Missing You

It’s been a good couple of months since our break up. I see you walking around with your arms around some random girl, those arms that use to embrace me. How can you easily move on? When the idea of not having you in my life breaks my heart every day? How is that possible? How do you do it?

Seeing you in campus is a painful experience. You see, my friends they know you too and so it’s hard to not hear about you and the new girl you’re dating. Even randomly seeing you in the hallways is just painstakingly difficult but you would look at me and smile like we are regular acquaintances. Didn’t we say we’ll be together forever? Didn’t you tell me I’m the only one for you? How can you forget so easily when every single memory is etched in my mind like they just happened yesterday?

I’m starting to hate myself for holding on to you. For thinking that we still have a chance when clearly you’ve already moved on. Was I too easy to forget? Did you really love me at all? I don’t want to feel like this anymore.

But every day I still think of you. I miss you even though I know it’s pointless for me to think of our memories together. I miss you and I often cry myself to sleep at night because I want you back in my life. My heart hurts every time I see you with someone else. Why haven’t I had enough? Why can’t I move on?

Why does it seem like I was the only one in love? I don’t want to be like this anymore. I want to be able to talk to you someday and not feel a tinge of hurt. I wish one day I can talk to you and ask you how you’ve been. I wish I can recall our memories together and smile and not feel like crying my heart out. I want to accept that it’s over between us. Just like you who seem to have moved on so easily.

If I learn to forget I think I’ll be just like you. I can call your name and say hi and not feel a thing. I