∞

You were sitting under your favourite tree in the park enjoying the beautiful weather letting the wind blow through your hair. Days like those were always your favorite. They never failed to put you in the best mood. You were deep in your thoughts thinking of graduation and University, when you suddenly thought of him. A soft smile formed on your lips. He was your best friend, your partner in crime, your superhero, your ray of sunshine. He was your Dongwoo, and you had been in love with him for as long as you could remember. The first time you met him wasn’t exactly the scenario you could’ve hoped for. You had just moved to a new school and you didn’t know a soul. The other girls found you weird because you sat in the corner of the classroom, keeping mostly to yourself. You never really did do well in terms interacting with other people. Dongwoo always wondered why you were always by yourself, so he felt inclined to go talk to you. Dongwoo casually came up to you and introduced himself with a smile plastered on his face, “hey! My name’s Dongwoo, what’s yours?” You just stared at him with your mouth open. Someone was actually talking to you. “Uhh.. Are you ok?” he asked, a little creeped out at how intensely you were staring at him. “Oh! Um, I’m so sorry!” you apologized quietly and introduced yourself. “Hmm, cute name. Hey, do you wanna be friends?” he asked. You smiled at him meekly and nodded your head. And that was how your friendship began.

 

You turned around to hear a familiar voice call out your name. You smiled fondly at Dongwoo running up to you. “Hey Piglet, watcha up to?“ Piglet was his nickname for you, because you were just like Piglet, tiny and shy. You hated it at first because you found it to be embarrassing, but you eventually got used to it. “Well, it was a nice day so I decided to come out to the park,“ you said answering his question. He sat himself down beside and said, “Well, you looked like some loner freak so I guess I should keep you company huh?“ Some loner freak? Are you kidding me?! Ugh, this kid, you thought as you glared at him. He looked at you and began laughing. His radiant smile and infectious laugh couldn’t help but make you smile as well. You wanted to tell him so bad how much you loved to see him smile, how badly you wanted to be the reason behind that smile. You suddenly broke out of your trance as he poked you lightly on the cheek.

 

“Why are you staring at me like that? Am I really that handsome?” he looked at you with a smirk. You turned your head away in embarrassment, a blush creeping across your face. Had you really been staring at him that intently? “Don’t get cocky Dongwoo! Who said you were even handsome in the first place?” you retorted, only slightly satisfied with your lame comeback. “Well, by the way you were looking at me, I’d say you thought I was,” he laughed as he pulled you onto his lap, wrapping his arms around you. You loved it when he hugged you. Being in his arms made you feel safe and happy.  You wanted right there to pull away from him and kiss him softly but you knew you never would. He didn’t see you the way you saw him, and it killed you knowing that.

 

He rested his head on your shoulder. “So piglet, I’ve been meaning to tell you something for a while now.” Your heartbeat suddenly sped up. “Oh really? And what is it may I ask?” He buried his face into your neck muffling his words, “there’s this girl I met a couple of weeks ago, and we’ve been talking for a while now.”  You felt your heart drop. A girl? Where’d he meet her? And why was he only telling you now? “Oh.. Do you like her?” “Yeah kind of,” he smiled shyly while scratching the back of his head. You turned around to look at his face. He was absolutely flustered. This broke your heart, making tears threaten to fall from your eyes. You wanted to leave and get as far away from him as possible. Why? You weren’t really sure, but you just knew you didn’t want to be there anymore. “D-Dongwoo.. I-I need to go.” You rushed out of his lap, grabbed your things and ran. Dongwoo sat their dumbfounded, not quite sure what had happened.

 

You ran and you ran and you ran. You didn’t really know where you were going. You didn’t really have anywhere to go. Tears streaming down your face, you found yourself in front of Howon’s house. How’d I end up here, you thought to yourself. Just as you were about to leave, you heard someone call out your name. You quickly wiped away your tears and turned around to face Howon. “Oh Howon, fancy seeing you here,” you laughed awkwardly. “Well, this is my house..” he gave you a strange look. “Hey, have you been crying?” He stepped closer and cupped your cheeks. He looked into your eyes and immediately your tears started to fall once again. “Why am I so weak? I already know how he feels about me, but I keep on hoping, keep on wishing that maybe it might change. Howon, what’s wrong with me?” He pulled you into a hug, and you buried your face into his chest. “Nothing. There’s nothing wrong with you. You‘re perfect.”

