Mirai POV

There were many questions that surfaced in my mind as I am reminded of the empty seat of Ryosuke. Is he not feeling well, therefore his absence? Did he catch a flu? It was a heavy rain that day at the festival. My guilt level rose. It's hard not to delink myself from the cause. I waited for his classmates, excluding Kento, none of them know about the reason for his absenteeism. Apparently no one asked, not even the homeroom teacher spoke about it. His classmates didnt seem to care. It was almost like his presence isnt significant to anyone. I suppressed any choking feeling raising from my throats. I cant be seen in such disheveled state.

"Mirai!!! You are back!" Sora ran towards me with Umika close behind, and they both hugged me so tight that I almost fell over. I didnt know how much love was build within that. While I laid in their arms, I was glad my presence was, in contrast to Ryosuke, significant to the people around me. But at the same time, the contrast make me realise how blessed I was, and how sad it was for him that no one cares if he was there. 

"Can you forgive us?" Umika finally pulled away and asked. She sounded like she will cry at any moment.

"For what? You girls did nothing wrong."

Sora jumped in, "We didnt consider your feelings when we did that... We should have told you face to face first."

"I never got angry with you girls. I just needed some time alone. Im sorry for worrying you all. Im back now, and I wont escape like this anymore."

"We can be friends who you can count on from now?" Umika added.

"yes, yoroshiku onegaishimasu!" I bowed with a smile. Again, i found my way back into their embrace. In the midst of all the happiness, I could see Kento silently trailing off, with his head down. He did not even say hi, as if he was here only to make sure I was okay. 

"I have something to see to. see you girls in class!" I ran off, chasing after him. 

"Kento!" I shouted when my stamina caught up. He froze, only turning back to face me after repeated calls. I was almost too manly then. I didnt bother about my image, i wonder if it meant his impression of me didnt matter, cause I dont find the need for him to like me? Or was I just too comfortable with him without realising? 

"Shall we have a duel?" I asked.

"Heh?"

"If I win, you'll do whatever I say. 3 wishes" I said seriously then when he returned a puzzles look, I gave him a cheeky smile. And there we are, standing in the club practice room. I was determined to win him a second time and set my mind to do it. I gave him a smirk then we started the duel.

It's not far from what I expected. I threw him onto the ground every single time. That equates to almost 10 times in a row for only a span of 5 minutes. It's impossibly true. And at the 10th time, I pressed him down.

"You lost. Are you ready for my 3 wishes?"

He nodded, while trying to sit up. I really dont know why, but the proximity at this instance should have been disturbingly intimate, but it did not freak me out. It was effortlessly continued to press him down.

"You listen first...my first wish is... I hope nothing changed between us from that day you planned to show me Ryosuke's problem. Like I told Umika and Sora, Im not angry with any of you, though I dont agree with that nearly uncouth way of cornering him. Im not in the position to be angry anyway. It's between him and you, if there's any anger involved. I appreciate you showing me the truth, so dont shun from me like what you did just now"

"Mirai, but..."

I refused to let him continue, "That's the first, now for the second wish... I know you didnt want to do something so nasty, but you did it all to prove to me. I hope you wont have to put yourself through such unglamorous act that puts down your prestige."

I paused, not because he interrupted, but because it was the last point that I had difficulty saying. I may be a hypocrite, for saying something like this, but I really felt a strong need to. "Lastly, I hope you give yourself a chance to try to know Ryosuke. He may have a very unglamorous past, he may have lied, but I dont think its all his fault. In fact, I cant even pinpoint a fault. It was me who insisted to make him my friend. If not, he didnt have to lie."

"So you're going to continue being his friend, even after knowing all these? Mirai, what you saw and you heard that day was just a fragment of it. There's much more to him neither of us know, about his past..."

