Love is Like Rain

The man was tracing a white crayon on a white paper, wondering how it would look like after. He subsequently stopped after failing to connect the rather invisible lines he drew. It was then that he realized he was indeed the white crayon and the boy he secretly liked was the white paper.  Just like what his favourite author had told him, "Sadly speaking, you are just like one of the white crayons on a white paper. They're always invisible." He was invisible, most probably, he assumed. Maybe not to everyone, but he had to be for the person he wanted the most by then. Little by little, it made sense to him, to Chanyeol who believed in destiny. 

As he was typing on his laptop a private message for his favourite Asianfanfics Author, Chanyeol wondered if he did the right thing of leaving Luhan behind after finding out the latter's past relationship with their bandmate and his old friend Sehun. He badly needed someone to talk to about it and this said author was just the only person he could think of.

ByunsBacons111555; an Asianfanfics author who once declared on his personal blog that he is a homo in real life and he was the only author that Chanyeol subscribed to. Chanyeol had been sending him private messages but the other never replied. Well, what could he say to a reader who could only flood him messages like 'update soon'? This time, however, a new message from Chanyeol popped up and it wasn't just one of those annoying update soon author-nim. 

ilovecoffee: Author-nim, are you there? Can I tell you a secret? Even if you say don't, I'll still tell you a secret. Author-nim, I'm actually...  homo too. 

Chanyeol backspaced on the laptop keyboard and made a fuss about himself being such a pathetic being. "I must be crazy to tell some random guy I'm homo," he muttered to himself, shaking his head as if in disapproval and disbelief, and probably disenchantment. Shortly, he started typing again. 

ilovecoffee: Author-nim, are you there? I'm gonna tell you a secret so please don't be shocked. Actually, it's more like a plead for your holy advise. Author-nim, I have fallen and it's bad. I really like him this person and I care a lot about this person. I always think about this person and I want to be romantic for this person. Although I met this person few years ago, this person didn't meet me until a few months ago. Still, I really like this person, but today, I found out something I shouldn't have.

 This person and a friend of mine actually touched each other had something few years ago. I just heard they were buddies, but it sounded like there was something more between them. The person I like actually cried. I don't know why. I didn't wipe his tears away nor did I ask him what was wrong. I simply stared at him and left. I would've stopped if he called me back, but he didn't. I was expecting too much. Anyway, it feels like they still have that something but my friend is about to get married soon... I don't know what I'm so worried about. Am I worried for my friend's future or worried that the person I like is no longer a  might still have feelings for my friend?

He read it twice before finally hitting the post message button for ByunsBacons111555 and waited thirty unbearable minutes before rising up from his seat to make coffee for himself. Luhan's image seemed to be following him everywhere he went, he could even see the boy's face as he mixed the coffee syrup and milk together in his cup. Concluding that he'd gone crazy, Chanyeol left his unfinished coffee on the dining table and went back to his computer desk in defeat. His heart raced when he noticed the mini envelope of his account inbox turned red, indicating that he received a reply in private message.

It was a message from ByunsBacons111555, saying: Hello, my dear reader. So you're just like me then? Since you are, I'll tell you something you probably don't know yet. People like us shouldn't believe in destiny or true love. They're not for us. Happy endings aren't for us either,  that's why we're on Asianfanfics to find comfort. What you feel for this person, stop it. How can you love someone who can't even see you? Isn't that like torture? You're invisible, why can't you just accept reality? 

What the heck? Why is he so salty? What did I do to him? Why is he- wait- he knows I'm talking about a guy? Chanyeol thought. "Wait, I didn't tell him Luhan's a guy right?" He checked his previous message and was surprised by his own messed up words. Apparently, he had stated in the message that the the person he liked was a he. His account was also said to be a male with the username 'ilovecoffee'.

"Aish. What's wrong this person anyway? ByunsBacons111555, I thought you'd be a nice author. I can't believe you just said this to your dear reader, you ungrateful bitter author," muttered a frustrated Chanyeol. 

"Hey Chanyeol. Have you seen Luhan?" Yixing suddenly barged into his room and asked, causing Chanyeol to jump at the edge of his seat. "You okay? Haowen opened the door for me though you're the one who called me over..." Earlier that day, Chanyeol called Yixing to stop by at his house and said it was an emergency. Figured he just needed his friend to drink with him later. The last time Chanyeol asked Yixing to drink together was probably before their first leader left the band and ever since then he had always been arguing with Yixing over little things, regardless, he still needed Yixing's company that night. 

"I'm trying to move on," Chanyeol confessed as he started typing on the keyboard again. "Give me five minutes. I'll get back to you after finishing this." 

