Driving Me Crazy

It was a cloudy Sunday night when Sehun drove back to the underground bar to pick up a copy of Yixing's composition, apparently he lost it just when he needed it. At the same time and place, he spotted Luhan slumped on the floor against the wall, sleeping composedly in the bar next to the wine storage. 

"What the hell is he doing here...?" Sehun softly murmured in awe. Closing the distance between them, he said something under his breath in a slight protest, "Does he even know this is not a bedroom?" He knelt down in an attempt to wake Luhan up. To put his hand on Luhan's shoulder and to shake him awake was his idea. He ended up disregarding that idea though. His hand stubbornly reached out and touched Luhan's face instead.

He didn't wake him up. For Sehun, it just seemed like Luhan was having such a nice dream and he didn't wanna ruin that moment. Luhan's composed face was an evidence to that. Besides that, he couldn't help admiring the smaller male from up-close. That close.

Here I go again. He thought, so helplessly. 

"I wonder what you're dreaming about right now..." Sehun spoke gently, coasting his finger down the sleeping beauty's slightly opened lips. "You're even drooling, you kiddo," he chortled quietly as he wiped the saliva falling from Luhan's mouth. Then he added, "I wanna see you open your eyes, but I think it's better this way. While I'm still here, just continue sleeping. Wake up when I leave. Maybe I'll just steal your number so I can call your phone and force you to wake up. You might freak out when you see me. I might drive you home again and have Zhiyu's mother worry. Just don't sleep here. Your position is awkward and you might catch a cold. . Why can I say these things when you're asleep but not when you're awake?" 

Before heading out to leave, Sehun took off his jacket and covered Luhan with it. He also opened Luhan's unlocked phone and saved the latter's number in his own. Then he left with the paper notes and song composition he needed. After climbing in the car, he turned his phone back on. He was about to dial Luhan's number when he suddenly caught something familiar out of the corner of his eye, delaying his actions. 

His phone slipped from his hand, but Sehun was a little too distracted to notice. His gaze followed the figure in black clothes running into the underground bar where he left Luhan. No, it was no housebreaker but Chanyeol.

So Sehun had this theory that maybe Luhan had fallen asleep waiting for Chanyeol. Maybe there was something going on between them for them to secretly see each other in the middle of the night. It was just a feeling - a bad feeling indeed - something that made Sehun feel a twist in his chest and even gave him a headache.

Sehun didn't want to find out if he was right or wrong, but his heart and feet weren't listening to him. He peeked inside with a rapping heart. He saw them.

Chanyeol was trying to wake the blonde boy up. He muttered the words 'I'm here. Did you wait too long?' to Luhan who was slowly emerging from darkness and coming back to consciousness. 

Then with a heavy heart, Sehun stepped back. He was indignant at the sight he was seeing, the scene that was slowly burning him down with greed and bitterness. Sehun then found himself running back to his car. He started the engine and grabbed on the steering wheel with all his strength, almost as if he wanted to crush it with his hands. "That's good then. Chanyeol is there. I don't need to be his alarm clock," he told himself rather discomposedly. "Who cares if they're this close already? Who says I'm jealous...?" Why am I acting like this? "I just need a hot bath, that's all." 

A hot bath? As promised to himself, he took a hot bath the moment he stepped inside his bathroom and squeaked the moment extra warm water striked against his pale skin. He was grumbling to himself the whole time, abusing his mind with thoughts of what Luhan and Chanyeol could be up to behind his back. Even though Luhan and him were over since a long time ago.

Sehun would then close his eyes, soak his head with hot water, and let it stay like that until he feels as though he's gonna go bald. Then he'd do it again. And again. And another. Like punishment.

What am I gonna do with my brain? What do I do? What to do? What to -

 "Ouch!" Sehun yelped in pain when the hot running water on his head felt like it was stabbing his brain mercilessly, cutting off his inner complaints. He backed away from the shower with his eyes so wide and as red as his skin. He didn't know why there were real tears streaming down his cheeks. He wasn't sure if it was because the hot water hurt or because his heart felt like it was being crumpled inside his chest that he cried.

The only thing that he knew was that... Ever since Luhan appeared, he couldn't stop thinking about him. He couldn't stop hating himself again. It was slowly driving him crazy.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Luhan lazily plonked down on the white padded piano bench next to where Chanyeol was situated. "You're frowning, Luhan. Are you disappointed I came instead of Yixing?" Chanyeol asked the blonde who apparently just woke up with a messy and tangled hair.

"Eh?" Luhan blinked his sleepy eyes innocently, then he shook his head as he wrapped himself with the leather jacket which he had no freaking idea where or how he got. "I'm really sorry you guys had to wake up so late," he apologized to the taller male. "It won't happen again."

"Don't worry. I usually sleep late, so nothing to worry about. I was wide awake when Yixing called me and said you had an emergency," Chanyeol said. "What do you need help with anyway?"

Luhan yawned, turning away so he could hide his sleepiness. "I just really need help singing Yixing's song. I'm too nervous for the contest that I feel like I need a voice lesson or else I won't be able to sleep." Luhan continued talking about his worries in a mumble while Chanyeol was currently busy writing something on a plastic coffee cup. Luhan didn't even realize that until Chanyeol handed him the coffee cup with a wide grin on his face. "What's that for?"

"Aren't you used to this already?" 

"Last time you tried to kill me." 

"That- well - that's why I'm giving you coffee everyday! I regret my rash actions."

Luhan smiled slightly before taking the plastic cup in his hands. "Thank you," he mumbled softly and looked at the marked words with a smiley face on its plastic lid. "Wake up and smile?" He read, unaware of Chanyeol's gaze focused on him. 

"Sehun is the most poker-faced person I know when his son's not around, and yet he'd always say something to the band when we all feel like giving up or when we get anxious before a performance," Chanyeol said, recollecting one of those days when Sehun had said that. Luhan didn't move an inch when Sehun's name was mentioned. "Wake up and smile. Today, tomorrow, and the following days after that will be our day.  Because we have music, we make music, and we have each other. We deserve to smile at least. He'd say that."  

Luhan was stunned. He had to agree that did really sound like Sehun somehow. 

"Smile." Chanyeol carried on. "Thanks to him, my pick-up line for you improved. I added 'Wake up' in it."  

"Pick-up line?" 

"I'm not saying I want to pick you up. I just wanna find ways to be closer than this to you." 

Luhan remained silent. One moment he was looking at Chanyeol and then at the piano in front of them. Even though he was just right next to Chanyeol and the piano, his mind was elsewhere. 

And when Chanyeol noticed this, the drummer pulled a face and grouched inwardly about this 'silenced' kind of rejection he received from the other. "I'm trying to flirt here, and he's not listening..." Chanyeol sighed. "Luhan?" 

"Does Sehun still talk to himself?"

"What?" 

"I mean, does he talk to himself? I'm just wondering because I thought I heard him talking to himself the other day. By any chance, have you noticed? Does he always do that?" 

"You make it sound like he's a freak or something, but yeah I've noticed that. Perhaps he likes keeping his feelings to his own that he ends up grumbling to himself," Chanyeol suggested, scratching the back of his head - and Luhan wanted to believe him."Why? What did he say last time?" 

"I don't really remember what it was," Luhan truthfully answered, recalling Sehun's voice somewhere in his senses but not recognizing the exact words said.

"If you catch him again, just give him weed. He'll shut up for sure."

Has he always been like that? "I see," muttered Luhan disappointedly.

After a short w