"I don't actually care what happened in the past... To me, he hasnt done anything to hurt me. I don't think he hurt you either. But I think what we did to him, was just horrible to any human. We stepped on his pride when he begged for us to listen or believe him. I broke my promise to him! " My knees felt all weak and I eventually couldn't hold my own weight and crashed onto the ground. 

It was horrible, I cried when I told myself to. These tears weren't the same as those days before. These tears are those of remorse. I finally saw my own reflection of what my own actions. I realised what my father described of discrimination is exactly what I did. I asked Kento to understand him and befriend him, I asked him to not judge Ryosuke, but I was guilty of all these. That view of him in the rain, waiting for me, at the festival, still burns in my memories. 

Kento brought me close and eventually I was wetting his sleeves with my loud wails. All that I have suppressed, in front of my parents, my childhood friends, are all released to Kento. He saw that ultimate weakness in me. I care no more. My heart was shattered. Whether is it to comfort me, or simply a white lie, Kento said in my ears "i will try... to befriend him..."

"Arigatou..." I pulled away then looked with gratitude into his eyes and my tears still trapped at one corner. 

"Baka...girls normally cry over me, and you are probably the first who is crying over someone else"

"You are occasionally a narcissist," I chuckled. He gently wiped away those left over tears around my eyes. 

Sora and Umika were standing at the door all these time, I supposed. When Sora called out to us, and Umika's eyes were floating around, deliberately avoiding ours, I knew she was sensitive again.

"Can I say everything is back to normal for all of us? Truce?" Sora took the lead and asked on behalf of all of them.

I nodded, but was vastly distracted. Perhaps I haven't got over my unstable emotions, so I raised my voice. "Umika. You should just say it. I am tired of being in between." I grabbed Sora's hands and took off from the room. "I'll leave the 2 of you to sort things out. Bye!" 

"Heh?" The three said in unison. Sora didnt have a choice but followed me. Once we are out of the room, I had an idea. I shut the door. I instructed Sora to watch the door while I rushed off to retrieve the key. Of course I didn't explain anything to her until I returned.

"What are you doing?"

"They are gonna spend the night together. That gives Umika long enough to fix things."

"Fix what?"

"Sorry Sora. But your brother needs to be locked in with Umika for a night... He needs to know that Umika has been hiding her feelings for him"

"Serious?!!!"

"You cant tell? She is too sensitive over him."

Sora is stunned to speak. I sighed. 

"Mirai, where are you going?"

"I am really tired. Anything we can talk tomorrow "

"Do we just leave them like this? Is gonna be cold at night..."

"They'll be fine. I'll open the door tomorrow."

"Mirai, you will be okay?"

I nodded. I was feeling the load on my shoulders, crumbling on me. Was it because there were too much emotions played today, and nothing was accomplished? I didn't see Ryosuke at his seat, and until I see him, I feel uneasy. I didnt answer in time before I ended in Sora's warm arms. She hugged me so tightly.

"I'll be his friend too."

"Heh?" I exclaimed in shock. "You dont have to force yourself if you don't want to."

"Im not. I was in a dilemma too since I heard of this. Frankly, I only knew it on the same day before we met for the road trip. umika and Kento told me he's the one you invited. That instance, I was shocked and worried just like them. But, when I actually interacted with him, he didn't feel like he is what people said. He was kind. It hits me hard when Ryosuke helped carry my stuff. I felt incredibly warm and fuzzy. It's like i feel touched by a guy who I had shunned away like everyone else. I was in guilt."

"I felt that too... I feel bad for treating him like this, Sora. He hasnt hurt me, yet when He asked me to give him a chance to explain, I left him there waiting blankly. He was in the rain, Sora... He didnt move an inch. I was the one who left heartlessly."

I broke down, hopelessly once again. I am glad Sora was here. She made me feel like someone finally understood my dilemma. No one did, except preach in extreme point of views, to hate or to openly accept. It's not the end decision I deliberate, it's the process of reconciliation of my different thoughts. Sora knew my difficulties. I am not alone.