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Sehun had been staring forever at the costly skateboard he bought for Luhan in which he failed to give a few days ago. It wasn't really that expensive but since he wasn't a wealthy man and he was still upset about Luhan's statement from the other day, Sehun just had to insist and told himself that it cost him millions to buy something as a peace offering. 

Only three days left before his wedding. Sehun shouldn't really be at his ex-boyfriend's doorstep, especially after what happened last time, but there he was, glued on that spot. His son, Zhiyu, was waiting in the car; both of them yearning to meet the young man who almost changed Sehun's life and to make peace. 

Sehun knocked rather slowly and hesitatingly. What was he going to say if the door opens and Luhan greets him? In order for Luhan to forgive him, does he have to say sorry and give the latter a new skateboard? For Luhan to forgive him, does he have to find closure with him so both of them can stop holding on? Or should he just pretend that it doesn't bother him one bit and invite his former lover to his wedding as if they're just friends? Does he have to pretend that they had no history for Zhiyu to be happy? 

"Luhan, can you please open the door?" Came Sehun's slightly quiet request as he halted his own knocks. Don't worry. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm only here because Zhiyu wanted me to talk to you and become friends with you. He wanted to say that but his words got stuck somewhere he wasn't capable of grasping anymore. I can't just tell you I want you back, right? Zhiyu would be shocked. Honestly, I don't know what to do. How do I even convince you to pretend to be my friend after all I've said and done?  

But he promised Zhiyu, probably a hundred times already. He promised they'd hang out with Luhan. That everything was definitely going to be fine and back to normal. 

"Zhiyu, just wait in the car, okay? I will talk to him first. I really have a lot to say to him.  I'll call you when everything's okay."

"Are you sure, daddy? You and him won't fight again, right?" 

"No, we won't fight. I promise I'll fix us, Zhiyu."

"Then after that... Can we go on a date with him?"

"Date?" 

"Yes, date... Can we do that, daddy?"

"Y-Yes, of course. Why not?"

"Promise?"

"I promise... Zhiyu... You trust me, right?" 

"Daddy never breaks his promise. Of course, I trust you!"

Many times Sehun attempted to tell his son everything. About Luhan, about his relationship with the latter in the past, and about the decision he made at the end. Sehun even wondered that one time, would Zhiyu blame himself because his daddy chose him over the man he loved? Would he blame his mommy Airin for getting pregnant at that time? Or would he let his daddy take all the blame, the guilt, and resposibility? Sehun greatly believed his baby Zhiyu isn't that kind of person though. His Zhiyu has a pure heart. Zhiyu is loving and forgiving. His Zhiyu has always been a reminder of his love for Luhan, the love that he continued holding on to despite the difficulty, the distance, and everything else. For him, Zhiyu and Luhan were almost one and the same. And that was what scared him most. Because he already made a choice to leave Luhan for the sake of his child with Airin. The child who stole his heart at first glance. The child who actually has Luhan's blood running through his veins and neither of them knew. 

Later that day, it started to rain. Sehun soon sensed the water gliding against his skin in a slow motion and the next thing he knew he was already soaking wet from the little droplets then bigger droplets of rainwater. Still, the door didn't open for him. He was literally embraced by silence. 

"I'm not leaving until you open the door."

He promised Zhiyu. 

"I'm not leaving until you forgive me."

He didn't want to disappoint Zhiyu. He knocked on the door again, desperately. This time he was calling out his name, Luhan's name. He was crying as the drops of water washed his face, washing away the tears he had shed under the rain. He stood there for a long time, surprising the person inside the apartment and making this person wonder how long he could endure being neglected outside. 

It was Luhan's mother, standing still with her back against the door and her hand over in shock. She was scared. She was worried to death about Sehun's return, guilty of the sin she had made a long time ago, and extremely frightened by the things that were bound to happen in the future. 

How? How would she be able to face the man whom she disapproved of her son loving? How could she face the clueless father who was the reason she betrayed her own son? It's been so long since she felt remorse, however then and there it all came back and disturbed her restless thoughts and worries. She felt even worse when a small voice invaded her ears and snapped her back into the present.

"Daddy? Are you crying? Why isn't mister coming out? Is Mister not here?"

She knew. Luhan's mother knew who it was. She had a sudden urge to see the sweet little boy's voice. She wanted to see if the little boy resembled her own son or the other father - because she knew the real story behind all the lies they created in the past. Luhan's father started it and she simply allowed it all to happen though she could've stopped him in many ways. There was no wonder, she loved her husband more than her own son.

"Mister? Are you inside?" 

Luhan's mother heard ano