Walking into the room, she went straight to the window and opened it, ignoring the whines and protests coming from the bed. The air of the room was stuffed after being closed all day and there were clothes scattered all over the place.

Hwasa sighed.

“You need to stop this. You’ve been moping around since you arrived.” She crossed her arms and stared at the lump covered by blankets in bed. “I’ve let you because I have been busy until now, but enough is enough Byulyi. It’s been two days and your room already looks like some kind of hellhole.”

Moonbyul groaned in reply but uncovered her head. Not without glaring at her friend. Just a bit.

At the sight of the pronounced bags under her eyes, Hwasa’s face softened. Sometimes tough love worked well and was even necessary, but it was clear Moonbyul also needed some sympathy and affection.

“Hey,” Hwasa started again, this time without trace of any aggressive tone in her voice.” Wheein is coming over tonight. Why don’t you go get a shower while I prepare some food for the three of us? Then you can tell us what happened.”

Moonbyul had actually told her already, but she had skipped over the details. Hwasa thought about asking Solar directly, but decided against it for now. She wanted to know both sides, but she would focus on Moonbyul first. That didn’t mean she hadn’t check on the other girl, Solar was her friend too. She just didn’t press her for details, something the girl seemed to be grateful for.

After making sure Moonbyul wouldn’t ignore her, she left the room to start getting the food ready and ask Wheein if she was already on her way or not.

Begrudgingly but knowing it was for her own good at the same time, Moonbyul gave herself a couple minutes before forcing herself to get up from the bed. She sat on the edge and huffed. To be fair she badly needed a shower and a change of clothes. Then, her stomach grumbled, reminding her that she needed food as well.

She knew Hwasa and Wheein were worried about her and she felt bad for being the reason. She had tried her best to pretend to be okay but her body wouldn’t cooperate. In the end, she decided to let herself mourn for a few days.

But mourn what exactly? Her non-existent relationship with Solar? The chance for said relationship to exist? Their friendship in general? Her head hurt every time she thought about it.

From the corner of her eyes she spotted her phone on the nightstand. She had received several texts and calls for the past two days. Most of them were from Solar.

Knowing that despite being upset it would have been cruel to completely leave her in the dark, Moonbyul had texted her back once: I need some time.

Solar hadn’t text her again since then.

Moonbyul appreciated how Solar fully respected her wish, but at the same time she couldn’t help but miss the messages. She hated the constant contradiction of thoughts on her mind, she felt lost.

Rubbing her face, she shook her head to clear her head and got up from the bed, making her way to the shower. After being alone for two days, Moonbyul knew that spending a night with her best friends would help. At least it would give her another perspective, something she clearly needed.

“What are you making for dinner?”

Moonbyul entered the kitchen with a towel on her still damp hair. She had almost put on another set of pajamas but in the end she opted for her regular clothes to feel more like an actual person. Being clean and smelling well helped too.

Having her back to the door and not expecting the question, Hwasa yelped at the sudden voice. She turned around and frowned at Moonbyul as the other girl laughed.

“You almost gave me a heart attack, dammit Byul!” Hwasa pouted but then gestured to the kitchen counter where some ingredient packages were scattered all over. “I thought we could make some homemade pizzas. Perfect comfort food if you ask me.”

Moonbyul approached the counter and nodded approvingly. “That sounds great Hyejin, thanks.” She smiled at her friend. “Want me to do anything?”

“Yeah, help me stretch the dough.” Hwasa looked at the watch they had hung on the wall. “Wheein should be here soon so the sooner we have the pizzas ready the better.”

They worked in a comfortable silence, already used to making pizza together. After years of living together they knew perfectly the toppings they liked the most. Including Wheein, who basically lived with them as well.

Moonbyul couldn’t help but let her mind wander to the wedding celebration, when Solar had about pineapple pizza.

She huffed. When would every little thing stop reminding her of Solar? She really was in too deep. Not that it was new information or anything, but it didn’t change how much the situation .