I wandered around the streets, hoping to bump into him. I pass by the cafe, he isn't around. Saki saw me, he told me Ryosuke hasnt come for awhile already. He took leave indefinitely from the boss. I heard the absence started after that day of the festival. It made me realise, he seemed to have disappeared from the world, vanished.

I drag my legs with my heavy heart back home. Dazed, lifeless, I thought I left only my soul drifting. It gets harder and harder to even move another step, as though there's one force pushing me down. But there comes another force pulling me back up. The sight of my brother before me, lifted my spirit a little. I am happy to see him, to call him again.

"Niichan."

"Mirai, I am going to cut the long story short. I will respect whatever decision you make. I never intended to stop you from making friends with him. Yes, I was shocked to hear about his health, and I admit I didn't want you to get hurt in the process of befriending or even getting attached to him. But I know you better than anyone else even though we are apart for quite sometime. I know you are smart, you can protect yourself. Even if you cant, there's me. I want you to know, that even if you cant find anyone to support you, Im here. Im your brother, and I want you to fall back on me."

I didnt wait till he finished. I ran up to him, throw my entire weight on him, with my arms wrapped around his neck tightly, burring my face in his hair. his hands rubbed against my back, just like old days when he comforted me whenever my father punished me for misbehaving. Except this time, it was more of me hitting myself with my stupidity.

"Sorry for getting you worried. My note must have upset you"

"It's okay. Im just glad you are back. I'll be here if you ever wanna talk to me." He said to me after we returned home and back in the comfort of my bedroom. As he tugged me in bed, then gently brushed my fringe to reveal my exhausted face, he said "don't worry about him for now. Im sure you'll see him tomorrow."

Unfortunately, my brother was wrong. Days after days, there was no news of him. He didn't turn up for school and the teachers didn't know why. Their disinterest got me emotionally worked up everytime. If only I knew him better, then I may be able to contact his family or even visit his house. I realised I still barely knew him. Every day at the beginning or end of school, I will wait outside the class, hoping to see him approach the class, or simply to relieve my guilt. It's amazing how whenever I am watching at his seat, made me feel hopeful that he will just appear. Sora accompanied me on some days, Umika on others. The latter finally got alot more cheerful, just like the first day I met her in school... I am thankful she got things worked out between herself and Kento, even though he didn't exactly accept her. If I were to describe their state of relationship after the day I locked them up together, it has to be "It's complicated". What happened that night has to be one of the loveliest heart pounding story I heard in reality. It's nearly your drama plots that leave your breathe constantly taken away. Though Sora and I could only imagine from what Umika told us, it's detailed enough to make us yearn for our own story too.

So, apparently, Umika told Kento about how she felt. Sora and I guessed it took some beating around the bush, awkward silence, floating eye contact, deliberate change of topics, before she finally got to the point. She told him she liked him for a long time. Needless to say, he quickly draw the link between her affection and her joining the judo club. He must have realised how slow he was to realise the reason behind her irrational decision to quit her dream ballet to join the physical demanding judo, was him. He told her he is not being fair to her if he accepts her love now, since everyone knows he is blind enough to have a crush on me. I find it very amusing still, given that I have never been in any guy's radar, and my first is him who is one of the top 5 hottest guys in school. The ranking itself is a weird one since Ryosuke occupies one of the 5spots, despite the discrimination. The students could have easily just excluded him.

Anyway, you would have expected Kento and Umika to get even more awkward after he rejected her. Yet the cold night did a great job in pulling them together. Umika said Kento hugged her the entire night to keep her warm. That's the sweetest thing any guy would do. As listeners, Sora and I blushed. They should have been a perfect match if it's not because i was involuntarily stuck between them. 

After that night, things changed dramatically. Umika left the judo club and went back to ballet. She looks much happier and everything seems to be going good. The only thing is that she is spending much lesser time with us. She is always rushing off after class for ballet practice and it seemed to be for the inter-school competition. We have barely been able to catch up with her. Though, me neither. Since the incident, I have become more used to having alone time. Sora goes for her singing engagements, or shuts herself in the music room like she could easily separate herself from the world with her music. That’s her nice trait, but sometimes I feel she looks quite down, but don’t know the reason why.

