Seokmin looked outside the window, at his backyard that all turned white. It looks cold and sad – just like what he feels now. He already finished all the things he must do, and now that no activities left to do, he could only sat on window’s edge and let out a deep sigh.

The cancelled meeting with Yuna made him feels sad since early morning and the phone call with Soonyoung earlier make him even sadder. He asked Soonyoung to come over to do anime-marathon again, but the older boy said sorry to him because he had to go with his father to prepare a birthday surprise for his mother. Seokmin was about to offer some help, but then he realizes he’ll only be an intruder there. So he only wished Soonyoung’s mother an early birthday’s congratulatory. 

Seokmin sighed and realizes at how envy he is towards Soonyoung. He wished that he could throw a birthday party for her father or her mother, but they’re already gone. One is gone for real, the other one choose to disappear.

He suddenly missed his father so much, that it pained him and almost made him cry. A place comes to his mind at that moment, and he realized that he hasn’t go to there for quite long time. He smiles as he recalled that he used to go there whenever he faces some difficulties or his heart feel uneasy. He also won’t mind to admit that he frequently went there back then just in case Yuna also went there – he hoped he could greet her and introduce his self as the boy who she ever consoled. 

He grabbed his coat, scarf and gloves and wrote a note informing that he’ll go outside for a walk just in case his grandmother wake up and looking for him. On the way to that place – which is ice-skating ring that not too far away from his home – he recalled all the memories he had with his father. He hates how bad he is at memorizing it, because he couldn’t quite recall what was just happened between him and his father and it frustrated him.

The next memories popped up in his head what his first meeting with Yuna. He almost sure that Yuna doesn’t  recognize him as the boy who she comforted years ago, when he cried alone at the ice-skating ring park during days when his father just deceased. Seokmin always wanted to tell her, but he didn’t find the right timing yet. Seokmin always wanted to tell her how much she means to him – but he keeps postponing it.

Seokmin chuckled when he remembers how hard he was studying to get into the same school as Yuna. He remembers how hard it was for him to approach Yuna and merely greet her when they’re finally in one school – and moreover, in one class – since she is famous and he’s nothing at all. He was also afraid at the thought that Yuna probably forget him, he was afraid that he wasn’t that important to exist in her memories when he told her that he was ‘that boy’. Seokmin almost give up on approaching her since Yuna only attend school one or two days in a week. He could only watching her from a far, but he already so happy and grateful that he could watching her at least only separated by some seat. All this time, he used to watch her from screen – watch every single perfomances she had.

He’s surely a big fan of her. He realizes that he has been watching her since that day she patted his shoulder, and it was amusing to see her grow up and shining so brightly and beautifully – just like she promised to him back then.

His memories now back to when Yuna got into accident and he was shaking so bad. He skipped his class although he had exam that day, ran like crazy to hospital. There too many reporters around her room that he barely got to see her, but after several days passed the reporters are completely gone. He remembers that he come every day, and one day, at that rainy night, he finally able to see her secretly. 

He remembers how bad he cried, he remembers at how bad he want to help her but he just helpless. He remembers how Yuna was lying helplessly, unconscious for already a week and there was no signal of her waking up. He came every day to hospital after class, hoping that he would see her wake up. He prays hard every single day, and his prayer answered one day.

He was crying gratefully seeing she woke up again, yet he hates himself for not able to do anything for her. He couldn’t even approach her. Once again, he could only watch her from a far.

When the news that she’ll back to school after her therapy ended, he could feel any happier. He promised to himself that he will help her no matter difficulties she came through. And he glad he able to do it. No words could express his happiness when he could finally befriend with Yuna, able to make her smile, able to help her, able to see her almost every day.

So, he hate holiday – for the very first time in forever – because he couldn’t see her 5 days in a week any longer.

Seokmin finally reached the destination, and his steps stopped as soon as he entered the entrance. He couldn’t believe his own eyes, that he just saw Yuna, that he finally meets her here after he came here dozens of times.

His heart throbbed as soon as he realized that she was crying, alone. He walked closer to her, automatically took off his scarf and wearing it to her. She looks surprised, but he just continued took off his coat, also his gloves, and wearing to her.  After he finished, he couldn’t help but sighed. “Look, you can cry here in the night when the snow is falling heavily, but can you at least put thick jacket or coat, use gloves and scarf, also a beanie or something? You can cry, but can’t die freezing.”

“Why are you here?” her weary voice make just his heart aches.

“Because of you.” He replied. She only looked at him with her puffy eyes, confused.  

“It’s okay, don’t mind me. I’ll just sit here and you can continue crying, deal?” Seokmin sat beside her. Wondering what make her cry, and in what way he could help her. After minutes of thinking hard, Seokmin finally decide that maybe, this is the right time to finally let her know. He just hoped that if he told her the true him, she would let him know the struggle she has.

“If you didn’t want to share your story yet,” Seokmin finally spoke, “Do you mind listening mind first?” 

**

They walk side by side in silence, not an awkward one but a comforting one. Seokmin didn’t bother to say anything, he’s way too happy that he could finally able to see her after days of missing her and could finally tell her that he is no other than the crying-boy. His happiness doubled as not only Yuna remember him, but she also thankful for him. 

And he couldn’t get any happier that their linked hands are still linked since Seokmin hold it earlier.

Yuna let him hold her hand, she couldn’t deny that it somehow make her feel secured and warm, something that she badly need right now. She almost disappointed when they finally reached her home, because she has to drift away from him and faced her messy life alone.

“Go and sleep. Make sure to drink something warm before go to bed, okay?”

Yuna nodded. But their hands still linked and neither one of them released it. 

Seokmin smiled at her, messed her hair with his another free hand. “Cheer up, Yuna. You can do this. Remember that you already through bad, worse and even worst thing. You can pass this one too. I got your back. Just call me whenever you need me, promise?” 

She returned the smile and her heart feel warm. Although she actually doesn’t want it, she finally broke their linked hands, took off his scarf, coat and gloves and wearing it back to him. “Go back now. It’s already too late.” Yuna softly murmured, when she was wearing the scarf to him and tiptoed. Seokmin could hear his own heartbeat sounds way too loud when her breath brushed his cheeks. 

“Thanks for all, really. You’re helping me a lot more than you acknowledge. Now go, I’ll come in when you disappear.” Yuna said, after finished. 

“You go first. I’ll go when you come in.” Seokmin turned.

Yuna chuckled. “Okay, since you’re helping me a lot today, I’ll let you win.” Yuna took a step backward slowly, while still facing him. She’s waving her hands, and when she finally entered the gate, she turned back and walk inside her home.

Seokmin look at her bedroom that light still hasn’t turned off. He sighed and prayed in his heart, that she will passed this and find her happiness she truly deserves.

But neither Seokmin nor Yuna knows what kind of fate that waits ahead of them.
 

okay i just cried while writing this my seokju heart is absolutely in pain kajshags and moreover i wrote it while listening to super heartbreaking songs (aka gd's untittled on loop, lala land's ost, winner's coloring, t-ara's lies ballad ver, jiyeon's little by little, iu's dear name, kim yeohee's feeling sad - ah all songs listed are highly recommended!) 

as usual, thank you so much for those who still dropping comments and show support for this story! since it's going to end soon (i hope kjashja) i'm planning to make another seokju/kyeomju fic! This one is fantasy themed, with slight angst and such(?) but honestly it's still not well planned and i'm still hesitating. should i just make a fluff chaptered eungyu story or socoups? or soonrin? please help me to decide! hehehee thanks xoxo