Wheein arrived shortly after they put the pizzas in the oven, but she didn’t do it alone.

“Thought you could use the support. And drool.” Wheein grinned cheekily as she took off the leash on her dog Haru.

Mirroring the grin, Moonbyul took the puppy in her arms and laughed when Haru her face. She looked at Wheein after leaving a kiss on the dog’s head. “You know what? I totally needed this.”

Wheein smiled happily, her dimple popping in all its glory. She was glad she could help her friend in some way at least. Then, as if she just remembered it, she lifted the plastic bag she had left on the floor before. “I also got alcohol!”

Two pizzas and a few drinks later, Hwasa and Wheein didn’t have any trouble getting Moonbyul to talk. It had started with only a few words but soon enough Moonbyul let herself vent all her frustration about the matter.

“My head is full of contradicting thoughts. It’s stupidly frustrating because I can’t stop changing how I feel about everything.” Moonbyul raised her glass to take a sip only to find it already empty. Instead, she started chewing on one of the half melted ice cubes.

Hwasa played absentmindedly with Haru’s ears –who had decided Hwasa would be the lucky human to be used as her pillow – as she patiently listened to Moonbyul’s ramble.

“So let me get this straight. You are mad at Solar, but also mad at yourself for being mad at her?” Hwasa wasn’t sure if the alcohol made it more confusing that it was or if it never made sense anyway.

“Yes?” Moonbyul replied unsure. Like she said before, it didn’t make sense for her either. “I’m definitely mad, or just upset in general. Kind of betrayed maybe? But at the same time I think I’m being selfish for not taking into account how Solar feels about this. But I can’t help it. I feel like I’m missing something here.”

Wheein snorted “Wow, you are whipped for her even when you are mad.” She bit her lip and tried not to laugh when Moonbyul sent her a glare. “Sorry, go on.” She apologized, not really sorry at all.

“I think…” Hwasa started as she tried to find a comfortable position on the couch without disturbing the puppy lying on her. “You are upset she didn’t take you into consideration before making her decision. Because whether it’s official or not, deep inside you know there is something more than friendship between you two.”

Wheein nodded, agreeing with her best friend’s words. Moonbyul didn’t reply but didn’t deny it either. She waited for her friend to continue.

“And I get it. I think that if I was in your position I would also feel that frustration. It’s understandable. But from what you’ve told us, Solar accepted the offer for her own good.” Moonbyul opened to interrupt, but before she could do it Hwasa raised her hand signaling her to stop. “Yes, it’s not the ideal future, it’s giving up on her dreams. But Byul, can you blame her? You and I are really lucky to be able to do what we truly love, but it doesn’t always happen. Look-“

“Look at me.”

It was Wheein who cut the conversation this time.

“I’m an example of not making it, but I’m pretty young, and I have my family support. And yours too. I still have time to get there, but I get worried and overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel like I should give up.” Smiling, Wheein grabbed Byul’s hand. “What I’m saying is, I think I totally understand why Solar decided to do this. And it must have been so hard for her.”

Looking down at their hands, Moonbyul let out a heavy sigh. “I’m being unreasonable, aren’t I?”

Wheein shook her head softly and squeezed her hand. “Like we said, it’s natural for you to feel this way. But what I think is that you need to talk to her and listen to what she has to say. And most of all, support her through this. Because she is going to need you by her side.”

Between the exhaustion of the past two days and the haziness the alcohol had caused, Moonbyul let herself have a minute to fully grasp the words Wheein had just told her.

After a moment, Moonbyul nodded softly. Then, she nodded once again, more confidently that time.

“I can do that. I will do that.” Smiling gratefully at her friends, she felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. “I’ll call her tomorrow.”

Nothing had changed yet, and the situation still wasn’t a positive one. But at least she had somewhere to start now.

Moonbyul stood next to the glass door of the coffee shop where Solar was working in that moment. She had arrived around ten minutes before, but was too hesitant to enter yet. She kept rubbing her clammy hands on her pants and muttering at herself.