So life just becomes duller. I thought maybe it will be like this until graduation which is 1.5 years from now, then I will make a choice to follow my brother’s shoes to work in Tokyo or return to Kyoto. Before that, even my ambition is a lost. To continue studying in university or to start work, that’s another question.

Today is exactly, 2 weeks from that fateful day. Just like everyday, I reach school way before everyone and I dazed stupidly at the entrance of the school from my class. It gives me the best view of everyone walking in. Anyway, I cant sleep for goodness sake. My eyebags are bigger than a panda. Until I resolved that nightmare of seeing Ryosuke in the rain and me unable to touch or go near him, I guess my insomnia is likely to continue. I am just too bored from looking at the same people going through the gates, that I started counting the number of students. It is also amazing how I can almost recognise everyone in the school compounds. Gradually, it’s the vision of Ryosuke that becomes blur.

“Ryosuke, if you don’t appear in front of me, I think I will forget about you… I just wanna apologise…”

Did kamisama hear my pleading, and forgave me for my judgmental self, relieving me from eternal condemnation? At that very moment when my vision is clouded, a blurred image of a figure passing the gate caught my attention. I wiped away the nth number of tears that rolled down that already swollen eyes, It’s Ryosuke!

I didn’t take a second glance, running straight to his classroom and waited for him. It is Ryosuke… it’s finally him… except, a lot skinnier like he lost all his muscles, his cheeks has curved in. He is frail-looking… and if my eyebags were bad, his is worst. His bangs were covering his eyes, slightly dishevelled. It makes one wonder what happened in the 2 weeks.

“Ryosuke! You’re back in school. Where did you go? Truancy?~” I laughed it off as I gave a light punch on his shoulders. It felt so bony, did he not eat well? He did not react at all, looking straight and carried on walking like I was invisible. “Ryosuke?” I grabbed his arms. I expected him to shake me off like always, but it felt different this time. He forcefully shook my hands off, making me lose my balance and I hit the wall behind me. I would have fallen with my on the ground. I quickly stabilised myself and ran back up to him. I wont let go this time. If he disappears again, I think I will seriously go crazy. This time, he stopped moving forward.

He said coldly with eyes completely disregarding me “Let go. I don’t want to spread my insanity to you.”

“what are you saying, Ryosuke? I never thought like that… Insanity doesn’t spread.” I think I wasn’t careful with my words. I wanted to take it back, but he didn’t seem to bother. “Im sorry Ryosuke. Don’t ignore me. Can we talk?”
 

Ryosuke finally turned to me with very fierce and cold eyes. I felt chills down my spine. It is like he is completely retreating to the kind of impression people have on him, and would play that out to satisfy people. Even the hostility was exactly what others judge him for. It is almost as if he is just being the person everyone wants him to be, receding to societal norms. “Would you please leave me alone?”

"Would you just leave me alone... Just like everyone else... I am sick, I am filthy, and I dont know when I will hurt you. So now that you know, I suggest you turn around like that day and walk away. I dont need a friend, and you dont need a friend like me. I am perfectly okay being alone and invisible, cause thats my life! Dont mess it up for me, I beg you."

"Ryosuke~... I didnt mean it, I am wrong, please forgive me. I wont be like them..." I went closer but he stepped back and gestured to stop me from going closer.

"Dont come any closer, or I'll seriously just do very nasty things to you."

I didnt move an inch, he did. He pressed me against the wall, just like that day at the cafe with Saki. The same penetrating glance, keeping me fearful. I didnt want this Ryosuke. He is scary beyond words. I wanted to run away again. He stared right into my eyes, without blinking. He clenched onto my shoulder blades, and I didnt realise it was hurting until he exerted more strength...