 

Howon. You could always count on Howon. He was Dongwoo’s best friend and after he introduced the two of you to each other, the three of you became inseparable. Howon knew how you felt about Dongwoo, and he was always there to wipe away your tears anytime you cried over him. Howon was your protector and your confidant. You could tell him anything and everything, and you knew it would be safe with him. It wasn’t like you couldn’t talk to Dongwoo, because you did, but there were things you couldn’t tell him, or rather, have the courage to tell him. Such as how you were madly in love with him. Howon always felt bad for you and so he promised himself that he would always take care of you no matter what. As the years had gone by, Howon felt himself falling in love with you. Maybe it was the way you smiled at him, or the fact that you felt so fragile in his arms, that he wanted to keep you close. Whatever it was, he vowed to love you until you pushed him away. It was times like these that he wanted to kiss you until you felt better and make you his, but he knew where he stood in your heart. Still, he had hope that maybe one day, you’d look at him the way you looked at Dongwoo and realize just how much he loved you.

 

“Hey, come on. Come inside and I’ll make you some hot chocolate okay?” “With marshmallows?” “With as many marshmallows as you want.” You gave him a weak smile and followed him into his house. You plopped yourself onto his couch and brought your knees up to your chest. You left out a soft sigh. Howon poked his head out of the kitchen and said, “give me a sec and I’ll have the hot chocolate done alright?” You gave him and a small nod, and he retreated back into the kitchen. You rested your chin on your knees and thought about how stupid it was of you to run away from Dongwoo like that. Being oblivious as he is, he probably wouldn’t have understood why you ran off like that. You were kind of happy at that, but irritated at the same time. You closed your eyes and opened them again to the smell of hot chocolate. Hoya planted himself beside you and handed you the hot chocolate. “Here, this should make you feel better.” He smiled at you warmly. You more than happily took the mug and took a sip. “Ah, Howon! You’re hot chocolate is really the best.” You looked at him and grinned. “Thank you. For everything. I really don’t know what I’d do without you.” He smirked and said, “you’d probably be crying in a dark corner in your room.” You glared at him and he just laughed. “So what exactly happened? Dongwoo say something again?” he asked. You looked down at the floor. You felt embarrassed just thinking about it. “You could say so.. Actually, I was being kind of stupid. All he did was tell me about how he met some girl and is now practically in love with her.” Ok, so you were being dramatic with the whole ‘practically being in love with her’ thing, but you were feeling bitter, so that kind of justified it right? Howon just looked at you, not really sure how to respond. He wanted to tell you to just give up on Dongwoo and come to him because he would love you more than anyone or anything. He just sighed and you pouted. Before he could say anything, you cut him off. “Look, I know I was being childish by running off, but…” “But you love him.” You warily looked up at Howon, he sounded hurt saying it.

 

“Howon, what’s wrong?” you asked him full of concern. “What’s wrong? You’re just as dense as he is you know that?” he said irritated and looked away. You were taken aback by this. He never spoke to you like that. Hewas surprised at himself as well. He wasn’t sure why he snapped at you like that, but he figured to continue while he was at it. Why prolong the agony? “What do you mean I don’t under--” “exactly my point! You don’t understand, or rather, you choose not to. You’re so caught up in him you don’t see anyone else. I’ve always been here, I’ve always held you whenever you cried over him, I’ve always loved you. But you don’t see that. You only want him and it hurts me too you know. Why can’t you love me instead?” The last part came out as almost a whisper while tears streamed down his face. You sat there shocked. You didn’t know what to say. What could you say? “Howon.. I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way,” you told him, as you reached out to cup his face. You turned his face so that it was facing yours while you wiped away his tears with your thumbs. You looked at him and apologized. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” You weren’t really sure what came over you, maybe it was the fact that he looked so defeated, but you leaned in and kissed him softly. He was shocked at first, but kissed you back nonetheless. You heard the door open and quickly pulled away.

 

Luckily for you, you had pulled away before Dongwoo saw. “Hey Howon, do you know where-- oh, so you’re here.” He walked over to the both of you and sat himself beside you. He looked at you and said, “hey, have you been crying? Your eyes are all red and puffy.” “Oh, no it’s just my contacts. They’ve been bugging me all day today,” you lied. As you expected, he bought it. “Well, if you were coming to see Howon you should have told me! We could have gone together, I don‘t know why you had to run off like that” he whined. You giggled, “sorry, next time I’ll tell you.” Howon continued to sit there quietly. He didn’t know what was going on through your mind. He was pretty sure now though that you did have feelings for him, why else would you have kissed him if you didn’t? He was brought out of his thoughts when Dongwoo suddenly called him. “Bro! I need your help. I was telling Piglet earlier about this girl I met, and I think I really like her. I was thinking about asking her out on a date. What do you think?” A big grin spread across Dongwoo’s face. Howon looked at you. You were staring off into space most likely trying to think of other things to keep you from crying. This could be my chance. I could replace  Dongwoo in her heart, or at least make my part a little bigger. Maybe now she could look at me too, he thought.

 

∞

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SO WHAT IS HE GONNA SAY? :D

 

Oh god, that was slightly painfull to read, LOL. What a ridiculously long chapter. I think i'm gonna make them shorter in the future haha. Sorry it was really crappy, i'll try and improve for the future chapters. ~__~