Ryosuke took a slow stroll to book cafe and stopped along the way at a dark underpass. He squat by a box and smiled gently as he took a peek in. 3 small snowy white kittens with few black spots peered out of the box and gripped his fingers. 

"What is it?" He softly said then chuckled. He knows best what they wanted but teased them by hovering his hands over their small heads. "You don't always get what you want in life, ya' know" he said but eventually gave in to their adorable meows. He scooped all 3 of them up with his arms and brought them close to his chest, cuddling them, patting them. One particular one stretched up to his shoulders, then him on his neck. Ticklish he felt, he laughed at the kitten's affection.

He is distracted by another cat then quickly approached them. The incoming cat of adult size and similar spots, when right up to him and started rubbing its body on him. He chuckled again. "You're a mother now, you can't be jealous of your kids, right? (Laughs)" He let down the three kittens and poured them some milk in a dish before picking the mother cat up and comfort it gently. The cat is extremely attached to him, him by the sides of his lips. She meowed softly as if pleading for him not to leave. He looked back with disapproving eyes and sighed. He remembered the night he found her, being battered by her owner then dumped at the rubbish chute. Drenched and bleeding, she meowed so terribly he thought she was crying when he found her. He wondered now when he patted her, looked her in the eyes, how much of her memories were etched onto her mind, how much of it unforgotten. had she buried all of these away in her heart and started afresh. Is it possible to forgive and forget her perpetrators and those memories that cause her to burn in pain every night when she shuts her eyes. He gently traced his finger along the scar that can never fully heal and thought the same for memories. He kissed her wound lightly and she looks at him like she knew how he feels. She meowed softly once more then his fingers. 

"I'm okay. Thank you. And i hope you and your three children will too." He patted the 4 lovely felines then continued his journey after cleaning his hands at a nearby public tap. When he reached the outside of the all too familiar book cafe, he was greeted by completely foreign scene. An enormous, life-sized 'cat', ran towards him.

"Heh?!" He took many steps back before the 'cat' pows on him. Its fluffy body leans on to him and its body squeezed by its arms tightened around him. He doesn't know where to place his arms, this is completely out of the world that he ever gets hugged by a giant cat mascot. He looks over the mascot and counts the number of people who should be in the cafe. Regardless how he counted, it seems everyone who should be working inside today are all present. 

"Who are you?" He forcefully pushed himself away from the overly-affectionate mascot who refused to let itself off from him. The mascot irritatingly tilted its head to act cute. Ryosuke doesn't know whether he should be laughing or angry, frankly it's hard for him to get angry at a adorable mascot who really knows how to lighten the mood. Before it removed the head gear, the lady boss came out.

"Ryosuke, i forgot to mention in the call just now. Mirai has volunteered to help us out today."

"Don't tell me, this is..." He pointed at the mascot in disbelief. The mascot lifted its head gear, to continue the surprise.

"Ohayou gozaimasu Senpai!" She posed with her two fingers beside her face and stuck out her tongue to show her mischief. He wanted to get angry for her constant appearance in his life, but the exhaustion beneath that mascot costume which traps heat and weighs a ton, makes him pity her alittle bit. Until he remembers it is her decision to volunteer after all. She is sweating profusely and she looks slightly pale.

"I'll take over now since I'm here" he tried to take it from her, however, she refused. 

"I can do it, i wanna do it... Your boss says I can, so you can't take the job from me" she stuck out her tongue mischievously again then wore back the mascot's head gear and bounced off to distribute the flyers to interested passerbys.

He is frustrated, he turned to the lady boss and her reaction surprisingly was mutual. "I needed you and Saki in the cafe today. Alot of coffee orders today so I need you to back up Saki as barista. He can't handle the stress... I'm glad she came to help, but it does seem quite tough on her. It's physically draining but she is too stubborn to listen though."

"She looks exhausted."

"Ryosuke, you help Saki out to clear some of the orders first. Then once you have done that, help her with her task."

"Help her? How?"

