It was almost Christmas, but Youngjae wasn’t excited. Youngjae couldn’t even fathom what Christmas without his parents would be like. The thought of celebrating his favorite holiday alone made Youngjae feel like the universe was punishing him. Youngjae always pitied the people like that, the orphans without a family on christmas, and the people who were alone, Youngjae never thought he would be one if those people but the letter from his parents made Youngjae’s nightmare of spending christmas a reality. Youngjae knew that Yugyeom and Bambam didn’t know what was happening and when they bought Youngjae the countdown to christmas calendar, they had his best interest in mind but the pain was still so present in Youngjae's mind. He still hadn’t spoken to Jackson since that day almost a month ago but Youngjae wasn’t too lonely thanks to Jaebum, he and Jaebum were becoming super close, they hung out everyday and never ran out of things to talk about. Youngjae really appreciated the company, Jaebum seemed to always be able to turn a crappy situation into a fun memory. It probably helped that Jaebum always brought over snacks, and it seemed like he never ran out of delicious nummies for him and Youngjae to try out. There was a fun game he and Jaebum played when Jaebum brought over new snacks from all over the world, one of them would try the snack and the other would have to guess whether the snack was good or not.

But today was different Youngjae had woken up to a head splitting headache, he  didn’t know where the headache could have came from but considering today was the 23rd of december meaning christmas was in two days, Youngjae guessed that might have had at least a little to do with it. When it was about the time when Jaebum would normally come over Youngjae was waiting near the front door, but instead of a doorbell Youngjae received a short text from Jaebum explaining that he wouldn’t be able to come because he was busy with “family matters”.

Youngjae felt the same sadness return that he had felt the day he received the letter from his parents, Youngjae just wanted to be with Jaebum, he wanted to distract himself from the pain he felt knowing that his parents didn’t love him enough to visit. Youngjae was broken but there was one thing that he still wanted to do; there was a job offering at a big name bookstore that was just down the street from where Owl’s edge was and Youngjae needed money; Owl’s edge paid minimum wage and that wasn’t helping Youngjae pay rent, and if he didn’t pay soon Youngjae was sure he was going to be kicked out of his small apartment.

~

Jaebum felt bad for lying to Youngjae, but he needed to get together Youngjae's gift somehow. Jaebum knew the sadness had never left youngjae after that night, Jaebum didn’t want to leave Youngjae alone and even though he didn’t know why Youngjae was crying that night he knew that Youngjae just needed someone to be with him, but that wasn’t the reason Jaebum had been getting together with Youngjae; Jaebum felt full when h