Mirai POV

The feeling of solidarity burns inside me. I feel at times, suffocating. I refuse to be an eye sore and a burden to my brother, or anybody else, so I left home earlier. With my heavy eyelids on too of my eyebags, I drag my feet to school. I decide to walk despite the physical exhaustion from the sleepless night. No matter how beautiful the scenery is, how therapeutic the walk seems to be previously, everything has instantly turned dull and colourless. I past the same architecture, and dismissed the urge to stop at the one book cafe that draws me dearly for its warmth. The people inside must be celebrating my absence. I sped past the cafe and concentrated on my road to school. My sole burns in the hour of walking, but the tiredness cannot be compared to the wrenched up feelings within me.

I reach school and heads straight to my classroom. I sit there for another whole hour alone, dazed, zombified, before my classmates started streaming in.

"Mirai... Kento came to save you from some kind of danger yesterday, is it?" Umika urgently asks as soon as she arrives in class.

"Sorry. I won't call him again. I didnt have a choice. I will make sure I wont go near him again if it makes you feel better"

"Mirai, what are you saying?"

"I wont be a burden to him. So dont worry, Umika."

"Are you okay? I didnt mean that...i..."

Umika is cut off by sensei's greetings to the class. Sora only streams in then, making it easier for me to maintain that isolation of mine. I don’t feel I need to explain myself, rather I feel this should have been the way it is from the beginning if it was not for my senseless enthusiasm. I am setting things right. Umika obviously alerted Sora, so when lunch break comes, they let off no opportunity to speak to me. I shrug them away and walk on alone, head towards the rooftop. I sit there stationary in the silence for a long time, until I intuitively retrieve my phone and ran through my miserable phone list. I call that number which I refrain so badly, I finally gave in.

“moshi moshi, Rika?”

“MIRAI!!! You finally called. The rest are with me too, let’s do video!” the clique cheered in unison.

I really want to, but they’ll see my unhappiness, they’ll see my tears, they’ll see the truth. I cannot disappoint them.

I remember the day they bidded me farewell. Those 5 adorable friends of mine, Rika, Nami, Keito, Yudai, Kamiki each gave me a hug and specifically told me to live well. Yudai’s farewell was the most unbearable one for me. We are the power duo, and when he said those parting words, neither of us could hold back the tears.

“Don’t miss us okay… move on in your life and find friends as good as us…. Promise me something, will you, Mirai?”

“ne?”

“Make sure you live better than when you are here… or we will not forgive you for leaving us”

“Yudai, I will miss you… I will miss all of you” I cried. He is seldom gentle with me, but when he lightly brushed my tears from my face, I feel that softness in his hands, his fingers. My heartbeat that moment, I could still remember, it was rapid, it was unstable.

I will, I promise him then. In my mind, at that moment, I am fearful of what life in Tokyo will be, how I will adapt, but I promise to smile my brightest. I am sorry, minna, I failed.

“My video function is a little faulty. We can do it next time…” I lied.

“Mirai, how are you?” Kamiki took the lead to ask.

“Great! I made many friends, and they are all nice to me… Just as I promised, ne”

“that’s great!”

“where’s Yudai?” I realise a missing voice amongst the rukus.

“… he… he is out with his new girlfriend” Nami explained.

My heart sank, but gradually I realise I am the only one who is still stuck where I have left off. The rest of them have moved on, gotten used to my absence. I haven’t. Nami got attached with her all-time crush, Takaki Yuya from senior class; Rika and Kamiki are seeing each other too. Keito is captivating girls ever since he took center stage with his acoustic guitar. And now, even Yudai, my best friend, my childhood friend, has moved on, finally finding his other half.

“Mirai~ shall we meet soon?”

It’s not possible now. I can’t go back to them anymore.

“We’ll see. I will let you guys know when I am free, but it will not be soon.”

“alright…”

“bye for now, Mirai, we need to go off now..”

The phone disengaged. I am back along, sitting with my back leaned against the wall, crying hard. I am indeed useless. Kamisama has to punish me with something rather hard that fell right in between my knees. I pick it up and it is a packet of Ribena. While the tears have clouded my view, I could see the outline of the person in front of me. In disbelief, I brush my tears away and it reveals the angel? No, devil?

“Ryosuke?”

