Ryosuke entered his classroom lighthearted, earnestly looking forward to the festival he hasnt attended for a long time. He is glad he finally has got the chance to, very much thanks to his new friend. He feels like a kid, getting all excited and perked up for the festive.

An aura lingers as he stepped into the classroom he thought will be empty. He glanced at the clock in the classroom showing almost 20 minutes before class, but there was already 6 students present. They were strangely standing around his seat, staring at him with unwavering glare.

"Ohayou gozaimasu, yamada ryosuke-kun.." Kento led the greetings. Then added, "or should I say liar."

"Heh?"

"Do you think by hiding the truth, your secret will be safe and you can be like one of us?! Dream on, Yamada-kun. The fact you lied about yourself is the worst."

"I didnt!" Ryosuke became defensive.

"Really?! Then Mirai should know about what you did in the past right? Like how you totally ruined the girls you came across with and almost hit on sensei as well?!"

"I didnt!!! I did not do anything to them!"

"Oh really? It's no point denying Yamada. You dont even admit it until today, showing zero remorse to the hurt you caused them. Being tainted by a psychopath is the worst for them!" Kento alleged.

"I said I did not!!!" Ryosuke lost his cool, and on the verge of punching Kento but the other guys grabbed whole of both sides of him, restraining him.

"If you really did not, then why would your own father send you to the mental institute. The doctors there cant be maligning you right? Or do you want to claim that made a incorrect diagnosis?! Seriously, Yamada, snap out of your delusions. You are not healthy and you shouldnt be going around harming people."

"Im not sick... There's nothing wrong with me anymore... " Ryosuke said in a much less assertive tone, akin to agreeing.

"You need evidence, dont you... Let me prove that you are not anywhere near healthy and you never will." 

"NOOO!!!! Let go!!!" Two guys grabbed his bag from his tight grip then ripped open to find a bottle of white tablets. It was half-filled. 

"You still depend on them to keep your sanity right? Normal people wont need this, Yamada..." 

"Give it back~" Ryosuke's voice cracked, with tears welling in his eyes. 

"You should just stay away from others, like how you have done so far. If you care for those people who care for you, then please stay away from them in case you hurt them. Dont scare them. Your illness can never heal, regardless how hard you try. It stays with you forever. We're sorry about your illness, but you only have your parents to blame for giving birth to you with such mental incapacity. Dont live in denial and eventually lead such a pathetic life where people fear you. Living in solidarity is the best for you and for others..."

Ryosuke kneeled on the ground, showing a face of hopelessness, with tears rolling off his eyes. The sound from the door shifted everyone's attention, and that instance, Ryosuke saw the one person she never hope to see him in this state. His eyes met hers and he saw her tears from her bleeding heart stabbed by his betrayal and his lies. "Mirai..." He cried out as she ran off. The guys didnt allow him to get out of the class, tripping him. He fell to the ground and never got up.

"Ryosuke... You have to understand that you need to depend on this medicine your whole life. There's no control over when you will lose your sanity and start hurting girls again. You can never completely cleanse yourself from the filth or ensure you can control your infatuations. Please, stay away from Mirai... It's for her good."

One of the guy poured the tablets on the ground and crushed them under his feet. Kento didnt seem pleased with the guy's behaviour. He looked at Ryosuke with sympathetic eyes, then softly uttered "sorry...," before walking away with the clique.

The classroom went dead silence, like the horizon after the storm, except the horizon never came. He couldnt muster his courage to even stand up on his feet, after having his little leftover pride of a man being crushed to bits. He sees the happiness he thought he finally gotten, slipped away simply just as fast as it came knocking at his door. He cannot forget the hateful eyes from her after she heard the truth he kept away. He knew many apologies wouldnt salvage anything by now.

He wiped his tears forcefully while picking up those crushed tablets, stuffing them into his mouth one after another. He choked on some but nonetheless continued to stuff them all in. He hears voices echoing in his ears, the voice of a woman, repeatedly saying, "She is not gonna be your friend... She will not go to the festival with you... No one will ever be your friend, because you are a psychopath."

"Shut up! Shut up!!!!!!!!ahhhhhhhh!" Ryosuke shouted then threw the chair towards the windows, shattering the glass. He cupped his ears, crouching as if in pain.

"Ryosuke... Ryosuke, you are hurt" Yuriko sensei dashed in and saw the windows broken and his hands bruised by the very furnitures he threw. But it was his signs of massive headache that worries her most, as he clamped his head, hitting them with his palms so hard, his forehead was turning red. She held his hands, trying to stop him from inflicting anymore injury to himself. "Ryosuke, stop doing that. You're gonna hurt yourself..."