A week ago being with Solar felt like the easiest thing in the world, and now there she was, too nervous to face her. But she had to.

As promised, she had texted Solar the next day as soon as she had taken a shower and gotten her head clear enough from the mild hangover from the night before. She thought about calling her instead but realized she didn’t feel confident enough for that yet.

As she waited for a reply, Moonbyul started worrying about not getting any. As far as she knew Solar could be equally upset and decide that she was the one who didn’t feel like speaking with the other. And Moonbyul would totally respect that. But now she wanted to talk and thinking about the opposite overwhelmed her.

Surprisingly –or maybe not, because deep inside it was what she expected from her- Solar had replied not long after. They had kept the conversation short but very civil. Solar quickly accepted meeting without asking too many questions. And soon enough both had agreed on meeting the next day at the end of Solar’s shift at evening.

And there she was now.

Moonbyul took a deep breath and forced herself to walk through the door, she couldn’t keep postponing it anymore or Solar would believe she was being stood up.

It almost felt like a dejavu to see Solar behind the counter cleaning a couple mugs and organizing the utensils since there weren’t clients waiting to order anything.

Solar’s eyes focused on her as soon as she stepped inside. Moonbyul almost stopped herself in the spot but managed to keep walking towards the counter. Once there she drummer her fingers on it, something that always helped when she felt nervous or worried.

“Hey there.” With a smile between shy and embarrassed Moonbyul didn’t have the nerve to meet Solar’s eyes. She didn’t know how she should act around her. Although she had calmed down considerably, she still felt upset, but she had missed Solar so much at the same time. It felt right to be close to her again despite everything.

“Hi Byul.” By the look of it, Solar found herself in the same situation without knowing what to do or say. She fidgeted with a worn rag and avoided looking at her for long. “I still have about 20 minutes until my coworker comes for his shift.” She explained awkwardly.

Moonbyul bobbed her head acknowledging her words and pointed at the closest empty table. “Do you mind if I sit meanwhile? I don’t want to bother you while you work.” That reason had never stopped her from bugging Solar before but she guessed none of them were up to that in that moment.

“Yeah, sure. Do you want anything to drink?” Solar paused. “It’s on the house.”

Moonbyul bit her bottom lip. Being honest she didn’t feel like drinking anything, but she didn’t want to make it even more awkward either.

“Yes, thank you. My… my usual.”

“Okay. Go sit, I’ll bring it to you once it’s done.”

Moonbyul sat and propped her chin on her palm, watching Solar prepare the coffee. It was a familiar and comforting sight. It reminded her of all the previous times she had been in that exact place. Then it hit her how much she would miss this.

The feeling only intensified as Solar approached the table with her peppermint mocha with chocolate. She had introduced Moonbyul to the drink the first time she had visited Solar at the coffee shop and had quickly become her favorite beverage. But the best one by far was the version Solar made.

“Thank you.” Moonbyul took a sip and closed her eyes at the sweet flavor.

“Is it good?” Solar asked as she stalled next to the table, not wanting to go back to behind the counter just yet.

Moonbyul couldn’t help but smile shyly. “Yes, it’s great. As usual.”

After that both pretended being busy as the 20 minutes stretched into almost the double before Solar’s colleague arrived and saved them from the weird atmosphere. But the hard part came now, they had to actually make a proper and real conversation and go past the awkward small talk. It probably wasn’t going to be a very fun night. But both needed it.

Walking side to side, both decided to head towards Solar’s house. The ideal would have been a more neutral ground but that would require a public place and they needed privacy. Moonbyul supposed it wasn’t that bad of an option anyway, after all the small apartment felt like her second home.

Everything looked the same as the last time she was there. Which shouldn’t come off as surprising considering that she had been in the apartment less than ten days ago. But somehow Moonbyul already expected visible signs of the pending move. Half-filled boxes all over the place or something.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Solar offered. She threw the backpack where she kept her work uniform on the couch and walked to the kitchen. She pulled her hair into a high bun before opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle of cold water.