“drink it even if you don’t feel like eating. It can prevent your anaemia from acting up. How many times do you wanna experience it since you came Tokyo.”

“why are you here? I am trying not to be anyone’s burden already. You are making it hard for me…”

“aren’t you forgetting, this is my premises. You are the intruder”

I turn around, and see what he meant. It is his lunch spot. I sighed, realising that I don’t even have a place to hide. Maybe the toilet?

"I am a burden to everyone. Maybe i should take this friendship goal a few steps back. I think I am suffocating the people around me with my obsession with this goal. Even my brother. "

"It doesnt seem you to give up so easily? Your life goal to friendship..." He says as I walk towards the exit to the roof. "Did something happen after your brother found you?"

"How did you know?" I turn back to him in surprise. There's no way he knows my brother picked me up yesterday after I left with Kento. Come to think of it, I dont even know how Daiki knows where to find me.

"He ran to the cafe yesterday shortly after you left. I told him that he can probably find you at the nearby bookstore..."

"But how did you know I will go there... I didnt say it at all?"

"So I was right" he smirked. I sat on the ground opposite him and listens closely to his explanation which sounds completely amazing, "It's a wild guess. Seeing how you make friends, you will probably try to see how to get to Saki. If I am not wrong, you will wanna understand Saki a bit better...so a book on autism should help"

That moment, Ryosuke seems like a genius mindreader. As for the person he read correctly, i feel touched that someone in this foreign land understands me so so well. I grab both of his hands, in excitement, shaking it hard and fast.

"Hey hey hey..." He shrugs me off and gestured me to back off. He does not seem to be annoyed though.

"You understand me so well, best friend!!"

"Wait wait, hold it girl... I generally understand people quite well, so it's not just you.. And since when are we best friend?~" 

"You'll see" I feel energetic again, regardless of how much he denied. He does remind me a little of Yudai, minus the part where he always refuse me. I gulp down the Ribena bursting with sweetness, then sits beside him quietly. He breaks his red bean bread into half and offers me without a word. 

"Thank you!" I gladly take it with my two hands and added "best friend" behind everything I say to him. Strangely it doesnt seem to be resisting it, instead I thought I saw him smile. Am I imagining?

"So... You have not answered me, what happened?"

I am not confident to answer, I don't really want to end up crying in front of him again. He already saw me in that state, twice. No one else did, except him, to have seen me like this since I came to Tokyo.

"If you are not gonna say, I shall guess. Okay?"

I look at him in anticipation and he proceeds.

"You think you are a burden to all your friends and your brother cause you cant do anything right. Yesterday's incident, you feel you didnt manage well, making it awkward for both Kento and your brother. As for your classmate, Kawashima-san, she is jealous of you for being close to Kento in such short time... You feel awkward and very careful with her now, am I right?"

"You are really good at this... How did you know everything, including Umika's secret... Im sure she didnt tell anyone about it"

"Everyone knows she has a crush on Kento. I am sure he knows too..."

"He knows?! Then why didnt he just tell her his feelings too. They are so compatible"

"Well, things dont work like this. He probably pretended not knowing because he is not confident of himself. To put it simply, he is afraid he will hurt her."

"If they both like each other, they definitely can make it work right. Shunning the topic just cause one party is afraid, is really not worth it."

"I think his lack of confidence has to do with his own heart. The way I see it, I think he has someone else he likes."

"Who?!"

"I think that person is quite slow too, perhaps she will find out soon."

I have to admit, I was a little annoyed when he refuses to share.

"In any case, I have to be careful of my interactions with Kento cause I dont know when I will trigger Umika's sensitivity. I have to be careful of my brother too cause it turns out I dont understand him as much as I used to. I dont know the place I am living studying in too. I kinda miss my life back in Kyoto... It's a plain life back then, but it's simple and not complicated as now"

"You just have to be confident with yourself. Like you say, you probably are overly obsessed with making new friends that you neglected other things that matters. These other things are what keep relationships together... Respect, Care, Concern, Trust. More importantly, have faith in yourself. You dont need a lot of friends, you only need 1 or 2 best friends to share your happiness and grief together. Frankly, you have no issues making friends because you are healthy. No one will shun from you. So dont worry. Think about it, how bad can it be... At the very most, you have zero friends. You wont die from it."