"You know how..." The lady boss tapped his shoulders then left him dazing at Mirai, unsure of what to do. He can't help but chuckle at how clumsily passionately she was at her job, at the same time puzzled why she is so persistent in befriending him. While he helped Saki clear the backorders and the grumpy customers who have waited too long for their orders, his eyes were constantly on her. He couldn't take his eyes off her for even a second.

"Thank you Ryosuke...for helping with me today" Saki cornered him behind the barista's bar while he is in a daze.

"Huh. Ah, it's nothing," he dismissed Saki with a smile. However, Saki stepped even closer to caress the side of his lips, tracing it with his index finger. Then Saki threw his arms over Ryosuke and hugged him tight. 

"I'm alright Saki." He lightly pushed him away before anyone sees them. As he departed from Saki, and walked out from the bar table, his eyes met the mascot's. He felt a strong need to explain to her but didn't understand how the need arose.

He followed her quietly to the back door of the cafe where she entered. As she took of the head gear and plummeted onto the little couch, he revealed himself and shut the back door from behind. 

"Senpai?"

"Stand up..." He held her up from the thick mascot costume. She stumbled slightly but he managed to secure her in place. He ped the costume from her back then helped her remove it. She naturally grabbed his arms for stability and he didn't feel as strongly against it as before. He saw her both exhausted, pale and her sweat is trickling down profusely. He switched on the air conditioner then handed to her a cup of ice tea. He sat beside her and remained in silence for a while. 

"You saw, didn't you?" He finally asked. 

Then she awkwardly shrugged it off with a laugh "ah no no, see what?"

"We're not what you think..."

His reply took awhile for her to digest, the way he sees it. There was delayed silence then suddenly she went back to her hysteric self.

"I knew it! (Laughs) you are definitely interested in girls" she excitedly pounded on his arms which he reacted in annoyance.

"Well, don't be too sure about that. I merely told you there's nothing more than friends and colleagues between me and him. I didn't comment on my preference for girls" This time she was the one annoyed. That was his goal, so when he sees her pout, he tried hard to restrain his laughter.

"Ah, What happened to your face... The bruises" she tried to do exactly what Saki did earlier, except she was more observant to see more revealing beneath his collar. Ryosuke knew what was coming so he politely pushed her hands away when she closed in.

"It's nothing.."

"You fought? With who?" She probed further.

"If it's not because of you...(Kento wouldnt...)" He mumbled as he recalled the fight with Kento. It is the first time Kento looked up for him, but he ain't surprise to see him showing up in front of him and invited him to the less-visited stairway on another level at school. He remembered the hostile and vengeful tone of Kento when he sternly warned him to keep away from her. Though there has only been two instances he saw Kento's uneasiness when it comes to Mirai, it is already clear to him that Kento is interested in her. From his observations, Kento is popular with a flood of girls confessing to him, but he never seemed to be interested, rather he feels like Kento knows who he is looking for just like all his girlfriends which lasted with him quite long as compared to modern standards. Is this reckless, hyperactive bunny, Shida Mirai the one he likes? He can't understand the reason behind his unique love interest. He smirked as he looked at Mirai's silliness and is not at all doubtful that this girl hasn't got a clue about it. He is tickled by the whole thing about her, but he is reminded by the hate speech Kento directs to him and wrenched his fist "you don't deserve anyone. Just remain invisible and out of everyone's life. If you dare hurt her, I will not be so light with my fist the next round and I'll definitely make sure you can't even get up the next time". He didn't retaliate at any point, rather he let Kento vent it all out. He would want to but he didn't have such rights. 

"Senpai? Ryosuke? ... Did you say something? I can't catch... Who did you fight with?"

"It doesn't matter..."

"There's this amazing cream that can remove the bruises in no time. I'll go get it for you right now from the pharmacy..."

"I said it doesn't matter... You don't have to be concerned over people like me~ haven't kento told you anything about me?!"

"What is he supposed to say~ I really don't care and I'm not about to listen... He can have many bad episodes with you, but it doesn't have anything to do with me. It's me who wants to befriend you, I don't care about other's experience."

