Chapter 3
Just Once
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You woke up in the morning with a throbbing in your head. You groaned and flipped over so you were lying on your stomach. As if to make your morning go even worse than it already was, your alarm clock started beeping giving you a mini heart attack. What a crappy freaking morning, you thought as you reached over to hit the snooze button. As if on cue, your little brother ran into your room screaming and jumped on your bed. “The world hates me today,” you murmured slightly irritated. “Yonghwa, it’s like 7 in the morning, why are you bothering me so early?” You groaned as you turned to face your brother. “Actually, it’s nearly 12. Mom said to wake you up otherwise you’d never get out of bed,” he said as he jumped up and down. You pulled the covers over your head causing your brother to fall. He yelled out your name and lightly hit your legs before storming off. He was mostly likely now going to bother your sister about how “mean” you were to him. You laid there for a few more minutes, thinking about nothing in particular, before pulling the covers down and dragging yourself out of bed. You walked over to your vanity and leaned in to examine your face. Your eyes were puffy and slightly swollen, and your hair was all over the place. “God, I look like complete ,” you said as you patted your hair down. You went into the bathroom and took a shower. The warm water stung your skin at first but soon became comforting. You closed your eyes and let your mind race. You stayed like that for a while until the water turned cold.
You turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. You quickly changed into whatever decent piece of clothing you could find in your closet and ran down stairs to the kitchen. Your mother was cutting up vegetables getting lunch ready. You came up beside her and took sniff. “Mmm, smells good! Whatcha making?” You asked reaching out for a piece of carrot to munch on. Your mom slapped your hand away and said, “Something good of course. Honey, are you alright? Is everything okay with you?” She turned to give you a worried look. You put on a fake smile and nodded your head before saying, “Of course everything’s alright. Why wouldn’t it be?” “Well, you looked a little out of sorts yesterday, so I was just wondering if anything was going on with you,” she said as she took your hands in hers. “You know you can always talk to me if there’s anything wrong.” You were grateful for her worrying over you, but you didn’t really want to tell her about your “dilemma.” As much as you loved your mother, you just couldn’t talk to her about things like that because it was just way too awkward. You smiled at her and told her you were fine and gave her a quick hug.
After lunch, you went up to your room and your laptop. You went through your emails, not really expecting to find anything. You only ever got junk mail; ads on losing weight and dating sites asking you to sign up and find the love of your life. “Love of my life? Spare me please,” you said bitterly. You decided you needed to get out. Your room was feeling way to suffocating. You didn’t want to call Howon after what had happened. You weren’t ready enough yet to face him, and there was no way you were calling Dongwoo. Plus, he was probably on a date with that girl whose name you didn’t even know. Wait, what the hell. He never even told me her name! , you thought. You ran your hands through your hair thinking of people you’d want to call. You didn’t really have very many friends, but one person came to mind. You grabbed your phone and dialled her number. After what felt like an eternity, she finally picked up.
“Hello?” a soft voice asked on the other line. “Hey, Yuri it’s me.” Yuri was your best “girl” friend. You didn’t really get along well with the other girls at your school. Yuri was different from them. She understood you better and your personalities mixed well. Even though you were good friends, you were better friends with Howon and Dongwoo, so you spent your time mostly with them. You figured it was about time you started hanging out around more girls. “Oh hey! What’s up? We haven’t talked in so long.” You laughed awkwardly and said, “Yeah I know. It’s all my fault, I‘ve just been so busy. Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to do anything today? Maybe grab a coffee and catch up? It’s almost the end of summer and I feel really bad we haven’t been able to hang out.“ You heard her giggle on the other line. “Actually, that sounds great. Meet you in half an hour?” she said happily. “Sure, meet you in half an hour.”
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You walked into the coffee shop and spotted Yuri sitting at a table on the other side of the room. She turned her gaze to look at you and waved. You waved back and walked over to her table. You sat in the seat opposite from her and gave her a warm smile. “So how’s your summer been?” you asked her. “It’s been alright. I haven’t really been up to too much. I’ve been getting a lot of shifts at the supermarket lately, so that’s been taking up most of my time. How about you?” she asked. You switched your gaze from her to the window and sighed. You were debating on whether or not to tell her about the whole Howon/Dongwoo thing. You figured it wouldn’t kill you; plus you knew she wouldn’t tell anyone. “Well..” You started, “It was good about until yesterday. Yeah, yesterday was not so good.” You sighed and looked at her. She gave you a worried expression and asked, “Why? What happened? Are you alright?” You began to spill everything. She just nodded as she listened. Not once did she interrupt you, allowing you to vent out all your feelings. Once you were done she gave you a piteous look. “So what are you planning to do?” She asked. You closed your eyes for a second and thought. What were you going to do? “Honestly, I have no idea. Howon said to forget everything but I just can’t. How can I pretend that everything’s fine when my best friend is clearly hurting? I can’t be that selfish. It‘s so frustrating!” You wanted to pull your hair out from all the stress this was giving you. “Do you love him?” You didn’t know how to respond to the question. You were sure you loved him as a friend, but you weren’t sure if you loved him more than that. You thought back to when you kissed him and a light blush crept onto your face.
“I think, I might. Honestly, I’m not really sure. Howon’s always been by my side and I’ve always looked at him as just a friend because I’d always only ever seen Dongwoo.” You said while you fidgeted with your fingers. “I’d never really looked at Howon the way I look at Dongwoo. I really don’t know how I should feel. I don’t want to hurt him and I definitely don’t want to lose him. He means so much to me, I couldn’t bear it to let him go.” Yuri nodded and reached out to grab your hand. You looked at her in the eyes and felt your eyes begin to water. “Maybe, it’s time you gave Howon a chance. Just once, look at him the way you look at Dongwoo. You might be surprised to find you may just love him more than you do Dongwoo.” You pondered on her words. Should you give Howon a chance? All these years he’d been loving you unconditionally, the least you could do was give him a chance. At least then, you could sort out your feelings and give Howon a chance to be loved the way he deserved to be. “You know what? You’re right. We might get hurt in the end, but we‘ll never know unless we take the chance. If we’re meant to be, we’re meant to be. If not, then at least we’ll know. Howon’s always been there for me, and for once I want to be the one there for him. Thank you, Yuri. It really means a lot to me that you’ve listened to all my problems,” you said and gave her a smile. She gave you a smile back and wiped the tears off your face. “No problem. Just remember you can always call me if you’re ever going through something. I want you to know that you won’t be alone, and I’ll always be there for you.” You got up from your seat and gave her a hug. You were glad to have Yuri as a friend. You knew now that you’d always have her to talk to when the things were getting too rough. The both of you left the coffee shop and bid your goodbyes. “Remember! You can always call me if you need to talk! By the way, we need to hang out more, you spend way too much time with them,” she called out and pouted as the two of you were heading to your houses. You laughed at her cuteness and promised her you would.
Once you reached your house, you went up to your room and pulled out your phone. You dailed Howon’s number and waited for him the answer. Your heart was beating like crazy. You were going to go crazy from all the nervousness you were feeling. After a few rings, he finally picked up. “Hey, are you okay now?” he asked. You took a deep breath and said, “Hoya, we need to talk.”
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Oh my gosh, I'm sorry that was such a ty chapter you guys. I was having major writers block so the chapter came out pretty bad, LOL. Once again, did not check for grammar and spelling. I'm so lazy it's ridiculous lmao. SO YES. YOU'VE DECIDED TO GIVE HOWON A CHANCE~ I wonder how things will work out for the both of you? And how will Dongwoo react? Ohoho. :]
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