I heard him clearly, every single word tugged my heartstrings. He has given me an enlightenment, an assurance and a direction. He points out to me my mistakes and guides me on solving them. He clear up the areas I cannot interpret and simplify them for me. I am in awe, I am thankful.

"Arigatou...I will take a step back and try to enjoy what I already have." I stand up in a much lifted mood. 

"The way I see it, your brother is really anxious about you yesterday. Try talking to him. The issue just needs some detangling."

"... Ryosuke..."

"Yes?"

"I am glad I found someone in Tokyo who understands me. I really wish for you to be my friend. If you wanna ask me why I am so persistent, the truth is, I dont really know too. But I feel like I wanna share many many happy things, sad things, angry things with you. If you are reluctant, I can understand, but i wanna let you know that you are definitely my friend. Not only you, I will show you that I can be Saki's friend too. I mean it sincerely. And if I succeed, i hope you can grant me one wish. Bye!"

"Ne?! A transaction? Hey hey, I didnt agree. Hey Shida Mirai!"

I rush off after my mushy speech. I have poured out all my feelings, and it's only short of telling him that I have a crush on him. He is so smart, I hope he didnt see through it though. I am glad I saw him, cause I did feel so much better. 

"Mirai~" Umika came running to me. 

"What happened?" I react to her frenzy. 

"Dont ask, just come with me..." She pulls me to where the school's backyard. There is a picnic mat. Sora is sitting on the mat with her guitar. I still dont understand what's going on, especially there isnt a crowd. 

"Mirai, Mirai... Come sit down. We haven't officially celebrated our new friendship so I wanna dedicate this song to you. You have been a great friend so far, and i want you to know I am glad this friendship started. For me, for Umika too, we wanna gift this song to you. What we also wanna say is that if it wont be easy to adapt to a new environment, and if you ever need us, dont even hesitate. Cause we will always have your back covered. I wrote this not too long back, and i hope you like it ," Sora said with a bright smile then once I did, she took up a guitar, made some adjustments and off she started strumming on it. The melodious strings gave such beautiful pop sounds that blends so nicely with the song she sings. I am captivated by her beauty. It is so amazing, and if I am not gonna film it down for Daiki, it is gonna be a wasted opportunity for him to fall for Sora. There's no way he is not the least bit attracted to Sora once he sees this video clip.

Somehow, the private perform for 2 of us turns out to be a performance for a enormous crowd of students. I turn around and saw Kento smiling in pride for her sister's performance. And there as a corner, I see Ryosuke... He is standing in a corner spot, away from the crowd but close enough to hear what Sora said. I have a brief eye contact with him before he walked off, and even though it was merely a subtle smile, I could see his encouragement that things is better than I imagined earlier.

Thank you, Ryosuke. 

***
It is rare for Daiki to find a night where he can just take a slow walk home. Everyday is hectic with cases of death one after another. Sometimes he wondered if he smells of blood after visiting the crime scene. Donning his favourite v-neck white tee with a pair of jeans, he dragged his feet home nervously with his mind preoccupied with what he heard in the book cafe which he had decided to pop in formally.

He sat at one corner of the cafe, the most comfortable one in the area. He only ordered a piece of cake, cause he didnt really have the appetite. Frankly, he cant quite take his eyes that one barista who seems to easily capture the hearts of girls and he wondered if Mirai has already fell into trap. But then again, he cant exactly feel the anger towards him. Though the interaction with him was limited to the 1 opportunity that night where he was looking for Mirai, tonight he saw a more indepth side of that barista - both professionalism and committed. He has questions about that barista, how his guess about Mirai's whereabouts be so accurate? What exactly is their relationship? Has she already got herself tangled in some complex web of relationships?

He broods alone, almost going into a recluse until he was startled hours later by a cup of tea which gave off a aroma of earl grey. 

"It's you..." He asked the intruder.

"You were expecting me isnt it? Anyway, i believe this will help calm your nerves alittle" the intruder pointed to the cup of tea and he drank it without any further questions.

"I am Yamada Ryosuke."

"Mirai's friend, ne?"

Ryosuke didnt respond and Daiki didnt press further. 

"I shall formally introduce myself then. I am Shida Daiki, im Mirai's elder brother. Im working as a Homicide Detective with the Tokyo Police"

"That's cool."

