canines. I swear I just whimpered a little. What the hell is wrong with me... “I think I need another drink if I’m going to be dancing with you looking like that…”

“Who said you were gonna dance with me?” I try for teasing and he grins darkly.

“I did.” He shoots back, grabbing my hand and pulls me along with him. “Though you, missy, are having water.”

“I don’t want water.” I pout, following him with a dampened mood. “I want another drink.”

“Sure, A drink of water.” He stops at the bar, pulling me along to stand by him. “One Rum and coke and a water, please.”

“Water that taste like vodka, lime and soda, please.”

Baekhyun covers my mouth and comes close, smiling. “Water.”

I nod and notice the barman eyeing Baekhyun. I shake Baekhyun off and turn to the barman. “My friend is the best. He is trying to look after me…even though I don’t need water yet.” I wink at the man and he smiles. I see the weird tension Baekhyuns mouth covering act gave him disappear after I mention we are friends.

“Here you are, darlin’.” The barman gives me my water and drops a lime wedge in it. “That's the closest I can get it to taste like it.” He winks back. “Next time cover him mouth and order, yeah?” He jokes and give Baekhyun his drink. “Here you go, Baekhyun-Ah.”

I freeze and Baekhyun has to pull us away from the bar. I follow silently and drink my water. The lime tastes good…the water feels good on my throat.

“You know him?”

“I come here sometimes. With friends.” He grins as we choose a spot to drink. “He’s a friend.”

“Then why did he look at you weird when you held my mouth?” I cover my own mouth and Baekhyun laughs.

“Because I haven’t been in for a while and I am usually with guys…never girls.”

I snort out a laugh, my dizzy brain hearing that weirdly. “You’re with guys?” I snort and laugh, drinking more water. “Only guys...” I watch him put the drink down, grinning at my stupidity. I know I should stop, but I can’t. “…does that mean you…” I move closer, my hand finding his. “…you only danced with guys…” I start dancing. “…wanna dance with me…?” I laugh and he moves closer, his hands now on my sides. “…So if you have only been with guys…that means you haven’t hugged a girl.” Stupid. He has even hugged me. I also know that he has had girlfriends. But… Here I am, talking drunken to him.

He grins as I hug him. I try not to giggle when I turn my head to him and whisper. “And that means you haven’t kissed a girl.” My lips are almost touching his ear.

His hands stop their slow movements on my hips, his breathing stops and I get a hit of sober thoughts.

That was too far. What was I going to do, kiss him in public?

Baekhyun pulls back and turns his face to mine. He doesn’t say a word before leaning so close that I feel him breath on my lips. I know I should move away, I should move and explain that we can’t do this. Ever.

I should.

But I don’t. I close that few millimetre gap and kiss him. Baekhyun moves instantly and brings me so close my ribs shift under his arms. I feel his hand move to the back of my neck as he moves his lips, his tongue darting out to run along my bottom lip.

As if he was asking for entry, I gave it to him and opened my mouth to meet his tongue with mine, deepening the kiss. If I thought I was lightheaded before, I was crazy. This is lightheaded. When his hands run over you and his mouth dancing with yours…this is what gives you a light head and a speeding heart.

He pulls away and looks into my eyes, his mouth turning into a soft smile as he pants. “Taehee…” he kisses me once more. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long now…” He kisses me again. “You…are so beautiful.” He pulls me in for kiss so much more intense, I start curling my toes.

I don’t know how long we were kissing and touching for, but it felt like an hour and also like two seconds before someone wolf whistles as us. I open my eyes to see lights flashing and before my brain can recognise them as the clubs lights pulsing around us, my thoughts go straight to cameras. ‘They’re taking photos! People are going to see! They will put it out and a scandal will come out of it!’

With panic running through my excited body, I shove Baekhyun away and rush out an apology. I don’t know if he hear me or if he was going to say anything back. All I know is that I won’t soon forget the hurt in his face when I shake my head and turn away, running through the crowd as best I can with drunken coordination and the tightly packed clubbers. 

Within seconds of kissing Baekhyun, I am outside and shaking. I rush with trembling hands, and tears falling for who know how many reasons, to call Jin Ho. He was asleep but he is coming to get me. Luckily.

Instead of going to mine, I camp out at his because it’s closer and he looks too tired to drive further. I dragged him out of bed, I don’t need to make him drive the extra 20 minutes to my place.