Moonbyul stood in the middle of the living room with her hands inside her jeans pockets. She was unsure of whether she should sit or not.

“No thanks, the coffee was enough.”

Solar shrugged and took a sip from the bottle. She went back to the living room and hesitated for a couple of seconds before choosing to sit at the small table she only used on counted occasions. Moonbyul guessed that it showed how serious the conversation would be. Moonbyul didn’t wait anymore and joined her at the table.

Since she had decided to meet Solar, Moonbyul had rehearsed several times all the ways the discussion could go. She had tried to prepare herself for all the possibilities. But the truth was that now they were face to face, her mind was totally blank.

It kind of made her want to give up and tell Solar to just go back to how they were before as if nothing happened. But she knew that wouldn’t work. Even if they did their best to pretend everything would blow up sooner or later. Probably way sooner than late.

Clearing , Moonbyul gave it a go. It had been her who texted first after all. “So.” Great start. “How have you been these past … eh… four days?” They made eye contact and Moonbyul immediately looked down. She felt too vulnerable.

“Five, actually.”

That made Moonbyul look up confused.

“Huh?”

Solar bit her bottom lip embarrassed, as if it hadn’t been her intention to say that out loud.

“It’s been five days, not four.” She added softly.

Her cheeks were starting to blush and the need to reach out and touch them was killing Moonbyul.

“Oh.” Well, math had never been her forte. She couldn’t help but snort, it was getting ridiculous. She rubbed her hands against her eyes, then sighed. “I’ve been… okay I guess. You know how I can get sometimes, but I had Hyejin to set me straight after a while.” Well, she wasn’t going to tell Solar about how she stayed in bed and didn’t shower for two days. That would be too dramatic even for her standards. “And you?”

Solar contemplated the answer for a moment. Then shrugged softly. “I’ve been pretty busy with work these days.” She looked down at her own hands while she played with the hair tie on her left wrist.

Taking advantage of that, Moonbyul let herself look at Solar properly. She noticed quickly the pronounced bags under her eyes. Her face also seemed thinner than before, and Moonbyul couldn’t help but frown worried. It helped her remember that this wasn’t just about her, that she wasn’t the only one suffering and going through a hard time. Feeling vindicated wasn’t the goal.

Yes, Moonbyul deserved to explain why she was upset and share how she had felt about the whole issue, but Solar’s feelings were as important.

They couldn’t keep dragging the issue on.

“I’m… sorry to have shut you off these days.” She stammered over her words at the start. Dealing with conflicts had never been her thing, it worried her how to get her point across without her words getting twisted into something she didn’t mean. “But I really needed some space and time away to clear my head.”

“I appreciated the text telling me so.” Solar replied with a tight smile. Between work and feeling like she had screwed up both her life and bond with Moonbyul she had barely gotten any sleep. At least the text informed her that it was just a temporary thing.

“Thank you for respecting it.” Moonbyul really meant it.

“Of course, I understand you needed time.”

Solar leaned back on the chair and exhaled slowly. Both were being careful with their words and feelings. The last thing they wanted was for the talk to escalate into something worse.

“I hope you know I didn’t know anything before the wedding celebration.” Solar’s words put an end to the awkward silence that filled the room. “My mother told me long ago that he offered to take me into his company, as you already know, but I spoke to him about the job for the first time when he approached me during the party. Right before we… uh.”

She stopped herself from finishing the sentence but she didn’t need to say it out loud for Moonbyul to guess she meant their kiss. Kisses. How could she ever forget those? She still shivered every time she reminisced about what had happened. Those kisses had convinced her to try and take a step forward that night.

“I know.” Moonbyul reassured Solar. “I never thought you were lying to me or anything similar.” It was the truth. She saw firsthand the shift in Solar’s mood through the night. Solar was as blindsided as her. Probably more.

Which reinforced what Wheein had told her the other night.

"That's… goo