"I shant beat around the bush. How were you so sure yesterday the whereabouts of my sister and the exact book she will purchase?"

"Firstly, let me apologise on behalf of my friend Saki whose actions have caused much distress to you. As for my guess involving Mirai, it's just that I have always been able to read people quite well."

"Even if you are good, you must know her well enough."

Ryosuke neither agreed nor rebut his conjecture. "Mirai isnt good at hiding emotions, so that makes it much easier to decipher her mind. Moreover, her personality is pretty clear to me..."

"... Ryosuke, I thought I understood her. Turned out I am not even at your level and you knew her barely a month... I was so angry when she didnt bother to keep me updated after she called me and texted me for help only once yesterday. Does she not know I will be worried?! She is so irresponsible."

"... She is quite absentminded, clumsy and there's basically so many things in her mind she wants to consider but lacks the mental capacity... There's something about her though, which you may have missed..." 

Daiki looks at him with a blank face. 

"She appears very hyperactive, cheerful and willing to take on new challenges."

"That's true, but why do you make it sound like a bad thing."

"If it is real, then I think there's nothing bad about it. But it might all actually be a facade she wish to construct So she makes herself seem totally independent so she never be shunned by people for being a burden. She may be forcing herself to please people and hide all her emotions. Deep down, she could possibly be afraid of loneliness or even fear this new community.  The latter is almost inevitable for those who just moved here isnt it?"

"How is it i never saw this side of her? Im her brother, not her friend. What's there to hide from me"

"Well precisely because you are his brother, you are probably the last person she wants to annoy. She wants to prove to you she is more independent than you think..."

Daiki sighed at he presumptions which sort of cleared many of his doubts. "She has been quite brave compared to other girls when she was much younger. I didn't expect whatever you said earlier... Perhaps I just wasn't as observant as you... I thought too lightly of the challenges she may face to adapt to this new environment."

"Tokyo is very different from Kyoto."

"What else did she say to you? Who are her friends? Oh and that Yamazaki Kento... Who? "

"She didn't say much. I didn't tell her much either. It's not for me to comment more about her personal life nor her friends." Ryosuke stood up to leave Daiki to himself.

"See you!" Daiki replied minimally, knowing that even if he asked again the relationship between him and Mirai, he wouldn't answer.

As he returns home, he saw 3 girls in combat mode - not that sense of combat but rather tackling the different subjects. There are piles of notes, and from a distance he could see numbers he once hated. 

"welcome home..." the two girls greeted. Umika introduces herself.

"Hi ladies~" Daiki greets with a vibrant smile on his face. 

"Don't worry about us and rest well. We will keep it down, niichan" Mirai rattled while her head buries into the notes. He is exhausted but seeing them work so hard, he feels quite energised. He walks to the kitchen then brings out a tray of rose tea.

"Heh?" The three girls look at him then excitedly took his offers gladly with a loud thank you. He sits on the empty seat beside Sora and silently watches them in action.

"Mathematics is hard to be anyone's best friend. I'm glad I no longer have to face it anymore" 

"Umika is good at it though. She's our class mathematics queen" Sora responds.

"Wow! You do have a promising future... Hmm Mirai, looking at your state now, it seems you are the opposite..." He chuckles, with the rest laughing along. Mirai pouts in retaliation, erupting more laughs. The trio study stint for their upcoming exams got more lighthearted with Daiki joining them in moral support. There is laughters, there is even some heart-racing moments for Sora too especially when he curiously looks at her doing work. Mirai witnesses this moments and feels glad she has incidentally helped Sora. There is this particular moment when everyone is asleep on the table that she sees an adorable side of Sora. Sora is quietly watching Daiki asleep with his head facing towards her side, and hers facing his side. Mirai saw her unwavering glance and smirked as she continued to observe Sora. It was like Sora couldn't handle the temptation anymore, she caressed his hair lightly so that he wouldn't wake up by her. Mirai held onto her giggles and then decided that she is satisfied by the developments and peacefully retreated into her own dreamland.

When the next morning came, she finds herself in the comfort of her own room. She stumbles to the living room to see her notes packed nicely and a plate of pancakes topped with strawberries and a cup of milk. There below the plate is a piece of note.