"Itaii... Ryosuke..." He hurt me bad this time, pushing me onto the floor with a vengeful glare. I fell and I feel all weak on my right shoulders.

"You gave me hope that someone actually  didnt mind who I am. Thats what you said. I would tell you myself but you are just like everyone else, preferring to listen to others. You promised to stand by my side regardless, yet you chose to turn away. Seriously, who am I kidding... Who wouldn't mind a mad person as a friend." He laughed hysterically. He has become a frightening person, so much so that I feel he is a completely changed person from the one I knew from day 1 who offered me a place in the bus. Could it be, this is the real him? I began doubting again as I tried to search for his eyes. It was cold and emotionless. That warm Ryosuke has vanished and a stereotyped Ryosuke remains. He walked into class, physically disappeared from my sight.

I cupped my mouth and cried, cause the last thing I wanna do is to show him that I fear him. That's gonna ruin every possibility of bringing the old him back. I didnt care the pain on my shoulders cause nothing can be compared to how I hurt him.

"Mirai..." A demure voice called out from behind. Her gentle hands stretched out to me. I held her hands and stood up with the static pain from my shoulders running down my veins.

I gritted my teeth tight to stop myself from screaming in pain, "Yuriko sensei". I shivered in pain. Yuriko sensei held on to me then led me away from the corridor to the nurse office. She dismissed the nurse, telling her that she can tend to me herself. While I don't know if she could really do it, I couldn't care more. I dazed into space, like my entire soul was out from me.

She ed the too few buttons, revealing my swollen shoulder blade. she surveyed a little then with a sigh of relief, she said, "fortunately, it's not dislocated. Cold compress should relief the swell."

Yuriko sensei appears flustered. When she spoke next, I realised the reason for her fluster.

"Mirai, dont make the same mistake as me. I dont wish for history to repeat itself."

"What do you mean? What history? About Ryosuke? You know?"

"That sensei they mentioned, is me."

"Heh?! So Ryosuke... Did something to you?"

"No, he didn't do anything to me. I was the one who hurt him, and if it wasn't because of me, he wouldn't have to face such intense discrimination on a daily basis"

I was trembling as I heard this. What happened? So many questions propped up my mind.

"It's true Ryosuke was admitted in the mental institution for a good 5 years of his childhood as young as 7 years old. I don't know what the exact reason was, but it seems to be assaults on females. The other teachers mentioned it was his father who reported to the mental hospital for treatment. When he was finally released from the hospital, he spent about 4 years self study before he finally entered senior high."

"Self study? But that means..."

"Yes, he spent almost 9 years away from people. He entered this school at 16..."

"It must have taken him alot of courage to come back to school."

"Yes... So in the first year, he was quiet, but he adapted not too badly.." 

"You were his homeroom teacher?" I suddenly recalled the time on her first day of school when Ryosuke uttered sensei's name in awkwardness.

"Yes... I managed to counsel him and boosted his self confidence. Frankly, it's his low self esteem that kept him away. He gradually made friends, and he attracted a flock of girls who refer to him as an ice prince. Towards the end of year 1, he got himself a girlfriend. "

"People didn't mind his condition then?"

"People didn't know. When he entered the school, his father convinced the school to remove from his data. Only the principal, myself and a few other subject teachers of his knew about it. When I approached him and became his confidant, I promised to keep his condition a secret. It's only then he became opened to me."

"What happened to cause him to isolate himself again?"

"It's all my fault... I wasn't careful when I gave him extra attention. I tend to take care of him much more than other students because I knew about his past. His good results in class also caused some jealousy among his classmates, so some students started ostracising him. They also started spreading untrue rumours about me and him, and you know such relationship is forbidden. His relationship with his girlfriend when downhill, and at the same time, I was called in for disciplinary proceedings by the management. My selfish thoughts was what made the issue worst. That period, the bullying towards him got worst. When I distant myself from him to avoid gossips that will put my job in jeopardy, he had no one to turn to. He went into recluse. However, the situation is not exactly that bad, until the day I got into an argument with a another teacher about my relationship with Ryosuke and I had to explain his condition. A student heard it. The next day..."