"Go away!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Ryosuke pushed Yuriko away, and she knocked onto another table. As he was about to escape from the classroom, he turned to make sure she was okay. She was pleased but that moment did not last. His expression went back to hysteria. "It's all your fault!!" He shouted then he ran off so fast, he not only knocked into some of his classmates who are slowly making their way in. Yuriko sensei chased from behind but he was simply too fast to catch. 

Ryosuke ran with all his might, hoping that all the unhappiness will past like the wind. He seems to not know what fatigue means, or what breathing means. It is like none of that matters. Reaching his house in 15minutes, way shorter than his usual 1hour. He collapsed on the ground of his simple house and stared blankly at the celling. There is no expression on his face, whats left is only the remaining fragments of tears that rolled from the corner of his eyes. He clenched his fist as if determined, then withdrew out handphone and texted.

"Mirai... Please give me a chance to explain... I'll meet you at the shrine, at 8pm, just like you arranged. I'll wait for you until you come."

He sent the message, while continuously saying to himself "she'll come. She'll come." Yet the voices in his head continued to torment with words of denial. He lifted himself from the ground, totally masking all his agony and despair, and feign a smile so bitter. He changed to a set of clean clothes than washed his wounds before heading out to the meeting place. He did so well to put on a false front that there was not a trace of the drama from the morning. He stood there with anticipation of a guy waiting patiently for a girl, the excitement of a first time spending with a true friend. He was way before time, standing at the top of a flight of stairs that lead to the holy shrine. Girls downed in kimono, with hands tightly entwined with their male partners or in groups, paced in to the shrine and left with charms of well wishes and faces full of happiness. Gradually, the shrine goers reduced as the night went dark and the festival ahead turned vibrant. He took a hesitant look at his watch and saw it's 7.30pm. 3 hours, he did not feel any aching legs, instead he could feel his fear growing as much as the burning sensation in his stomach, leaving a feeling of nausea and discomfort. He clenched his stomach to distract from the pain while he continued to wait.

Once the first wave of fireworks lighted the night sky like a billion falling stars, his hope becomes bleak. By the second wave, he knew he have his answer. "She will not come... Ryosuke, she regrets being your friend" the voice echoed in his mind again. He pounded on his head and told himself to wait, just as he had promised. The sky illuminated by colours were beautiful but to him, they were hurtful. Every thunderous explosion of the beautiful of glitter were like drums beating right in his heart and in his eardrums. He cupped his ears and eventually shut his eyes. Only when he felt the drops of water splashed on his face, he realised that the a heavy rain has descended. Everyone in his view were taking shelter, except him. In a matter of a minute, the bustling street is left with only one person, standing in the merciless downpour. Hours after hours, he stood in the rain until the sky clears. He is left with darkness. He dragged his cold feet back home. He was drenched to his skin, and there is simply no part of him which is dried.

"She will come, she will come..." He repeats. The pain in his stomach caused him to throw up. He collapsed beside the basin, with his body crouching up, and gradually suffer from spasms. Still he never stop mumbling that line. His limbs were cold as ice, his fist clenched as he couldnt stop his spasms. As his vision eventually turned blur, he saw the figure of the woman who spoke in his mind... Before he finally passed out, he felt her firm hands grabbing onto him and lifting him up onto his bed. Lying on his back, he smells her familiar scent, and calls out to her in a state of despondent... "Okasan"
 
****

"Mirai! Where have you been? I went everywhere to look for you! Goodness, you are drenched..." Daiki saw the wet Mirai standing in front of the door with a dull face. He is unable to tell from her face if there were tears, but he knows there's probably more tears than the rain. 

"Did you see him? Did you ask him about it?" Daiki followed Mirai indoors. She walked like a zombie, scaring Daiki that Mirai cannot handle the emotions.

I took awhile until Mirai answered coldly, "i saw him. He stood there... Waited all the way..."

"So did you ask him?"

"Im the only one who dont know, is it?" She turned to him with hatred in her eyes. Daiki was startled by her question. She didnt seem interested in his answers, very much because she already knows what he is gonna say.