"Haven't you heard once bitten twice shy? Other's experience help you avoid getting hurt yourself. Your parents should have taught you all these - not to befriend bad people, I'm one of them"

"How bad can you be?! Murderer? Criminal? Underground triad leader?"

"You can just take it that I'm one of these..." He pinned her against the wall with his one hand unknowingly wrenched against her wrist. He gave her a penetrating glare that sends chills down her spine. In a cold voice, he warned her once more, "so just shun away from me (like everyone else)" he said as he turned away towards the exit. He thought that's enough to get her off his back, but her cold hands grabbed his just as he was about to step out of the room, like a weight holding him back. "Senpai~" her moans didn't sound right, so he turned to her and was surprised to see her crouching on the ground. He was flustered, afraid he has hurt her unintentionally. He quickly helped her onto the couch then saw her face as pale as a piece of blank paper. He immediately realised what was wrong.

"Your Anaemia acted up again?" He is surprised to hear himself remember exactly the health issue she has. "It must have been the heat, loss of body fluids and exhaustion. I'll go get something for you to munch" he wanted to go off but she held him back again.

"I'll be back soon, you put your head down. You'll feel less dizzy" 

She nodded and finally let go off her hand. He went off to the kitchen, stared at the stove and the available ingredients he have. His mind naturally recollected the bento she prepared, and immediately after, he sprung into action. In less than 10 minutes, he has cooked up a pipping hot meal - mixed grained rice with chicken karage, broccoli and furigake. Lastly, he poured a little of his own concocted sweet sauce over the finished product. He blended 2 cups of strawberry smoothie before rushing back to her.

"Who is these for?" The lady boss asked with Saki by her side.

"That troublesome girl" he replied coldly before going back to the room where she was in. There she is already lay on her side. He squat beside the couch then watched her for a delayed second. He wondered why the delay, perhaps he didn't have the heart to wake her or perhaps there was more about her he never noticed.

He was about to take off his jacket for her when she jerked up from her sleep. He quickly wore it back. He went back to his default pokerface, careful not to show any signs of softening. "Here, eat it up..."

Her face blushed when she took a look at the dish, then in a pitch higher, she exclaimed "thank you!!!" and she attempted to hug him. He quickly blocked it off like she got some contagious disease. They ended up in a catdog chase which at one point he really wanted to breakout in a hearty laughter. He has never felt like this for the longest time. What's most strange is that when he watched her eat, his legs didn't seem to wanna leave.

"It's so delicious! Thank you!" she turned to him to give an eye smile. He returned a gentle, too subtle smile which almost immediately vanished. It suddenly all came back to him that he has been too careless with her reckless persistence, that he has revealed too much of his emotions that could potentially risk everything he has tried to sustain, that distance from the world he upkeeps so that no one even himself gets hurt again. He springs up on his feet, exiting without any word, not even listening to her repeated thank you. leaned against the wall, he took a second peek at her, eating so happily and peacefully, he can't help but reveal another smile, this time secretly. For the longest time, he managed to give a person that little happiness.

****

Umika is sitting in the empty judo practice hall, alone, staring at the mat. She thinks deeply of what Kento told her that day, and ponders over again about what she actually wants in life and where she actually stands. She feels like a lost sheep, losing its way in the vast dessert, struggling to keep herself alive. There are constant mirages that distract her, while everyone else has gotten to the green pastures. She browses through her phone, where she kept the most precious of her memories, and they were to her surprise, all of her and dancing. Then there were those with the guy who cares for her when no one else was around her. He is her other source of happiness, but she isn't his source of happiness but her new best friend is. She wants to be truthful to Mirai and sincerely gives her blessings, but she can't bring herself to say it.

She sighs then jumped on her feet, "nobody in this world gets everything of their wish. We'll just deal with whatever we have". She punched absentmindedly forward as though that is the punchbag, but it turned out to be warmer than how the bag should feel like. She opened her eyes and sees what else it could be.

"Kento!" She stumbled backwards.

"Baka, is it that surprising? We arranged for the practice to be here isn't it?" 

