"Woonie!"

It felt like the world around him had froze as Wonshik watched Hakyeon rush over to Taekwoon, crying and screaming as he kneeled down on the road next to him. He couldn't move, frozen in shock as Sanghyuk tried to catch the liscence plate of the car that hit Taekwoon, frantically calling an ambulance. Once the shock had passed, it finally hit Wonshik. The car didn't hit me. It hit Taekwoon. 

It... it hit Taekwoon.

"T-Taekwoon!" Wonshik forced himself up from the road, running over to his boyfriend and crouching down next to him. He was in pain, cut up by the road with an injured arm, but it was nothing in comparison to Taekwoon. He lay in the middle of the road, cuts across his face and arms. The cuts on his arms were pretty bad, all caused by the glass from the car shattering on collision. He was bleeding, a lot, but his worst injuries were internal.

Not wanting to move him incase he had a spinal injury, Wonshik leaned in close, cupping his boyfriend's face in his hands as he sobbed. In the meantime, Hakyeon was shaking and crying, comforted by Sanghyuk hugging him. Sanghyuk had managed to take a picture of the liscence plate, albiet a slightly blurry one, and had called for an ambulance.

"W-Wonshik..." Taekwoon practically whispered, his voice shaking. He was weak, and losing a lot of blood.

"D-don't try and talk, baby. Y-you're gonna be okay, okay?" Wonshik choked, his voice trembling as he spoke. "Y-you're gonna be okay..."

"I..." Taekwoon's voice was fading, Wonshik leaning in as close as he could in order to hear what his boyfriend was trying to say. "I... I l-love... y-you..."

"I-I love you!" Wonshik sobbed back, kissing Taekwoon's forehead. Taekwoon was fading. "Where is the ing ambulance?!" he cried out, panicking as Taekwoon's breathing became weaker and weaker.

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Wonshik felt numb. He hadn't paid attention to anything that'd happened during the ambulance ride to the hospital - he was too spaced out to pay attention to anything. In his head, he kept replaying his relationship with Taekwoon. The moment they met, and he instantly fell for him. The quiet times they'd spent learning more about each other. Their dates, where they would always have fun and wind up hugging or holding hands. Their first confession in their kitchen, and their second confession in the snow. Their love life, and how Taekwoon was his first and (he hoped) only one. Taekwoon's shy smile, his sweet laugh, his loving personality.

I can't lose him...

"Wonshikkie, drink this," Hakyeon said, handing Wonshik a cup of water from the drinks fountain. "Your arm looks bad."

"What?" Wonshik hadn't even paid attention when the doctor told him he'd fractured it, and put him in a partial cast. He hadn't paid attention when the paramedics were cleaning his cuts. He barely knew where he was. All he could think about was Taekwoon. "...Okay," he mumbled, taking the water and having a sip of it.

"Sanghyukkie went off to call Jaewhannie and Hongbinnie," Hakyeon explained, taking the seat next to his shaken up friend. The boys were visiting Jaewhan's family, and the moment Sanghyuk had informed them of what happened, they were on the first train back. "Did you listen to what the doctors said?"

"I... Uh, no. No, I didn't," he admitted, looking over at his friend with a concerned expression on his face. "...What did they say?"

"He fractured some ribs and punctured his lung, Shikkie. That's why he was on oxygen when we were in the ambulance - do you remember?" 

Wonshik shook his head weakly in response. He couldn't remember anything.

"....Well, that was the reason why. But they're not worried about that. He has internal bleeding, because of impact of the car, so they're doing an operation."

"...Why did he have to do it, Hakyeon?" Wonshik began to cry, looking down at his feet guiltily. "Why couldn't it have been me?"

"Shikkie..." Hakyeon frowned, pulling him close to give him a hug.

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"Any news?" Hongbin rushed over to his friends. "Jaewhan went to get us food, he figured you haven't eaten..." he sighed as he sat down next to his best friend, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Shik... I can't imagine how you must feel-"

"I can't feel anything," Wonshik mumbled in a monotone voice, staring at the floor blankly. More memories repeated in his head - his first hug with Taekwoon, the first time they held hands, the first time he Taekwoon's hair to comfort him... their first kiss in the hospital. 

Please don't die. I can't live without you.

Hongbin looked up at Hakyeon and Sanghyuk hopelessly, who looked at him with sympathy. No one could seem to get through to Wonshik, regardless of how hard they tried. Hongbin sighed, standing up. "I'm gonna go see where Jae went off to," he mumbled, wandering off to find his fiance. Although it was true Jaewhan had promised to find them some food, he was also terrible dealing with such serious situations, and Hongbin wanted to make sure that he was doing alright.