Jin Ho insists on letting me take his bed while he sleeps on the couch, but when I start crying he agrees to stay with me. But he opts for the floor and not to share. He also tells me I have to explain it to his girlfriend –that I didn’t even know existed- why I am in his bed and he is even in the room if she were to come over or find out. To shut him up, I agree.

It takes Jin Ho minutes to fall asleep. Me on the other hand am too busy staring at the thousands of texts pouring in. Most from Shin Hye, but a good few from Baekhyun.

I shake my head and send him a simple. ‘I can’t.’ It’s not the best and it doesn't answer or apply to the text he is sending, but I know he will understand the meaning all the same. I can’t do that too him. I can’t bring him into a scandal. People are already questioning it, according to that magazine interviewer.

I check on Jin Ho by leaning over the bed and almost falling on top of him. Not that would be hard to explain if his alleged girlfriend walked in. He is fast asleep, snoring lightly, even. I know he is my manager, a new one at that and it’s not part of his job to listen to my barely-there romance problems…but I would love sometime to talk to right now. Even if it’s only for a few minutes…

Deciding that waking him for a second time would be pushing it, I start dialling Shin Hye’s number, hoping I won’t be in too much with her for bailing tonight.

Unsurprising, I am met with a worried and pissed off voice. “What the ! Why did you bail?!”

I sob into the phone, disappointed in myself that I didn’t even take a few seconds before I start to cry to her. I think other than my emotions, the alcohol is a big part of why I am not handling this very well. “Baekhyun…”

“Oh, no…Taehee…”

I sniffle and close my eyes, feeling hot tears roll down my face. “…We…I kissed him. He was so…” I sob again. “I can’t do that to him...I can’t bring him into a scandal and bring his group into one. That sort of thing can ruin people...” I cover my mouth when a big lot of sobs run through me. Remembering what I had to go through and what it put Kim Bum through too. And worse, what happened with the break up. I don’t want that to happen to Baekhyun. “I don’t want to hurt him, Shin Hye…”

“My young friend, you don’t know how much this is hurting him too, do you?” She sighs. “We all have to hide things like this from the public, honey…” Shin Hye laughs sadly. “I’ve been hiding relationships all my career. Not that there were that many, but my point is, people need to start dating…even if they have to hide it at first.”

I shake my head, my eyes rolling around after I stop. The alcohol is still very much present. “I don’t want to hurt him and his friends.”

Shin Hye laughs softly. “You won’t. No one needs to know for a while. You can be careful. You obviously like him, Taehee-Ya.”

“I can’t…”

“You can. And you do. Please…don’t close the door on him…it’s just going to hurt you…”

I shake my head. “I can’t…” This is bigger than my feelings for him…and that he had one night of drunken kisses. This can ruin his career, for good or just for a while. Either way, it’s not something I want to bring down on him. What would the company say! They wouldn’t let it happen… Not again. Baekhyun has dated in the company publicly before…it still gets talked about…theories and judgments still being made against the two.

“Listen…I’m actually not home tonight…but I can come see you tomorrow maybe. You don’t have any schedule, right?”

“No…not until Monday.”

“Ah, your photoshoot for the drama, right?” Shin Hye sighs into the phone. “Okay, If I don’t see you tomorrow, I’ll be in to see you for that. Text me the place and time. Get some sleep, alright. Stop stressing and let it happen. You need to be happy, too you know.”

I nod at her, knowing she can’t see me but not caring in my state. “Night, Shin Hye-Ah.”

“Sleep well, Taehee.” She hangs up and I feel a lot colder all of a sudden. So cold that, in my drunken state, I think that maybe crawling down next to my manager would be a good idea, for the warmth and human contact to soothe my emotional pains along with my chills.

Lucky for everyone, I decide that the blankets are enough and I can get some hugs next time I see Shin Hye. Rolling over and pulling the blankets high, I fall into a shallow and broken sleep, full of nervous twitches and weird images of Baekhyun and Kim Bum floating around in my head. 

^{A/N
I just wanted to say that I"m not 100% happy with
this chapter myself. I tried rewriting it but still found it to be
to be lacking. I hope it's enough to entertain you and at least 
try to live up to something you were hoping for~}

<sup>I'm thinking I should try to write ealier in the day and not 
between the hours of 11pm and 3am...?

As always, Thank you for reqesting and thank you so much for reading~! <3
xxxx</sup>