She scratched her head shyly, and he pat her head lightly. "Well your fist does need some upgrade, but let's work on you throwing me over."

"Heh?"

"Don't act blur. First, let's try with a useless perpetrator. I'm not gonna retaliate, so come and throw me over"

She breathed in as always then approached him. She is cautious, perhaps too cautious that she cause stress to herself. She let the awkwardness stand in the way. She grabbed his arm, gentle as she would have preferred, then tried to ironically pull him over her weak body. She pulled and pulled, while preoccupied with her own shy when his body leaned against hers. 

"I don't think you are focused..." He finally broke the silent fight, almost one-sided. "Shall I show you once again how to flip someone over?"

"No no no...." She begged and the next moment, she is lying on the ground. Painless, that's miraculous. How is it possible, she wondered. 

"Pain?"

"No... How did you do it?" She asked. He stretches out his hand for her, and she takes it with much heat flushing all over her face. 

"I told you I won't hurt you, ne. But I don't think your perpetrator would consider so much" he tried to attack, but this time Umika is alert enough to stand firm to the ground. 

"Good, really not bad... Can you take on more..." He started tackling, and he is surprised she could block out each and everyone. The private training went on and on, she is given no time to think about all things related to intimacy. By the end of a vigorous session of tackling, they were both physically drained, lying on the ground with deep breathing.

"You should be able to pass by now, and if you do, you owe me a big treat"

"If i don't?"

"Then back to plan b, dance. I really do wanna see you dance, Umika..."

"You do?"

"Yes...you look elegant when you dance. You know Kira?"

"Your ex-girlfriend?"

"Yes, she's a dancer. Guess what, she doesn't even dance as good as you"

"You're trying to flatter me so I change my mind...aren't you..."

"Whatever you say, babe. But i really do wanna know the rationale behind your drive to learn judo" he leaned on his side to face her. The reason is right here, she wants to say but she can't. Even not answering is a problem, cause his intimidating eyes that looks right into hers make it hard to avoid.

"It's just this passion I never knew I had..."

"Ah~ okay if that is your answer" he didn't seem convince. "Anyway, it has been sometime since we took a roadtrip. Why not let's go together.."

"The two of us?"

"Yes..." He answered simply. Umika heart nearly stopped when she hears that one word, yet it is too soon to celebrate. "with my sister and Mirai too."

"... Sounds like a plan."

"Lets go after the term's exam. That's about 2 weeks from now. I'll go rent a jeep. We can go for about 3 days 2 nights then we can make it in time for the cultural festival"

"Alright, sounds like a great plan" Umika tries to feign her excitement. It honestly sounds like a good plan except she knows his intention is Mirai.

"I hope Mirai will come along though, she always seem busy after school. Even on the weekends, like today, I wanted to meet her for a lunch, she said she is busy. She should have settled down by now I thought. Wanted to show her around Tokyo"

Kento sat up then said in a serious tone, "...There's something I should tell you, Umika.... About Mirai... She has been hanging out with someone, and this someone im afraid may hurt her...i dont blame her for being tricked by him, he has a good exterior, girls who dont know him can fall right into the trap"

"Who?"

"Yamada Ryosuke..."

Umika gasped. These all made the situation more complexed than it already is. She can see the worries in his eyes and that adds to her disappointment, and at the same time, paranoia for her best friend's perilous circumstances.

When Monday came, she becomes more observant about Mirai. Kento told her to pretend she didnt know, and to keep an eye on her safety. As they head out of school together with Mirai and Sora, the trio discussed about the road trip.

"Lets bring lots and lots of tibits. Drinks... Ah ah we can possibly barbecue at the lodge," Mirai excitedly exclaimed.

"I heard the lodge is facing the sea and the waters are really greenish blue. Those google images are really quite pretty already... Sora, why are you pouting...?" Umika asked.

"Why must it be with him?..."

"Kento? He suggested so i cant possibly cut him out right..."

"Dont worry, Sora... I'll ask my brother to come along!"

"Yeahhh!" Sora jumped in joy at Mirai's suggestion. Umika stood there unsure of what she has missed. Nonetheless, the conclusion she gets is not far from truth.