"Mirai...." Daiki called out to him, reaching out his hands to grab her, but she pushed it away with words as emotionless as ice "im tired... Goodnight niichan" and she shut her room door behind him. He had rather she cry, or bite him like a spoiled brat when she was young. Now, he could only watch her as she bottles all her feelings to herself, unwilling to show any part of it. He recalled how she used to share all her secrets with him, but now, she is shuts herself out even to her own brother. He doesnt want to be a stranger to her, but there's nothing he can do. He let her down. "Sorry Mirai... I failed to be there for you" he said to the shut door. 

When the next morning came, Daiki was surprised by the quietness in the air. It's so still, he felt something amiss. He went to Mirai's room and saw her room empty. It's not the usual neatness but rather, essential things are missing, like her luggage that she places at the top of her wardrobe. It didnt take him long to notice a piece of note. He anxiously took it up and read urgently.

"Sorry I left in a rush. I am going back Kyoto and will only be back in a few days. I need time alone to rethink about things. 
Mirai~"

The note was coldly worded. He could imagine her saying it to him bluntly. He knows she is angry with him for withholding information. He didn't even dream that things will escalate out of proportion especially when he remembered himself specifically instructing Kento and the rest to let him talk to Mirai first. Yet he figured they went ahead with the ruthless plan of disclosure that would most certainly break her heart. To get her to witness the revelation of a lie from the liar himself is the worst plan. Daiki clenched his fist as he hated himself for allowing things to happen the way it did. He called the school to inform of her leave of absence, but realised she has tended to this part too. Daiki felt even more useless at this point. He called his parents to inform them, and told them what has happened. It's the last thing he could do, and he trusts that his parents will do a much better job healing her than him.

***
Mirai travelled on then shinkansen then transferred to the local train. The journey took almost 5 hours, and by the time she reached, it's beginning to turn dark. But she appreciated that long time alone, giving her all the time to think about what has happened in the twisted day. She is exhausted yet she cant fall asleep, because every moment she shuts her eyes, she saw the glare from his eyes and her thoughts will go wild about which part of him is factual and which is fiction.  She tried to think that none of it matters as long as he has been nice thus far, she failed to look beyond his lies. He had warned her, about not befriending him, she did not heed. She cant help but consider it was her stubbornness after all and she really has no one else to blame. She asked herself why she feels so hurt even though she made the choice after all. It's exactly the same reason, she felt sadder than ever.

She saw 2 figures standing at the end of a long street where a semi-detached apartment sits. She can recognise them albeit it's just their silhouettes they see. She took deep breathes as she headed for them. Rather than excited, she was hesitant that she cannot hide her emotions well. The last thing she wants to do is to worry them.

"Mirai... Welcome back" a middle-aged demure woman dressed in white, pulled her in for an embrace. Instantly, she felt the warmth that dotes her so much that everything she tried to hold back, instantly released. Tears rolled down her eyes like a stream as she leaned on her mother's shoulders. When her father stood there in his usual stern image, she felt immensely comforted cause she knows he is watching over her, as always. She has always felt that Daiki has a splitting image with her father, while she resembles her mother. And after reuniting with Daiki after a long time, she felt that resemblance has gotten even stronger.

"Lets get in before it starts raining..." Her father remarked. She wiped her tears secretly then released herself from her mother's arms. Her mother held her hand and the pair made their way in with her father taking the lead. 

She returned to her room to find it in the exact state it was left when she departed for Tokyo. Her father told her that her mother tidies it everyday to distract her from the forlorn love for her daughter. Mirai felt her heart even heavier. It made the second night from the revelation just as heavy as the first. She turned and tossed and she just couldnt fall asleep. Mirai heard a click in the door. Her father's head peeked into the room and said in his coarse voice, "not asleep yet?"

"I cant sleep otousan."

"Want to have a drink with me?" It's unusual for a father to ask his daughter for a drink cause it's often a father-son affair. It strikes Mirai that Daiki has been away from home a tat too long and that her usually expressionless father who upholds an ever stringent image has always bottled his longing for his son. 

She nodded because she needed to distract herself from the cruel silence. She remembered her father as a man of few words, and it's her mother who's skilled at all heart-to-heart talks. Today, it felt different. My father poured a cup of sake for her and one for himself, and she cant take her eyes off him. There's this calmness she got from him. 

"How's your brother?"

"He's very successful, otousan. He was in charge of a murder case the week I was there and he protected my friend, he was amazing."

"That's good to hear," he said with a solemn tone. Mirai wondered why Daiki hasnt called back as often as her, and she figured now that if he had heard their voices, he would definitely want to come back and give them a hug. She thought the feeling was very strong this time and Daiki has heard how weak his father's voice has grown over the years, he would put away his work and rush back to Kyoto.