Her voice cracked. My impatience grew. "What happened the next day?!"

"Bulletin boards, students' emails, everywhere in school is flashing his condition. It described him like a contagious disease. They mocked at him, they shunned from him. He came to school that day and he was so shocked with what had happened that he ran away. I tried to apologise to him, but he refused to speak to me. He hates me." 

I could almost imagine Ryosuke saying those 3 words at sensei, cause I could imagine him saying it to me just now. I felt worst than before, knowing that I had reopened his scarred wounds. I exposed his battered state once again. 

"He took a year of leave from school. That's why he is a year older than the final year students. When he came back the beginning of this year, he is no longer the boy i saw in year 1. That little cheerfulness I saw previously is completely gone, allI I saw was hostility and grief. I tried to approach him again, but he ignored me. I thought his life is ruined because of me, until I saw how he smiled when you got close to him. You are the only one who did so after his condition got exposed..."

"Sensei..."

"Mirai, I know you are upset he lied to you. But he did so because he treasures this nearly miraculous friendship. I could see how much more cheerful he became. If you think he is passive towards you, you are wrong. He never ever responds to anyone in his third year, but he responds to you."

"He hates me just as much as he hates you now sensei. You saw it, he doesn't want me to get close."

"He says so, but deep down he doesn't. He just didn't want to be hurt by his own optimism that things will get better for him. He knew his hopefulness will only hurt him more. That's why he rather think on the pessimistic side."

"I don't know what to do sensei. I want to help him, but I Dont know how"

"Maybe I show you something. that will help you understand him better."

I followed Yuriko sensei to the lockers for footwear. 

"Open Ryosuke's cabinet..."

I did as she instructed. To my horror, I saw discriminating messages. My eyes welled up in tears, as I thought of how he has to endure this everyday.

"Why didn't he clean it?"

"He did at first, staying back in school after everyone has left to clean it, but within days, it came back. He cleaned it a few more times and eventually gave up."

I cried out. Yuriko sensei clutched both my hands and said in a very sincere tone that kept me attentive to what she had to say, "please stay by his side and not make the same selfish mistake as I did. He is a kind kid, you should know better. He needs you, and in order to be there for him, you need to be strong emotionally."

Even after sensei left, I couldn't forget her final plea. I sat at the roof, where Ryosuke and I had most of our interactions during lunch, and started reconciling my thoughts and everything that I learnt about him. Im deeply sorry for his plight and it felt unfair for a young kid to be left to fend against the rules of cruel world. It also appeared that every bad thing follows him. even when things started to look a little brighter, it gets withdrawn straight away. I looked upon the light blue sky and hope i could get some strength.

I clenched my fist in determination, stood up and began my mission. I call it "Save Ryosuke!"

First, I waited until everyone has left school, including Ryosuke. Retrieving a pail of water and stain remover lotion from the logistics room, I started scrubbing the cabinet. Maybe the stain had been there a little too long, it isn't easy to remove. Even a thinner may not be able to do the job. 2 hours of scrubbing only got half the markings removed, by then it was already 8pm. I'm both hungry and exhausted. My stomach growled in protest and I began imagining the aroma of karage!

"Sora!" It wasn't my imagination, Sora was holding on to a bento box and a bottle of cold green tea.

"How can you not count us in! Ryosuke is our friend too and we need to play a part too. Umika wanted to come but I told her to go home to rest since she is preparing for a competition."

"And me!" Kento came from behind Sora.

"Heh niichan? You followed me?!"

"Yes, or else how do I know what Mirai is up to."

I giggled when I know Kento is implying the fact that I try not to worry him.

"Minna, thank you..." 