"Sora, you are interested in Mirai's brother Daiki? Since when?"

"Not too long ago. It's love at first sight" Mirai teased. Umika felt as though she was left out such that there were little secrets between her best friend Sora and Mirai who has only joined them not too long. She suppressed that feeling of uneasiness with a awkward smile. 

"Can i bring another friend too?" Mirai blurted out freely.

"Who?" Umika knew who she is implying but pretended to be oblivious. 

"A friend...from school"

"Oohhhh, you mean boyfriend?" Sora teased. "Why didnt you introduce earlier?"

"He's not my boyfriend. But...he is a nice person when you get to know him."

"I get you" sora gave a smirk. "Then we shall accommodate him with the best hospitality, right Umika~" she mischievously said.  Umika hesitantly nodded. 

"anyway guys, I am heading off for a job. See you all tomorrow"

"Where are you working anyway?" Umika asked out of curiosity and possibly as a contingency.

"A book cafe near my house" Mirai responded as she took off towards another direction. Umika is filled once again with uncertainty and a mind boggled down with conflicts. 

****

It was a quiet night. Ryosuke sat alone in the science lab with permission from the teacher to have more time to complete his experiment. He has to apply for an urgent leave from work today, cause if he does not complete this assignment, he will fail the class. He looks around at everyone's specimen, and realises he is the only one who has yet to complete. He diligently did the experiment without any help from anyone, step by step. He thought to himself that working on it after lab time is alot more productive with no one distracting him. The class took about 2 hours to complete while he took merely an hour. He smiled in satisfaction with his accomplishment. His phone rang in the midst of his celebratory mode, and he realised it was already night time. 

"Moshi moshi..." He said to the caller who turned out to be his lady boss.

"Ryosuke, tomorrow morning, I may be late to open the cafe. Can you help me open since it's on your way to school?"

"Sure... I can get the key from you later when I come home..."

"Oh, it's okay. You can meet Mirai in the morning on the way tomorrow to get the key. She will help me close the cafe today."

"... Her? How did she have our key and why is she the one closing the cafe today...?"

"I have gotten her help to do some accounts with a small pay. She said she could pass you the keys since you two stay in the same neighbourhood"

He sighed, then reluctantly gave his acknowledgment until he remembered something else more important just as he was about to hung up.

"Saki is alone at the cafe, is it?"

"Yes. I have something on so i wont be coming in today"

Ryosuke hung up the call then he froze there, unable to comprehend and even to evaluate the different scenarios that could possibly happen. He feels a chill down his spine. He wants not to overthink, or to be concerned about the girl who pesters him so much. But in recent days, the pestering has become ingrained as a daily affair and that she has subconsciously become a norm in his otherwise dull life. To put it more accurately, it feels like something is amiss if she never intrudes into life on any day. For the first time, he has experienced fear for someone else's safety and more specifically, concern. He stands against the twilight where a stream of light shines through the gap in the closed window. "please don't let anything happen". For the longest time, he hasn't prayed or made a wish, cause he has concluded that none of this will ever work. He clenches his fist and recalls how men are the centre of all cause and consequence. He grabs his belongings and ran off to the cafe.

***
Mirai POV

Assigned one of the corner tables, out of sight from the other customers, I diligently worked through the accounts. I asked the lady boss, whose name I know now as Fukushi-san, to give me any task so that I can earn some quick bucks. I thought it would have been cleaning dishes or serving the food, I never thought I will have to do accounts. My math was bad, but she said that's why i need more practice. She also said I shouldn't wrinkle my hands from the tough work like cleaning. Here I am, buried in the piles of numbers I cannot bring myself to love. It is especially tormenting when the underlying purpose for coming here cannot be met. Ryosuke has taken leave and there's only Saki and me at the cafe. He is very kind though, much more than Ryosuke. He makes extra attempt to make sure I dont go hungry or thirsty, serving me delicious food one after another, and tasty drinks too. My table is always filled. I felt somewhat guilty for showing my face collapse in disappointment when he told me Ryosuke is absent. He did appear quite offended initially so I didnt expect him to still treat me so nicely. I was so careless with others' feelings. I dont deserve his goodness. I sighed as I took secret peeks at him. Everytime i did so, he always happen to be looking in my direction. Our eyes always meet. That is awkward. There is also something about him that I cant quite explain. Strange isnt the right word. Shy isnt too, or maybe an extreme of nervous? I decided to put my head into the confusing math and stop grumping over the missed opportunity and analysing people like a behavioural scientist.