"And you, how are you doing?" It finally got to her. She expected the question but when it came, she finds herself unprepared to answer.

"Not good. I think I am bad at socialising. Im gullible, im naive."

"I heard... About your new friend."

"From niichan?"

"Yes, but he's just worried about you. You dont have to hide it from us. We are your parents, we are always here for you."

"Otousan..." I always think such lines are meant for my mother. Now that my father said it, it felt like he took the script from her. Nonetheless, it comforted me when he said he knew.

"Exactly why are you angry with him about?" Her father asked. It sounded like a simple question that probes into the root of her emotional breakdown. She should have the answer to that at the back of her fingertips but instead, there was no words came out of until a full second delay.

"He lied... Something so serious, he lied."

"Fair enough, a liar cant make a good friend...but let's say he didnt lie, and he told you exactly what his problem was, would it have changed anything? Would you then continue to befriend him?"

".... I..." She was really stunned by the questions her father posed. Each of the question seems like arrows piercing through her. Now it feels like she is forced to face a mirror where she looks at her own reflection. In that reflection, she saw herself in ugly discrimination of Ryosuke. Mirai got her father's hint... 

"Mirai... Im not interrogating you. Im your father. Your mother and I are here to give you support and care, and will always stand by your side when you need us. It's also our duty to impart our life experiences with you... There are some people in this world who are less fortunate than others, and it can be in an obvious way or in a less obvious way. It's perfectly human nature for people to befriend people who are more like themselves and judge others who are different. In today's world, we know discrimination is bad, but alot of us are guilty of that. Many of us fail to see that these people didnt choose to be different. It's not by choice, it's forced by circumstances, it's by birth and other natural occurrences that are beyond their control. They get shunned away like they are diseased but deep down they are just like any of us."

Mirai's heart felt like it is literally ripped apart. She felt her father has given her a lecture that wakes her up from the selfish world she lives in. It's a behaviour she has seen outside, and has ever detested, but she never realised she is guilty of the same act. 

"Let me ask you, does this boy have any friends?"

"... Not in school I think... (He is always alone)..."

"Exactly what I thought. This boy, he must have already lost hope with life and
accepted how his life is not gonna be any brighter. If you were him, would you have kept those differences of his away when he knows there's a chance he can finally have a friend?"

Mirai was sure she would do the same as Ryosuke, to lie, yet she couldnt find the courage to answer. 

"If you ask me, I would lie. Anyone would, just so that they can lead a normal life. It is a risk to take cause you never know if this person would mind your differences if she eventually finds out, and it could possibly lead to an irreversible scar on the oblivious person. Quite ironically, these people are normally the most kind and loving, and the last thing they want to do is to hurt the people around them. So they are more than likely to choose to be alone than make any friends."

Mirai immediately recalled how Ryosuke has never been the one who shows his feelings, and was most resistant to friendship. Was it the reason her father brought up? The causality between the cause and the effect became clearer as the mystery unravels. Yet her emotions became heavier harder to hide. She burst into tears as soon as her father offers his arms and she goes straight to it shamelessly. Her mind is in a mess and even the wisdom from her father didnt seem to put a stop to her cries.

"Mirai... Not everyone is able to look past a person's flaws, and if you cant, no one is gonna force you. While acceptance is the ideal, do what you are comfortable with. It will be bad for both you and him if you force yourself, and the result will only be a tragedy for both of you." 

She cried harder at those concluding words. The more her father leaves her to think for herself, the more troubled she gets. She misses those days where her parents will tell her specifically a wrong and would instruct her exactly how to correct it. Now, as an adult, she has to make personal choices, and that to her is burdensome though it's a part of growing up that some people fancy due to the unlimited freedom. While she gets a better idea of the problem at hand, she feels worst than before.

That night, thunder and lightning were particularly loud, much more than the night she watched Ryosuke stand in the rain, much more than the night before she decides to take a break from Tokyo. She bite her jaw in trembling fear, restraining her urge to run to her parents' room and cuddle in between. For a long time, she pretended to have graduated from her crippling fear of the thunder and lightning, and everytime she thought she managed to curb it, a heavy rain would set her back to the same horrific experience from the beginning. Then she would know she hasnt grown out of her childhood fear. She clenched her fist, scurry into a corner of the bed and curl into a ball under her blanket like a hamster. The rain became a legitimate excuse for her falling tears.