"Did they say how long it'll take?" Sanghyuk asked, concious of how long they'd been waiting so far. 

"No idea," Hakyeon sighed. "All I know is they did a CT scan and now they're doing a... exploratory.... laparotomy...? I think it was called," he explained, glancing up at the clock Sanghyuk was staring at. "I'm... I'm sure he'll be okay," he sighed, glancing over at Wonshik, who was still staring aimlessly at his feet. "Woonie's been through worse-"

"I can't do this," Wonshik suddenly announced, standing up. "I'm going to get some fresh air," he mumbled, before running outside. Although Sanghyuk tried to stop him, Hakyeon insisted they let him go, reminding his boyfriend that everyone has to deal with things in their own way.

Wonshik rested against the wall, letting himself slide down onto the floor where he sat outside the hospital on the cold pavement. He'd felt himself beginning to panic, and wanted to prevent it from getting any worse. He took deep breaths, counting to five in his head as he held his breath, exhaling as he counted to five again. A few minutes of this and his anxiety was beginning to subside a little, which paved the way for his anger.

He wasn't sure what to be angry at, but he knew that he felt an overwhelming frustration in the pit of his stomach. He was angry at the reckless driver for hurting his beloved Taekwoon, he was angry at Taekwoon for risking his life, but most of all, he was angry at himself.

I couldn't protect him...

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"Jae?" Hongbin frowned, finding his fiance crying alone by a vending machine. "Hey, come here," he walked over to him, pulling him into a hug which he tightly reciprocated. "What happened babe?"

"What if he dies, Bean?" Jaewhan mumbled, wiping his tears away on the sleeve of his hoodie. Hongbin was a little surprised by Jaewhan's emotional outburst, but when he put more thought into it, he realised what had caused it.

Jaewhan came from a big family, with a lot of brothers - one of which had died when Jaewhan was young. Jaewhan had never understood why his brother had died until he met Taekwoon, and learnt more about him through conversations with Hakyeon. Jaewhan's brother was mentally ill, with the exact same illness as Taekwoon, and had committed suicide by walking into speeding traffic.

Taekwoon's brave actions to save his boyfriend had reminded Jaewhan about what had happened with his brother, which was something he'd never dealt with before. He'd always burried it deep inside himself, and it was likely the main reason he was so carefree and casual about everything: he'd repressed a lot of his emotions. Deep down, he was insecure and scared - deeply afraid of rejection, or losing another loved one. After becoming so close as friends, he couldn't imagine life without Taekwoon.

"Oh, Jae..." Hongbin frowned as he realised why he was so distraught, and his hair to try and comfort him. "It'll be okay. Woon's gonna pull through this, I promise."

"Y-you promise?" Jaewhan sniffled, pulling away from their hug to look into Hongbin's eyes. Hongbin was the one person he'd ever truly trusted, the one he ever truly opened up to, and he knew, looking into his beautiful doe eyes, that Hongbin believed what he had said. He believed that Taekwoon was going to be fine, which had served to comfort Jaewhan a lot. Deep down, he was just like a nervous child - one who needed constant reassurance. After taking a deep breath and wiping away the rest of his tears, he gave Hongbin a kiss. "T-thank you, Beanie. I'd be lost without you, you know that, right?"

"I love you," Hongbin smiled sincerely, ruffling his fiance's hair. "We should probably get back to the others, babe. Shik's in a real bad way, and I can't imagine how Yeon must feel, too."

"Okay," Jaewhan smiled, comforted by his fiance's reassurance. After retrieving some food from the vending machine, they made their way back to their group of friends.

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"How are you holding up?" Sanghyuk asked his boyfriend, moving seats to sit next to him. He took Hakyeon's hand, squeezing it tight to try and comfort him. He knew how much Taekwoon meant to Hakyeon, and how much of a toll it was taking on him to have to be the brave face in the situation.

As Hakyeon turned to face his boyfriend, he broke. He wasn't holding up at all.

"Hey, come here," Sanghyuk frowned, pulling Hakyeon into a hug. He pet his hair and rubbed his back, trying his best to comfort him in any way he could. Until that point, Hakyeon had been forcing himself to be emotionless and take in all the information since Wonshik was in an even worse state. As he sobbed into Sanghyuk's embrace, Hakyeon remembered the first time he met Taekwoon.