Math is like a hypnotic stunt constantly putting you in a state of drowsiness. My eyelids was barely openly until I saw that I am the only one left in the cafe with Saki. All the customers have left with the closed sign up.

"Oh no. I held you back. Sorry, I am too slow"

"It's okay" he said a very chilling way - slow, soft and cold. His eyes was fixated on me. His glance is so still, it seems he doesnt have to blink. I am genuinely creeped out. I am not gonna be rude the second time, I am careful this time.

"I am not done yet, maybe I should just go home to complete it. I can pass the accounts to Ryosuke tomorrow along with the keys"

While I am trying to keep my composure and swiftly pack up, he has silently crept up beside my seat, naturally blocking my only way to move out from my seat. 

"I... I thought we are going?"

"We are... But can we talk for awhile?"

"... Sure, but let me go to the washroom first?"

He didnt utter another word, immediately giving his way to let me out. The whole time, my voice trembled, now my feet is weak. I pretended to be calm, making my way to the washroom. I quickly closed the door and retrieved my phone. There werent many numbers in my phone, just 4 people - my brother, Sora, Umika and Kento. No one picked up except the last one... 

"Senpai..." I was glad Kento picked up his call. 

"mirai? Why do you sound so strange? Is something wrong?"

"I think im in trouble... I am at a book cafe called P.S cafe around the junction towards fussa street... Please save me"

"Okay... In the meantime, whatever it is, use your judo..."

I dropped my phone the instance the door swings open. I didnt realise it wasnt locked. I must have been too frightened to realise, but now it has become worst. I have triggered his mental alarm, anytime he can burn in rage.

"Who did you call? Yamada?"

"N-no... Can we go now?" I trembled so badly, unable to hide my emotions anymore. He then pinned me against the wall, harshly. His answer to my question is obvious. I probably wont be going anywhere for a while.

"Why is it Yamada?!" He told me with bloodshot eyes (or so I imagined). 

"What do you mean?" Any answers can potentially anger him, so not assuming any answers are the best policy now.

"Why is it you are only befriending YAMADA. Why is your eyes only for him?!!!"

"I... i... IS THERE ANY PROBLEM WITH IT? We are school mates, and it's not like I am not befriending you. Can you please step away..."

He did not budge, instead his breathing became heavier, deeper, like he is expelling him fumes from inside. His fist clenched so tight, i could hear his bones cracking. His teeth was grinding... Kento's words echoed in my mind, like a holy voice telling me exactly what I should do.

I firmed my posture with what little space I have. I prepared my arms, my hands, my fingers, ready for combat. i raised my arm into the air, to wave my first move.

However, that is impossible when my hand is occupied. Another hand has stretched into the sky and held mine tightly. A electrifying sensation ran from my hand, awakening all my body cells. My eyes widened and turned to the side of the person who intervened.

"Ryosuke~" i cupped my mouth with my freehand. He pulled me out of Saki's trap, and towards him, and he didnt let go. I never take my eyes off him, cause that moment, I felt so safe beside him, so captivated by his suave arrival like a knight in shinning armour. It seems even Saki is shocked. Until i return to my senses, i try to rant to him.

"Ryosuke, he..."

"What took you guys so long? I am on my way home and I see the lights here still on... So I thought I would just help," he said that with his eyes completely away from me but fixated on Saki. I have his hands in mine, but not his attention. I am furious for cutting me out, so I interrupt again. 

"Ryosuke, he... Do you know what he tried to do just now... He..." This time he squeezed my hands and then threw me a cold stare.