**** 

"Sir~" two police patrol officers walked into the station after their night duty, not surprised to see their superior still in office. Daiki hasnt been going home early for 2 nights straight because of Mirai's absence. He did feel extremely exhausted by the second night and was about to knock off from work until the two officers reported, "there're 2 girls looking for you, sir. They are now at the waiting room."

"2 girls? Who?"

"They said they're your sister's friends."

"Heh?" Daiki took a peek at the waiting room, and saw Umika and Sora sitting in the room. Umika was pacing up and down, while Sora appears extremely nervous. While Daiki is not keen to see them, he cant leave them in the room. 

He cleared his throat and made his presence felt. "What are you girls here for?" 

"Daiki! We... We are here to apologise! We did wrong, we didnt heed your advice to wait till you told her. We did it our way, we are sorry..." Sora said.

"We didnt know she will be hurt so deeply. We didnt know her friendship with Ryosuke will impact her so much" Umika added.

"Excuse me... So you mean friendship can be a child's play. If you hadnt know, Mirai is sincere in making any friends that she come across. Anyone would be hurt if they are lied to and her other friends choose to reveal the truth in such painful way."

"Sorry Daiki... We thought she wouldnt believe us it we have told her simply. We thought showing her and letting Ryosuke say it himself is the easiest way to convey to her"

"You mean it's the most convenient way for you guys~ this selfish method is for the benefit of you, not for Mirai."

"Please Daiki, please forgive us. We realise our mistake" Sora's voice cracked up while apologising. Umika realised her emotions so took over the talking, "mirai has taken absence from school. We are worried about her..."

"You neednt have to if you have heeded my advice. It's no point crying over a spilled milk." He looked at Sora, then turned away while adding, "she went back to Kyoto. Im not sure how long her absence would be, she wouldnt even talk to me. 

"Daiki.." Sora intended to trail after Daiki as he moved towards the exit of the waiting room. He stopped her in sarcasm.

"The two of you shouldnt be here. It's a police station. You dont come here as and when you like. Besides, we arent even that close." 

He stomped off, slamming the door behind him. They could hear him instructing his subordinates to send them off with a uncompromising tone. 

Hours have past, the initial urge to get home to rest was shoved aside by the uninvited guests. Daiki sat in his office and started working on tasks that are way ahead of schedule. He forgotten his eyelids were getting heavier until he was startled by a knock on the door.

"Sir, it's me," a subordinate of his swings open the door at his answer and only then Daiki realised that everyone else outside has knocked off. It was pitch dark in the rest of the station.

"Im going off, sir. Are you gonna work over the clock? You look tired" His subdordinate asked with concern. 

"Thanks. I guess i'll stay just a little while more. You go ahead first and enjoy the rest of the day. See you tomorrow!"

"Ah, wait sir... I think I should tell you, one of the two girls have been waiting outside the station for you for awhile"

"How long has it been?"

"About an hour...the weather is quite chilling today and she isnt wearing any extras, so sir, whatever mistake she did, i think you can forgive her?" 

"I'll see to it. Thanks for telling me"

Daiki waited for his subordinate to leave before he curiously peeked from the station into the outside. he wondered which of the 2 is the persistent one, and he was right. Sora was leaning against the wall of the station. She was rubbing herself on her shoulders, bending down like her leg is in cramps.

"Heh?!" She was startled when she felt a warm black blazer placed over her. She looked up to see Daiki adjusting the jacket on her.

"Daiki? I..."

"Go home will you? Im not gonna be responsible if you fall sick in this weather"

"Not until you forgive me..."

"Does it matter if I forgive you? It's Mirai you need to sort things out with, not me. We dont even have anything to do with each other."

"No... No..." She suddenly grabbed his arms. Daiki looked at her in confusion cause her reaction no longer make sense to him.

"I like you."

Not even what she said makes sense to him. Her face blushed even in the cold wind, it was obvious. He, on the hand, was shocked beyond words and all he could say was, "if you are saying that just to appease me, it's not really necessary. You know what, I'm alright. I dont exactly have the rights to demand an apology to me."

"No no, Daiki... I love you. So it matters to me if you hate me."

He was convinced that what she said was real. A confession from a girl in such unromantic setting, was the first of such encounter. But he thought the way she did it was adorable and innocent, unlike those previous girls who were pretentious in creating that perfect setting to trap him in a way he cant say no. 

"Let me send you home first" he avoided her confessions nonetheless, pushing her from the back.

"But..." She turned around to him and asked helplessly. Daiki couldnt turn a blind eye to that pout on her face and that confusion.

