“Actually for a girl like me, saying like this would be really difficult and weird but the weight inside me is much heavier than my pride. May be, you will misunderstand me but remember I have not said like this to anyone in my life, not even to Kevin……”

With a deep glare Jay tried to drown within her words. With his silence Amanda got more courage from her heart, and spoke further.

“You may not feel the same for me and you may have someone you like… But, it’s alright Jay. I just wanted to confess my weighted thoughts in front of you... I know this cannot be happened between us…Because we are two different persons…You said that, you have no feelings for me…I remember it well but you were caring and supporting all the time…. Truly, I am confused but I am not going to nag you and make you uncomfortable….I just wanted to confess like this….”

Amanda felt a heavy burden has just slipped from her but his silence and his blank eyes were making her depressed.

“I…..I…I think…I like you… I tried to deny and escape from these thoughts but I failed. I know… and I remember well…. what you told earlier about me. You may feel hilarious listening to these words but this is how I feel for you……..” She said further drowning in his glare.

His eyes became so thin and hurt than the joy… He never expected something to hear from her like this which was making him so weak and melt to go for her…The pressurized words were dancing in his lips to tell her but he was silent and calm... Instead of that, he let him to feel his own nervous beat within him just staring at her and listening to her confession.

But it was for few seconds… Everything has a limit…A limit which a heart can bear….A stop which a heart can tolerate….

“I like you too” he said blankly making her eyes shine in the next second.

“But, But…..do not take my words in your heart Amy! I like you because I am comfortable with you. You make me fill with the peace and complete my lonely life giving a meaning to it…. That’s why I am comfortable with you…. Therefore, do not think any weird things and make you confuse… It’s nothing more than it….If I have make you embarrassed then I apologize…” he said the total opposite against his true feelings noticing the gradually down expressions of her face.

“Lies….you are telling me lies now….” She whispered with the down face. “Can I ask something from you?” she asked again looking at his unexplainable eyes. He nodded his head weakly.

“Haven’t your heart flutter ever for anyone?”

She drowned within his eyes. She was able to see the blank and empty eyes of him were filling with emotions one by one which are confused.

Jay was not able to glare at her anymore. He scared thinking that she would recognize his heart. As much as he wanted to expose it to her, that much he wanted to hide it from her. He was scared to the death knowing what he did with his friends…He was aware totally what kind of a person was Amanda. If she ever got to know what he did deceiving her like that and humiliating her privacy and her emotions in front of his friends, she will never forgive him and their relationship will be end with a hurting revenge for sure…

Even though he couldn’t hold on to her as he wanted right now, he didn’t want to end their relationship at least as roommates ever. Seeing her at least once in a day and smile and talk with her like this would be the only and last thing he had to do instead of beginning an affair with her. He was totally aware that she had feelings for him, the times when they were with each other; his heart knew secretly that she was totally in to him. A gulp stuck in his throat making his eyes moisture at the same time…

He looked down keep standing in front of her. Everything he wanted to express to her has already been listening by him from her words.

“I asked something from you” she said again to him. He raised his head and stared at her finally.

“Yes, it did…It has fluttered to the extent where I am not the same person anymore” he said looking at those curious eyes.

“Can I ask for whom has it fluttered?”

She asked then. Without a word Jay slowly broke the gap between them and got closer to her. The wind which was coming through the window was messing up her fallen hair. Spreading his hand towards her he slowly caught her messed up hair and put them back from her ears. The answer for her question was dancing in his lips but he was tightening those lips without letting those words to slip from them.

“Amy Please….!” he whispered.

“If you are thankful, then you should say thanks….If you are wrong, then you should say sorry….likewise, if you are fluttering, then you should let yourself feel it…”

She was able to understand already that he has feelings for her no matter what but for any unknown reason, he was pretending and stopping himself from her. She wanted to know the truth. There will be no other day like today to reveal his true senses over her.

Just before, his breath stop and reveal his heart to her, Jay tried to hide his emotions over her. With this unexpected moment with the girl whom he wanted to hold so far, the nervous senses were running through his body making him so much weak.

“I don’t feel anything…I am someone who doesn’t know anything about love… I don’t understand what I should say to you…” he said with a wrecked voice noticing her darkened and depressed eyes towards him. She was unable to identify the feelings of those to the point they were that much complicated.

“Lies…” she said while breaking the gap between them and come to his chest. She placed her hand around him and hugged him simply. The stunned body of him started to melt with her embrace. The desire of hug her back was being tolerated by him with greeted teeth. He has dreamt about this moment from the day he kissed her for the bet… She is here now but she is far from him… She loves him now but he can’t love her…. His trembling heart was surrendering to his conscience making him hurt a lot…..

“Don’t you feel anything? Truly don’t you feel anything for me? I feel your shivering heart… Don’t you feel for me?”

It was her last effort…the last effort for understanding what he was hiding this much… His warm chest was consoling her heart… she knew he likes her…. His every expression so far has told her clearly that he was in love with her….But? What is this hesitation?

“No…I don’t feel anything….It’s not because I am nervous with you... It’s just because of the moment…You remember that day between us….it was same as today….Just because of the sudden incident…”

Jay said trying to be rude. He locked his eyes with her like glue. He could see how her face was fading away with the hurt which made him so depressed. The need of feel her touch when she was this much closer in this night was making him crazy.

Amanda stepped back from him when the eyes were getting moisturized with the hurt she felt within her. It was a rejection, she knew it very well. When she turned and stepped out from him he woke up his voice from behind.

“Amy listen to me carefully… I can’t be with you…I shouldn’t be with you and I won’t be with you… Right now…I want to express so many things to you but I can’t…I can’t make you hurt and go on a mystery way with me… Therefore, don’t expect anything return from me Amy…I have my conscience…You will be hurt…”

Holding his breaking heart Jay whispered behind. Her feet have already stopped and her ears were already listened to his words. A tear just fell from her eye silently.

“Is it because of your career?” she asked without turning back to him. Noticing the answer which she just exposed was better for her to convince, he thought to go with it.

“Yes… consider it as the reason” he murmured.

“I will wait for you…Is it alright if I would wait for you?” she asked wiping her tears in her face and turned towards him once again.

“I am good for waiting. Though how much I hate, I am still waiting for my mother to appear in front of us. Though how much it was hard to find, I am still waiting and trying to find a donor to Alex’s eyes. Like that, I am good for waiting… Therefore, until you will successfully settle with your career, is it alright if I wait for you? Don’t tell me that you don’t feel anything……Don’t escape from me like this when you feel for me… Without lying to me tell me to wait for you…Tell me to wait for you Jay!”

It was the final words he could listen and bear with her… The anticipations on her face were killing him…

“It’s already mid night Amy! Sleep well” Jay muttered without looking at her.

He just left hurriedly without giving an answer for her. Amanda just stunned at the same point. She was not able to realize what was going in his mind. The times he got closer to her with anxiousness and an urge to feel the fluttering with her came to her mind repeatedly. But when she confessed her heart and asked him to accept her, the answer she got from him was totally unclear and confused. It was hurting severely in this night…

………………………………….

“What are you doing sweet heart?”

Glen’s voice came through the phone line towards her letting her to feel the h