A few days after their night of partying and stressing, Jiyong was lounging in the dance studio with some dancers. He was waiting for his bandmates to arrive so they could work out a new dance. When Seunghyun walked in with the others, he saw Jiyong with his head on a dancer’s leg, laughing at something she said. He felt a flit in his chest. He huffed and told the singers he needed the bathroom before they started.

The younger rapper looked up just in time to see his lover dart out of the studio room into the hallway. He sat up and shot Bae a questioning look. The only answer he got was his friend shrugging.

Jiyong stood up and walked to his friends.
 

“Is he okay?”

Daesung looked at him. “Yeah? He said he needed to go to the restroom before we started.”

The rapper looked at his shoes. “Oh, uh, okay.”

When the door opened, he saw his lover and smiled at him, but his heart fell when the smile wasn’t returned. He felt the sting of tears and pang of fear that he’d messed up in his chest. Before he could ask them for a few minutes, Bae started the music and told everyone to get into place.

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After rehearsing, Jiyong walked over to the elder rapper and gently tugged on his sleeve.

The side-glance he received felt cold and the shorter man had to swallow the lump in his throat.

“Seunghyun hyung, what’s the matter?”

The taller looked like he restrained himself from rolling his eyes. “Nothing. I’m going back to the dorm.”

He walked away from Jiyong before the younger could say anything. Seungri walked over to Jiyong and placed a hand on his arm. “Are you alright?”

Ji shook his head and grabbed the youngest singer’s arm and lead him out to the smoking area.
 

The rapper stopped once they were outside and he whirled around to stare at the maknae.

“Is he mad at me? Did I do something?”

Tears were glistening in his eyes and Seungri frowned. “I don’t know hyung. He was fine on the way over, but he got weird when we started practicing.”

“He was?”

“Yeah, he was joking around with Daesung and being kind of hyper. But yeah, he got kind of weird once we got here. Maybe he just is mad about the fact that today was supposed to be a day off for us?”

Jiyong closed his eyes, forcing a tear to fall. “I don’t think that’s what’s wrong. He wouldn’t smile at me and when I went to talk to him, he announced that he was leaving. I must’ve done something. I need to go talk to him, keep them distracted okay? If he’s mad I don’t want to bring you guys into it.”  

Seungri nodded and felt sad at how afraid the rapper had been as he watched Jiyong walk away.

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Jiyong walked into the dorm, and shut the door quietly behind him. He could hear the TV and he stepped around the corner. He saw Seunghyun watching an old movie, water droplets clung to the ends of his hair. The younger man walked softly down the hall and took a shower so he could think of what he wanted to say.

After a few moments, Jiyong stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his hips. He quickly moved across the hall to their room and found sweatpants and a T-shirt. He walked back to the living room and saw his lover still watching the movie.

“Seunghyun?”

“What?”
 

Jiyong flinched at his tone. “Can we talk. Please?”

The elder’s shoulders slumped and he gestured for Jiyong to sit with him.

Jiyong walked around the couch and sat facing Seunghyun’s right side. He pulled his knees to his chest.

“Are you mad at me?”

The elder man was silent for a moment. “Yes...no…. I don’t know.”

Jiyong swallowed. “D-did I do something wrong?” His voice cracked as he spoke, giving away that he was fighting back tears.

Seunghyun closed his eyes and bit his lip. He hated hearing Jiyong sound like that. “No, it wasn’t something you did. It was how it looked.”

The younger sniffled and thought for a moment. “Were you jealous?”

The rapper shook his head. “Actually no, I don’t think I was. I thought I was at first, but this doesn’t feel like jealousy.”

“What does it feel like?”

Seunghyun finally looked at him. “It felt like what should be. Why are you with me? We can’t tell people, we won’t be able to have a family. We can’t get married. Those are things you’ve always openly said you wanted. Seeing you with that girl, laughing with her, it looked natural. You could have a family with someone like her. And with me, well you can’t have those things, or at least not anytime soon. I’m not good enough for you. You’re perfect and beautiful and graceful and I’m just an awkward klutz.”

Jiyong felt tears fall, but he was surprised at how strong his voice was. “I want to be with you. I used to say those things, yes, but I love you. I love you so much that sometimes it hurts and that I feel like I’m trying to touch the sun. You’re amazing. And we could still have a family. We can adopt, or we could find a surrogate. There’s so many ways to have a family. I don’t want what I used to, because I have you. I want to spend my life with you because you are literally the most perfect human I’ve ever met. You’re funny and caring, and ridiculously handsome. You being who you are is why I love you.”

Seunghyun pulled Jiyong to him, feeling guilty that he’d upset him. “I’m sorry that I don’t know how to talk to you. I shouldn’t have left, I was just really confused. I love you so much. You’re seriously so out of my league.”

Jiyong laughed and nuzzled into Seunghyun’s shirt, relief washing over him. “I was so worried that you were like mega pissed at me. I didn’t know what I was going to say to you. But really, we can have a family if we want. If I’m being honest, I love that you were thinking about why I’d be better with a girl. We haven’t really talked about it, but you want a family too.”

“Do you think YG would let us have a kid at some point?”

Jiyong laughed. “I think he would. If we really wanted a family, I think he’d want us to be happy. Although that might not be for a while.”

“Yeah, I think he might keel over if we talked about having kids in front of him already.”

Jiyong smiled and pulled away to look at the elder. Seunghyun ran his thumb over Jiyong’s cheek and leaned towards him, gently kissing him.

Jiyong melted into the kiss before whining in disappointment when his lover’s lips left his. “What do you say we ditch this crappy movie and go out tonight?”

The younger smiled at him. “That sounds perfect.”

Hope you're enjoying the story :)