"Can we go indoors first. It's freezing out here" only when he mentioned, she realised that he is only covered by a white tee since he has passed his blazer to her. Sora seems too confused to answer, so he grabbed her arms like a big brother leading a little sister. For him, it felt exactly the way it is. It's not surprising, she is the same age as Mirai, and alot more petite than Mirai. No wonder the urge to take care of her is stronger. When they took the public transport, he noticed she didnt ask why he is bringing her somewhere else other than her home. He saw her sitting very stiff beside him, her head forever down instead of facing the night view from the window. He found himself fond of his bobbed hair and started it when he realised she has fallen asleep. He smiled. It's amusing to him to see her naturally waking up at the right stop even though he didnt tell her the destination. She quietly followed him to his house and sat down on the couch at his instructions, like a suppressed girl. She sat alone, and for awhile she didnt dare say anything.

"here, keep yourself warm." he suprised her with a cup of hot chocolate. What surprised her more, is when he sat right beside her instead of taking any other seats further. She felt nervous, especially after the confession. She gulped down the hot drink as if the temperature didnt matter. She looked up only when Daiki chuckled.

"I am sure I used hot water to prepare this. either you are really thirsty or your taste buds are superbly heat insensitive"

"sorry," she lowered her head and apologised.

"for what? I am saying in a jovial way, but since you are looking down all the time, you probably cant see my expression"

She shyly lifted her head and exchange glances at him. Only then she noticed his eyes were softer just like his expression, nothing like what she saw at the station where he sternly spoke to her and Umika. Glad, but at the same time, even more nervous because it meant that he kept in mind her confession.

"i remembered you to be a lot more brave in front of the murderer than now"

"it's because I..."

"about Mirai, I also have to apologise. Like I mentioned, I have no rights to get angry with you guys. Besides, it was all out of friendship for Mirai. You guys are afraid she'll get hurt if she finds out later."

"but the method we did was wrong."

"I believe it wasnt you who came up with this method. it doesnt seem you..."

"Daiki...you barely know me..." she looked at him with emotional eyes because of the faith he has with her, "why would you trust me?"

"I don't know. I just do. Someone who plays such a nice music, can't possibly be so ruthless right?" he smiled and lightly her hair again.

She blushed. Daiki interrupted those fuzzy moments of hers, and his expression turned alittle heavier. Sora knew it is what she doesnt hope to hear.

"Sora... Im sorry, but I dont think I want to be in a relationship for now. It's not because you are no good, but I had a tiring one the last time, and I thought I want a break from a relationship. It's to be fair to you as well."

She sat silently. It makes Daiki guilty. Flustered, he quickly tried explain, "it's not that I dont like you... I am not even sure if I do, but... Argh what I mean is..."

"I understand. We barely know each other. I am sorry for imposing on you with this sudden confession." She suddenly stood up. "I think I should go...You should rest." She walked to the door.

"Sora... Thanks for liking me."

She returned a really bright smile. Yet Daiki could see clearly the awkwardness that is masked beneath her smile. He would have offered to send her home, but he knew she rather have the time alone than having to face the guy who outrightly rejected her love. He feels useless at the point. Crashing into his bed, he let all the burdensome feelings take a back seat while his exhaustion took over. His worries for Mirai still prominently surfacing even in his sleep.

***
Mirai POV

The second day back in Kyoto. It means I have missed school for 2 straight days and there's definitely gonna be a third and fourth. I lethargically sat on the dining table with my eye bags so impossibly dark and thick, I didnt bother masking it with concealer or makeup. I blamed the lightning and the thunder, but I cant entirely do so too, cause my heart was the cause too.

I saw my mother whispering to my father at the corner of my eyes which she never thought I can see. I pretended I did not see, giving them the benefit of doubt. When they let life go on as per normal, my father heading to the farm with my mother to help out the farmers, I feel like they have forgotten how broken i was. I feel like they dont love me anymore. I pouted when they left, they did not see. After their goodbye, it was me against the world, alone. I tried to go back to sleep, since I barely did last night. Tossing and turning for an hour, i finally gone into a deep sleep, awakened only by the evening when my mobile rang.

I initially wanted to shut it off, cause I would naturally think the call would be from Daiki, Kento, Sora or Umika who have been calling me every few hours. It'll definitely not Ryosuke cause after that last message from him before the festival, I havent heard from him. Not that I am hoping he did (i think). Just when I wanted to shut it off, I glimpsed a name on the caller ID that made me stop.