"Thats what friends are for" Sora said and thats how we started scrubbing. I noticed Sora and Kento looking deeply at the words. I was glad they realised how nasty and ugly people can be. Seeing all of us helping Ryosuke, I became hopeful that he will forgive us. I smiled quietly to myself. With the three of us working on it, the amount of time required was nearly halved and by the 11th hour, we are done.

"Minna, the 2 of you can go first. There's something else I wanna do."

"We will leave together. It's too late to leave you alone to go home. If not, can't you do it another day?" Kento exclaimed 

"I wanna finish it today. It's okay, my brother is coming over now from work to fetch me. I won't be alone."

"Daiki..." Sora muttered. I saw a look of disappointment. I think I know the reason why she isn't as cheerful as before. Once they were gone, I retrieved a marker from my bag and started vandalising Ryosuke's cabinet. The more I did, the more happy I got. If they have seen what I did to the cabinet which we cleaned with much difficulties, they would have flipped. Have I become a sadist? I think I have, after the incident with Ryosuke in the morning. It's probably the vengeance remaining.

Even when I strolled out of school to Daiki's car, I was still smiling. "Are you crazy?" He asked me as I entered his car.

"Why?"

"I thought you are supposed to be all upset but you are smiling like crazy? If you are sad, just cry it out." He turned to me, clutched my shoulders and look intensely.

"Im okay niichan. I told myself not to cry anymore. I shouldn't and dont deserve to cry," i said with a firm tone while I regurgitated Ryosuke's story from Yuriko sensei. Daiki was in shock by the end of my sharing. All he said after was that he is tough. He didn't ask about my decision, and all he said was he will support me whatever my decision is to be. Between me and Daiki, I think we needn't say it out but we both know that there's always someone there to catch each other in times of troubles. That's my sibling goals and I am thankful for Daiki as my brother to fulfil it. With him around, I could let my guard down and eventually fall asleep in the car. It is an exhausting day nonetheless, and tomorrow will be better. I hope.

****

I excited skipped into the street towards the cafe, thinking that he will be there since he has reappeared. However, I was wrong. There was a commotion there though.

"What's happening?" i ran up to the lady boss after she seemed to have chased a group of rowdy boys out of her shop.

"They were bullying Saki... It's okay now. Those boys are really troublemakers." It's quite obvious given their stereotypical bombastic hairstyles with straits of colours, unkempt shirts, dangling chains. That's another hard truth of this world where some people desires to live out of the norms, to instil fear in those who conform.

"Is Saki alright?

"He should be. He will just rest a while. If Ryosuke was here, he would protect him."

"Ryosuke didn't come today?"

"He has taken an indefinite leave. Said he has some things to settle. Is anything wrong?"

"No" i hold up my smile so that she wouldn't suspect. And so it seemed she doesnt know. "I'll get going. Please take care of yourselves too. Those guys are no good business"

"Mirai..." The lady boss called me as I was on my way off. She said, "remember what you promised me... don't give up being his friend"

"I wont" I raised my fist and showed her my determination. I ran towards school hoping to see his reaction when he opened his cabinet. So I waited at a corner, waited and waited. Finally, he came.

He looks a little better than yesterday. Slightly more refreshed, though still as skinny and depressed. I took a deep breathe and approached him.

"Ohayou Ryosuke!" I jumped in front of him, despite yesterday's disappointment. He ignored me then went on to open the cabinet. He totally didn't notice the change in the markings 

"See... Do you like it?" I gave him a cheeky smile and pointed at it, while squatting beside him. Only then he turned to look at it. He froze for a while, like he was trying to interpret it.

"Is my drawings that bad?... Let me explain to you. This is you, this is me, and here's all the things we will do together. There's a ferris wheel and the amusement park, the zoo, the onsen, watching the hanabi.." My drawings out ridiculously hilarious now that I see it again. 