"Saki, it's getting late and you have a long day covering my work. Let me lock up the place. You can go ahead first."

"But Ryosuke..." I didnt dare say anymore cause he did seem like he knows what he is doing.

This time, Saki tries to speak up, "Ryosuke, I..." But he too got cut off by Ryosuke. 

"Go back and have a good sleep. Dont think about anything else," Ryosuke smiled warmly. That moment, I saw a side of Ryosuke that seems rarer than rare, a side that is unrestrained, completely stripped off his protective mask he always try to maintain. It's like how family members would interact, exceptionally relaxed. Even his words are so kind, so brotherly. In my state of daze, Saki has left and there was only the 2 of us in the empty cafe.

By now, i saw him sigh in relief. He sees my confusion and maybe even anger, then he turned his back against me, infuriating me even more.

"If you have laid a finger on him, things would have been really grave"

I went in front of him, faced him with the intention to question him for letting Saki off "What do you mean? He tried to hurt me just now..."

"He didnt mean it."

"Are you serious? Did you see what he did?! If you didnt come in time, he would probably have murdered me or something..." 

The way Saki utters Ryosuke's name, the way Ryosuke protects him regardless of right or wrong, it makes me rethink their relationship. Can it be that they are much more than just colleagues and even friends... Ryosuke, with his good looks, he should have a girlfriend, but if he doesnt, could it mean he has a different preference? 

"I saw everything."

"Then why... Why did you let him off?!! He..."

Finally Ryosuke seems to have no other choice, but reveal something more shocking than anything else. "He is autistic. He doesnt know how to express himself. He used to keep to himself and only after he worked here, his condition got better. If you had hit him just now, you would send him back to his old self."

I was shocked beyond words, froze there like a woodblock. Ryosuke didnt appear surprise by my reaction, he turns around and explained "he merely wants to be your friend, but dont know how to approach it.  In fact, I think the only thing he did wrong here is to forget the fact that it will be difficult to ever find a friend who can accept him. He is not like you who can easily be accepted or be brave to seek friendship. People like him are never given a place in this world, so friendship to them is both an unknown and forbidden." Ryosuke became more agitated as he spoke, and I became more ashamed by my  behaviour. My eyes welled up in tears as I felt more than sorry for Saki, I felt disgusted by myself. i was almost an irritant, not just to Ryosuke, but to people around him as well. I almost caused irreparable damage to someone's life.

"Sorry~ You should be afraid, you should feel hurt by what happened. It's normal to feel so, and I shouldnt be taking it on you" he softens. 

"Ryosuke..."

"Listen to me, dont come here anymore. It will only make things worst for Saki."

There, he said it. I broke down in tears, or rather I cried hard, real hard. I refused to face him in my state of ugly, so I lowered my head and cried like no tomorrow.

"Hey... Why are you crying... It's just a book cafe..." He took pieces of tissue and passed it to me. 

"No... It's not just a cafe. I will lose this friendship too..." I said in between my non-stop wailing. Once it came out of my mouth, I hate myself cause that line is so brainless and so embarrassing. Did he see it as a confession? 

"Are you kidding me? You are crying because you cant be my friend?..." He sounded annoyed, then he went closer to me and placed his hand on my head. "Not meeting here doesnt end a friendship. We stay near each other, we study in the same school in case you forget"

I quickly wiped my tears and looked up to him with my red eyes and Rudolph nose. He is probably wondering why I am staring at him so intensely. A smile then crept up my face, deliberately intended to be a smile of mischief.

"What?" He asked then backed off step by step as I closed in on him.

"You admit that we are friends!!! Yeahhh!!!" I cheered. 

His helpless face is hilarious, "No, i did not say so...can you stop it?"

"It's implied..." I followed him to a point we ended up chasing each other once again. We're having so much fun, i didnt realise i have recovered from the incident earlier, and more importantly I did not remember myself calling for help, until a third voice echoed in my ears. That third person busted into the cafe and shouted, "Mirai, are you okay?!! Is it him?! Did he try to hurt you?!" Kento pulled me to his side. He is uptight and is very concerned about whether I am injured.