"Kamiki!" I quickly picked up the call.

"Mirai!!! You are back and you did not even inform us."

"Sorry, I was busy with some stuff. i was going to contact you guys..."

"Lie. You must have forgotten about us."

"No, of course not. You guys are my best friends!" I became defensive, but realised it was unnecessary especially when Kamiki  dont know what she has gone through.

"Chill, we know. We are irreplaceable in your heart, as you promised. Anyway, we are in our old school. If you're not busy now, come meet us."

"... Alright! Wait for me, ne?"

"Yes, we will. See you, Mirai!"

I put on a loose clothes then rushed off to the place where I was really the happiest. It is probably gonna take my mind off all the things my father said yesterday.  perhaps i am even hoping that my friends can help me forget all that has happened. When I reached the old familiar grounds of the school, I see those friends I grew up with, standing in a row on the field, with cheerful smiles. 

"Minna!!!" I ran towards them and we literally formed a big hug, each of them, bracing each other in their arms.  a whole lot of warmth is all I need. I hope time would pause there.

"Where's Yudai?"

"He is out of town, but he said he will try to be here," Rika said. I did feel disappointed until the tents behind us, in the middle of the school field, caught my attention.

"What's going on behind? Is someone having a camp here today? We shouldnt disturb."

"Yes, there's a camp happening. But those people are us. We are gonna camp here tonight and get out of here by dawn before the students and teachers start streaming in" Keito exclaimed. I immediately became excited. It's almost like sneaking into school and breaking all possible rules then fleeing before anyone finds out. 

"Shall we, Mirai?" Kamiki asked, and the rest looked at me in anticipation. I paused to build the excitement, then nodded. First, we reentered the school compounds, then returned to our classroom. We sat at our own seats, as if time has travelled back to the time where Tokyo still seemed like a foreign land, a time where my life has  no Umika, Sora, Kento and even the brother who I havent met for long. It is precisely this time, where I was most carefree and loved, because I have this group of friends who I can always count on.

"Ouch" i exclaimed when something hit my head. I saw a ball of paper on the ground and I turned around to see Kamiki's mischievous laughter. "Kamiki Ryunosuke~"

In normal circumstances, I would have really went after him, but I ended up laughing, cause it really brought back memories. I looked at each of them seated at where I remembered them to be, and every corner of the classroom is filled with lovely memories. 

"What are you thinking about, Mirai?" Rika and Nami propped herself near me and probed.

"About all of us..." I smiled. "Everything seems like yesterday..."

"Yes. It definitely feels like it. And how can there not be these!" Keito retrieved the popsicles from an ice box and distributed it. It made me so happy. I really havent had them for so long. So we pulled our chairs together around my table and I listened to their amusing stories of school and life that happened while I was away, and they also shared about how Rika and Kamiki, Nami and Yuya senpai got together. Nami's story did sound like a fairytale, and I would hope Yuya, the school's heartthrob was here with us. I feel really happy for their lives, and contrastingly, mine felt like it was awfully messed up. Fortunately, they didnt ask me to share.

That night, we occupied 2 tents. One for the 3 guys, but Yudai never managed to make it, while the 3 girls rested in the other tent. Both tents were placed side by side cause the guys insisted to take care of us. For some reason, i began comparing how drastically different this sleepover is as opposed to the roadtrip with Kento and the rest. This was really lighthearted, but the other felt heavy. Now it became apparent why there was so much hostility towards Ryosuke during the roadtrip. Even if it was for just a second, I felt sympathetic towards Ryosuke. She hadnt realised it was discrimination at play then. She thought, how much of the smiles Ryosuke showed during the trip was genuine, and how much was him masking his discomfort. (I did force it upon him. He didnt want to come along in the first place).

"Mirai."

"Kamiki, you are not asleep yet?" He too, stucked out his head from the tent and observing the beauty of the night sky. The kyoto stars seem alot brighter than those back in Tokyo.

"No, not yet. You?"

"Me too... Kamiki, you guys know about what happened right?"

"... Was it obvious?"

"All the preparations cant be something adhoc. My parents told you guys. Im sorry to trouble you all to cheer me up"

"No way it's troublesome. We are all still friends right...but, what we can do is only this much. You still have to make a choice yourself"

"Yes... But i really dont know how..."

"I understand your dilemma. In fact, I think I admire your attitude. If we were you, we probably wont think much and cut all ties with that guy. It's just a friendship, it is not so difficult to end it, unless... You feel something deeper for him."