He should have laugh it out, instead he coldly remarked, "so you found out?... Yuriko sensei told you, I supposed...don't waste your time on unnecessary things. " he slammed the cabinet giving me a shock then pushed me aside and walked away. Throughout the process, he did not give me a second look.

I told myself I'll be okay. I went to his class and peeked in. I left a surprise for him on his desk and I am glad he saw it. Nevermind if he throws it away, I expected it anyway. All I hope is he opens it - the star I left him. I saw him clutched hold of it tight, and I guessed it's into the bin next. I was discouraged. 

 I dragged my feet back to class.

Losing my soul seems to be the norm for me these days. Listless, exhaustion has made me into a walking zombie. Today just past like this, as I strolled in the same quiet street, I started thinking maybe my persistence will hurt him more. Maybe he needs the silence he begs me to return him.

Silence is hard to come by, even when I needed it, I can't get it. I looked up and saw a commotion at the same spot.

"YAMETTE!" I rushed forward to the cafe and threw my bag at the group of ruffians. I placed myself in between them and the whimpering guy. "Saki, don't worry. We don't have to be scared of them."

"Oh really~ we'll see about that..." They challenged. Luckily, my amateurish judo came in handy. I managed to hold them back for awhile, actually for a few blows. My fear gradually started to lead up along with my adrenaline rush. I eventually succumbed to their numbers, and was held captive. If it wasn't for the prince who came to rescue the damsel in distress, we would both have perished under the hands of our assailants. It doesn't matter if the prince is imperfect. It became ever clearer to me that in my eyes, I have seem beyond his imperfection. Armed with a rod, he swing at them and easily got us out of their restrain.

"Go and get help!" He shouted to the two of us.

"Ryosuke~"

"GO!"

Saki and I both nodded and tried running away, but one of the assailants caught hold of Saki. Ryosuke was preoccupied with 3 other assailants to save him. I took chances in my own hands, seeing Saki already trembling in fear. I want to protect him, and I know I can. 

"Arghhhhhh" I took the assailants arm clutching hold of Saki. I breathed in as usual while running through the checklist Kento always say to us, then I force the guy's weight over mine. I felt a loud thump, and I was jumping with joy the instance I saw him lying on the ground aching. "Yes! I succeeded."

It wasn't the end. I see one more coming our way. "Saki, go! I'll hold them back"

"Mirai~" 

"I'll be okay..." I passed him my phone in a rush and instructed him to call my brother on quick dial 1. I figure that will be faster than expecting Saki to call through to the police main line. Saki took my phone and ran. I was then too distracted to notice that the incoming assailant is already there.

"Mirai, watch out!" I heard Ryosuke shouted out, after that everything became a blur. I felt a burning sensation on my head, then something warm trickled down my forehead. 

"Mirai!!!" Ryosuke's voice was much closer this time. I feel his strong arms holding me. I felt his warm chest against my back like a shield. He was throbbing, Not because he wanted to. With my vision blurring, I turn to his face placed next to me, i saw him cringing in agony as the rods came plummeting on his back, one force after another."

"Ryosuke... I don't deserve your protection. I am a terrible person..."

"Shhh... You're not. Listen Mirai, I want to tell you, thank you for watching over me."

"Heh?! You read the star?!"

"Arghhh" Ryosuke finally shouted out his pain.

"Ryosuke, just protect yourself... You'll get hurt. You can run without me"

"No. I'm okay. You're the one who is hurt and I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you." his body lowers onto me as he weakens, at the same time, im losing control of my vision and my hearing too. It is hard to stay awake.

As he laid on me, still holding on to his consciousness, i told him my own secrets that I only realised in such perilous moment. Like others say, people only realised their confused hearts at times of danger cause only then are they prepared to go out of their denial and face the truth about their hearts.

And that was the last I remembered - the throbbing on Ryosuke's body which was now pressed against mine has stopped. There were incoming voices surrounding me but it  became faint. Or rather, I could no longer feel my limbs, but somehow I feel that he never let go,  continuing to keep me safe and warm.

****