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6 years old, 16 years ago

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"Okay, class, we have a new student~" the teacher announced to the rowdy students. The only one paying attention was the young Hakyeon, who'd only recently started going back to school. He'd been off sick for a while, following the death of his father, allowing him some time to grieve. Since he'd returned to school, he was being bullied by the other children in his class, since he didn't have a father anymore. Hakyeon had always been picked on for being a little different, but never to this extent before. He felt lonely, until he laid eyes on the new student.

"This is Jung Taekwoon. Say hello to everyone, Taekwoon~!"

Taekwoon stared at the floor blankly, ignoring the teacher's instructions.

"...Uhm," the teacher coughed awkwardly, not expecting silence from the young boy. She awkwardly brushed a lock of her long black hair behind her ear before forcing a smile. "Everyone be nice to Taekwoon, okay~? Taekwoon, there's a seat over there next to Hakyeon, why don't you go introduce yourself?"

The rest of the students stared at Taekwoon, intimidated by his icy demeanor. As he walked over to sit with Hakyeon, the rest of the students began to gossip amongst themselves, deciding that Taekwoon was scary and 'a freak'. 

"Hello~" Hakyeon introduced himself warmly as Taekwoon sat down next to him. As he held his hand out to shake Taekwoon's, he noticed the younger boy flinch, and frowned to himself. "Sorry," he said, putting his hand down and moving his seat slightly further away from Taekwoon's in an attempt to make him feel more comfortable. "I didn't mean to scare you. I'm Hakyeonnie~"

"..." Taekwoon looked up at Hakyeon, nodding slightly to show that he'd acknowledged what he'd said. Taekwoon was shy, and frightened of other people, so he appreciated the fact that Hakyeon had tried to accomodate for him, moving away slightly to give him more personal space.

It took a full week for Taekwoon to finally talk.

It was playtime, and Hakyeon and Taekwoon were in the art room, colouring together. They'd become close friends, even though Taekwoon hadn't spoke to him at all, spending all of their time in school together. They would often spend their breaks inside in order to avoid bullies. 

"Taekwoonie, can you pass me a green?"

"Okay," Taekwoon replied, not having realised he'd spoken. Absentmindedly, he picked up one of the green crayons he had, handing it to Hakyeon, only to be met with the most amusingly shocked expression. Taekwoon couldn't help but giggle - his friend looked so silly. "What?"

"Y-y-you talked!" Hakyeon exclaimed, excited to finally hear his friend's voice for the first time. "Taekwoonie talked to me~!"

"I like being your friend," Taekwoon smiled softly, following up his first words to Hakyeon with his first smile to him as well. "D-do you wanna be best friends?" he asked quietly, biting his lip shyly.

"Y-yes! Taekwoonie, my bestest friend~" Hakyeon grinned, happily taking the green crayon from Taekwoon in order to finish off his drawing of them.

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"I can't live without him, Hyukkie," Hakyeon sobbed, clinging onto his boyfriend tightly. "He's my best friend..."

"I know hyung, I know," Sanghyuk frowned, unsure of what to say. He'd never been very good at comforting people, despite his best efforts. "He'll be fine, I promise. Taekwoon's tough, right? You said so yourself - he's been through worse."

"I-I know, but..."

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Once he'd steadied his breathing, Wonshik reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone to look through the almost endless amounts of pictures of Taekwoon he had on it. There was their first photo together when they went to the zoo - Taekwoon's shy smile and blushing cheeks making Wonshik's heart race. A photo of them together at the fun fair with their cotton candy on their first real date together, Taekwoon shyly hiding most of his face behind his cotton candy, only his striking cat like eyes piercing the camera.

There was a photo Wonshik had taken of Taekwoon lazing around on the couch, cuddling up with Sarang th black cat plushie as he watched a movie on their TV. A photo of the two after having , both shirtless and sweaty but cuddled up next to each other with smiles of their faces. A photo of Taekwoon cooking them dinner, smirking to himself as Wonshik pulled finger hearts at him. A photo of them together, kissing in the park. Tears began to stream down Wonshik's face once again as he scrolled through all of his photos of Taekwoon.

Please don't die...

"There you are," Sanghyuk sighed, finding Wonshik sitting on the cold pavement by himself. "Come inside, man," he offered out a hand to his distraught friend, helping him to stand up. "Jaewhan and Hongbin got us some snacks. You should eat."

"I don't think I can," Wonshik mumbled, looking down at his feet as he wiped away his tears.

"You need to try and pull yourself together, Shik," Sanghyuk frowned, placing a hand on his best friend's shoulder. He wasn't very good at comforting people, but he was good at being kind but firm with his advice. "Taekwoon wouldn't want you to fall apart like this. You have to pull yourself together - he's gonna need you when the operation is over."