"I..."

"You dont have to tell me.. For you Mirai, even if its not a romantic relationship, you treasure your friends as much as your family. That itself is admirable. So it's good problems you are facing..."

"Good problems?" I chuckled..."that's the first time I heard.

"Anyway Mirai, i dont know him to comment about his character, but i think you should know better than anyone else out there to judge for yourself. Whether or not he deserves a second chance, it is up to an individual. No one should be able to influence you."

"That illness, is it really incurable? Will he never get well?"

"That, I am not sure. I think it depends person to person and how severe the root problem was"

"Root problem?"

"There should be something that caused the illness, i supposed. The trigger point. Unless it was genetic. Some people have the tendency because of their parents"

"I dont know any of this. I dont know about his life at all."

"He probably isnt ready to share it, just like how he isnt ready to tell you his problem."

"My father asked yesterday, if he had told me truthfully, would I have accepted him then. Frankly, I dont know."

"Not surprising. I dont think it's about him lying that you are upset about. I think it's more than that, it's probably reconciling the fact he has the stigmatised illness. It's a difficult decision if you were to befriend someone outside the norm, because in normal circumstances, you are probably going to get yourself discriminated as well."

"Thats really unfair..."

"Thats why its hard for them to ever get true friends who are not afraid of getting implicated themselves."

"Will you?"

"I have to frank, Im not kind enough to accept these people. But like I said just now, I dont know him to influence your decision."

I kept quiet at Kamiki's statement. I didnt know how else to respond cause the Ryosuke i know thus far has been nice. He really didnt do anything hurtful to me. Did he deserve all these?

"Mirai..."

"Heh?" I was awakened from her trance.

"Whatever it is, you can come to us. Rika and Nami is especially worried for you. If you ever want to come back, we're here!"

All these sweet words eventually put me to sleep. I was so sound asleep that i didnt wake up at all until the break of dawn. One night sleep, i managed to clear my mind and rethink about everything anyone has said. To be away for 2 whole days and into a third, and have at least a hundred missed calls and messages, i cannot run away for too long. My act has been irresponsible. My disappearance has most indefinitely caused troubles to my friends and my brother. With a heavy heart, I carried my luggage with the well-wishes from my friends and my parents, and headed to the shinkansen station. I told them not to send me off, leaving with them only letters to bid my farewells.  

"Mirai!!!" 

I thought I imagined my name being called. I ignored it until I heard it a second time. This time, it seems near.

"Mirai!" 

I turned around, only to be greeted by a shock.

"Yudai~"

"I almost didnt make it. Sorry I was late," he panted.

"If you're busy, it's okay."

"No way. You came back Kyoto with problems, yet I cant help you in any way. I hadnt fulfilled my promise that i'll be there when you need me."

"Thank you, Yudai!" I threw my arms over him and buried my face in his hair. He patted my back lightly, making me feel all comforted.

"Take your time to decide on a direction. But knowing you, I am sure you have an answer somewhere inside. Trust yourself. Sometimes, the most irrational relationship is the most magical of all."

"Thanks for having faith in me, Yudai."

"You are the Shida Mirai, after all. The most confident and kind... Go on, or you'll miss the train"

While it is unbearable to end it here, it has to. From the instance I chose to seek refuge back here, I knew the unbearable feelings of parting will hurt again. My misses of my parents and each of my friends is going to and will replay again. The same route to Tokyo, brings back memories from the first time. Those feeling of nervousness came back, but it wasnt for the same reasons. Then inevitably, it reminds me of the first person I encountered, she showed me his kindness when everyone else was engrossed with themselves, or only thought of me like a newbie who is going to be troublesome.

I shed a tear and caught it with my hand. It was a sense of remorse and regrets. I was the one who forced him to befriend me. If I never did, he wouldnt have to lie. If I did give him hope, then I have unfortunately taken it away from him. It's not his fault that it has come this way, it was mine. They were right. I decided the path because I trust him that he is a nice person. He hasnt hurt me, not even now. He did everything to keep me unhurt, including the lies. What others think of him, should not matter. I am guilty of discriminating someone and I am going to set things right. 

Why did I take so long to realise all these. Why did it take me so long to see the light. I ran towards school, hoping to find him and say sorry to him. 

Good thing when I arrived in school, everyone is still in their classes. I went straight for the senior class, but when I finally arrived, i am glad everyone is at their seats. Everyone is attentively listening to class, except for one. All but one. His seat was empty. My heart sank.