"Morning sleepyhead,

I am sending the rest of them home to freshen up before school starts. Have your breakfast, don't skip it since you have anaemia. And about that day, I'm sorry for ignoring you. It's hard to say it to you directly cause I'm not good with mushy lines... Hope you can forgive and forget:) i just want you to know, if there's anyone you ever want to fall back on, there's me. 

See you at home tonight, I'll cook dinner!

Love, 
your most annoying brother."

"Baka..." She cracked up in laughters. She feel loved, from her new friends, from her brother. Everything that seems like it is not working suddenly became optimistic again. "Perhaps, like what Ryosuke has said, i should take a step back and let nature take its course, just be contented with what I'm having now."

****

The exam period sees the school in dead silence. No one has the mood to do anything but be absorbed into books books and more books. Teachers and students are all having consultations sessions to address any roadblocks encountered during revisions. Mirai thought the mood is too sombre so she departed from the trio and went to the rooftop instead. She was surprised to see Kento there, engrossed with his phone.

"Senpai~ what are you doing?" She curiously pops her head beside him and sees him playing a game. "Aren't you worried for exams later?"

"Worried, yes" he keeps his attention on the game, not at all turning to look at Mirai.

"Then how come you're not doing your revisions?"

"I don't believe in scrambling at the last minute. What you can remember during your revisions should sink into your mind already, and what you cant remember, you won't be able to even if you force yourself to at the final minute."

"Hmmm, that seems to make sense."

"Try separating from your books, i think that helps better..." He snatched the book from her in that split second, leaving her in quite a shock. 

"Hey!!" She shows her annoyance with a pout that makes him want to even more. He stretches out his hand high, making it impossible for her to reach given her height. She hops and jumps but to no avail.

"See how you can handle the master tickler..." She begins the most 'cruel' punishment of all, tickling him the way she did to her brother when they were younger. Back then, when she used this method, she always get what she wants. Without holding back, she aims for his underarm that is raised for her attack.

"Ahhhhhhh!! Hey hey, it's itchy... You're a girl..." Kento is partly shy and partly struggling to keep his agony contained. It is undeniably his sensitive spot, and Mirai is not the least bit guilty of tormenting him, instead she gets much joy from it. She has never gotten such a hearty laughter since she left Kyoto, left the comfort of her childhood friends. Kento and Mirai ended up chasing each other, mostly the latter giving the former a hard time. "How Judo master, you can't handle me now, ne."

"Oh oh that is war..." Kento decides to retaliate, running towards Mirai instead.

"Ahhhhh..." Mirai cannot react fast enough, and in a matter of a split moment, Kento has caught on to her, throwing her over him, but careful not to let her land on the ground. She rest nicely, comfortably on his arms with their face only an inch apart. She could feel her own heart pounding fast and hard, and the heat flushed up to her face. She dont know where to place her hands, except naturally placed in front of her, against his chest.

If it wasn't for the sound of footsteps that indicated they weren't alone, neither of them would have known how to end this awkward moment. In fact, Mirai thought they were both immersed into each other's aura and presence that became drawn closer, almost like the proximity became more negligible than ever.

"Ryosuke~" Mirai sprung away from Kento as soon as she realised who the unintended intruder was. The novel on Ryosuke's hand remind me that this was his usual spot and they instead were the intruders.

"Wait Ryosuke..." She wants to explain. He didnt stop for her, but he froze when Kento called him.

"Oi... Yamada. I'm thinking if you'll join us for a short getaway after the exams and still make it back for cultural festival."

He didn't answer. Mirai thought it's a good sign. With his usual composure, he would have turned it down right away. She wanted to carry on Kento's request, yet surprisingly he is the one who continued insisting.

"It's to welcome Mirai to Tokyo too. She said she wants you to come, cause you're her friend... Aren't you?"

"Ryosuke, please..." Mirai rushed up to him then popped her head in front of his cold expression and gave him a puppy dog face. He walks off, without any sign of acceptance nor rejection. 

"As usual, rude. I don't understand why you are so kind to such rudeness."

"He is kind, it's just that he is not good at expressing... "

"Oh, is it.."

The mutual feelings of shyness has dissipated and overtaken by the sarcastic remarks. It is shown all over her face.

"Alright alright. As long as you are convinced he is the way you see him. I will try to keep an open mind." 