"What if he dies-"

"He's not going to die," Sanghyuk interrupted. "He's gonna fight this, and you need to fight it too. You need to be strong, for his sake, like he's being strong right now."

"Hyuk..."

"Now come on. You have a chocolate bar waiting for you," he smirked, wrapping an arm around his friend as they walked back into the hospital together.

Sanghyuk's right. I need to be strong.

Inspired by his best friend's advice, Wonshik put on a brave face. The operation went on for another hour, and in the meantime, the boys ate the variety of snacks their friend's had retrieved from the vending machines and made small talk to try and pass the time. Although they were all hurting inside, anxious about Taekwoon's well being, they were all managing to put on brave faces. They had no other choice but to fall apart, or fight it, and they had all chose to fight it. 

"Jung Taekwoon?"

All five boys collectively jumped to their feet. Hakyeon and Wonshik looked at each other knowingly once they realised it was the same doctor from before - the young lady who had looked after Taekwoon after his accidental overdose several months ago. 

"He's stable."

All the boys breathed a collective sigh of relief.

"We've managed to stop the inteneral bleeding," she announced, smiling as she continued to relay the good news. "And luckily, the puncture in his lung is small, and we expect it will heal on its own. He's going to be okay, but he'll need to remain in hospital for quite a while in order to recover."

"Doctor, thank you so much," Wonshik cried, taking her hand. "You have no idea how much this means to me. To us. To all of us..." he sobbed, tears streaming down his face.

"I'm glad your friend is going to be okay-"

"Boyfriend," Wonshik corrected her with a smile, wiping his tears away on his sleeve. "I'm sorry for crying, I'm just... I'm so happy."

"I understand," she smiled. "You can go see him. One visitor at a time, remember?"

"Y-yes," Wonshik nodded, still wiping his tears away. 

"Thank you so much~!" Hakyeon smiled at the doctor as she walked away, putting his arm around Wonshik to pull him into a hug. Soon after, Sanghyuk, Jaewhan and Hongbin joined in the hug, all five boys standing their with their arms around each other in a happy embrace.

He's going to be okay!

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"Wonshikkie..." 

"Taekwoonie," Wonshik grinned, rushing over to the hospital bed and throwing his arms around his boyfriend. Taekwoon couldn't reciprocate the hug fully, as one of his arms was attatched to an IV and a blood bag, as they were giving him a blood transfusion to make up for all the blood he'd lost. He wrapped on arm around his boyfriend, smiling weakly. Wonshik pulled away from their embrace to give Taekwoon a tender kiss.

As Wonshik took a seat next to Taekwoon's bed, he grabbed his free hand, holding it tight and never wanting to ever left it go. As the boys held hands, Wonshik began to cry once again, but this time they were tears of happiness and relief.

"Don't cry, babe," Taekwoon frowned, trying to reach over to Wonshik to wipe his tears away, forgetting that he was attatched to an IV and blood bag. The boys couldn't help but laugh at his mistake as Wonshik stood up to steady the bags, which had almost toppled over onto the bed. He wiped his tears away on his sleeve as he sat back down, taking Taekwoon's hand once again as he smiled at him warmly. "What happened to your arm?"

"I guess I hurt it when you pushed me out of the way," Wonshik sighed happily, not caring. Nothing mattered to him but Taekwoon. "I'm-"

"I'm so sorry I hurt you," Taekwoon frowned apologetically, causing Wonshik to smirk. So cute.

"You have nothing to apologise for," Wonshik smiled, releasing Taekwoon's hand to brush a lock of his soft black hair behind his ear. He had a cut on his forehead, which was likely going to scar. It didn't matter to Wonshik - Taekwoon was beautiful, gorgeous and angelic inside and out. He leant in to kiss Taekwoon's forehead, cupping his chubby cheeks gently and nuzzling their noses together. "I'm so happy you're okay..."

"M-me too."

"...Why did you do it, baby? I was so scared, I-"

"Wonshikkie, you saved my life before..." Taekwoon smiled softly, looking deeply into his boyfriend's chocolate eyes. "...It was my turn to save yours."

Wonshik was speechless. After a moment spent collecting his thoughts, he smiled. "I-I love you, Jung Taekwoon, with all of my heart."

"I love you too, Kim Wonshik," Taekwon smiled, stealing a kiss as they pressed their foreheads together, closing their eyes to bask in the moment. "I'll love you forever and always."