"Ryosuke didnt hurt me, he saved me. To put it rightfully, he saved me from hurting another person."

"you go ahead first. I will lock up the door..." Ryosuke impatiently told me then resumed to packing his stuff and treated us as air. It was awkward after Kento made that wrong accusation, so I had to leave, with Kento. Besides, I did call for help. 

When we were walking out, I took another glance at Ryosuke who was obviously waiting for us to go far before he actually lock up the place. On the other hand, Kento looked at me with his unwavering glare. I know I owe him an explanation. I did tell him the whole story just so he wouldnt misunderstand Ryosuke and worsen his hatred for him. But I also did not over share about Saki cause it really isnt too nice. All Kento knows is he is autistic.

"Thanks senpai. Sorry to trouble you. I tried calling everyone I know but no one picked up except you. I really dont have much friends," I chuckled bitterly. 

"Dont worry. With your cheerful attitude to life, you will get alot of friends. You're still new anyway"

"I hope... Senpai, there's a bookstore nearby right?"

"Yes, why?"

"I think I wanna drop by the bookstore. You can leave actually, I'm alright now"

"Im free, and I dont mind burning some time to make a detour, lets go there together..."

It doesnt hurt to have someone accompany me anyway, so I gladly agree. The bookstore is just some streets away, but i swear it felt like it is a decade long walk. There is pauses in our deliberate conversations, especially when most of the time it revolves around the bookcafe and Ryosuke. 

"Ah there it is!" I am so glad we finally reach. I knew exactly what I am looking for so I rushed right to that section. The title says it all, so it isnt hard for me to find the one I want - Autism and what you need to know.

"Mirai, why are you choosing this book?"

"Ryosuke is right..." Every single word Ryosuke has said when he told me about Saki is repeated in my mind like a recording. "He merely wanted to be my friend" I muttered to myself. "I am going to do my best to be his friend! It doesnt have to be the other way round, I can be the one who works harder"

"Mirai, these people cannot control themselves, they..."

"Saki is kind. He just doesnt know how to express himself"

"Did Yamada tell you this? He is the last person who should be telling you anything..."

"Senpai, please... I think autism is not a crime. Saki deserves to have friends too."

"Mirai!" Someone called my name. I look beyond a few shelves and saw Daiki running towards me. donned in a white long sleeve top and jeans, he quickly got to me and Kento. 

"Who are you?" kento stood between us, extremely protective. Daiki didnt seemed pleased, instead angered. 

"Who~" Daiki smirked then glared at me. 

"It's okay senpai. He's my brother."

"You come over now and lets go home right now." He pulled me to his side and dragged me along. 

"chotto chotto... Let me buy this book first. And Bye Senpai, thank you and see you in school tomorrow!"

Kento revealed an awkward smile. I could only watch as I got dragged out. Once we are back on the quiet streets, i have to face Daiki whose face is as dark as the gloomy sky. 

"Niichan... Are you angry?" I popped my face in the front bravely to face the music. I pouted, then he pushed my face away. I will not give up pleasing him, however, he brushed past me with his body. I stumbled slightly, yet this topples my tolerance.

"What's wrong with you?!"

He didnt answer me. I stormed after him to keep the distance close, but i feel far, distanced. 

I look at his backview and I realise, I have been too naive, too optimistic to think that our relationship has stood the test of time. I think too highly of my capability that I can adapt well to a new environment. The truth is, I am not managing, I am barely getting the hang of life in Tokyo. I am too obsess with making these new relationships that I have forgotten it takes two hands to clap. Perhaps, everything I thought I conquered thus far was a mirage, a wishful idea that I force onto others. With Daiki, with Umika, with Kento, with Saki, and especially for Yamada whom is most unrelated to me, I could possible be like a rodent, clinging on them.

I find myself alone, sat in the dark living room, rethinking my position, rethinking about my tyranny to those around me. Maybe, I am too noisy, too concerned about myself. I cupped my ears as the thunder roared, closed my eyes as the lightning flashed, shut my own heart as I felt it trembles.

I am alone.