Mirai could perfectly take his suggestion, cause it is also when the bell rang. They walked their ways to their respective halls for the examination. It's the last paper irregardless. Any anticipation has to be held back for at least another 2 hours. For Mirai, after the 2 hours, means much more than mere freedom. 

She would really hope she can bring Umika and Sora that wonderful book cafe but she is afraid she will scare of the one person she hopes to befriend. "Saki! Hi, can i have your specialty sandwich." She sits herself right at the bar table where he is. She looks at him with a smile which he reacts in a petrified state.

She chuckles then says, "you okay? You look stunned... You don't wanna see me?"

"... I thought ..."

"You thought i dont wanna see you anymore?" She speaks his mind and he nodded.

"I'm not so narrow minded. Saki, can you give me a chance to be your friend?"

"You know my problem right? I almost hurt you that day"

"Yes I know, and yes that day could have been worst but that's because I didn't understand you then. Now i hope you give me that chance to learn to be your friend."

"That should be me, learning to be yours"

"It works both way. That's friendship, a mutual accommodation of differences between each other. Saki, there's a lot for me to learn from you too. So, shall we?" 

"Mirai~" he looks perplexed but slowly released his tension. When Mirai sees his lips curled in a crimson, she knows things already seems brighter. Ryosuke knows too, as she notice him standing by the corner of the store, witnessing probably the entire duration, with the same subtle smile, mild but obvious to the heart. She scurried towards him like a hamster, then cheekily remarked "how... Are you impressed with me?"

"Not at all. It's your own choice." He tries to make an escape but she did a kabedon on him instead.

"Oh really. I saw you smile." She smirks while he goes into panic. He pushes her away with annoyance, refusing to entertain her cheeky provocation. 

"So you going... ?" She repeats over and over again, like a broken tape recorder. She buzz around him, annoying him at all cost while he works in the otherwise quiet cafe. 

"What's it into you even if I go? Why do you have to make me?"

"It'll be fun!"

"Fun is for you, not me. I don't like such social events, plus it's your friends not mine."

"But you are my friend... " Mirai mumbles as she begins to realise she is getting overboard in her request. She doesn't want to end up losing Ryosuke as a friend if she continues being forceful. "Sorry. I guess you're right. You have no reason to accede to my request". She slouches and drags her feet out of the cafe. 

"Hey..."

"Ne?" Mirai say lethargically.

"Are you gonna listen to me with your back facing me?" He remarks sarcastically. She turns around as instructed with drooping eyes like she is not expecting any good from him.

"If you want me to go, you need to at least tell me where right?"

"Oh my gosh! You are willing to do it for me?!!"

"Oh oh oh that's too strong a statement... I did it for Saki. Just take it that I'm returning a favour. If you hadn't have came and assure him you are okay, his condition will only go downhill. So thanks... And please don't misunderstand my motives okay."

"Whatever... Thanks Ryosuke! Let me have your phone number, I'll text you the details." Her excitement only gets in exchange his reluctance. On the contrary, She watches his key in his number in her phone with full of happiness.

***

Mirai POV

The day has come! I am exhilarated. For once, it was me dragging my brother out of bed. Finally, getting to go on my first ever roadtrip with my dear friends and my brother, to explore the raved city and it's surrounding beautiful landscape. We agreed to meet outside the school so Daiki and I decided to take a walk there. Fortunately our bags aren't heavy. We chat, about the lost times, but nothing that got us teary. We got pass the cafe and i slowed down my steps with my eyes shifting towards it.

"Looking for someone?" Daiki propped his head beside me and gave a half evil, half mischievous smile.

"I'm just being a concerned friend to see if he is on his way already..."

"He is unlikely to be at the cafe if he is on the way... You are thinking he probably won't turn up?"

"He will. I hope."

"How much do you know him though? I encountered him twice, and I think he is smart, and cool actually. He can easily have a line of girlfriends"

"He is single. And he is quite introverted, i feel... Or maybe introverted isn't really the right word. I can't explain it, but he just prefers quietness and values his personal space. He is very independent too"

"Can't comment on the introvert part since I barely know him. But yes, he is independent and that's a good thing. His preference for Peace in life probably keeps your hyperactivity in check. So Approved."

"Niichan!" I annoyingly stormed ahead of him after giving him a slap on the back. Daiki laughed before trying to chase after me and call for ceasefire. Just before we know it, the school is right ahead of us.

"Kento, Umika, Sora!" I shouted as i saw them. I am already feeling the disappointment when I did not see Ryosuke around.

"Shall we go already?" Kento said first. I couldn't hide my upset feelings written all over my face by now.

"We should wait a while more for Mirai's friend" daiki and Sora said almost at the same time. Immediately Sora blushed. How could both guys not see that fluster on Sora's face. Guys are really quite slow sometimes. Kento, being a casanova, should know the signs of a girl's crush on a guy. But he seemed oblivious. Only me and Umika exchanged glances of mutual understanding.

"Oh, Mirai, he's here!" Daiki alerted. I turned to my back and I saw Ryosuke approaching us. He wears a pair of denim jeans and a few plain white teeshirt, simple and already very attractive. If any modelling firm would look for a minimalist style model, I am almost sure both Ryosuke and Kento would be chosen immediately. For someone as reluctant to come along as him, he doesn't show that he is shy. He is not looking down like what my idea of an introvert would react in a clique. Instead, he is calmly awaiting for reaction, looking into their eyes, as if expecting something. I did notice the mood became alot more tense and strangely sombre, and i think Daiki felt the same. It is all until Kento broke the silence.

"Just on time. We thought you are gonna be late... Guys, I don't think we need a round introduction for everyone to know anyone right?" Kento seems skilled as an ice-breaker. I am honestly impressed.

"I don't know if you know me, I'm yamazaki Sora, his sister !" Sora as usual showed her bubbly side to Ryosuke. I did see him smile to her, quite sweetly. It's definitely nothing like how he would react when we first met. I am jealous I guess. "Welcome to our roadtrip." She exclaimed brightly. He smiled again. I should be happy, cause things are looking better than i thought. I have to get over the jealousy somehow. Umika seems as usual more reserved, and Kento hostile as ever. Fortunately, Daiki and Sora gave good hospitality. 

The rented roadtrip car is a convertible. We decided to open up the top to get the fresh air as we drive on the road along the sea side. Ryosuke volunteered to drive, so I enthusiastically volunteered myself beside the driver but Kento took that seat instead. Why would he ever sit beside the person he dislike. I raged within. I took the seat behind Ryosuke, with Umika beside. We agreed to give Sora a chance to sit with Daiki at the back of the car. It was a telepathic agreement, since neither of us discussed it. We smirked among ourselves.

There were small pockets of time where we converse, and it's mostly Daiki trying to understand how the school has changed since he graduated. I wouldn't know better so I'm glad to hear from Umika, Sora and Kento. Ryosuke was almost silent unless someone asks him a question specifically. Usually those would be the backseaters Sora and Daiki. But such conversations are rare and particularly short. Ryosuke was very conservative when it comes to questions on his personal or school life. At least now i know that these are probably the taboo questions. And then it comes the questions about likes/dislikes and most importantly, love preference. No one is exempted from being grilled questions after questions. So Kento was quirky with his response but what I got out from his description is a girl who is not too feminine and she must be independent. That sounds like the traits of his very own sister. I chuckled. Then Umika shared hers, reluctantly. She glanced at me to save her from the ordeal but i decided to leave her to face the confession. She managed to tactfully keep the description as vague as possible - and it was a guy who is dependable, can give her security and is decisive. That can really be anyone. Daiki falls right into the sterotype of men, interested in girls who have model figure and sharp features. He isn't even that tall in the first place to attract a tall girlfriend. Sora clearly looks disappointed as she already falls short of his expectations. In a less hyped up tone, she said her ideal type is to be protective of her but gives her adequate personal space, and has to be fun-loving. I could tell from her glare that she is saying the opposite of Kento which the latter probably has sensed it. My answer was not exactly influenced by my impression of Ryosuke, but really someone i hope to meet all my life- a loving guy who cares for me. He doesn't have to be over concerned, but just be with me when I am down or share my happiness with me. I also want a guy who I can care for. All the time, i witness girls being over needy with their boyfriend and they can't really offer anything in return for the guys' love. I wanna be needed in a relationship too. I want to be there when he needs me. Somehow Ryosuke gave me that feel. Seeing him always alone (whether it's his preference or he doesn't have many friends) i just wanna sit by his side to keep him accompanied, even if we don't say anything. 

"Ryosuke, what about you?" Umika asked faster than I did. Wondered if she is asking it for me, and if yes, does it mean she saw through my interest?! I panicked, but tried my best to conceal it as much as I can. Since she has done me the favour of asking, I listened carefully to what he has to say.

"..." I heard only breathing sounds for at least a whole second. I couldn't see his expression until i straightened my back until my eyes is aligned to the front mirror. He appeared calm, but somehow I feel that there was some level of perplexed feelings. No one filled in the silence, it's like everyone insisted to hear him out. I thought it's too awkward to continue sustaining the silence so I was about to interject until he started answering, "someone down-to-earth and stand by me irregardless"

He sounded serious, and seems to be some underlying meaning but whatever it is, it sounds achievable. Daiki gave me a tap on the back and I didn't bother to turn cause I could almost imagine him winking in mischief. 

The drive turned immediately silent again. Sora decides to retrieve her guitar and soon she began strumming melodious tunes and familiar sing-along songs. We freely sang songs after songs as we move against the wind that brush against our skin. It is a refreshing and amazing drive, that eventually most of them lullabied themselves to sleep. Only the driver and I stayed awake. Besides his breathing sound, I couldn't hear if he is doing well.

"Ryosuke?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for coming."

"I promised."

"I hope you really enjoy though?"

"Mirai, can I ask you something? And you must just speak your mind."

"Yes?"

"I still don't understand why you wanna befriend me so much since our first encounter which isn't really that significant. I made it difficult for you and yet you persist. You even made me come this gathering with your friends. I really wanna know your motivation"

"... I.."

"We have time. You can say."

"You may have already figured by now, I'm not as fearless as I try to portray. The harder I try, the more I fumble. On my first day of school, I wanna give my best impression to get friends, I wanna be cool cause I'm not cool at all and no one will ever wanna befriend me. I am afraid to be lonely."

"When I helped you in the bus that day... You approached me because I make you feel less lonely?"

"Firstly, I was touched. You were the first person to help me, otherwise I thought my experience in Tokyo has been cold. Everyone is so busy in their lives, I feel so lonely. When you helped me, I thought finally someone cares. Even if you're just a stranger, I thought we can be friends. Secretly, my resolution before I came to Tokyo was to be daring in doing what I wanna do and not hesitate. It's foolish right?"

"It can be dangerous too. What if you befriend a murderer or something, that reckless decision will kill you."

"I guess~" I chuckled and he did too. I didn't expect myself to say what I have just said cause I never knew I had this answer in me all these while.

"Even if I told you I'm not as good as you think, even if I may end up hurting you... You are still gonna be my friend?.. I am not good with people. I could possibly be the opposite of you. I am alright with being hated and I guess being alone is fine for me. I can get used to it."

"Actually, Ryosuke... Whenever I see you sitting alone somewhere, I have the urge to sit beside you. Perhaps, it's my fear of being lonely that I don't want you to experience that... You should never get used to such feelings. No one deserves it.. Notwithstanding what others say, I think you are a nice person and that's enough to convince myself that you are my friend"

"Thanks Mirai...sincerely" I know will give a brighter road ahead. 

"Shall I get someone else to take of driving... It's tiring for you to drive for 5 hours now."

"I'm okay for now."

"At least let me give you a massage or something or you'll definitely get frozen shoulders." I didn't wait for his reply before pressing my hands on his shoulders. I felt the same static travelling through my limbs as soon as I braced his tough skin. I blushed, blocking out his voice of protest.

"Ahhh... Be careful!" The car swerved so abruptly, jerking everyone out of their dreamland. Everyone were as confused as I am. When we saw Kento's hands on the steering wheel, looking at Ryosuke with furious eyes, I realised what had happened.

"YOU ALMOST GOT ALL OF US KILLED!" Kento shouted. Ryosuke remained silent, and the entire car became quiet with heavy breathing. The sombre mood is hard to bear. My mind is like a whirlpool, making me nausea as I ponder if I had been the cause of the near accident and subsequently toppling the suppressed feud amongst the 2 guys. I looked at the emotionless face of Ryosuke and the harder I look, the more I thought I saw his fear. What can I do besides sitting at my seat, silent like a coward.